EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (SEX SEX SEX)

[Crowstone]

>Rose: Tackle all the policemen over like dominoes! then we can escape!

[Weather Report]

Alright, so Equiquest and college life are really conflicting now in the way of 'I'm not happy with the people here so I'm tired', so we're thinking of putting EQ on ACTUAL hiatus now until August 4th or so, when I'm all done and we're together again?? I'm really sorry, but I'm going to keep writing and Trish is going to keep drawing, and vice-versa. We'll come back early next month with some BIG FAT POSTS that'll hopefully wrap up most of the Rose and Sollux storylines, drawing us to the close of the Nepeta part. I promise this! We'll be doing so much writing and sharpening that I'll throw up!! And if we happen to update and you see this topic rise from the dead with new material on it, check it out! It's just us!

SO I GUESS IT REALLY IS... HIATUSTU*reference killed on arrival*

[Flairina]

That's okay, given how long this comic has gone without stopping, perhaps it even needs a bit of a break. Have a nice time until then!

[Crowstone]

Yes yes good luck! We'll be eagerly awaiting the next more parts!

[Weather Report]

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Alright! Let's see if we can do an update a week through August 4th! YOSH!!

> Policemen: Use your signature moves!!

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POLICEMAN 2: T T TRICK CUFFS!
POLICEMAN 6: Samehada shark skin!
POLICEMAN 9: Black gaze of th' overlord!
POLICEMAN 13: MY STOOOOOVE!

> Aradia: Don't forget: You're strong now.



That's right. You remember. You ate the damn leaves, so...

> Aradia: Now pull a one-liner!

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ARADIA: now I'VE got your damn power
ROSE: Daaaaaaaaaamn!
TEREZI: D444444444MN, D4UGHT3R!
TEREZI: SOM3ON3 B3 B4LL1N' UP 1N H3R3.
ARADIA: please stop talking terezi
TEREZI: ONC3 TH1S TR41N G3TS ROLL1NG 1T WON'T STOP FOR TH3 WORLD!! L3T'S G3T TH3S3 V1LL41NS ON TH3 P41N TR41N 4ND
ARADIA: listen to me terezi
ARADIA: look into my eyes
ARADIA: stop.
TEREZI: 1 und3rst4nd.
TEREZI: 1'm sorry m4'4m.
TEREZI: Don't hurt m3 pl34s3.

> Snaffy: What? You're still here? And your phone conversation is over?

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SNAFFY: Aye.
SNAFFY: I shore do love'r but the wee poor lassie can't tell Houston from a goosetown.
SNAFFY: Heh, Texas humour.
TEREZI: H4H4H4H4 OH MY GOSH, YOU C4N'T 3V3N JOK3 R1GHT SO YOU DO YOU 3XP3CT TO B34T US UP!???!?!?!?
SNAFFY: 'Ave ye fergotten that I'm holding a wee laser machine gun ya wee lassie?
ARADIA: yeah terezi
ROSE: YEAH, GENIUS, THANK YOU.
TEREZI: But 1 w4s l34d to b3l13v3 th4t you us3 4 m4ch1n3 gun! Wh4t, w4s 1 NOT suppos3d to 4sk?

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Hot-burnin' damn, kids! She wasn't dead at all! I don't know whether to clap or to yawn!

> Rose: Inquire about this.

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ROSE: Vriska?! You're okay!
ARADIA: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
TEREZI: Oh my gosh Vr1sk4 how d4r3 you m4k3 us suppos3 th4t you d13 4nd th3n not follow through 4ll 1n th3 sp4c3 of two m1nut3s!
VRISKA: Ah ah ah let go!
ARADIA: no
ROSE: We were sure you'd been blown up in the explosion, for obvious reasons.
ROSE: Was there, say, a hidey hole you used to escape the blast? An extra life, maybe?
VRISKA: Nope. Just lots and lots of brooms. Guess they 8locked me?
TEREZI: Y34h r1ght >:I
VRISKA: They have lots of 8ristles ::::)
TEREZI: 4lr1ght th3n. On3 l4st qu3st1on...
TEREZI: D1D YOU M4K3 1T?!?!?!?! >:] >:] >:]
VRISKA: ........
VRISKA: I...don't want to talk about it.
ARADIA: vriska no

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ARADIA: never hug me again
ARADIA: not in your life im sorry
ROSE: AW COME ON NOW. IN MY HOUSE? IN MINE?!
TEREZI: No mor3 words from m3 4r3 n3c3ss4ry!
VRISKA: We are not talking a8out this. This isn't even a conversation.
VRISKA: There was an explosion!
VRISKA: I don't wanna talk a8out it!
ROSE: You're the one who wants to talk!
SNAFFY: Fer the love o' baloney wee lassie, what are ye now? Thirteen?

