EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!(say like kahn))

[OrangeAipom]

> Dad: Wish your head wasn't ten feet long.

[wolftamer9]

So Gamzee's parents are a woman with huge hair and a colossal overbite who may be a troll, and a capricorn. Gamzee, you're just odd.

> Answer whoever it is. (Karkat, apparently.)

Are you sure that's not just his dad, an Eighties metal star?

[OrangeAipom]

Are you sure that's not just his dad, an Eighties metal star?

then the mom...

no that still doesn't make any sense.

[Crowstone]

that's his dad
his mom is a midget who enjoys hiding in dad's hair
that's the pet dog

[Weather Report]

> Gamzee: Explain those parents this instant.



Your mom has a lot of hair, but she's also a professor! She's super-smart. Aparently she works on girl-child stem-cell research because cloning is great. Thanks to her, people will be able to have their very own tiny girls and boys within your lifetime! She is totally pride-worthy.



Your dad works at some company, doing office work. He's really popular, and usually the whole clan goes out to big barbeques, and you get to meet the kids of his friends. They sure love their barbecues, man! Like, every week. You don't like barbecue though. It sickens you now. Sickens you so much. Also you know for a fact that they don't just like him for the rugged good looks. He's a man with class.

> Gamzee: Answer Kanaya, because she is contacting you.



Oh, well you guess you'd better do that next. Seeing as you just finished watching Nazca, winning Parasyte, writing your manga and sending off your webstory.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

terminallyGamzee [TG] has entered #counselingGokester.

TG: Hey Kan! What's this about? You get the new Gamebro?
CG: Yes, I Have The Gamebro, And The Gamegril, But You Know What I'm Here For
TG: Whubba-huh?
CG: When It Comes To Guys Entering The Game I Tend To Have This...
CG: Intuition
TG: Well you got me! :D
CG: Read You Like A Frickin' Book!
TG: But really? Intuituion?
CG: In Addition For Knowing You Want To Do The Manga Hero 'Save-Everybody' Thing
CG: I Was The One-Man Warning System Attempting To Console Nep Before She Made Her Move
TG: What'd SHE do?
CG: Oh I Probably Didn't Prevent Anything
CG: But I Can Try To Stop You
TG: Did you manage to talk to Aradia?
CG: No Because She's Safe With Rose And Terezi In The Woods Where Nobody Could Get To Her!
CG: I Even Went Out And Bought Her A Costume For The Anime Convention Tomorrow, Which You Should Attend Too
TG: But...in the...
CG: Yeeeeeeeeah
CG: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops
CG: But Shit Isn't That Inevitable At This Point
TG: Sorry, but you can't stop me from going out and trying to save the world, thank you.
TG: One-man job. Or one-woman, I don't wanna be stepping on any feminism-toes.

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

CG: Look Before You Do Go Out And Do Anything
CG: Tell Me You Know TVTropes
TG: Is it relevant?
CG: Yes Lets Talk Tropes
CG: There's A Few Things You Should Know Before Leaving, GamGam
CG: Promise Me You Are Not About To Leave In Disgust
TG: Why would I do that?

comicGenius has unbanned s$madKashs$.

MK: yo
TG: WHAAAT!?!?
CG: Yes
CG: I Don't Even Know How I Got Him To Agree To That In The First Place
MK: well you said it would be hilarious
MK: and who am i to go against a fuckin genius like you
MK: fuckin who are you smartacus
TG: Why do I feel like he's DRUNK ON STUPID right now?
MK: augh stop posting capital letters
MK: burger hangover it hurts my eyez geezus
CG: Thanks For Coming
TG: But...but Dave's kind of...
CG: Kind Of A Little Really Funny?
MK: lemme set the record straight
MK: i am not cool with your shitty bum rush plan
TG: Kanaya did you tell him about the plan you thought I had which was later confirmed by me?!
CG: You Sound Just Like Nepeta Right Now
CG: Face It We've Known You For Years
CG: At This Point It's Like "Poor Predictable Rock"
TG: Fair enough... BUT YOU'LL NEVER GUESS MY WEAPON OF CHOICE!!
MK: shitty zabuza sword quiet down gamzz makin my eyes bleedn
TG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! >:I
CG: Shock Value Over, Now It's Trope Time
TG: Oh snapsky!
MK: seriously oh snapsky
TG: :,(
CG: Did You Know, Dear Gamzee, That A Number Of Tropes Revolve Around Young Black Men Such As Yourself?
TG: What's a trope?
CG: It's Just Sort Of A Thing Roll With It GamGam
TG: Ooh!
CG: For Example, You Know How In Every Show There Is Some Black Guy Who Is The White Guy's Best Friend?
CG: That's A Prime Trope Right There
TG: Still don't quite get it.
MK: its like gerald in hey arnold
MK: or skeeter in doug
TG: I get it now!
TG: Wait. Skeeter is teal.
MK: are you kidding me no in doug all the people who are sort of blue are supposed to be the african americans duh
CG: There Are No Black Guys In Doug, It's Just Your Eyes Covered In Stereotypical Film, But That Isn't Important At All
TG: I'm the black best friend to a lot of people. Point being?
CG: No Point To That One, Just An Example, My Black Best Friend
CG: But Anyway These Are All Tropes Commonly Used In Fiction, Such As MSPA
CG: BE AFRAID!
TG: I don't honestly think Andrew is trying to put any "brothers" down.
MK: no ones gonna care k-dawg/g-dawg
MK: in the comic theyre all pasty white or gray
MK: disneys doug: turbo edition
MK: that show was the shit
CG: You're Not Being Funny
MK: but shit the only mexican in our class is tavros
MK: doesnt mean hed be drawn like pablo fucking picasso
MK: and i think terezi is vietnamese or something i dunno
MK: isnt nep scandinamamian
CG: Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up
TG: If ANYONE is the stereotypical black guy, it's Dave!
TG: He raps, he wears cool shades, and did you know he is NOT A NATURAL BLONDE?
CG: I Think Everyone Knew All Of That
CG: I Mean His Giant Eyebrows

