EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (were still here, we apologize)

[Weather Report]

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Mibbs

GET OUTTA HERE FUCK YOU TROLL

JANEXGAMZEE YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. NEXT TIME: DIRKSKA?!

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FEFERI: OOOOOH! OH MY GOSH! -E-E-E-E-E! Aradia that outfit looks so cute!
KANAYA: Sweet Horns
VRISKA: Nice makeup! You put that on just now?
VRISKA: Can't 8lame ya! Wouldn't wanna look 8ad in front of the law!
TAVROS: i HAVE TO SAY, tHE WHOLE ENSEMBLE WORKS PRETTY WELL ON YOU,
TAVROS: tHE HORNS LOOK ESPECIALLY SMOKIN',
JOHN: dudes! she looks like a troll! that is so rad!
ROSE: Seriously, what's with that getup?
GAMZEE: How did it EVEN?
JADE: and how'd you change so fast?
KARKAT: Maybe it was breakaway clothes.
GAMZEE: *blush*
TEREZI: K4rk4t! You'r3 so n4sty! 3w! P3rv!
KARKAT: No guys hear me out! You know how in magic a guy rips off his tux and he's got another brand-spankin' new one on under it?
DAVE: spankin
FEFERI: Aw Karkat watch out! 38D
KARKAT: DAAAAVE! FLIP OOOOOFF!
FEFERI: 38I
KANAYA: What About That Crusty Gray Skin? Did She Just Jump In A Bucket Of Paint Brown Eyeliner And Wigs, Then Rip Off The Clothes?
GAMZEE: Sounds MESSY, man! She couldn't do THAT!
KANAYA: Well, You Know How Messy Aradia Is Sometimes
ERIDAN: Mmaybe it wwas breakaway skin
TAVROS: nO, tHAT'S TOO TIME-CONSUMING,
TAVROS: sHE LOOKS A LITTLE TOO, uHH, aUTHENTIC FOR THAT,
TAVROS: iT'S LIKE SHE REALLY WAS A TROLL,
JOHN: so then it was magic?
ROSE: What's even going on?
"ARADIA": FUUUUUUUUUCK EEEEEEVERYOOOOOOOONE!!

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JADE: ROSE NO!
ROSE: Ow!
KANAYA: My Eye

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"ARADIA": Guess who I am, vaginaInvestigator.
"ARADIA": You have three guesses.
ROSE: Awwwwwwwwww shit.
MR. CAL: I'm truly sorry kids

> Everyone: Make guesses.

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ERIDAN: Uhhhh
ERIDAN: Ccan I try?
ERIDAN: I tthink yyour name is
ERIDAN: Aradia
"ARADIA": Guess a-fuckin'-gain, retards.

> "Aradia": Generate actual name.

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AIDARA: I'm AIDARA GIRLBITCH, BITCHES!
AIDARA: BITCH GIRLS GIRLS BITCH FUCK CUNT ASS!
AIDARA: This is MY class now, and nobody tells me what to motherfuckin' do, because I transferred MYSELF in just to make your lives a living, fucking hell, you cocksucking sons of suck-cock fucks.
JADE: oh...
JADE AND ERIDAN: NOOOOO!!

> Rose: Showdown, because it's not over 'til it's motherfucking over.



You do so, but sadly our PERSPECTIVE starts to change just as it's presumably getting good.

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You are GAMZEE MAKARA, and you love ANIME, MANGA, and ANYTHING RELATING TO ANIME OR MANGA. Your tastes are very ECLECTIC ranging from big HITS like KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN to REALLY BAD STUFF like BOBBY'S IN DEEP. For SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON, you also like Scott Pilgrim, and you KIND OF LOOK LIKE HIM TOO.

The truth is, you also love MSPA. It's ONE OF YOUR MANY FAVORITE STORIES, even though it is not a manga or an anime. And you've read LITERALLY ALL OF IT SO FAR. Really, you would be making plans to go to the big ANIME CON with your FRIENDS if you didn't know about the whole KIDS BEING TAKEN INTO THE STORY debacle.

