Disinformation Desk

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Think about what intentions you have for InfallibleFalsehood. Are they good intentions or bad and deceptive?

>So... Have any feelings for him? ;D

[Armok]

> Make a new account, tell everyone you got hacked and direct them to your new account, delete your old account.

[Naristar]

change clothes cause you relized that outfit is sooo last year(gag)

[That Didn't Stop]

>Think about what intentions you have for InfallibleFalsehood.



What? Who is this "InfallibleFalsehood?"


==>



The Eteo'ori quickly clarify that InfallibleFalsehood is another name for your good pal, IllusoryFarewell.

That makes a lot of sense, you suppose. He does seem to perpetuate a lot of falsehood, seemingly just for the fun of it. It was a bit hurtful at first, but you have since come to regard it as an endearing quirk. Except that it isn't endearing at all. It's just hurtful.

As someone who has never knowingly lied to anyone, you have a hard time understanding why he does that. You probably never will.


==>



But its been weeks since he has answered your messages, or contacted you in any way. Your incorporeal informants have assured you that he is alive, but they have not given you any clues regarding his location, or what sort of trouble he is involved with.

Much depends on him, they say. You must find him, they say. He needs you, they say.


==>



"I've been trying!" you reply. "But I barely know anything about him, and I don't even know that I know what I think I know!"



>So... Have any feelings for him? ;D



Yes. Lots of feelings of camaraderie and compassion and concern for his well-being. Lots and lots of concern for his well-being.


==>



And gratitude for all of the ways he has helped you with your mission.


==>



And maybe a little resentment for the pathological lying.


==>



And disappointment that he doesn't seem to believe you about the Eteo'ori. But you understand why it would be difficult to believe something like that, and you try not to hold it against him.


>Check that mayan poster for clues as to the construction of the teleporter.



Now that you have taken thorough inventory of your feelings, it's on to business.

This calendar helps you keep track of the various transuniversal alignments that are necessary for the correct calibration of your transportalizer.

There are no special alignments happening today. Good thing, too. You've got enough on your plate already.


>change clothes cause you relized that outfit is sooo last year



What does that even mean? Your outfit is currently existing in the present moment, in perfect synchronization with the current timeline. At least you think it is. It would certainly be embarrassing if you and your clothes were separated by a temporal gap of over one year!

Or it would be, if there were any other human beings around to witness such an egregious lapse in modesty.

[Mibbs]

examine machine next to your computer

[Naristar]

look out the window!

[Chwoka]

throw

machine next to your computer

out the window!

[Curris]

Activate Wall - Mounted Retinal Scanner to attain access to your SCIENCE LAB. You have enough on your plate, you'd better get to work on THE PROTOTYPE!

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Look at the last message you got from IllusoryFarewell. Maybe you'll find some clues about his whereabouts. Look at all his text messages.

>Has Valentine's Day past for you or is it still coming?

[Armok]

> Eteo'ori: break the fourth wall using transcendent wisdom.

[That Didn't Stop]

>examine machine next to your computer



It’s a long-range radio. It allows you to stay in touch with a particularly paranoid ally of yours, who insists that online communications are somehow less secure. You have given up arguing with him.

Sometimes you use it to eavesdrop on a nearby communications facility.


>look out the window!



It's right across the chasm, at the foot of a neighboring hill.


==>



See?


>throw machine next to your computer out the window!



If you didn't want to talk to the Falconer, you could have just turned your radio off for a while! As it is, you will probably have to retrieve it later - assuming that it doesn't roll into the abyss.


>Look at the last message you got from IllusoryFarewell. Maybe you'll find some clues about his whereabouts.



You have read your last conversation with IF several times now. You haven’t learned anything valuable yet.

Show ConspIrelog:

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IllusoryFarewell contacted ThetanicImmortal January 6, 2012 at 11:20 am

