EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (SEX SEX SEX)

[Weather Report]

> DD: You know whoever puts on that ring is going to become just as obsessed with Equius. If you're lucky you may be able to nullify it somehow if you can manage to get one of them troll kids to prototype that other Equius corpse, or maybe the dreamself (or waking self) of the one who hates him. Still, that would require some kind of backdoor or maybe a stray meteor, and that would take weeks to execute unless you can get the staff and start the reckoning early and send someone back on the meteor to make the corpse already be prototyped. This is too complicated, maybe you should just invest all of your time selling hats and forget about the queen.



DD ain't gay. That's all you need to know. You ain't gonna fall for that faggot no matter what, lovestruck robot or not.

All you need is some gray ladies and you're good for a couple hours.

> CD: Go talk to DD.



You cannot talk to DD beause the man you see before you is JN!

Speak to him anyway.



You call out Jack, hey sir! How did you get back here so fast, seeing how you were escaping into outer space or something earlier. He says sorry but you got the wrong man, kid. He's just the neighboorhood haberdasher. You say but you look just like Jack, Jack. Why're you here Jack the police are after you. He says he's tellin' you he ain't Jack, Jack so buy a hat and get out.

> Sollux: Inspect mini-fridge.







You are currently thirsty, but Diamonds Droog won't let you quench that thirst just yet. You ask him whyyyyy? You're thirsty! He starts to tell you ten-thousand reasons why, but you stop him and politely request an answer in Pesterlog format. He says well why the hell didn't you ask sooner.

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SOLLUX: but diiamond2 droog, ii really do want a driink. what can ii do to get you to let me get me a driink?
DD: Kid, that ain't me, I'm tellin' ya. I'm just a haberdasher. But the name's got a nice vibe goin' for it. Tell the real Diamonds 'good on ya'.
DD: You'd just go across the street to that donut shop if you're really as thirsty as ya say. They've got some of those new-age jamba juice teas in a hippie bottle or something.
SOLLUX: ii have a feeliing we wouldn't be welcome iin there.
DD: Well sorry. No dice here either.
SOLLUX: at lea2t tell me why ii can't have any?
DD: Fine, kid. Y'really wanna know? Y'see that mush all over the floor?
SOLLUX: the blood?
DD: Nah, all that's melted ice cream. The thing's been on the fritz all day so now all the refreshments are all warmed up and taste like cheap garbage.
SOLLUX: and that arm 2tiickiing out?
DD: That's my blow-up doll. I was trying to hide my secret hobby from you. You bastard.
SOLLUX: well gue22 what, mii2ter droog, my friiend, my droog, geddiit? slang.
DD: I ain't your friend, pallie so buy somethin' or get out.
SOLLUX: well you haven't LIIVED untiil you've triied out iice cream 2oup. you ju2t take the melted 2tuff and put iit iin a bowl. for extra flavor you can add iin 2ome warm coke or whatever and make iit a float.
DD: Kid, hands off the goddamn fridge.
SOLLUX: but dd-----------! that was an extended whiine riight there.
SOLLUX: we can all team up! together the 3 of u2 could take the queen'2 riing and de2troy iit! then we can 2et you guy2 up to be the miidniight crew, even though hb ii2 dead!
DD: What?!
SOLLUX: hell, we can all ectobiiologiically rebiirth that guy for all iit matter2.
DD: GET YOUR LITTLE PUNK ASSES OUTTA MY SHOP AND GET TO WORK.
SOLLUX: (hehe by get to work he mean2 s2tealiing the riing 2o he 2upport2 our endeavor!)
CD: Can I keep this hat?
POLICE: STOP!

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POLICE: YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW.
DD: Shit.
SOLLUX: aw damn, cd! ii knew they'd catch u2!
CD: Oh no! These guys have spears! The most efficient of all policing tools.

[Trish]

> Sollux: Attempt to talk this out civil-like.

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SOLLUX: um hii, soldiiers. we can explaiin what happened.
POLICE: Since you lack the funds to pay the court, you must serve out your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.
DD: God damnit they found me. Now the whole force'll be on my tail.
SOLLUX: what're you talkiing about the whole force?
DD: Don't worry about it. Just get yourself outtta here while I keep 'em busy.
SOLLUX: no, how's about we all run out when ii let'm know who's bo22?
SOLLUX: hey club2.
CD: Who?
SOLLUX: make 2ure you at lea2t pay mii2ter droog for the hat later.
SOLLUX: AND YOU COP2 CAN 2UCK MY ENERGY BLA2T!!

> Sollux: Fire your lazar.



HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! !

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> DD: Escape with them. Hurry!









No, your place isn't with them. You'll just throw the cops off their trail.

Show them who the real prey is around here.

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Too bad they won't know it's them.

> Sollux: Become Aradia.



You are now Aradia Hussie in the middle of an INTERROGATION. The police keep pressing you, but you don't want to talk. They say it's what Andrew would want. You bravely say there's no Andrews in here. Suddenly they all take out their ANDREW MASKS and say will you talk now.

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At this point you started to shake the table with such ferocity that they had no choice but to stop the...

Wait...that's not right.

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That happened hours ago. Now it's after school. You don't know where you are or where you're going, but if you had to guess, you'd say you're on public transportation with...

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ANDREW: Aradia, please get off my shoulder. It's bruised.
ARADIA: waaaaaaaaaaugh

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ARADIA: h0wd a pers0n like y0u get bruised
ANDREW: Andrew bruised me.
ARADIA: andrew did what
ANTWO: Oh my gosh, Aradia, we already TOLD you!
ANTWO: Andrew marched into the classroom when you left, like he owned the place or something! Then he beat Andrew up!
ARADIA: s0 wh0 beat wh0?
ANTWO: Gosh! It's like we have to repeat EVERYTHING around her, Andrew!
ARADIA: y0u didn't give me amnesia with y0ur waste 0f mind p0wers did y0u
ANDREW: Oh, no, looks like nothing's especially wrong with her. Just going through an attack.
ANTWO: What a relief, I guess?
ANDREW: Calm down, little, uh, cousin. We'll get you better soon.
ARADIA: *hyperventilating*
ANTWO: We're just taking you to ol' Andrew's house!
ARADIA: 0n0
ANDREW: >:[
ANTWO: 3:J

> Aradia: Receive call from Andrew.



What do you know. Must be calling you up under one of his numerous PSEUDONYMS. He's probably more than a little upset about this morning. You should answer him.