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

MK: did i not cover my tracks enough on that last one
CG: God, Your Giant Wormy Eyebrows, You Never Dye Them, It's Obvious And Disgusting!
CG: And Gamzee, You Are The One Most Given To Saying "I'm Black" In Casual Conversation
TG: NOBODY does that.
CG: No But...
TG: Just show me some tropes. I'm gonna DEFY them, just to show you that this is a pointless, pointless conversation...
CG: Let's Start With These Three: Black And Nerdy, Scary Black Man, Angry Black Man
MK: is there a trope that says black guys have to rap
CG: No You Blithering Idiot
MK: but im your blithering idiot
TG: CRAP! I'm an ANIME NERD.
TG: But I'm no Samuel Jackson, so a good 1/3.
CG: Watch Out, You May Be The Bard Of Anger
CG: Bard Of Scares
TG: THAT would be stupid!
MK: no its bard of rage andrew told me
TG: UGH! SPOILERS, DAVE!!
CG: You're Scaring Me, Angry Man
CG: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
TG: Point (not) made...
CG: Okay Next One
CG: Don't Shave, Or Else You Could Be... The Bald Black Leader Guy
TG: Keep it comin'!
CG: Okay If You Styled A Bit You Could Be Afro Asskicker, Your Story Arc Could Devolve Into A Bloody Blaxploitation Or Even Blaxploitation Parody, If You Become A Troll It Would Totally Fit Black Vikings, Or To The Trolls It Would Become An Ironic Black Like Me Moment
CG: I Could Sometimes Call You A Magical Negro, And Dave You Are Actually Pretty Fly For A White Guy
MK: thanx bab
TG: I'm not seeing the other things.
CG: Running Out Over Here
CG: How About Ethnic Scrappy?
TG: A person of an ethnicity who is a scrapper?!
CG: No, Someone Who Is As Unlikable As Scrappy-Doo
TG: WHAT?! But he's funny! 5/10.
CG: Psh
CG: More Like 5 Out of 0
MK: ooooooooooohhhh
MK: watch out we got contention over here
TG: Fine then. I'll make sure I'm less hated than Scrapster.
CG: But Now We Come To The Big One
CG: The Arc D'Triumphe If You Will
TG: That's not what it's called.
CG: Black Guy Dies First
CG: Every Single Time
TG: Well... what if Terezi dies first?
CG: You Don't Get It
CG: Really, I Don't Care What Race You Are, I Just Think If You Go Out And Do This You're Going To Get Yourself Killed!
CG: I Don't Want To Feel Partially Responsible For Not Stopping You, Nor Do I Want You To Be Unable To Live Out The Rest Of Your Days
TG: Not a problem, no sweat, I'll be fine, etc.
CG: No.
CG: Either Come With Vris N' The Gang Or Don't Do Anything At All.
TG: Okay okay geez! I'll stay put.
CG: Good
CG: Now I'll Be Back I Only Brought Dave Because He And Tavros Want To Rap With Someone

comicGenius is away (Aaahahahahaaaaa).

firefireFirefire [FF] has entered #counselingGokester.

TG: Goddamn it it's because I'm black, isn't it!
MK: knew youd say that
FF: hELLO,

[Flairina]

> Gamzee: Be a total liar. This is way too exciting for you to stay put!