> Vriska: I SAID



> I DON'T WANNA



> TALK ABOUT IIIIT!!

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ARADIA: vriska no
ARADIA: nooooooooo
VRISKA: Oh, it's just an explosion! Don't worry, THIS spider girl's gonna hold off Snaffy! Just try to escape the house!
TEREZI: VR1SK4 YOU'R3 4 B4D4SS 4G41N!!!! !!! !
VRISKA: Sure, okay!
SNAFFY: Good gosh almighty this be a long burst! Hurry it up already, ya wee explosion!
ROSE: Wait, Vriska! Even though you're *still* exploding!
ROSE: I'm sorry I've been angry with you!
ROSE: Thank you for helping us.

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VRISKA: Okay sure whatever!

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ROSE: Okay now let's get our asses out of here before the Felt catches up or we get caught in that explosion sitting right over there.
TEREZI: Wh4t, you don't l1k3 pr3tty 3xplos1ons?
ARADIA: why did vriska even come

> Rose: Get these kids outta here.



Of course. They're all close behind, you know you you know what you're doing, no time for jokes or accidents. Wait, Vriska. I apologize. But all you need to focus on it escape, since like Dave says, 'shit hits the fan drop it like its hot drop it like its hot drop it like its hot i think m-j said that' even though it's actually a load of bull. Hey, no! Wait! Terezi, what do you think you're doing? Think that's cute? You can't do that. Or Rose is going to scream. Which is highly inadvisable. You're going to do it anyways, aren't you.

> Terezi: Weren't we supposed to have been you this whole time?







Y3S >:[

But it's not like anyone cares about that subject anymore. For now, you find yourself in the room of LELACHE LALONDE, Rose's LOVING, SLEEPY and COMPASSIONATE MOTHER. Hey, why are there two beds in here? Rose still sleep next to her mommy or something? Because that would be kind of funny! Haw haw haw!

...Okay but seriously, you need to think of a decent plan before you confront any remaining coppers. Maybe the lovely Ms. Lalonde has some tools you can use-

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Woah. Ms. Lalonde has a thing for Dave's brother? Why else would she have that photograph over there?

Woah. WoAh. WoOOaoAOHAoahOHAOahOAHOAHoAHaoh YYOOOOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

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ROOOOOOOOOOS3! OHM1GOSHH3Y ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS3! YOUR MOTH3R 1S DO1N' 1T W1TH YOUR FR13ND'S BROTH3R D1D YOU KNOOOW TH44444444T????

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ROSE: WHAT WAS THAT? I REALLY CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM HERE TEREZI! SHUT UP IF IT'S NOT IMPORTANT AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
TEREZI: WH44444T? 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG TH4T YOU D1DN'T KNOW TH4T 4ND YOU W4NT3D PROOOOOOOOF?
ROSE: WHATEVER YOU'RE SAYING, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL, SO JUST QUIT IF YOU DON'T MIND.
TEREZI: PROOF YOU S4Y!? OK4444444444Y!
ROSE: That's the talk people that get shot by evil policemen make.

> Terezi: Get the goods.



Wow! Look at all these SAUCY photographs which will no doubt prove the dubious relationship of the 'mother' and the 'bro'! You're plowing through them too fast to actually accurately check their contents, but from the size and texture of the blurs whizzing past your eyes, shit looks legit to you.

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TEREZI: W4TCH OUT ROS3, TH3Y'R3 FLY1N' DOWN TO 34RTH L1K3 S3XY CONTROV3RS14L M3T3ORS!
ROSE: WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT MY MOM'S SUPPOSED "SEX LIFE" SO PLEASE HURRY UP AND GET THAT SWEET TUSH OUTTA HERE!
TEREZI: Uh...YOU'R3 W3LCOOOOOOM3!!

> Rose: Catch!



You got it, you got it- SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sometimes you wonder exactly what goes through that Pyropian Rez's mind.