IF: hey
IF: got a minute?
TI: I do
TI: and I will gladly give it to you
:)
IF: ok thanks
IF: its about something you said yesterday
i was talking to you about wendy for some reason
and you said some something about like
my soul and stuff
and it needing to fly or something like that
and i kinda tuned you out b/c you were sounding crazy again
but now i kinda wish i could remember what it was you said
TI: oh, I’m sure I don’t remember
TI: but you can check the conspIrelog if you want to get an exact quote
IF: right
IF: soooo
IF: i guess thats it then
IF: ...
TI: what made you want to remember so badly?
TI: you’re typing very hastily
IF: ugh
IF: no
IF: no way
TI: ?
IF: this isnt going to turn into another freakin therapy session
IF: so forget it
IF: im here to talk about aliens
IF: so lets talk about aliens
TI: of course I'd love to talk more about the Eteo'ori
TI: and nobody is trying to psychoanalyze you
TI: I don't believe in that sort of thing, remember?
IF: i remember. sorry.
IF: its just that i feel more sane after I talk to you
IF: even though most of what you say is completely crazy
TI: thank you?
IF: youre welcome
TI: so, what is troubling you this time?
TI: *she asks in the most non-psychoanalytical tone possible
IF: do you ever get tired of all this?
TI: all this whining?
TI: but of course ;)
IF: haha
IF: i mean all this alien stuff and like
IF: devoting your life to this mystery world that most people will never understand
TI: people's incredulity can be frustrating at times
TI: but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world
TI: or any other
IF: yeah its different for you i guess
IF: youve never had to hide what you were trying to do
IF: the first time we spoke, you told me that you talked to incorporeal aliens on a regular basis, and that they wanted mankind to collaborate on building a massive, self-sustaining spaceship before the world ends in 2012
IF: but me
IF: i can't just tell people what I know
IF: i mean, homeland security would freak out if they even knew i was talking to you
IF: they'd assume that you were a spy, trying to prepare the earth for invasion
IF: so i lie
TI: but you lie to your superiors so that you can continue to supply truth to people like me
TI: that's the most noble kind of lie there is!
IF: yeah its pretty noble alright
IF: but the thing is
IF: i lie even when i dont have to
IF: sometimes i even lie to my friends
TI: I know.
IF: and i end up feeling like crap about it
IF: wait, what?
TI: you lie to me all the time.
IF: wow
IF: busted
IF: then why do you keep listening to me?
TI: because we're friends.
TI: besides, i have corroborated a lot of the information you've provided with other sources
TI: even with your wierd habit of pointless deceit, you're still my most valuable informant
IF: well thats good news
IF: thanks for listening
IF: im gonna msg you later
IF: gotta report to my boss pretty soon
IF: bye
TI: bye

IllusoryFarewell broke contact with ThetanicImmortal

>Look at all his text messages.



You bring up the archive and open the previous ConspIrelog.

Show ConspIrelog:

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ThetanicImmortal contacted IllusoryFarewell January 5, 2012 at 3:25

TI: hi... uh, Farewell!
IF: hi
TI: so, I found a few things I’d like to run by you
TI: mysteeerious things
IF: well youve come to the right place
TI: i’m uploading the pics now

Show ConspIcs:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

==>



Show ConspIrelog:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

IF: well
IF: what have we here
IF: ill tell you what we have here
IF: what we have
IF: here
IF: is
TI: :)
IF: hell if i know
TI: now this is surprising
TI: coming from the guy who
TI: and I quote
TI: is “basically in charge of all the alien-related capers around here”
IF: i know
IF: its weird
IF: did you take these?
TI: no
TI: but I can tell you that they were taken in southwestern virginia
IF: interesting
IF: maybe ill can get my friends down at the lab to take a look at them
IF: work their magic on it
IF: a little ‘zoom in and enhance’ action
IF: they’ll get to the bottom of this
IF: whatever ‘this’ is
TI: sounds great
IF: yeah
IF: so anyway
IF: what else is new?
TI: well, I am currently hiding under a bridge
TI: to avoid an especially unpleasant conversation
IF: a DANGEROUS conversation?
IF: or just an annoying one?
TI: a very, very annoying one
IF: :( yeah tell me about it
IF: i just bought one of those ugly fake plants
IF: just so ill have someplace to hide when my neighbor tries to talk to me
TI: and is this neighbor...
TI: daaaangerous?
IF: shes just lonely
IF: and she wants to have my babies
TI: *sigh*
TI: my pursuer is the same way
IF: he wants to have your babies?
IF: what a freak!
TI: the Eteo’ori seem to think that I should talk to him
IF: well that changes things
IF: if invisible aliens are trying to set you up with the guy
IF: then youd best find yourself a justice of the peace
IF: or a spaceship captain or something and get married right away
IF: i wish i had time traveling energy beings to help me manage my love life
TI: I don’t think that’s what they have in mind
IF: oh?
TI: perhaps this oaf has an important part to play in the crisis ahead
TI: or maybe I just need to talk to him to get it over with
TI: so I don’t have to hide from him all the time like a frightened Chibritacxi hides from Oglogoth
IF: why cant you just stick to metaphors that other people are familiar with?
TI: sorry
TI: for convenient reference, a Chibritacxi is an easily-frightened creature
IF: i figured
TI: while Oglogoth is really scary
IF: everyone knows who oglogoth is
TI: the point is, I need to face my fear of having an awkward conversation with an unattractive boor so I can get on with my life already
TI: sometimes you just need to silence the part of you that wants to stay on the ground
TI: if you want your spirit to take flight
IF: theres an idea!
IF: just fly away from that tool!
IF:pchooooo
TI: I can’t tell if you’re joking
TI: or just not listening
IF: or you could just put the Et’e’o’o’ri’i on temporal lookout duty
IF: and have them give you a headsup whenever the guy is about to try to talk to you in the future
IF: and you never have to deal with it again
TI: i suppose it could be both...
IF: or
IF: how about you have them fix it so that you never even met him in the first place?
IF: shouldnt be too hard
TI: goodbye, Farewell.
TI: I will contact you again when you feel like listening

ThetanicImmortal broke contact with IllusoryFarewell

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Note that IF seems to have become upset when you mentioned the Eteo'ori wanting you to talk to your creepy pursuer.