[OrangeAipom]

What's Kanaya's chumhandle? Is it counselingGokester or comicGenius?

[Flairina]

What's Kanaya's chumhandle? Is it counselingGokester or comicGenius?

I think counselingGokester is the group/memo they're in, so it's the latter.

[Weather Report]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

We have had this pesterlog in salvo for the past three-so months. I believe deep in my heart that it was worth it. I only gave some imput and made the Gamzee part. All of you, give Trish some applause.

> Gam, Dav, Tav: Rap.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

MK: awww yeah bitchez
MK: we gots us som bloody pb an j over here
MK: wouldnt have minded a lil kanaya salad on the side but hey
MK: pink mutand plood actually and shit my head huuuuurts
TG: KANAYA, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?
FF: cAN I LEAVE NOW?
MK: turn your fucking caps lock off
MK: and no you may not
FF: Or what?
MK: shit thats intimidating
MK: rap or i beat you up tomorrow at the anime con
MK: yes i will buy tickets just to find you and punch you
FF: Aaaaah,
FF: That makes me scared,
FF: Because you'd go to the back of the line behind me just to get a ticket,
MK: is that a scream maggot
MK: no scratch that have you seriously been standing in line for like four hours now or something
FF: Yeah,
FF: Well,
FF: You threaten me again, Like that, And i will punch you into, I guess, Last night,
TG: Dave, put your grudges aside.
TG: You said it. We're gonna do it.
MK: we are going to be making this happen bros
FF: Daniel dave's m-fing rap-off, Round one,
FF: ?
MK: okay so im starting this shit
MK: yall be lookin down on me
MK: cause you don see this crown on me
MK: this shit straight from andrew hussie
MK: match made in fuckin destiny
MK: super homestuck member here
MK: pop that earbud in my ear
MK: homestuck music shed one tear
MK: walk stab walk is liquid fear
MK: lathe a totem sprite a sprite
MK: NANNAS GETTIN REAL CAUSE HOMESTUCKS TIGHT
MK; ok passin the mic now
TG: Wow! AMAZING RAP. 10/10.
MK: no youre not supposed to be complementing anyone
FF: Oh, Then that was horrible,
MK: aaaaagh no just fuckin rap
MK: shut up and rap
FF: That is not even possible,
TG: Tavros, plainly you can NEVER beat him in a rap-off.
TG: (hint: leave while you still can!)
FF: Oh, But now i'm a little pissed,
TG: At me!?
FF: No, Just daniel dave here,
FF: So there's a thing called fire, It's really rad,
FF: Its dangerous power can burn you bad,
FF: But it can burn your food, So the germs aren't in it,
FF: But you can't fight fire 'less you're in it to win it,
FF: Fire's pretty gnarly, But also burning hot,
FF: Who gives a damn about fire safety? I sure do not,
FF: Land of heat and clockwork, I can handle that,
FF: Wind and shade is nothing, I destroyed it with a pat,
FF: Paralysis is nothing, When you know you've won the game,
FF: I'll kick your Egbert-stealing ass and make you weep in shame,
TG: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
MK: that shits not happening like ever
TG: Wow, this is tough...
TG: Okay, okay guys, fine.
TG: I'MMA GONNA DO A RAP.
MK: shit son its gettin real in here
FF: Oh boy, Getting real hot you mean,
FF: He's bringing the heat,
FF: Which he is also packing,
TG: Quiet quiet guys. Lemme focus here...
TG: Drop me a beat, someone.
MK: yo here you go: bam
TG: HOLY CRAP IS THAT AN UNRELEASED HOMESTUCK SONG?!
MK: super members only
MK: youre just a super exception
MK: the big huss hasnt even told me what character or album this sicknasty beat is for
TG: Okay, okay then. I'll just ignore that for now...
TG: Doot, dat, d-doot-doot dat doo doot-doot dat d-doot
FF: Please rap now,
TG: Anime's what makes ME feel really rad,
TG: Seein' Naruto magic just ain't a fad,
TG: Big-eyed babes flippin' all 'cross the screen,
TG: Ones that all the nerds wish could be their queen.
TG: But guys like that don't really matter,
TG: 'Cause Ichigo's sword makes bad bones go splatter,
TG: Luffy keeps doin' that rubber thing,
TG: And Sanji's cookin' for the would-be king!
TG: Weekly magazines just advance the scene
TG: 'Til the die-hard's excitement keeps makin' him scream
TG: Mafiosos school clubs and delin-quents
TG: Are 'nuff t' tell the haters, "Y'all get bent!"
TG: Naruto. One Piece. Dragon Ball. Bleach.
TG: OTP.
FF: Hoo, Lee, Crap,
MK: is that really your rap
MK: is that the kinda rap you wanna tell the grandkids you rapped
TG: Dave stop being a hater.
TG: NOBODY likes a hater.
MK: granpops what was your big rap in the old days
MK: naruto and zelda are really rad
MK: and thats it
MK; granpops f u
MK: then tavross grandkids say well motherfuck least our granpops had the balls to rap about a stupid revenge fantasy
MK: next thing you know they walk up on your grandkids in the ballpark and jump em
FF: Haaaaa,
TG: I dare you to find one person who doesn't like Homestuck who likes the Homestuck rap.
MK: your mom likes the homestuck rap son
MK: now go clean your room son
MK: im your daddy now son
FF: Burned,
FF: Because i am already dave's dad because i apparently did it to his mom before she died or whatever,
MK: dude not funny
FF: Shut up son,
FF: Grandson clean your house,
MK: thats not even
MK: ok its official tavros is failing at the basic concept of humor and my rap is best so i win
TG: Heyyy!
FF: But my rap was so awesome,