> Rose: Answer the phone.



Nobody's calling yo--oh. Of course it would happen now.

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iamYourson [IY] began talking to roseLalonded [RL] on the phone.
RL: Hello? I don't know this number but I'm in a rush.
IY: HeY RoSe, YeaH i KNoW You'Re STuPiD SiNCe, WeLL, You LiVe HeRe aS oPPoSeD To a SMaRTeR PLaCe, BuT DoN'T WoRRY aBouT YouR aRaDia FRieND aNYMoRe. eVeRYTHiNG iS GoNNa Be HaNDLeD iN a WaY You CouLD CaLL 'GooD', 'FiNE' oR 'LiCKeDY-SPLiT' (GoD, WHo CaME uP WiTH YouR TeRRiBLe SLaNG), HeR BeiNG THe uSeLeSS FooLiSHLY FooLY FooL SHe iS.
RL: Who is this. I'd have remembered somebody this obnoxious.
IY: oF CouRSE You DoN'T ReMeMBeR Me... BeCauSe We HaVeN'T MeT YeT.
RL: Obviously.
IY: iN THe FuTuRe.
RL: Obviously.
IY: MoRe LiKe 'oBLiViouSLY' You STuCK-uP LiTTLe... Hoooooooo, WaS aBouT To LoSe MY TeMPeR THeRe... aNYWaYS You'Re STuPiD aND THaT'S oKaY.
IY: We WiLL MeeT aFTeR THe NiGHT iS THRouGH aND aLL iS WeLL, oR aS You MiGHT aSK Me To aBRiDGe BeCauSe You JuST CaN'T HaNDLe Me, aT SCHooL, oNe oF THoSe PLaCeS FoR PeoPLe Too STuPiD To uNDeRSTaND MY WoRDS. So uNTiL THeN WHy DoN'T You JuST Go aHeaD aND TaLK To YouR DiSGuSTiNG CaT FRieND oR SoMeTHiNG.
RL: Excuse me while I think of ways that you should die in my head.

roseLalonde [RL] threw her phone at the ground because of iamYourson [IY], but then picked it back up again to talk to aidaraGirlbitch [AG].

RL: He--
AG: hey fuckface yeah i know youre still trying your dumbass plans and shit but you should just like give up your cunt already
RL: That's sexual harassment and you know it, Girlbitch.
AG: shut up shit-salad-fingers and look im in your house already so ill see you in like ten seconds because youre so incompetent you cant even lead some girls out of a house or even land some nerd with big teeth or whatever the fuck you want in life just sit down and watch some cartoons or something on the screen you look at with your faceballs
RL: That is NOT the troll term for eyeballs, and My Gym Partner's a Monkey is on right now.
RL: AND I HATE THAT SHOW.
AG: well whatever happened to class of 3000
RL: I don't know. I just don't know.
AG: well if that wont work you can join me while i watch myself kick aradias face in the ass
AG: fucking goal of the year right there the prisoner in the field gives the crowd the red cardboards
RL: ShutupshutupSHUTUPYOUDON'TKNOWEARTHSTUFF!
AG: also
AG: isnt that hussie going the wrong way
AG:

aidaraGirlbitch [AG] hung up the phone, spurring roseLalonde [RL] to pull out another cell phone and smash her first one with it.

> Rose: Find Aradia.





NO ARADIA DON'T!!

Gosh DAMN IT ALL! Your ally is accusing your mother of sleeping with an ugly brother guy, your house is getting fucked by the police, and your "princess" just got the munchies for a floorcookie! This situation eats so much shit for breakfast that your lungs are acting up for vaguely described reasons! All other options have gone dead! Out! Kaput! Zösky!

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Now is the time for ULTRAVIOLENCE!!

> Aradia: Catch that cook'.

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AIDARA: am i more than you bargained for yet
AIDARA: i've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
AIDARA: cause that's just who i am this week
AIDARA: lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
ARADIA: oh
ARADIA: oh no
ARADIA: i dont get that reference

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Spoiler in spoiler: We're being Sollux next, so no Rosy suggestions aight???? Hope you've enjoyed!

[Flairina]

Good to see you back!

Vriska is now Beat?... okay, sure. Why are the faces on the game cover colored over?

She also caused an explosion. With brooms.

...Impressive stuff.

Has that infinity sign on her shirt always been there?