>Is there anything you know about IF that you don't tell him? Do you know his real name and what he looks like? Did the Eteo'ori tell you that?

[Mibbs]

Ask the Eotori for help. IF might be a bit of a dodgy friend sometimes, but he seems to be in real trouble.

[Naristar]

Notice that the radio is arolling
head out to stop if from plumeting into the abyss

Be contacted by the Jerk who broke into Ifs house

[That Didn't Stop]

Heads up, ppl! Today's post is a TEXT UPDATE. Tomorrow's may be as well; we'll see. I love this thread far too much to abandon it, but my inconsistently translucent stick-figure "artwork" takes an inordinately long time for me to prepare, and I confess that vector drawing is NOT VERY FUN for me. What am I, made of time?

That isn't to say that I won't go back and fix it later.

UPDATE: Fixed. Finally!


>Is there anything you know about IF that you don't tell him? Do you know his real name and what he looks like? Did the Eteo'ori tell you that?



It has never occurred to you to ask the Eteo'ori for personal details like that! They usually just direct you toward promising opportunities, or give you insight into constructing your transportalizer (since you have no formal training in engineering stable dimensional rifts). But it wouldn't hurt to try. Maybe they're feeling informative today.


>Ask Eteo'ori for help.



Your invisible friends are silent. You get the distinct impression that they are trying to mask their embarrassment. You would certainly be worried, if your optimistic worldview left you with the ability to worry.


>Eteo’ori: break the fourth wall using transcendent wisdom.



1. Mortals cannot command the Eteo’ori
2. The Eteo’ori, in their transcendent wisdom, have decided that breaking the fourth wall is a bad idea right now. That wall exists for a reason, you know!
3. The Eteo’ori may or may not exist.


>Has Valentine's Day past for you or is it still coming?



Unfortunately, Valentine’s day still looms ahead. You shudder to think of what the Falconer might do in an attempt to woo you. Will he give you a new shotgun? A backup power generator? Some kind of dried meat, perhaps? All of the above?

Let's pick a new topic, shall we?


>Jen: Activate Wall - Mounted Retinal Scanner to attain access to your SCIENCE LAB. You have enough on your plate, you'd better get to work on THE PROTOTYPE!



You activate the wall-mounted retinal scanner.


==>



The room resonates with the whirring and creaking of subterranean machinery, then slowly descends toward the heart of the mountain.


==>



A hollow thud signals your arrival.

Your front door now opens to a massive cylindrical chamber. It used to function as some sort of missile silo, before its owners hastily abandoned it. It's a bit drafty, but the ample workspace and complete privacy it affords are quite convenient.


==>



There it is: your prototype. Your life's work.

It's the ugliest piece of trash you've ever seen. But, hey, you're not finished building it yet! Give yourself a break, will ya?


==>



You grab a wrench and set about tightening the little dealies that stick off of the big flat thing. A few of them were singed during the last calibration, and you think you will have to replace them, probably. In case it wasn't clear, you have absolutely no idea what you are doing here. Aside from saving the world, that is.

[Mibbs]

Falconer: burst in through a window

[Naristar]

Smell freshly cooked bacon!

[That Didn't Stop]

==>



You are now: the Falconer. You call yourself the Falconer because you hunt with falcons, and because it sounds a lot more manly than your real name, WHICH YOU REVEAL TO NO ONE.

You have been attempting to radio your dear, sweet, considerate and completely insane hippy friend for over an hour now. She's either in mortal danger, or she's deliberately ignoring you as part of her ongoing plan to seduce you. Either way, you are heading over to her place right away and jumping through her window!


>Falconer: Burst in through a window.




==>




==>



You plummet down a pitch-black elevator shaft and fall into the heart of the mountain. This sort of thing happens to you with some regularity, as you operate on a strict, "Act First, Think It Through Later" policy.


==>



Fortunately, your trusty pal Gregory is able to slow your fall by latching his talons onto your lapel and flapping his wings as fast as he can. You hope that you can one day teach Gregory to carry you long distances in this manner. Jen says that's impossible, but you are quite certain that Ol' Greg will be up to the task once he's had a bit of STRENGTH TRAINING.

[Naristar]

The plummeting radio should clip gregory as it falls past them down the abyss

[Armok]

Is it just me or is the disappearance of drawing suspiciously correlated with the introduction of action sequences that sound like they'd look awesome?

[OrangeAipom]

Is it just me or is the disappearance of drawing suspiciously correlated with the introduction of action sequences that sound like they'd look awesome?

I'm guessing that makes them harder to draw.

[WhimsicalAquarium]

A bit late in making this command.. >.<

>Jen: Conveniently receive an early, sweet, and thoughtful Valentine's gift from IF with a return address that he forgot to put as anonymous.

[avidGamer]

Falconer: Fall in a more stalkerly manner

[That Didn't Stop]

>Fall in a more stalkerly manner

[Mibbs]

Falcon: secretly loathe the falconer with all your heart