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helpMe [HM] began chatting with superandrewFighter [SF].
HM: hell0
SF: Aradia, it's me, Andrew!
SF: I know it looks like this is Andrew speaking, but really I just stole Andrew's dream phone!
SF: God your typing style is so hollow. Like an MSPA dead guy.
SF: I'm sorry for leaving you. It was thoughtless of me.
HM: but when did y0u ever truly leave
SF: That's the spirit I guess.
SF: When I get out of the game, I'll give Andrew his revenge.
HM: waaaaait
HM: andrew here
HM: andrew there
HM: andrew talking 0ver the ph0ne
HM: my m0therfuckin g0d ive been having an andrew attack ever since i g0t 0n this g0ddamned bus!
HM: HNNNNNNNNNNNNG
SF: all we can do two stop it is let the attack run its course...
SF: take a deep breath now
SF: and breeeeeeeathe

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HM: thank y0u s0 much s0llux
HM: im getting m0re 0f these attacks lately
SF: yeah, andrew's a total bleep-bloop. but i don't want you two keep worrying about me, aradia.
SF: really, it's everyone who's still in reality that we should be worried for.
HM: thats deep br0
HM: i mean it
HM: and y0u kn0w what deep br0
HM: even with whatever y0ure dealing with n0w
HM: y0u w0nt believe what happened at d0c h0liday, t0day
HM: s0meb0dy beat r0se up
SF: who?
HM: uhhhhhh, i dunn0
HM: i wasnt there
HM: the p0lice were t00 busy interr0gating me while it happened
SF: whatever you do, don't trust those idiot police!
HM: i kn0w, i didnt tell them b0-diddly
HM: maybe i will tell y0u the full st0ry when i get all 0f the details in the near future
HM: but i have a funny feeling it has s0mething t0 d0 with h0mestuck and will s0meh0w be useful t0 us s0meday so hang tight
SF: um....okay.
SF: talk two you later. i have some hardcore adventurin' to do.
HM: wait y0ure n0t taking this wh0le deadly scenari0 as a mere game are y0u
SF: how else do i take it? if i take this all seriously i'll just get bogged down.
SF: then the ghosts will start talking two me again and i'll have two throw them back in the trash bin.
SF: anyway, i urge you two catch up with homestuck so you can follow everyone's escapades and maybe help us.
HM: itll be hard but i can pull thr0ugh
helpMe has left the chat.

> Aradia: Change characters.



You are now Dr. Scratch. It took you a while to shake that Handmaid girl off (plus several hundreds of sandwiches and class changes throughout the ages), but now that she appears to be situated and gone for good, you can concentrate on what you set out to do: CONFRONT ANDREW HUSSIE.

> Dr. Scratch: Examine files.



Oh, this is just the ANDREW FOLDER, an extensive record of every wrong you know he did or suspect him of doing to those... Wait, this is another half-assed reference to BE THE SEA DWELLER LOWBLOOD. What the hell are you doing with something like that?!

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Whoops!

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Aw, Scratch, look what you've done! Now all those FILES will be LOST TO THE WINDS OF TIME.

[o] ???



Wait, these papers are all blank, except the first one, which for some reason has children heads and names on it, which you can be, which you HAVE to be because that's how we're doing this part of the story...at the listed time, of course. Scratch sucks.

[Catstorm]

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Why can't I stop drawing this adventure

>Be the pissed-off John at 4:00

[chezrush]

Be the Karkat and Dave at 7:30

[Weather Report]

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Why can't I stop drawing this adventure

Aw hot damn. Sollux is really doing it. He's shooting the Po-Po. And this ain't that humiliating pink crap, this is 3-D.

That version of Sollux is a criminal. He is rated NC-17.

If you're not 17 then you aren't allowed to be here anymore guys. See you later then...

[o] > Be angry John.

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JOHN: rrrraaaaaaaaaaaahh!

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JOHN: fore!

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VRISKA: Y'know John, I thought I didn't give a crap.
VRISKA: Nobody did, really.
VRISKA: About just going to a mini-golf course to declare our love for each other?
VRISKA: ........ Although it's a really pretty golf course.
VRISKA: It's like they got the whole world right in front of us or something?
VRISKA: Sorry, I'm not that good at these kinds of things...

[o] ========>

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VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: I really don't think I can do much for anyone on the romance front, really.
VRISKA: All I got is a creepy sistermom who has spiders on a regular 8asis.
VRISKA: They usually get into all my stuff and it's really terri8le, and I keep telling her, 'Sis get ridda all these spiders they're really GROSS!'
VRISKA: She never told me why.
VRISKA: Okay, I think she said that one time in high school she had a romantic stint with a book called 'Spidermans', but that's really uncomforta8le su8ject matter, right? Heh heh, ew!
VRISKA: I tried to stop her sometimes!
VRISKA: Like when i tried to step on all the spiders........
VRISKA: But there are just SO MANY SPIDERS at my house so it's really hard... so yeah.
VRISKA: That's my life story.
VRISKA: I don't really tell anybody about it since they'd go, 'EEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPIDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZ!!'
VRISKA: 8ut if you're really not okay with it, I'm totally fine. Like, ha ha, ew spiders.
VRISKA: Yep........

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VRISKA: John?
VRISKA: I'm really sorry a8out this sudden revelation that has no dou8t left you speechless!
VRISKA: Oh, I knew I should have told you this at the 8eginning. Now you'll probably leave saying 'GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH' or 'BLOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH' or 'EW SPIDERS'!
VRISKA: ........

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VRISKA: Oh John, are you........
VRISKA: Are you crying?
VRISKA: Aw man, what am I supposed to do in this situation?!?!?!?!?!?!
JOHN: no, it's okay vriska.
JOHN: i'm just really, really *hic* sorry that you had to *sob* live with so many spiders...
JOHN: what're you *ugh wah* gonna do now?
VRISKA: ........
JOHN: *manly crying sounds*
VRISKA: John?
VRISKA: It's okay.
VRISKA: 8ut do you really, actually like me, even though I'm a disgusting spider girl?
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: because you're not disgusting.

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JOHN: you are my super-hot and also really nice and smart and sultry mmm-mmm-good girlfriend. i love you even though you have lots and lots of cool spiders. you are the best spidergirl ever.
VRISKA: Thank you........

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SOMEBODY: HEY A NEW HOMESTUCK UPDATE!
JOHN AND VRISKA: !!!!!!!!

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Oh wow, it's Equius's favorite friend Robotaradiasprite! Boy is she keen.

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VRISKA: Mm, wait, some8ody's coming.
JOHN: that guy who just said that?

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VRISKA: No, some8ody else...
VRISKA: It's...
JOHN: IT'S...

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JOHN: MISTER ZAHHAK!!