comicGenius is back.

CG: Guess What, Tavros Wins
CG: He Is Just A Badass
CG: And I Found His Tasteless Jokes To Be A Hoot
TG: HOLY CRAP!! Were you reffing this whole time!?
CG: Yes

comicGenius is away (Referee).

MK: psssh

comicGenius is back.

CG: No Never Mind
CG: Now Is The Lightning Round
CG: This Is Winner Take All
FF: Was my win, Uhh, For nothing then,
CG: Yes It Was
CG: But It Wasn't Fair Now, Was It?
FF: But it was,
CG: This Place Is Pretty Dave Hostile
CG: Let's Have You And Gam On One Team, Me And Dave On The Other
MK: hell yeah
MK: daniel dave and kanaya tosh
CG: What
CG: So Was That The Whole Reason You Started To Call Yourself "Daniel Dave"
CG: To Appeal To My Comedic Interests Somehow
MK: yes
CG: It Didn't Work
TG: It's PB&J versus Tomato Salad!
MK: i am not a tomato stop it
CG: This Round Is 100% Tag Team Improv
CG: Let Me Start And Show You Boys How It's Done

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

CG: Crank Dat Crank Dat Artichoke
MK: ...no
MK: seriously is that what i have to work with
CG: (Non-Rap In Parentheses Please!)
MK: (this huge ass fucking sigh its so huge you dont even know)
MK: crank dat cause im goin broke
CG: Bitches And Hos, Bitches And Hos
MK: why i keep buyin dem bitches and hos
MK: (ok this must be some sick joke slash suicide mission to get us both massacred by two rhythmless dumbs)
CG: Boonbucks Goin On The Wane
MK: wake up in the pounding rain
CG: There's A Way To Turn This Round
MK: situation solve like sound
CG: Beat Up Some Rich Guy, He's Named Tavros
MK: what about gamzee nothing rhymes with avros
CG: Rhymes With 'Hos' - He Keeps Stealin' Em
MK: what a bastard wanna beat him
CG: Don't Forget Gamzee, Who Is Even Worse
MK: raps so bad i gotta curse
CG: Wealth Hoggers With Moneybags
MK: thinkin im a worthless skag
CG: Fight Fight Fight Fight FIght Fight SKREE
MK: somebody won and the winner is ME
CG: Our Rap Is Done, We Leave This To You
MK: winnings not something that youre gonna do
CG: (...That Line Was Pretty Dire Dave)
MK: (oh for fucks sake kan)

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TG: Rise! My burning fighting spirit!
FF: Vanquish all my foes today,
TG: Launch a thousand burns a minute!
FF: Sear off every bang that strays,
TG: Name me the true Turntech Godhead!
FF: And me after sacred fires,
TG: Give me shonen magic powers!
FF: Let me light dave's funeral pyres,
TG: Cursed vampires in stone masks,
FF: Dragon beasts with burning blasts,
TG: None can match our peerless show,
FF: Of unadulterated thought and flow!
TG: BAKA AND TEST! Summon the beasts!
FF: You are no different! You cannot compete!
TG: By the North Star, our powers are wed...
FF: I light the match,
TG: BUT YOU...
FF: Are already,,,
TG: DEAD.
CG: Woah! You Got Me Hot Under The Collar
CG: If You Know What I Mean
FF: Uh, Ew,
MK: boooo
MK: seriously can you guys not rap about flames or books or some shit like that
CG: No, I Am The Judge Dave
CG: I Have To Deliberate Though
TG: I can wait! >:D
FF: Wait, That's not fair, She's on a team,
FF: Don't we have, Uh, A neutral party or something,
CG: Um...No I'm Sorry
FF: Damnit,

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

twinArmagandrews [TA] entered #counselingGokester.