God dangit Terezi do you have ADD or something? Just. LEAVE.

Who's Gkid? Is that the same person as iAmYourSon?

[Crowstone]

Roselalonded?
typoooo

poooooo
cooo

hello again you're back
I'm very glad vriska is alive

[Trish]

Good to see you back!

Vriska is now Beat?... okay, sure. Why are the faces on the game cover colored over?

She also caused an explosion. With brooms.

...Impressive stuff.

Has that infinity sign on her shirt always been there?

God dangit Terezi do you have ADD or something? Just. LEAVE.

Who's Gkid? Is that the same person as iAmYourSon?

Glad to be back! The faces are colored over for stupidity's sake. The infinity symbol's been there since the in-story day began (but looking back I think I drew it kind of wrong...). And Terezi? Psh, nobody cares about her.

For the last thing, we made a mistake and edited the post a little earlier so that he was just iamYourson, because that handle is the minorest of minor spoilers. No, it doesn't even count as a spoiler. It's like that one time where we accidentally put in a paragraph about the Handmaid before the Handmaid even appeared. We were going to mention it with the next update, but since you asked...!

And to Crowstone, Vriska can't die yet. She'll always be alive...in our hearts. Also we've gotta fix that typo!

[Weather Report]

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Phew... Watching all of this CRAP while you try to guess who the LUSTROUS FRIENDS are sure is hard work!

> Nepeta: Explain list.



These are the names of every candidate you can think of, plus a few of their STATISTICS, all of which should bee pooled into their S. TOTAL and G. TOTAL which will rank their SUITABILITY FOR EITHER FRIENDLY STATE OF BEING. For example, if somebody has a GRADE of B and a LUSTEROSNES of 29.5, you need only place these in a COMPLEX ALGORITHM to get a NET FRIEND SUM of 719.29.1 BUX. Oh, but...that couldn't be right...if that were true, the grade would have to be...

Oh, looks like the egg's on your face this time around! You forgot to put the FRIENDLINESS stat into account!

You sure wish Kanaya was smart enough to help.

> Nepeta: Confur.



Not funny, command. Stuff's getting REALLY contrived and stagnant here now. You don't even LIKE that board game anymore, and the thought of SAYING THAT YOU DID JUST A MINUTE AGO WAS A FAT LIE TO YOURSELF. You're SCARED for your LIFE and also for being BORED. Kanaya's been reduced to a GIBBERING SUB-TROLLIAN MORON.

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Well, madames?
NEPETA: aaaaaaaaaaah! dammit stop that :CC
You have three turns left, I do believe.
NEPETA: wait a minute then do those huge random transitions count as turns? you didnt even ask me then >:((
The disconnected transitions especially. And of course I wouldn't have asked you. That would be as if I were a beaver, competing with other beavers to eat trees, and I were to yell out how to find the best trees.
NEPETA: thats a lousy excuse for being suave mister
KANAYA: GibGibGibGibGib
NEPETA: kanaya stop it
KANAYA: I Am The Gold Friend
KANAYA: Nepeta Is The Silver Friend Because Of Her Hair
KANAYA: NO WAIT
*TOUCH~*
KANAYA: Heeeeey Youre Nobodys Friend At All You Jerkboat
Wrong.
I AM YOUR FRIEND.
KANAYA: GIIIIIIIIIIIB
KANAYA: Shit Lets Be Sollux Hes Kinda Gold
NEPETA: stop it for real kan!
NEPETA: stop taking away all the turns you gave me!!

> Shit, let's be Sollux.



You are now IN BADASS NEWYORK, the hippest, happeninist floor of the whole schebang. No no no not really. Mostly it's a stupid foyer. Which is swarming with STUPID GUARDS WEARING LEAVES. Who even told them to get some leaves. THE STUPID GODDAMN QUEEN THAT'S WHO! Alright alright now for real there's too many guys.