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AURTHOUR: Oh hello kids
AURTHOUR: Would you passionate young people happen to know my son?
JOHN: yes sir.
AURTHOUR: I'm trying to see him.
AURTHOUR: Have you seen him?
JOHN: well yes, in our favorite pop culture story HOMESTUCK. but oh man mr zahhak, you're looking real rough!
AURTHOUR: So then you have not seen him physically[/color]
VRISKA: Nah man, we're sorry.
AURTHOUR: Oh
AURTHOUR: Okay
AURTHOUR: But please can you pass these out to your friends

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JOHN: sir i know you're real distraught and stuff but you gotta take it easy!
JOHN: how do you expect to save your son when you can't even save yourself from exhaustion?
VRISKA: Yeah you've 8een at this for like one hour after Equius disappeared until now!
VRISKA: You need these Flints' more than I do. They contain iron.
VRISKA: Just don't throw them in the fire.
VRISKA: They will burn.
AURTHOUR: But do I really need all of them
VRISKA: Yes. You need all of them.
AURTHOUR: All of them
VRISKA: All of them.
AURTHOUR: All of them
VRISKA: You need to take all of them.
AURTHOUR: All of them
VRISKA: You really need to take all of them.
AURTHOUR: Well alright
AURTHOUR: That does make sense
AURTHOUR: I will go home and try to rest a bit now
JOHN: well, when you do get your strength back...
ARTHOUR: YES GO ON
JOHN: i'd say talk to mr hussie about this. he may be able to help you out.
AURTHOUR: That is a great idea
AURTHOUR: You kids have a good se%y time
AURTHOUR: Springtime of youth and such

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VRISKA: John you are real sm8rt!
JOHN: heh heh you too, carrying those flints' along with you just in case!
JOHN: you are a really good person.
VRISKA: }8J

[Trish]

[o] > Be the Karkat and Dave at 7:30.

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DAVE: so
FEFERI: So!
KARKAT: ...So...what?
FEFERI: So...isn't this food GOOD?
DAVE: ...
FEFERI: Mmmmmmmm MM!
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: ..
FEFERI: All I want is for all three of us to G----ET ALONG!
KARKAT: Not happening.
DAVE: see the only way were gonna get along is if we bring in some mad homestucks love or something
KARKAT: Wait. What? Homestuck. Full stop.
DAVE: i shouldnt have said anything
KARKAT: No, no wait. Hear me out.
KARKAT: Homestuck was okay for the first act or three.
DAVE: so now you think its on a down slope
KARKAT: YEAH!! I think you're getting it!

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FEFERI: I...haven't read......Homestuck........
DAVE: oh hey cool
DAVE: so whats your least favorite part then
KARKAT: Let me answer your question with a question: how do you like the portrayal of yourself in the story?
DAVE: its awesome and i love it
KARKAT: See, when I think Dave I think 'ironic idiot', which is hilarious, right?
KARKAT: But whenever I see Mr. Fictional Carcinogen Whatever Troll Vantas, I just see a raging douchebag.
KARKAT: Do you understand, Strider? He must have something against me, because I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
DAVE: andrew has nothing against nobody
KARKAT: YEAH WRONG.
KARKAT: Look, it's just an elaborate dig crafted to ruin children's lives. And by 'children' I mean 'me'.
FEFERI: Psst! Karkat, you don't make sense.
KARKAT: Look deeper into this. It's clear that story Karkat is an inhuman jerk who yells and yells. I don't do that.
KARKAT: But think about THIS: what if, for a half-stepping second, I thought I did?
DAVE: so hes a bad influence you mean
DAVE: you seriously think that
KARKAT: There's nothing non-serious about this.
KARKAT: Imagine: if the world's kids worshipped Beavis and Butthead half as much as they look up to Scooby-Doo.
KARKAT: IT...would be freaking DYSTOPIAN.
KARKAT: And don't think story Karkat is ever going to redeem himself or anything.
KARKAT: If he ever does ONE FUCKING FAVOR it'll just be like some guy saying "you're great" after a million constant grating iterations of "you suck". Seriously, would that make YOU want to do things?
DAVE: yes
KARKAT: You're so soft. Both of you. As in heart soft.

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FEFERI: Hey Daniel Dave, don't you have to US--E THE DANI--EL BATHROOM?!
DAVE: suddenly now that you say that
DAVE: i do
DAVE: brb
DAVE: or as the cool homestuck kids would say
DAVE: sbrb
KARKAT: Well, THAT came out of nowhere!
KARKAT: What are you even trying to DOOO, Fef!? You broke my momentum!
KARKAT: We were having a good chat there!
FEFERI: It looked PR----ETTY one-sided to me.
FEFERI: You always do this, Karkat!
KARKAT: Fiiiiiine, just shut uuuuuup.
FEFERI: Actually., this is a most crucial part of my PLAN that I've been S-ECR-ETLY cooking up -EV-ER since we first got here!
KARKAT: WHAT, SERIOUSLY.
KARKAT: Is this about saving our friends from Homestuck.
FEFERI: Y----ES!!
KARKAT: THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVEN READ HOMESTUCK YOU--
FEFERI: I got distracted by Arlenstuck!
FEFERI: But I've got a hunch, and it's a doozy, so listen good.
FEFERI: You know how Dave's always talking about how he's best buds with Andrew or something, right? He'd probably be able to help us if he wasn't so stupid about it.
FEFERI: WELL!!

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FEFERI: Turns out you shouldn't mix McFoods.
KARKAT: Uh. Huh.
FEFERI: Watch as I crush these Chicken McNugget juices into his burgers. Then I'll switch his Coke with some Grabbin' Grape-flavored Hi-C, and once he takes a sip of that he will immediately want to wipe the taste of it out with McFries.
FEFERI: Combining all four strange chemical types together will supercharge a McFerment in his mouth -- effectively drunkening him up.
FEFERI: And TH--EN he might turn SMART for us!
FEFERI: I learned all of this in Health Club.
KARKAT: That's a TERRIBLE plan! Putting whether it actually would WORK aside, you're trying to SABOTAGE the guy who's been your classmate since grade school.
FEFERI: He's a jerk! Who wouldn't?
KARKAT: 38D
FEFERI: 38D
KARKAT: 38D
FEFERI: 38D
KARKAT: 38D
FEFERI: 38D

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DAVE: yo back i miss much jk
FEFERI: AND YOU'RE THIRSTY-HUNGRY NOW RIGHT?
DAVE: actually yeah
DAVE: you know how to suggest some wicked true shit bro
DAVE: s like you can read my mind baby
DAVE: owm burger
DAVE: srrrp drink
DAVE: wait no ew this isnt right
DAVE: it shouldnt taste this way
FEFERI: McFries?
DAVE: yyyeah
DAVE: owmf
DAVE: wait
DAVE: wait
DAVE: oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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KARKAT: HOLY SHIT!
DAVE: aaaaaaaaaaaah hey neat burgers
FEFERI: Um okay here.

[o] ========>

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DAVE: what are these goddamned hamburgers doing to my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiind

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SUGGESTION PROMPT: Next time, Feferi and Karkat do the big interrobang on Dave. What should they ask him while he's drunk on burgers? Should they get him to do something really stupid? Please write a response in 500 or less characters.