MK: so who invited this douchebag
CG: Seriously It Was Dave
MK; really it wasnt so dont accuse me alright
TG: Sollux!? Be our ref!
FF: Uhhhh,
FF: Why do you keep changing your name, Anyway?
TA: 2ure, ii'll ref, but not before ii serve y'all biptches up
CG: I Don't Condone This But Sweet
CG: Hit Us With A Big Beat
TA: my name ii2 2ollux, my liife ii2 paiin
TA: voiice2 echo iin my braiin
TA: when my miind speak2, who2e choiice ii2 who2e
TA: and whiich path can ii truly choo2e
TA: a 2ii2ter, burden off my back
TA: a home, a 2chool, a 2talkiing hack
TA: my thought2 are gone but my tether2 are free
TA: you can't take what he'2 giiven me
TA: leave me to roam thii2 sulfur der2e
TA: and 2ojourn on, for better or wor2e
TA: or we may be, beneath our 2hade2
TA: an a2e of heart2 and a two of 2pade2
TA: all of you 2uck and ii'm leaving

twinArmagandrews has left the chat channel.

MK: okay what the fuck
MK: sollux get back in here
FF: Bye, Sollux,
CG: I'm Calling Him Right Now
CG: Not Responding
TG: Dave, go read Homestuck and send me the most recent page with Sollux in it.
MK: whats that
MK: i thought you were too cool to read an english webcomic
TG: I'm still not a regular reader!
MK: oh really now
MK: did you know
MK: that every single homestuck page-linking e-mail that john and i sent to you came with a receipt
MK: so that when you opened them we got instant notification
MK: and through that we discovered that you have read every single page in the story
TG: Just because I clicked them doesn't mean I read them! :I
CG: Ummmm It Sort Of Does
FF: Well, This chat got, Uhh, I wanna say, Haunted, Real fast,
FF: I think i will try never messaging sollux again,

firefireFirefire [FF] has left the chat channel.

MK: yeah the subject used to be sollux right guys
MK: didnt even do a good reffing job
MK: what a bastardly motherfucker
CG: You Still Wanna Bum Rush Into The Game Gamzee
TG: Well, I can't stop now.
TG: And it's kind of inevitable, I think.
TG: So, better to give it all I've got while I still can, right?
CG: Yeah...
CG: But I Wish We Could All Go To Anime Con Together
CG: Aradia Included
TG: Next year!
CG: I Am Writhing With Anticipation

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

MK: well gamzee i been tellin you dude you cant stop him for doing something he hasnt done
TG: Does that sentence even make sense to YOU?
MK: well
MK: thats not the point here
MK: augh my head hurts like its tryin to conflict me or somesuchthing
MK: hold on wasnt that melancholy sollux just a transparent andrew
MK; not his creepy double andrew cousin sollux
TG: Another person trying to psyche me out of my mission!?
MK: whod call you an ace of hearts
MK: and where are your shades gamz
MK: WHERE ARE YOUR SHADES
TG: Aah! :C
MK: fuck didnt the big man used to be my boss
MK: he used to be the coolest bro
MK: but i cant even
MK: he has been disappointing me tonight
CG: Please Clarify What Do You Mean
MK: think i have to sleep on this sorry

s$madKash$s has logged off.

TG: Weird. But of course that means I HAVE to go fight him.
TG: So long for now. Can't talk all night. I will pocket my phone though.
CG: Very Well
CG: My Counseling Efforts COMPLETELY Failed But Nonetheless I Am Satistfied
CG: You Are Ejected From The Counselor's Office.
TG: >:D !!

terminallyGamzee has been banned from #counselingGokester.

Yeah. You sure told THEM some stuff about your super-secret plan. And now you're thinking you did the right thing in telling it! No, wait, what's that?!

> Gamzee: State something we will see in front of you.



SOME FREAKAZOID has just thrown an EXPRESSION OF LOVE THROUGH your WINDOW!!

[wolftamer9]

> Do you already know who it is? Because if you don't, there's only one way to catch them, and you'll have to be quick or they'll get away- Look's like you're gonna have to juuuuump!
> Not really, you'll get cut up on all the broken glass. Look out the window and try to get a glimpse, and then examine the rock.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I don't know why I chose that of all things.

[OrangeAipom]

godhead doesn't rhyme with powers

[Weather Report]

godhead doesn't rhyme with powers

We call that the ABABCDEDFFGGHHIJKI rhyme scheme.