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SF: kay guy2 giimmee iideez.
SF: biig iidea2 here biig iidea2.
AD: drop the chandelier on them! it'll really hurt :D
SF: too chaiin-cutty.
YOU COULD GIVE THEM SOME HONEY.
SF: too 2tiicky.
AD: you could swap egos again for a second and have him do the dirty work :D
SF: too braiin-hurty.
YOU COULD SCREAM REAL LOUD AND HURT THEM.
SF: alriight now that'2 2tupiid.
AD: you could fly over them really quietly :D
SF: plea2e ii can't take both of you doiing thii2 together.
AD: well, its not like i can tell if other people are talking to you at the same time through your mind!
AD: also hello mister flothers.
HELLO THERE AND YES MAGEY BOY YOU ARE BEING INCONSIDERATE AREN'T YOU???
SF: goddamn guy iin my head ju2t 2top iit plea2e ii cant thiink my2elf riight now...
SF: okay then. y'all know what? ii'm ju2t gonna 2hoot at 'em.
SF: MAKE2 ENOUGH 2EN2E RIIGHT?
AD: no sollux, brute force USUALLY fails. dont do that.
I CONCUR WITH JADEGIRL.
SF: my 2tory.
SF: my 2tory my rule2.
AD: but its ANDREWS story and youre running by HIS rules!
SF: II'M A-CHARGIIN M' LAZER.

> Sollux: BRUTE FORCE!!



NO WAIT YOUR ATTACKS 2UCK REMEMBER URGH.

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Luckily, your ATTACK was filled with so much SELF-PITY that it's reacted with the guards' TEAR DUCTS! Quick, while they're crying with their guns!

> GO > GO > GO!!

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POLICEMEN: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

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AD: sollux keep running! the queens army heard the gunfire!
AD: theyre coming!!!
SF: oh god oh god ii'm 2o 2tupiid why diidn't ii lii2ten two you guy2
YES YOU ARE STUPID.
AD: you arent stupid, you just dont think!
SF: but flother2 agree2 wiith me! ii'm an iidiiot!
BUT YOU ARE RESOURCEFUL SO YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO WHICH IS TO LIVE UP TO YOUR FAMILY NAME.
SF: whiich ii2...?
SF: oh 2orry jade he'2 doiing a full-liife con2equence2 gag.
AD: i love that one <3
Flothers sent MAP.docx
AD: woah whats this...
SF: ??

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AD: its the way to the ring!
SF: flother2 you're a hero! a big fat hero!
THAT IS VERY RUDE.
SF: the goal: get the 2hiit, get out.
AD: can you open the vault?
SF: hey now. ii got ziilch p2ychiic 2trength.
SF: but ii got hella techniique.

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SF: let'2 do thii2 thiing.

[Crowstone]

YEAH DO IT YOU'RE THE BEST SAFECRACKER YOU CAN DO IT YES YES

[Flairina]

Sollux: Do something smart.

Immediately followed by:

Sollux: Do something stupid.

[Weather Report]

So I think we can go back on regular schedule again now guys.

> Sollux: Safecrack.



C'mon... fill every cranny... tumble every tumbler... turn every combination knob...



YES!!

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POOP!!

> BQ: Take the stage.

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BQ: Halt and aim.
BQ: Prince, drop that device this instant.
SOLLUX: uuuuum, ju2t a 2econd ma'am!!
YOU HAD BETTER DO AS SHE SAYS SO YOU CAN LIVE.
SOLLUX: ii gotta 2ay bye to jade.
BQ: I said drop it.

MEANWHILE ON THE PHONE...

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AD: aaaaah! my house just exploded! D:
appleDarling [AD]'s house just exploded.

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SOLLUX: BULLPOOP!!
SOLLUX: fiine! the phone ii2 on the ground! happy?
BQ: Watch your tongue.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, TOO.
SOLLUX: you should watch your tongue flother2
BQ: Insolent brat! Don't you see all these guns?
POLICEMEN: Stop! You have violated the law!
SOLLUX: II WA2N'T TALKIING TWO YOU II WA2 TALKIING TWO THE GU YIIN MY MMIIND YOU DUMMY!!
SOLLUX: waiit, let me rephra2e that.
BQ: Fire at will! Tear him apart!
SOLLUX: hab-i-di-jeh-buh-WAIIT
SOLLUX: you can't 2hoot me now!

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SOLLUX: iif you do, you'll hiit the riing whiich ii2 what ii want!
BQ: Hm. He's right.
BQ: Shift to his right and then shoot.
SOLLUX: eep.
SOLLUX: no.
SOLLUX: don't do that.
POLICEMEN: Which order are we supposed to follow then?!?!
BQ: KILL HIM.

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DD: Hey. Hands off the kid.