[Catstorm]

> Ask Dave if there is any way to stop Hussie. Also if he can get the kids out of Homestuck.

[Dalmationer]

>order 12 MILLION BEER KEGS.

[chezrush]

Ask him what 48998432802409423 divided by 2389438928928493983243 x 41111 + 2 equals.

[OrangeAipom]

Why the fuck is Hussie writing INCESTUAL FANFICTION about his cousins and why would you support a man who would do that?

Is Hussie planning on running for President?

[Weather Report]

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OA your questions have been duly noted, and we will have the AU Andrew answer you momentarily.

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DAVE: OOOOOOOOH
DAVE: dubes
DAVE: i am like totez wastoids
FEFERI: ----EUR----EKA!!
KARKAT: Oh my god this is gona be great.
KARKAT: Dave tonight is gonna be the worst night of your wasted life.
KARKAT: It'll be like you just crawled out of 'Boo! Haunted House!' with your pants down.
FEFERI: Um what?
KARKAT: Nothing you need to know, except shit's about to get HEINOUSLY ANUS.
FEFERI: )8I
FEFERI: You can't say THAT in church Karkat.
DAVE: uh uhuh what bro
DAVE: youre
DAVE: youre everywhere guys
DAVE: just stop moving
DAVE: whoa where are my hams
DAVE: i feel as if youd like
DAVE: tell me to do something
DAVE: id do it
FEFERI: Just as planned.
KARKAT: Welp then, first order (of business): ORDER TWELVE MILLION BEER KEGS!
FEFERI: But Karkat! That's CRU----EL and R----EALLY W----EIRD! His bank funds will be WIP----ED OUT!
KARKAT: Relax, I just wanna hear'm get chewed out by the beer guys.
KARKAT: You know the beer guy phone number right?
DAVE: butter believe its not margarine kids
DAVE: urp

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FEFERI: Hello?
DAVE: id like 12000000 beer kegs sir or madam
FEFERI: I DON'T HAV----E ANY!
FEFERI: SLAM!
DAVE: sorry dude they aint sellin
KARKAT: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
KARKAT: Ohoho Davey. We are your new god you worthless human scum.
FEFERI: That's BLASPH----EMY!
KARKAT: Tell us everything. Everything you know about how you came to Andrew's slick graspy fingers.
DAVE: kay

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DAVE: my bro was like bros over hos with anbro hussler in college
DAVE: and then i was like a baby dave
DAVE: so we were like in cahoots since i was zero or something
FEFERI: Hm. M-hm...
FEFERI: Then how much do you know about Homestuck? Why's he abducting our friends and putting them in the story-slash-game?
KARKAT: Wait. Wait now. What's this about abductions?
FEFERI: What, you didn't get that?
FEFERI: Like he's been there in the window ----EV----ERY DAY in school, and he disappears when he thinks we're looking at him? And now our friends who are his characters are gone suddenly?
FEFERI: And how everyone in class was talking about how they were in the story?
FEFERI: It just made sense.
DAVE: shes right yknose
KARKAT: Um, wow. That's... stranger than fiction?
FEFERI: I'm smarter than I look!
FEFERI: Twinkle headtouch!
DAVE: that headtouch was the shit lady do it again
FEFERI: No, just tell us what you know honey.
DAVE: okay
DAVE: so how come he was taking the kids
DAVE: its because
DAVE: well like
DAVE: its
DAVE: already happened

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KARKAT: What're you talking about? Who are you, Fred Fuchs?
FEFERI: Fred Fuchs. Seriously?
KARKAT: All I mean is this sounds PRETTY DAMN SUBJECTIVE GUYS.
DAVE: well look
DAVE: he never finished that the bard questers one right
DAVE: but your wrong
DAVE: its not b/c he was lazy
DAVE: its b/c it was too much for the readers to absorb
DAVE: it was some universe timelines theory experiment and he says it workes
DAVE: got all his bards in a row
FEFERI: What do you M----EAN?
DAVE: i mean for those three years he was still writing what happenbd next
FEFERI: I thought in those 3 years he made Whistles the Clown or something?
KARKAT: NO! THAT IS NOT AN MS PAINT ADVENTURE! WE ARE NOT BRINGING THAT INTO THIS.
DAVE: the experiment was a rolling success
DAVE: got all his bardz in a row
FEFERI: This is so interesting! Were running on a breakthrough here guys!
FEFERI: Now tell us what it all means!
DAVE: science
DAVE: like i dont even know
DAVE: something about clowns and pigs
DAVE: real fun shit there
KARKAT: OKAY NOW DUMBO RIDDLE ME THIS WHAT IS FOURTY-EIGHT QUINTILLION NINE HUNDRED NINETY-EIGHT QUADRILLION FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY-TWO BILLION EIGHT HUNDRED TWO MILLION FOUR HUNDRED NINE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE, DIVIDED BY TWO SEXTILLION THREE HUNDRED EIGHTY-NINE QUINTILLION FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY-EIGHT QUADRILLION NINE HUNDRED TWENTY-EIGHT TRILLION NINE HUNDRED TWENTY-EIGHT BILLION FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-THREE MILLION NINE HUNDRED EIGHTY-THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED FORTY-THREE, TIMES FORTY-ONE THOUSAND ONE-HUNDRED ELEVEN, PLUS TWO.
DAVE: its point-eight-four-three
KARKAT: NO YOU ABSOLUTE MORON YOU'RE OFF BY TWO!!
FEFERI: Karkat shut up! We were on a breakthrough!
DAVE: dudas do we got munches here
DAVE: i like
DAVE: i wanna nother burg
DAVE: that means burger
DAVE: can
DAVE: can i
DAVE: oh god im gonna

[o] ========>

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FEFERI: NO!
DAVE: ehhh
FEFERI: We can't get you any drunker! You're just dumb enough to be useful!
FEFERI: Now I want one more thing:
FEFERI: How do we get Equius, Sollux and Nepeta out of this mess?
DAVE: oh
DAVE: isnt it like obbvus
KARKAT: NO IT IS NOT OBBVUS TELL THE LADY WHAT SHE WANTS.
MCDONALDS WORKER: scuse me sir can you keep it down
KARKAT: I am really sorry sir by WE WANT ANSWERS.
MCDONALDS WORKER: i understand sir
DAVE: to get out of the game

[o] ========>

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DAVE: you just gotta beat the quest
DAVE: each single one
FEFERI: Wait... you mean all twelve characters?
DAVE: i guess
DAVE: wow my tummer
DAVE: its like urp tho-up
DAVE: urmp
FEFERI: Dave, are you okay?
DAVE: no more questions blagh
KARKAT: Woah. You want me to take you to the bathroom?
DAVE: cmon gods i told you nmore questions
DAVE: yeah no more questions
DAVE: its throw up or be thrown up right
DAVE: cmon what do durnks sing when theyre drunk babara anne or something
DAVE: bababa bababranne its al right cause im saved by the beeeell
FEFERI: No. Seriously, go to the restroom now Dave. Girl's orders.
DAVE: kay
DAVE: fef wanna come with me so we can make out
FEFERI: No.
FEFERI: But in consolation I can nuzzle your neck while you vomit.
KARKAT: Aw, don't go! Then I'll be all alone! And I thought we were all paying for our OWN foods!
FEFERI: Sorry Karkitty! Maybe if you snap your fingers Terezi'll come out from under the table!
FEFERI: Now c'mon! Let's go! SNAWP!