[Crowstone]

We call that the ABABCDEDFFGGHHIJKI rhyme scheme.

godhead rhymes with dead at least
>devour that heartshaped mouldy sandwich yes and look out the wondow

[Weather Report]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

godhead rhymes with dead at least
>devour that heartshaped mouldy sandwich yes and look out the wondow

*in imposing large jerk guy voice* SHUTUP POETRY IS DUMB ANYWAYS THE ONLY GOOD POET IS EDGAR LEE MASTERS SO GET OUT GOSH ITS SO HARD TO SPEAK SO SERIOUSLY

*in non-imposing jerk guy voice* Somebody kick that imposing large jerk guy's ass for me. Crowstone, I'll leave it to you with this crowbar. Good luck. Rhymeremembering is such hard work for a guy like meh...

> Gamzee: State the usual suspects.



Who would be so BOMBASTIC as to obliquely announce their feelings for you by throwing a HEFTY ROCK with no note attached through your bedroom window, possibly knocking you in the head and killing you in the process? Could it be...Equius? Eh why'd you think of that.

Hey, a note came in! Better read that!

> Gamzee: Okay.



Oh hey Eiken. That's a good show. Woah now what's on the back?

> Gamzee: Go outside, but not through the window. That shit's SHARP.



HOLY DRAGON BALLS, WHAT THE FLAMING SOUL SOCIETY IS ALL THIS?!?!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

dammit gamzee i realized something today and it was that i damn gotta tell you how i feel ya damn boy! i damn love you! i thought that if i ever told you that you would say "no" but, damn, i was walking to the damn drug store to pick up some damn cough syrup when i saw your house and i looked at you in your room from the roof like i always do when i go to the drug store. i felt bad bfore but now i kno you're in a lotta damn danger, you damn guy. so look damnit. i have to get this off my chest here. i love you so much i wanna cry about it. i want you to come back from wtvr you're doing and make out with me and get married the 1st day of high school, dammit. i want three kids, two damn girls and a damn boy. you can name them bc i'll probably call them "damny' or 'damngirl'. then we should live in a white house with tmtoes growin around it and have some damn fat dog runnin' around for the kids and me but i'll name that one. or if you like damn cats, well dammit, i'll have to deal with that but i'll love whatever you choose bc you're gamzee, dammit! and you'll accept that too bc i know you'll fall in love for me too at some point a damn girl can dream rite aheheheh. i can't cook and stuff damn but i'll learn how since all the wives have to cook, dammit? or no i can just reheat those frozen meals things. we can just eat those until i learn how to make a damn turkey. i just hope you'll like 'em "janey-style" heh heh. now hold your damn horses for this next part cuz it's a real damn doozy-bot, ready? now i'm absolutely sure that jake roxy and dirk and maybe the damn shades all like lust after me when i'm not looking, but i'm not gonna cheat on you since that'd be damn immoral and stuff, and i wanna tell you there's nothing between us besides being the damn bad kids and we do damn bad stuff, and also i used to do stuff with tavros but i don't anymore and it wasn't like this either! this is pure. this is pure damn maiden love and i want 0 misunderstandings here. can't have your favorite loveydovey anime plots coming to life, hoo hoo hoo! also have you ever loved another? i mean i know you hang out with that damn kanaya girl, and i see how you look at that damn terezi girl, but i won't blame you for it, but i'll hate it dammit, but that's okay since you didn't know you love me yet! they don't matter anymore, right? right? i guess once in a while you could play around with other girls, you're a damn man and you got your damn urges and i can't damn make you happy i'm sure of that and oh my damn-thing i'm painting the side of the damn house and i'm sure i've been damn creepy for the past ten minutes it takes to read all this and i'm sorry i'll clean it up later, oh, oh my gosh-almighty i just realized why i ended up writing all this damn crap -> next side

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

i get it now. i wrote all this just because i want to go out with gamzee. no, no, what the damn was all this supposed to do?! who'd go out with a damn creepo who even does this?! goooooooooooooooood daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn! i get it now! i get it now i'm just some damn lusty bitch just tryin' to get a damn guy since she doesn't wanna be alone or some sappy shit! it's me! it's just me! it's all in my damn head! i'm just a human putting herself up on a damn pedastal, but it's really deep in the damn earth in a damn pit and my entire goal in life has been just some guy! who would respect a woman like that? howm i supposed to fulfill my damn dreams like--DAMN! i just realized i don't got no dreams! my mind is a mess and i can't sort it out! i have no self-esteem! all i can do is bake stuff nobody wants to eat because I BAKED IT! someone please kill me right now! i'm so embarrassed i wanna get killed! i got too many damn ulterior motives! that ain't normal! i ain't normal! i'm just a groper! i don't know what that is but it sounds bad! and it's me, it's me! there's still time though! i can still go out and start a gang war and end the earth! damn crips and damn bloods and damn mafia and damn yakuzakis or whatever they are i don't know but you know! just end it all! end it all right now! all i do is call things 'damn' and acting all non-damn, and yet here i am! i'm pathetic! i'm a piece of damn poop! i don't even have a speck of self-control why am i still writing?! do i really want to just be bad, or do i want to make everyone else do whatever i want them to? do i want to make the world into my image? do i want to force a random boy to fall for me? yes, dammit, yes and i hate it! i wanna die! it's so embarrassing! someone please just pull the trigger right now!