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DD: Or this kid gets it, geddit?
SOLLUX: droog! and... equiu2. eheheheh...
DD: I keep tellin' ya, kid. I ain't your friend. But get outta here already, I owe ya one.
BQ: The Dignitary? How did you manage to sneak back in here?!
DD: Easy. Your guards can't kill pre-dead shit.
POLICEMEN: Aw man he's right.
SOLLUX: aw, aw naw, dd the droll'2 dead.
SOLLUX: he got kiilled in the ba2ement fiive minute2 ago.
SOLLUX: he gave hii2 liife liike a true 2iilver friiend.
SOLLUX: ii'm 2orry ii couldn't 2ave hiim too.
DD: Don't even matter. Scoot out the way.
SOLLUX: but... he wa2 your partner, riight?

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BQ: What are you standing around for? Fire, imbeciles!
POLICEMEN: But your majesty! We must love the hostage as we love our wives.
POLICEMAN: But I have a husband. Can I shoot?
BQ: This is more important than any order I've given before! The entire war is at stake here!
DD: Hey bastards.

> Equius: Fly.

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DD: Go save your lover-boy.
POLICEMEN: EQUIUS!!!

> Equius: Fly.



> Sollux: Fly... toward victory over this situation?



No go, yo. Everything is just flying over your head right now. So much shit happening all at once. Alliances broken. Guns dropping. Equius blood spattering all over the walls because they threw him. Droog going for the goal. It's all a LITTLE BIT OVERWHELMING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

FLOTHERS WHAT SHOULD WE DO?! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!?!?!

SORRY BUT I GOTTA GO.
GOOD LUCK SOLLUXBOY.
I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR CHEST BEFORE I LEFT.

[Weather Report]

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Sorry guys. No words today. I hope it makes up for all those empty weeks... slash counts as the ultimate proof that we're really working on this babeh FO REALZ SON YO. YEAYEA?

Also we have enough scriptstuffs written to ALMOST last us through the end of this chap., so if you're gonna suggest anything, make it GREAT.

> Flothers: Escape.







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You are now the DJUDACTIC DECIDER. The world is yours.

[OrangeAipom]

I won't be able to catch up on this for a while, but how does Terezi blush the rainbow?

[Crowstone]

wait wait wait what happened in that last update there (who's flothersss)

[Weather Report]

I won't be able to catch up on this for a while, but how does Terezi blush the rainbow?

Well, Terezi can blush the rainbow because when an adolescent girl, the type that would write fanfiction of the Jonas Brothers and the Looney Toons mind you, stumbles upon a soap opera-type revelation in her own home town, she's going to feel a rainbow of emotions. For an example, though it won't quite be the same, you can get your little niece to read any of those novels in the grocery store with a man's naked chest on them. It's something to see!

wait wait wait what happened in that last update there (who's flothersss)

Flothers is both one of the bard of Bard Quest's sidekicks as well as the man who had been talking Sollux through his adventure on Derse from a giant double-beey-shaped terminal thign [sic]. He is also dead forever now, never to lay eyes on Sollux's naked boyflesh again/ever (apparently killed and looted by JACK VANTAS SLICK FUTUREMAN?!?!, and Droog got his ring on.

I hope these explanations worked, and thanks for remembering us, guys. I can only promise that we've been writing for that entire month, so we're hitting the ground running from this point on.

[Crowstone]

oooooo i see i see
okay i guess defeat black queen

[Flairina]

So DD got the ring. Let me just say that he now somehow looks both ridiculous and awesome. Where did that trenchcoat come from?

Very nice update, not sure if we're switching perspectives or not so no commands from me.

(Also, it may have been explained earlier but I forgot- why was the ring locked up instead of on BQs finger again?)

[Weather Report]

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So DD got the ring. Let me just say that he now somehow looks both ridiculous and awesome. Where did that trenchcoat come from? :o

Very nice update, not sure if we're switching perspectives or not so no commands from me. :)

(Also, it may have been explained earlier but I forgot- why was the ring locked up instead of on BQs finger again?)

SO glad it turned out as overdesigned as we wanted it to! The trenchcoat is what Droog was wearing before, and the reason why it got longer is to never be explained by man.

And the reason it was locked up was because of what happened in canon, because Aradia prototyped using the frog head, it made queen want to take off the ring, and so on. As long as it happened before Equius did, it's all cool.