[o] ========>

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ERIDAN: Looks llike someone's doing business
ERIDAN: DOBIS
KARKAT: Stop making jokes nobody gets, please. Do you have any cash on you?

[o] ========>

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ERIDAN: Sorry
ERIDAN: Eeridan, out
KARKAT: Dammit

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So which of the folders should we see next guys?

[chezrush]

The Tavros Maverick with nothing to lose at 5:00

[OrangeAipom]

hussie don't answer my questions i don't want spoilers bro

[Catstorm]

>Let's rewind and see Feferi at 4:00.

[Trish]

[o] > Be the Tavros Maverick with nothing to lose at 5:00.



You are now Tavros Nitram, and currently STANDING IN LINE so that you can purchase the BIG TICKETS for the big anime con and enact your big SECRET PLAN.

So far, Vriska's been the team mastermind. She's creative, but her plans are malformed and don't seem like they would ever actually work. If you were in charge, you'd just march in there, push everyone out of the way and give Andrew a piece of your mind in a fit of fiery rage. Then you'd be taken away by the guards, of course, but who the fuck cares?

And you've got your costumes pretty much planned out, too...

[o] ========>



Apparently Aradia wants to go as some FAT SQUARE-JAWED MIDDLE-AGED MAN dressed as a PRIEST with an AFRO and SHADES. She's not GARTERBELT. She's just KUROSAWA.

Vriska, unfortunately, is totally set on going as SAILOR MOON. You KNOW she doesn't have enough hair for it.

Kanaya says she has a costume just for such an occasion, but is KEEPING IT A SECRET.

You still have to think about it a little, but you're pretty sure you'll be going as your FAVORITE TOUHOU CHARACTER.

[o] ========>



This line...it's so long. Like how many people even wanna be at this con? How much longer is it gonna freaking take?!

[o] ========>

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TICKET GUY: Sir.
TICKET GUY: Um, sir.
TAVROS: oH, uH, fOUR TICKETS TO THE BIG ANIME CON, iF YOU WOULD,
TICKET GUY: That'll be fourteen dollars.
TAVROS: oH MY FREAKIN' GOD, tHAT'S ACTUALLY CHEAPER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE,
TICKET GUY: There you are, sir. The line to the line to the tickets to the Anime Con is over that way.
TAVROS: wHA,
TAVROS: uHH,
TAVROS: wHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT,
TAVROS: cUUURSE, yOOOOOU, cRUUUUUUUUUEL, fAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE,

[Dalmationer]

>Order 12 million beer kegs to go with your anime.

[Weather Report]

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You cannot order beer kegs because now it is time to be Feferi; I am sure you are really disappointed. But don't worry. I'm sure you can order 12 million beer kegs for yourself.

Be Feferi.



You are Feferi, the co-host of the FIND YOUR OWN LAWN CLUB with your fellow co-host Karkat. This association, originally called the FIND YOUR OWN CLUB CLUB, was started by Karkat in an effort to help children find their special talents and hip places to be. Last year you posed a non-hostile takeover and added your own Hank Hill spin on things, putting an end to your own CLUB-HOPPING DAYS. Every last meeting of the month, Karkat's FOUR DADS bring PIZZA and talk about THEIR LIVES in an INSPIRING WAY. Every other meeting you like to cook up some of your FEFFY'S FAMOUS FLAPJACKS, and if you're feeling dicey, some SPAPEGGY AND MEATBALLS.

Somehow all you do here now is EAT AND TALK. You're pretty sure you're the ONLY MEMBER WHO CARES ABOUT THIS.

Two clubmates are already present: Rose, who types the CLUB TRANSCRIPTS, and Terezi, who BULLIES Karkat.

What will you do?

[o] > Feferi: Place your flapjacks on the table.



Ooh, they look so perfect! Your secret is that you put raspberries in the batter. It's SO GOOD and everybody LOVES THEM! You'd never imagine a meeting without them or pizza and Karkat's dads!

[o] > Eridan: Enter with Erid-ham.



Oooooooh boy.

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FEFERI: Eridan what just what is all that right in your hand. What's it.
ERIDAN: It's my Erid-ham
ERIDAN: Ii thought we decided I wwould bring ham last week
FEFERI: NO! Why would we ----EV----ER decide that?! It's not traditional!
ERIDAN: Sorry Ffef bbut I asked about the ham last time and you said yes so I just ffigured
FEFERI: Eridan. Eridan, Eridan, Eridaniel Tosh Kanaya joke reference. I take my role in this club seriously as the flapjack chick. I think I would remember if I said 'oh okay no flapjacks next time because ham is TOTALLY SLAMMIN''.
ROSE: You did.
FEFERI: Did I really?
ROSE: Yes, last week's meeting. Except you said 'sla-hammin'', which leads me to believe it was a joke. An Eridan joke, if you will.
ERIDAN: He he that's pretty funny!
FEFERI: But, we can't HAV----E both!
ERIDAN: We could I mean I'm just SAIYAN
FEFERI: No. Then everybody would be CONFUS----ED! You don't put HAM on RASPB----ERRY PANCAK----ES. Ew.
FEFERI: And I take this club very, very seriously. I can't just let this happen. You know I respect your cooking, but this is the one place where I can't let this happen.
FEFERI: This is my Hank Hill's lawn, Eridan.
FEFERI: I can't have you diggin' up m'lawn like this I tell ya what.

[o]> Karkat: Intervene.

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KARKAT: HEY HEY HEY HERE NO FIGHTING IN MY CLUB. THIS AIN'T NO FIGHT CLUB.
TEREZI: You dummy you don't T4LK 4bout f1ght club!
KARKAT: SHUT UP YOU'RE DUMB! How's anybody supposed to know about fight club if NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT?! Gosh you are so idiotic! And you smell like a dumb person! Get outta here!
TEREZI: How do you 3xp3ct to b3 4 doctor 1f you c4n't 3v3n solv3 your ONW 1ntr4p3rson4l 1ssu3s? >:]
KARKAT: DUMMY THAT'S A PSYCHIATRIST DOCTOR!!
KARKAT: You two. Over there.
FEFERI: Yes?
ERIDAN: Yyep?
KARKAT: There's a way that we can all solve this democratically and stuff.
KARKAT: We're holding a vote right here on this ugly Hank Hill run my "girlfriend" apparently made for us. Whatever that meant.Stand by Eridan if you want his shitty ham and stand by Feferi if you want her shitty pancakes.
FEFERI: ----EXCUS----E me but can we R----EFRAIN from such imagery? 38(

> Everyone: Rock the vote!