ok new paragraph um, there was another thing i meant to say, and i remember it now. so you want to go out and kill that damn andrew hussie? well, dammit, the bad kids can't get involved in that damn mess so i can't fight with you, but i got something for you -> inside the kitchen

> Gamzee: Go inside the kitchen?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

so get this, i actually got a damn samurai sword! it was just in some guy's hands at some fair last year and so i beat him up and took it. it's damn sharp so be careful. you can use it like all your damn anime kids and cut that damn andrew up and stop him from being creepy forev

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GAMZEE: Damnit, Janey Crocker!
JANEY: dammit!

[OrangeAipom]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

[Crowstone]

damn
that's a lot of damn words

[Trish]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.





Parents just don't understand.

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GAMZEE: Well, now that I know my MOM'S not going to get rid of you...WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCK ARE YOU DOING VANDALIZING MY HOUSE!?!?
JANEY: damniny damny damnit! i was damn hoping i wouldn't get damned caught like this.
JANEY: no hard feelings damnzee?
GAMZEE: Actually a LOT of hard feelings!
JANEY: i'm a BAD kid, damnit! vandalizing's ma deal.
GAMZEE: Guess you can't argue with that!
JANEY: maybe when you come back from hell, you can be a bad kid too damnit! that'd be superdamnsweet goddamnit
GAMZEE: No, that's against my morals.
GAMZEE: Literally everything else aside, what's that about the samurai sword?
JANEY: oh that thing
JANEY: the one i got from some guy at the japanese cultural festival last year
JANEY: i've been saving it all these years, just for you.
JANEY: damnit...these damned tears in my goddamn eyes JUST DAMN TAKE DAMN IT DAMN!!

========>

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GAMZEE: WOAH! IT'S JUST LIKE THE ONE OWNED BY RORONOA ZORO WHO IS A MAJOR CHARACTER IN ONE PIECE!!
JANEY: yeah, i got it from some samurai-lookin chump
GAMZEE: I was at that festival. HOW did I even MISS this!?
JANEY: oh hey, damn phone's vibradamntingdamn.

Janey is checking her phone.

JANEY: JAKE'S CALLING ME?!
JANEY: GODDAMNIT TO DAMN!!
JANEY: gotta damn go deal with my damn damning kismesis
GAMZEE: Saying "damn" to Jake? I thought all you bad kids were COOL with each other.
JANEY: psh! you have us all wrong, damnit! us bad kids are a straaaange damn breed.
GAMZEE: You know, for a bad kid, you're not all that bad!
GAMZEE: It's as if all you ever wanted...WAS LOVE.
GAMZEE: Oh, and you're paying for the damages to my house!
JANEY: see you on mspa, ya damned doofus! >:B

> Janey: Skate away.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

JANEY: hoo hoo HOOOOOOOOOO.....

What a golden-hearted jerk. Boy, you sure do wonder if ALL of the bad kids have their own good sides and hidden depths to them.



Oh.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GAMOMZEE: wHo Is ThIs MoThErFlIpPeR wHo JuSt CrAsHeD iNtO mY tEsT tUbEs?
GAMOMZEE: GaGaGaGaAaAaAaMmZeEeEeEe!1!1?/?/
GAMZEE: IT WASN'T ME, DAMNIT!!
GAMOMZEE: YoU cLeAn ThIs MeSs AnD mYsTeRiOuS sPiNsTeR dAmE uP tHiS iNsTaNt! aU!
JANEY: *sobs* i got a sprained kneecap!
MAKPAPRA: you listen to your mother gamzee

> Nepeta and Kanaya: Be Terezi.