> DD: Knock these guys out the way. Gentle-like.



Whoops.

> DD: Advance.

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SOLLUX: 2top riight there.
DD: What, you're gonna try to kill me? You ain't got the guts nor the firepower.
DD: Just stay outta my business and run.
SOLLUX: ii may not have the power...
SOLLUX: but gho2t2 do!

> Sollux: KAMIKAZE GHOST ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

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SOLLUXES: you're gonna diie now.

> BQ: Remember that you're in immediate danger.

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BQ: ALL FIRE!
POLICEMEN: OKAY LADY.

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> DD: Begin big attack on the queen.



On second thought, this is way more powerful coming out than you'd thought.

You feel bad for the kid, getting caught up in all this mess.

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Goodnight, sweet prince.

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Goodnight...

[Flairina]

Very nice; these recent updates have been great!

Oh yeah, okay... Wait, then why was everyone forced to love Equius?

[wolftamer9]

Very nice; these recent updates have been great!

Oh yeah, okay... Wait, then why was everyone forced to love Equius?

I think it was to make people think the queen still had the ring on.

[Weather Report]

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Very nice; these recent updates have been great! :D

Oh yeah, okay... Wait, then why was everyone forced to love Equius? :?

You're right, wolftamer! That's because since prototyping Aradiabot made the royals gain unmitigated lust for him (sans queen who had to put on a charade), their horrible queen decided to FORCE them to!

Except they may have already loved him

(By the way the king still has his scepter so he's still creepy like that.)

> Sollux and/or DD: Alright back to Nep again.



I think that this up here is Nepeta, but it's too scary to tell right now.

This 'sudden revelation' thing is starting to get really old, you know. It's tiring to not know who's alive and who's not anymore. What kind of person would keep showing a little girl something like this? That sexual pervert over there, that's who! Yeah, there he goes, 'next turn next turn' yeah yeah WE GET IT! You wanna show more snuff! Well just give us a minute! You freakish facial fetishist!

> Kanaya: Help her decide?



No, she can't help you decide! Why? Because she's busy riding a llama riding a leaf! You have 2 turns left and 2 friend cards in stock, which you sure as hell aren't reminding Scratch of with his bent-over-backwards-as-hellishly-bad-stupiditinessish rules and whatever, and you HAVE to make all your choices count.

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KANAYA: Be Jade

NO.

> Nepeta: Use turn, be gold friend.



NO.

Aw fuck your rules before someone Doc Scratches off your ass!

> Nepeta: Cmon Be Jade



NO WE CAN NOT WASTE A TURN ON JADE'S SAFETY! EVEN IF SHE'S ALRIGHT WE WON'T HAVE SAVED HER OR ANYTHING, RIGHT??

But wait...

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What if she really is dead? And then what if you end up cracking a joke about her and it's in really bad taste? You'll be everyone's least favorite character! The worst, least good of the main cast! MAYBE EVEN USELESS... Ugh, c'mon everybody, this is incredibly...

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HOLY MF-IN SHIT ON A PIE, LET'S BE...

> Nepeta: Be Jade. Choose Jade.



okay, okay 33:|

You are now Jade Egbert, SLIGHTLY BACK IN TIME, and currently you're chatting up Sollux on your COOL PHONE. You're so excited about seeing wherever Sollux's adventure goes next!

Never before did you realize how COOL this guy is! You might have to be his PATRON HUMAN, even.

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AD: its the way to the ring!
SF: flother2 you're a hero! a big fat hero!
THAT IS VERY RUDE.
SF: the goal: get the 2hiit, get out.
AD: can you open the vault?
SF: hey now. ii got ziilch p2ychiic 2trength.
SF: but ii got hella techniique.

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Oh no! What the heck is going on?

You've gotta leave right now. But you should take that video-camera-slash-backpack, it's still got some film on it... And that amateur art showing your old A+-worthy schoolwork? THAT'S A KEEPER!

Maybe, at least, you can send a parting message to Sollux...

> Jade: Send message.

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AD: aaaaah! my house just exploded! D:

[Crowstone]

wait CD is the silver friend yeahhh????
>Jade: oh no whatttttt

[Flairina]

> Nepeta: Stare at page title- obviously this means Sollux is the gold friend. He types in gold, maybe the silver friend types in silver?