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FEFERI: Wow. This is not what I expected.
ERIDAN: Nnor Ii, darling Feferi...
FEFERI: I'm not your darling right now. We're in contention.
ERIDAN: Oh
KARKAT: Welp, I just figured go ham because even though Feferi was joking last time, I figure we gotta cut that crap out seein' as this is a serious discussion forum and all, and we gotta teach her a lesson.
KARKAT: Even if it does mean eating nasty arid black forest ham in tin foil.
FEFERI: You're just mad you didn't realize I was a girlfriend.
KARKAT: Only sort of...
FEFERI: Aww, well I'm sorry about that, Karkat! I didn't mean to break your heart!
KARKAT: Apology accepted. Hugs?
FEFERI: No, you broke your L----EG! Can't hug a broken leg guy!
KARKAT: Un-fair enough.
TEREZI: W3ll, 1 chos3 th3 4w3som3 s1d3! Th3 k33p1n' 1t r34l s1d3! F3f 1s 4 cold-h34rt3d b1tch to th3 cor3 4nd 1 4s 4 f3llow b1tch gott4 r3sp3ct th4t!
FEFERI: But I'm not a bitch.
ERIDAN: She is a wwoman
TEREZI: Just b1tch3s b31n' b1tch3s y'4ll! *ARM SWOOPS WHAT NOW*
TEREZI: S33 1 c4n r3sp3ct 4 jok3! 4nd w3 don't s33 F3f jok1ng 4ll th4t oft3n, you know? So w3 gott4 t4k3 th1s jok3 s3r1ously you know!
KARKAT: You just love opposing me don't you.
TEREZI: Not 4s much 4s 1 lov3 sh1tty p4nc4k3s!
FEFERI: 38O

> Rose: Get involved.

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KARKAT: 'Kay Rosey babe we got a tie here. We gotta break it. Be the tie-breaker.
TEREZI: Choos3 th3 on3 you w4nt th3 l34st! Th4t w4y nobody w1ns!
ERIDAN: I think they're ttaking the democracy from us Feffy
ROSE: I don't come here to eat. I'm here to record what nonsense and useless trivia goes down in here for future generations. Keep me out of this.
FEFERI: AWW ROOOOOOOOS----E! C'MOOOOOON!
ERIDAN: Choose
FEFERI: CHOOS----E!
ERIDAN: Choose
FEFERI: CHOOS----E!
TEREZI: 1f you don't wh4t w1ll th3 futur3 g3n3r4t1ons th1nk of you?!
ROSE: No dice. Just wait for the next member to enter.

> Aidara: Enter.

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ERIDAN: Who told her wwe wwere hhere
TEREZI: Um n3w g1rl?
TEREZI: Do you w4nt s-som3 h4m? Or p4nc4k3s?
TEREZI: ...
KARKAT: Ignore her. She's probably here to intimidate us. Don't give her the satisfaction.
ERIDAN: I gotta get outta this place

[chezrush]

Eridan> jump out the window.

[Weather Report]

And so the story gets even thicker. I don't know what happened to the 12 million kegs of beer tho.

[o] >Eridan: Jump out the window.



[o] ========>



You falling out the window would be COMIC GOLD. Sadly, a man has to have his standards. You don't want any property damage all over Fef's good club.

[o] ========>

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ROSE: AAAH I HATE YOU!
FEFERI: Sheesh, girl! Calm yo self!
TEREZI: N, w41t!
TEREZI: Th1s could work!
KARKAT: Alright at the count of three let's all just ignore her together alright?
KARKAT: Three.
KARKAT: Now let's keep this thing rolling we just need our actual members in here.

[o] > Kanaya and Gamzee: Enter.

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GAMZEE: Hey everybody! How's it GOIN'?
KANAYA: Let's Get Ready To Find Some Lawns, I Tell Ya What
KARKAT: C'mon get in gear guys ham or pancakes??
GAMZEE: PANCAKES?! OH MY GOSH! I LOVE PANCAKES.
KANAYA: But Gamzee, The Pancakes Is Obviously The Girls Team.
TEREZI: No no K4n4y4 no!
KANAYA: Go Join The Hams Team.
GAMZEE: Okay... seeing as I don't get a CHOICE in the matter... *WINK WINK*
KARKAT: ARGH YOU'RE JUST FUCKING WITH US AREN'T YOU?
KARKAT: Why do you even come here anymore guys?
KANAYA: The Food
GAMZEE: Yeah, pretty much. Plus the conversation.
KANAYA: But Mostly The Food
KARKAT: DGAWR
FEFERI: Everyone, isn't this Eridan and I's thing? Wasn't that the start of this mess?
KANAYA: Just Sayin', All The Big Hams Gotta Go For The Big Ham
KANAYA: Then Pancakes And Panties Y'Get It?
GAMZEE: Guffaw!
ROSE: Pffft!
FEFERI: No that's not even funny.
FEFERI: That's a horrible joke and not the point.
ERIDAN: It was clever
FEFERI: No, no! It was not! This isn't CL----EV----ER at all!
TEREZI: F3f3r1 b3 qu13t just 4 s3cond! W3 gott4 h34r th4t on3 4g41n!
KANAYA: Okay Are You Ready
KANAYA: Big Hams And Big Ham. Pancakes And--
FEFERI: THIS CLUB IS SUPPOS----ED TO B----E SP----ECIAL!
FEFERI: I'm the Disney princess! It's me! And this club is my gat'dang castle, I tell ya what!
FEFERI: It's so hard being a meat and potatoes girl is NO ON----E ----ELS----E TAK----ES IT S----ERIOUSLY!!
KARKAT: WE ARE HAVING HAM SO EVERYONE SHOULD JUST VOTE HAM!
GAMZEE: BUT I WANT PANCAKES!
VRISKA: Heeeeeeeey.
VRISKA: This isn't my house!
TEREZI: G3t outt4 h3r3 Vr1sk4 you don't b3long!
VRISKA: Oh okay. I 8rought Aradia tho.

[o] > Aradia: Enter.

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ARADIA: uh-oh
ARADIA: andrews
ARADIA: anbrews
ARADIA: anroos
ARADIA: andross
ARADIA: ansrews
ARADIA: so many ansrews everywhere
ARADIA: AAAAAAAA
FEFERI: Oh dear GAWD
ERIDAN: Llet's get the heck up outta here
KARKAT: Aradia! Ham or pancakes?!
ARADIA: i dont want what youre sellin anglue

[o] > Feferi and Eridan: Retreat toward Aidara.