You've been forming a plan, of course. You are going to HUNT DOWN ANDREW HUSSIE with a RUSTY KNIFE later tonight. You don't want to worry your friends any more than things already have, so you're keeping it all a BIG SEKRET.

...Still, you're just as clueless as anyone else is about that SHOWDOWN occurring before you. Where the heck is the real Aradia? Man, those police SURE AREN'T TRUSTWORTHY. You can only speculate how HORRIBLE and UNTRUSTWORTHY the BIG FBI must be in comparison. Personally you think the most SHONEN way for the two to sort things out is to DUKE IT OUT, ONE ON ONE, like OLD RIVALS. It ALWAYS WORKS VERY WELL. Go get'm, Rose!

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Next time: Equius.

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Rose> win, thereby enforcing Defeat Means Friendship and then suddenly become friends with Aidara.

Gamzee> any reason your using a rusty knife? i would think you would want to give yourself the best chance you can and at least have something sharp.

[Weather Report]

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Okay so after today's update we're gonna put some work into a FLESH PEDGE so no more updates for maybe three/four days. But if you are all nice to one another while we're gone, I will make a shipping picture for you upon some weird coupling suggestions. Then you can giggle one time and look at some faux-animation (also known as nanimation). Sounds like fun???

> Gamzee: any reason your using a rusty knife? i would think you would want to give yourself the best chance you can and at least have something sharp.



Oh, you've got more than just a rusty knife. You've got a ZABUZA SWORD THAT CAN CUT PAPER that you picked up at the TOYS "R" US.

Actually, you're just planning on using the rusty knife because you had it on your desk at home. It's really dull though. Might have to drop that idea.

> Rose: Win, thereby enforcing Defeat Means Friendship and then suddenly become friends with Aidara.



You wish. AIDARA GIRLBITCH is a very tough foe indeed, and personally, you don't think she'd be as willing to play by those ANIME TROPES as yourself.

This is going to take a while. You think we should change perspective for a while, maybe to an exciting troll-kid of some kind.

NOBODY tells ME what to do!



You are now Equius Zahhak, and still fighting the Gi-Giclops.

> Gi-Giclops: Smashtech Level 74: Bellyflop Armageddon Fantango.





This doesn't look too good. That girth is just too overbearing.

ROBORADIAAAAA!!!

> Robo-Radia: Robo-Radiatech XX: RoBo-RaIdIa.



Robo-Radia strikes the foul beast in its weak point: the incredibly obvious cyclops eyeball. You should have guessed this long ago. You are a failure of an Einstein or Tesla.

Collect spoils!! :B





You are buried in REWARDS.

> Equius: Get adventurin' already!







You collect your gains and get moving. You see something at the bottom of this cavern. Shall you advance?

> Equius: Advance to the second gate.



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> Feferi: React to this stunning realization.

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FEFERI: AAAAAAAAA)()(.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

(Just going to say those H's should be ') ('s.)

Feferi: FLIP T) (-------E FUCK OUT!!!!!!! 3XO

[Weather Report]

Fine. Edited, but now it looks TOTALLY ugly. You've ruined it. You GET no shipping pictures. You STOLE fizzyliftingdrink. Good DAY sir/ma'am.

Oh but hey the shipping picture is probably still happening. But DD360 can't look guys *shifty eyez*

[Gira]

Alas, it is the risk that writers must take when they involve Feferi in their stories.

In other news, YAY EQUIUS! ...What do you mean it's only for one day? ; A;

[Kaynato]

QUICK FIND ANOTHER ONE.

[OrangeAipom]

AAAAAAAAARG)( S-EAGOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

maybe that?

nah

[Catstorm]

I made a fandoodle

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it's roboradia

[Weather Report]

I made some fanart

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it's aradia

EEEEEEEE OH MY GOSH THANK YOU! I know this sounds sarcastic, but I am sincerely excited. This is finally a story that can have non-ironic non-fan art in it. Thank you so much, this is going on the first page.

But the cell phone is too small. Like what is that, a 2000's phone????

Seriously, thank you Catstorm.