After some failed off-screen guessing, you are now Terezi Pyrope, for the first time in this story ever! OH MY GOODNESS GOLLY AND GOSH WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

SNAFFY: Alright ya wee scallywags, drop ye weapons b'fore I send ye tae the slaemmer!
TEREZI: C4n you just l1k3 stop us1ng th3s3 stup1d f4k3 acc3nts??? Th3y 4r3 g3tt1ng 3xtr3m13r by th3 s3cond! Just t4lk norm4l 4lr34dy!
SNAFFY: Hush, yae ootlaw, and let me take your wee lassie Aradia to the guvnuh's house!
ROSE: We're not just going to abandon Aradia so she can get shoved in Andrew Hussie's horrible interspacial fridge!
TEREZI: Y34H!! W41t, w3'r3 s3r1ously t4k1ng on th3 cops 4nd th3 only w34pon 1'v3 got 1s 4 c4t's corps3? 3:[
ROSE: Put that down!
ARADIA: new outfit
ARADIA: NEW BURNING FIGHTING SPIRIT
ARADIA: i can take you cops on with my FISTS

> Rad, Rez, Ros, Ffy, Other Police Guys: Commence Combat.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Music used in this update is by some guy who goes by Virt. He did the music in some actual video games like Shantae, and it's pretty good, so check out his bandcamp page, kids~!

[OrangeAipom]

gamzee don't hold a sword by the blade that's dumb

> DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

[Weather Report]

gamzee don't hold a sword by the blade that's dumb

> DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Don't worry, he's holding it by the scabbard, silly!

Also Terezi's dad is unable to help at this moment.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

In addition all commands pertaining to Gamzee yelling dad will be met with "you go listen to your mother gamzee" but Trish didn't want me to say that SHH SECRET COMMAND

[Weather Report]

> Aradia: Start this thing off with a bang.



You cannot do that because you're already in handcuffs. Just because you believe in yourself doesn't make you punch good, you guess.

> Rose: Throw the book at somebody.



You heft the meaty tome Finward! Eat twenty-two thousand pages of Grover, BITCH! You collect SEVENTY-TWO SHARK-LIKE TEETH. Biscuits catches the book on the rebound!

> Biscuits: Use this heavy-duty-weapon to turn the tide of the fight.





Unluckily for you, this story is really interesting. Your attentions have been stolen for approximately the next EIGHTEEN HOURS.

> Terezi: Go help Aradia.



Hey, these chumps wanna leave through the door? Nutzoids to that, homes. Nobody's gettin' past YOUR defensive maneuver.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TEREZI: H3y boys 1n blu3! L3t th4t g1rl alon3, h4h4h4h4h4!
POLICEMAN 2: S, s, s, sorry lil' girl. We gotta, go, take this girl, to the station. Governor's orders.
POLICEMAN 9: Gotta listen to th' big man in charge. That's how th' world works, kid. Jus' let 'er go an' run 'long.
ARADIA: governor
ARADIA: andrew
ARADIA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
TEREZI: Th4t do3s 1t! You just m4d3 4 l1ttl3 g1rl cry!
TEREZI: 3v3n 1f th3 h34v3ns forg1v3 you, 1 w1ll not!

> Terezi: Wave the cat at somebody.



With your dead cat weapon, there is nobody you can't disgust! Those police jerks would scream if they weren't afraid of inhaling the cat dust! Things are looking up for the Terezi/Jaspers fandom!

[Flairina]

Well, this is funny/SILLY. XD (Couldn't give you commands earlier as I have no power right now.)

I don't see why you need commands at the moment, this is going pretty well right now! Nope, that's totally not an excuse for my having any ideas for commands right now! ^^;

[Weather Report]

Well, this is funny/SILLY. XD (Couldn't give you commands earlier as I have no power right now.)

I don't see why you need commands at the moment, this is going pretty well right now! Nope, that's totally not an excuse for my having any ideas for commands right now! ^^;

Well, if you had anything insanely funny or creative that we can't pass up in mind, we'd love to hear it, and at most anytimes at that! Right now, we're almost in that mode where we're writing by the seat of our pants and trying to make it up without planning ahead since this was the path where we went "okay we know the start and we know the end let's make this work?" If anyone has anything to add in, it would be invaluable at this stage!

[wolftamer9]

> Rose: Sneak the key out of Biscuits' pocket. Once the handcuffs are unlocked, spoil the ending to the book just to make him mad.

>Jaspers: Level 55 Taxidermitech: Testa-fy!

[Crowstone]

Well, this is funny/SILLY. XD (Couldn't give you commands earlier as I have no power right now.)

I don't see why you need commands at the moment, this is going pretty well right now! Nope, that's totally not an excuse for my having any ideas for commands right now! ^^;

whoo me too

>Jaspers: spit out stale candy stuffing with each hit

[Weather Report]

Sorry, again no update tonight. Today I biked for 30 miles and got way too exhausted to draw. But stuff's been written, and we have a few pictures, so we'll try to do it early tomorrow.