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FEFERI: Aw, to the new Aradia-girl? But she's T----ERRIFYING!
ERIDAN: She's right there yy'know
ERIDAN: Maybe she's not as bad as she seems
ERIDAN: Like in the petite feet feminine stap sketch
ERIDAN: A man walks in with lady steps and they think he's a lady
ERIDAN: But in reality he's a man and their conceptions are shattered
ERIDAN: Petite feet, feminine step
ERIDAN: Sounds like a lady when he's walking in the room.
ERIDAN: Now this is what a man sounds like when he walks
ERIDAN: DOO-doodoo-DOO-doodoo-DOO-doodoo-DOO-doodoo
ERIDAN: But this is what that dude sounded like when he walked
FEFERI: Eridan, that's enough, thank you.

[OrangeAipom]

http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/44879

i found a thing on the internet

[Weather Report]

http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/44879

i found a thing on the internet

That story just ain't right, I tell ya what.

[Catstorm]

> Aidara: Explain your presence.

[Weather Report]

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Now we're down to the last choices on the memo list. Tomorrow will be the one you choose tonight. If anybody disagrees with the first poster, you have the right to go down to their house and duel them for the final decision. Only Japanese weapons and special attacks are allowed. Okay, go!!

[o] > Feferi and Eridan: Talk this honey out.

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ERIDAN: Hey hhoney what're ya in for
AIDARA: what faggot??
ERIDAN: *air-smooch* *wink*
AIDARA: uh, excuse me?
ERIDAN: I thought ccompliments make the ladies feel better
ERIDAN: Dr. Steve Bbrule taught me that last trick
FEFERI: Sorry, he's kind of funny in a strange way! I'm F----EF----ERI PI----EX----ES! That's ----ERIDAN AMPORA! What's your name, cool new kid?
ERIDAN: Your horns are beautiful
AIDARA: oh, um, thank you, you sperm-sucking bastard.
FEFERI: H----EY! 38C
AIDARA: erm, sorry, I'm not used to compliments, vag-face.
FEFERI: (8C
AIDARA: ugh! sorry! i'm also used to saying that stuff! i didn't mean to offend.
AIDARA: no, wait, what're you double-dicks even doing, bothering me? sod off and junk! with shit!
ERIDAN: We tthought you looked llonely and decided to cheer you up
ERIDAN: Nnow you can eat that granola bar again
ERIDAN: Yyou have a lovely skin complexion by the wway
AIDARA: r... really?
ERIDAN: Yyeah gray like the vast north
FEFERI: Eridan that doesn't make actual sense! And you're laying it on kinda thick, don't you think?
ERIDAN: What, all I see here is two hunks
ERIDAN: Check pplease
ERIDAN: Hunks as in beautiful girls
FEFERI: /8)
AIDARA: thanks... thank you.
AIDARA: nobody's really ever... complimented me before.
AIDARA: it feels nice.
ERIDAN: Well great I'm gglad
AIDARA: eridan, you aren't as stupid as you look and you look like some sort of fur-covered ass.
ERIDAN: D'aww I don't deserve all that
AIDARA: and feferi, you--
FEFERI: I um don't need any compliments, but it's the thought that counts and I thank you! I recieved it telepathically.
FEFERI: Yyyyyeppaaaah.
ERIDAN: See nnow I told you she was a good 'un
FEFERI: I was really silly for not believing you earlier, huh? Ha ha ha!
ERIDAN: Ha ha ha
FEFERI: Ha ha ha!
ERIDAN: Wa ha ha new kid what's your name
AIDARA: AIDARA.
ERIDAN: Wa ha ha laugh with us Aidara
AIDARA: no. You don't really understand. i'm a terrible, horrible, ugly person. that's all I can ever be.

[o] ========>

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AIDARA: my destiny is to ruin the future of an entire people and then be killed by their last survivor. there's no good thing about me. In fact...
AIDARA: the only reason i'm here is to serve my third master for a few days. that makes me your enemy. seriously, you shouldn't even be bothering with me. Just let me eat my granola bar in this confortable chair, spy on people like a fucking creep, and leave.
FEFERI: Guuuuurl, what'choo talkin' 'bout?
AIDARA: i'm Lord English's handmaid! this has already happened! i can't fight it, it's a stable time loop!
FEFERI: It's your destiny, huh? That's the dumbest thing I've ----EV----ER H----EARD!
FEFERI: Just make your own destiny. Even IF I understood what you were saying, do you HAV----E to die in such a lonely, out-of-left-field nonsense deathy way?
ERIDAN: I think it's called a nnon-sequitur
AIDARA: it doesn't matter what you happen to think on the subject since it's already a goddamn forgone conclusion.
AIDARA: for scratch's sake, i was sent here for a reason.
AIDARA: i'm supposed to--
KARKAT: AUGH MY OTHER LEG!
TEREZI: Oh no!
FEFERI: What the hell?!
AIDARA: the fuck are those vaginal fungi doing over the--

[o] ========>

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KARKAT: PSYCHE! TAKE THIS, SKANK!
TEREZI: 44444H!
AIDARA: FUCK.
ERIDAN: Oh no Aidara's dead
FEFERI: She's not dead.
ERIDAN: But she might as well be ddead
ERIDAN: Look at what we've caused
ERIDAN: All bbecause I decided to wwaltz on in here with my damn ham
GAMZEE: Aradia, NO!
KANAYA: Aaaargh My Dislocated Arrrrrm!
ARADIA: andrew begone the power of christ compels you
ROSE: Oh the humanity!
FEFERI: No. I started this with my stupid pride.
FEFERI: So it's my job to end it here and now.
ERIDAN: FEFFY NO IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.

[o] > Feferi: End this madness.

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FEFERI: ----EV----ERYBODY SHUT UP!!
KARKAT: Ok.
FEFERI: You're all fighting over the food, yes?
KANAYA: Not Most Of Us.
FEFERI: Well here! BAM! Feffy's Famous Flapjacks just got canned in the can. Now let's all eat ham and be M----ERRY!
GAMZEE: Wow, Fef. You would throw out your flapjacks for friendship?!
GAMZEE: That is... so thoughtful...
GAMZEE: Excuse me just a second I got a ham flake in my eye...
ARADIA: and n0w everyb0dys happy besides me

[o] ========>

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ROSE: Aw, Aradia! We all know how rough these Andrew Attacks have been on you, especially now that your brother's gone.
ARADIA: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ROSE: But no more will this trouble you.
ARADIA: really explain andrew
ROSE: Before my mom directed the Agatha Proirot Mystery television series and headed the Houston Stranger newspaper, she was an amateur doctor. She's gotta have something to fix you up!
ARADIA: w0wee

[o] ========>

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TEREZI: 1 c4n com3 w1th you for 3mot1on4l support!
ROSE: Will your dad be alright with you doing that?
TEREZI: Sur3! H3's so bor1ng h3 won't 3v3n not1c3 1'm gon3!
ROSE: Well, okay then.
ARADIA: g0sh thanks antw0
TEREZI: H4h4 1s th4t m3 now?