(Sorry about forgetting that, there's just too many pages too go back and look for it myself. ^^

[Weather Report]

SPECIAL NOTES: Tonight our FAVORITE IMAGE UPLOADER is malfunctioning (as in not loading), so no update tonight (unless it starts back up again). Also we're riding in a car for like 14 hours tomorrow, so no update tomorrow either. That also goes for MAGNUM HEAD (Trish's special story) and COMPLACENCY OF THE YOUNG (my cradly story). Also this is shameless advertising at this point.

EDIT:

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JADE: the brown guy? :O
BG: 'THe BRoWN GuY'?
BG: WeLL, YeS, i GueSS i aM THe BRoWN GuY, iN SuRFaCe TeRMS.
BG: BuT WHaT You SHouLD ReaLLY KNoW Me aS...
BG: iS a YouNG MaN ViSiTiNG FRoM a STRaNGe FuTuRe...
BG: WHo SaW a YouNG WoMaN iN PeRiL.
BG: aND aS eVeN THe PeoPLe oF THe PaST KNoW, THe FuTuRe iS ReLaTiVe.
JADE: so mysterious...
JADE: thank you, kind stranger! i cant possibly repay you for saving me from that splosion! :D
JADE: im guessing you traveled back to this part of the timestream to save the rest of my family too?
JADE: oh and the dog!
BG: uH...TiMe TRaVeL DoeSN'T WoRK THaT WaY iN THiS uNiVeRSe.
BG: oNLy oNe oF Me CaN eXiST RiGHT HeRe, RiGHT NoW. Do You GeT iT?
JADE: so romantic...

> Examine Egbert residence.

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JOHN: i...didn't think something like this was possible...
JOHN: dad! jade! davidson!
JOHN: *gasp* hearst!?!?
BG: HMM...

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BG: ...No. iT JuST DoeSN'T SeeM WoRTH iT. i HoPe THeY SuRViVe. Ha! Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha! Ha!

> Kanaya: Now be Tavros.



NOOOOOOO NO NO NO NONONONONO NEIN

But alas, it has already been done. You are he. And he be hungrey.

> Tavros: Quest for food: TAVROSQUEST.



Well, it's more like a MUNCHQUEST, seeing as you wanna eat some great MUNCHY LUNCH FOODS, and MUNCH is a FUNNY WORD that also sounds like MUNICH, which is TROLLGERMAN like NEIN, also miraculously similar to HUMANGERMAN.

However, what you fail as Tavros to realize is that you have justs passed the ISLAND CONTROL, the room containing the most complex island mechanisms. Though the device to initiate its aiming devices has been lost to time, if someone were to suddenly reawaken the system it would be devastating to all those living here today. Thus, nobody may be allowed in under ANY circumstances.

"hI GUYS," you say to the agents.

"Ha ha ha what a cripplewimp," the agents fire back. Luckily for you, CRIPPLEWIMP is your current ECHELADDER RANKING, so the insult flies FASHIONABLY over your head. Because you aren't thinking about all that power stored behind the door. You're having fun. You like the flamingo guys. They're really cool people. Uh, you mean consorts. They wouldn't like you calling them people. If they heard that they'd probably beat you up and your friends too. Yeah. Heh.

> Tavros: Go greet the local youngboys and make comrades.

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TAVROS: hEY THERE, gUYS,
TAVROS: lOOK i GOT COOL MONSTERS,
TAVROS: cAN I BE YOUR, uH, fRIENDS eVEN THOUGH, tHE, tROLL WORD FOR, fRIENDS, iS ALSO THE WORD FOR ENEMY, wHICH DOESN'T ACTUALLY, wORK?
TAVROS: i WOULD ALSO LIKE A BEAN,
OLIVERFLAMINGO: 'Ey boys! 'Ook! 'S a cripple!
OLIVERFRIEND: 'Eah, 'Hy don't he just get a cybernetical replacement, 'oys?
OLIVERFLAMINGO: 'S is a British street urchin accent, 'o you know.
OLIVERFLAMINGO: 'Eah, 'et's beat him up coz we don't like him!

> Tavros: Use your monsters to defend yourself.



No it's too late for that. Now your USELESS LEG NO. 1 is STUCK in a GUTTER. Plus those guys even took your wheelchair! You only wish you could defend yourself. And for friends. And that Karkat wasn't such a clingy little freak. Ugh. So creepy.