[o] ========>



Well, you saved the meeting, but at what cost? Now nobody can enjoy THESE babies, honey.

[o] > Eridan: Cheer her up.

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ERIDAN: You know we can eat ham and flapjacks seperately like on ttwo different plates?
FEFERI: Oh! Actually that makes sense!
ERIDAN: Plus tthe trash can looks real clean so just pull them greasy pigs out
FEFERI: You AR----E smart!

[o] > Karkat: Whoops

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KARKAT: Oh. Sorry. I just threw out my week-old sandwich.
KARKAT: Well, more of a moldwich really.
KARKAT: But I'm really sorry. I just thought we were all done with the pancakes.
ERIDAN: Waaaaah!
FEFERI: Waaaaah!

[o] > More characters: Enter!!

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DAMIEN: Heynowy'knowdaggumdaggumy'allit'ssome, pizza, manjus'kickbackn'enjoyguysy'knowwhat'mtalkin''bout .
FEFERI: Boomhauer!
DAMIEN: Y'knowalldaggumwho?
JACK: We brought the pizza, kids!
KANAYA: But Pizza Week Was Last Week.
DEUCY: Ooooh, Karkat! What did you do this time?
KARKAT: Ha ha whoops I told them today was pizza day!
ERIDAN: Now that's ironic right there

[o] > Aidara: Do something terrible.



SUCK MY DICK!

[o] ========>

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TEREZI: Do troll g1rls h4v3 d1cks?
GAMZEE: Somebody ask Nepeta.

[Weather Report]

THANK YOU GUYS FOR 30,000 VIEWS GUYS!

We're still going to do some updates later today, but first, I had to get this thing all finished. I hope it does something for you guys.

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Our next post will be Jade stuff, then Vriska grande finale before we move back onto Equius. Capeesh?

[Trish]

[o] Be Jade at 7:00.

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JADE: waaaaaaaah, i'm grounded now, waaaaaaaaah.

[o] ========>

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PB: i dont think hanks goin to survive dat long tho
WV: well you'll just have to see how the story turns out
PB: no but srsly hanks in troble
BR: I predict that buck strickland has also ascended, and is also going after hank.
PB: sounds legit
WV: i've already made it clear that buck strickland is dead and never going to appear in the story again
WV: ever
PB: riiiiiiiight
PB: brb
peggysbrownBetty has logged off.
BR: Still rooting for buck whatever happens! See you later vagabones.
WV: goodbye
WV: and thank you for supporting my story
buckstRickland has logged off.
appleDarling [AD] has entered #arlenstuck.
AD: yo!
AD: hows the big case coming?
WV: i have not really found anything
AD: shoot! thanks for you effort though!
WV: no problem
AD: you told me yesterday you were moving here! :U
WV: oh i almost forgot again
WV: yes the big move is going on schedule
AD: how could you keep forgetting something like that?
AD: this isn't just small potatoes its your LIFE! 80
WV: that is a mystery
WV: i am here and still unpacking my things almost as we speak
AD: you gotta be more aware, wayland!!!

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AD: anyway, when you arrived i was planning on meeting up with you or something cool like that...
AD: but i got grounded!
WV: when and what for
AD: just a few hours ago for drawing comics.
WV: comics of what
AD: do you really wanna know?
WV: yes because what the heck kind of parents doesn't let their child draw some comics
AD: pr0n :/
WV: why would anyone's parents be angry about that
WV: we all love seafood
AD: ha! no.
AD: it was my two naked troll friends lying on top of each other in a bed.
WV: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WV: you surprised me so hard that i accidentally hit the 'a' key and tapped 'enter'
WV: and i am never sarcastic
WV: why would you ever tell anyone that jade
AD: i know...its despicable.
WV: what were the boys doing in the comic
AD: youre still interested!?
AD: they were just sort of talking!
AD: and staring.
WV: euuuuuuuugh
WV: they are your friends and also real people
AD: ...
WV: i feel like i have seen that comic before though
AD: huh?
AD: ohhh! you must have seen it on the mspa page!
AD: my sollux friends in the story now. i drew that while i was talking to him!
WV: so story jade drew the comic
AD: nooo, no no no.
AD: story jade is gardengnostic, THAT jade is the actual me!
WV: but hold on
WV: trolls dont have the same internet as we do
WV: where are the big wi-fi towers
WV: you cannot talk to a story
AD: i thought we went over this!
AD: what if i told you that time-traveling aradia made a big radio tower linking our world and theirs somehow?
WV: uhhhh
WV: that sounds sort of fake
AD: then let me make this a triple troll chat and show you!

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superstreetFighter [SF] has entered #arlenstuck.
SF: hi, kind of busy running from the law here!
AD: how long have you even been running? we first talked like hours ago!
WV: who are you
WV: the username is familiar but i cannot quite recall
SF: sollux?
SF: jade, what's the point of this??
AD: wayward vagabond, meet sollux hussie. with all your powers combined, maybe we can crack this case!
WV: hello real person sollux
WV: did you really wear 3-d glasses
WV: and do you love your sister
SF: i'm willing two stop everything just two talk with my sister, but not two answer some guy's random trivia!
SF: wait hold on
SF: wayland vagaboney??
WV: that's me
SF: we've talked. remember flannelshirts??
WV: i know what a flannel
WV: oh you mean the username
WV: thank you so very much for telling me all about god tier powers
SF: sure thing wayland.
AD: you know each other, wow, thats excellent!!!
AD: wayland, don't get sidetracked! sollux would really appreciate it if you dropped superstreetfighter a line every now and then.
AD: you know what? think of it as a suggestion box!
AD: yeah! thatd be fun!
AD: we'll both be solluxs 'patron humans'!
SF: that sounds pretty uhhhhhhhh.
WV: thank you so much flannelshirts
WV: i do not know where arlenstuck would be without your assistance
peggysbrownBetty [PB] has joined channel #arlenstuck.
PB: OH MY GODS ITS NEPETA
SF: thanks for the thought jade. bye now.
superstreetFighter has left #arlenstuck.
PB: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
PB: *SHIT*
WV: hello peggysbrownbetty
AD: sorry wayland, but i think i'm done here...
PB: youre name is jade just like jade harley
PB: I JUST LUCKED OUT
AD: sorry bye!
appleDarling has left #arlenstuck.

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NEXT TIME...will be Vriska by default. I guess people can make suggestions for who she could CHAT with in an update soon to come. Also for stuff she can DO in the place even before we even really SEE her there.