[Catstorm]

You're welcome :3

[Trish]

Hey look, it's a shipping picture to tide everyone over. Here's Tavros and Equius...and it's not really fire or Einstein-related, for some strange reason, save for maybe the propane grill. In hindsight that might've been a BAD MOVE, but who CARES, it's FUERZABRUTASHIPPING.



And by the way, thanks for the first piece of non-self-indulgent fanart!

[Weather Report]

'Kay, just postin' to say we've got some work into this next page, and so far it looks terrible as always, and is maybe a good 30% done, excluding any work I may do today. Which means the next FLESH PEDGE will likely go up on Saturday night, and will lead us into the next chapter! Yay! WOo!

Dang, I've been working for so long on this update that I've physically aged from 16 to 17. Sadly I still think like an 8 year-old (no offense to 8 year olds). *SLY BIRTHDAY REFERENCE GIVE ME YOUR CANDY*

Sadly the next page will not be as long as the last one, but will hopefully be as exciting, if not moreso because plot.







I'm gonna miss that Drong guy...

On a completely unrelated note, has anybody been following Jit's tumblr? I think that the conversations over the past few days over the newest updates have been utterly hilarious. You should scroll down and look at them, unless you do it past today, at which point you're TO LATE: bamb.

[Trish]

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Unofficial track of choice for the very next page: ~~ADDITIONAL MAYHEM~~.

> Feferi: FLIP T) (-------E FUCK OUT!!!!!!! 3XO



Equius and his funny flying robotic pal have just ruined everything, temporarily.

Hey, speaking of important troll-humans...

[size=1]AAAAAAAAAAARGH!! If the image refuses to work AGAIN, try clicking here.

[Weather Report]

FLESH PEDGE 4

This marks the end of the second chapter. Don't listen to almost. IT'S NEVER ALMOST.

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[S]> Nepeta: Get on with it.

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so at the end nepeta got the drone's arms right? also why didn't vriska just make the drone stand still long enough for nepeta to finish it?

[Trish]

so at the end nepeta got the drone's arms right? also why didn't vriska just make the drone stand still long enough for nepeta to finish it?

Because gouging somebody's brain out is much more delightful for the viewing public, right? Vriska's dramatic. She likes to party and do action stuff. And yes, we have arms. Arms are a-go. Ten-four on those arms, maggot-soldier etc.

[Trish]

> Nepeta: Be Sollux.



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SOLLUX: 2o...thii2 ii2 what iit'2 liike two diie.
SOLLUX: 20 iit 2eem2.
SOLLUX: and y0u are fated to joiin us iin the near future f0r all eterniity.
SOLLUX: no...ii'm diifferent from all of you and ii know iit.
SOLLUX: you're ju2t faiilure2 from alternate tiimeliines tryiing to 2care me. 2peakiing more accurately you're 2iimply a freaky game mechaniic andrew iinvented to 2care me.
SOLLUX: but ii know your game, andrew, and better than you'd thiink.
SOLLUX: ii'll be walkiing away slowly now
SOLLUX: h0ld up. we're n0t d0ne wiith y0u yet.
SOLLUX: y0u mu2t hear 0ur harr0wiing tale2 0f death.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when an iimperiial dr0ne cra2hed iint0 my hiive.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when a c0mputer landed 0n my head and gave me a fatal concu22ii0n.
SOLLUX: oh wow, thii2 ii2 riidiiculou2.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when tavr02 ran 0ver me wiith a tract0r traiiler.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when aradiia gave me a hat.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when eriidan c0nquered the w0rld.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when vrii2ka triied tw0 sh0w me a magiic triick.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when gamzee threw a piie iin my face.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when karkat gave every0ne cancer.
SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when dave 2triider *2niiff* gave me the c0mm0n c0ld.
SOLLUX: okay, you're all dead, ii get iit, so can you 2hut up plea2e.

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LITTLE KID SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when a bear ate me iin the face.
MELTY PUDDLE SOLLUX: ii wa2 kiilled when ii MELTED.

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DEAD DAVE: dude youve gotta get outta here
DEAD DAVE: that sollux killed me after i infected him
DEAD DAVE: you must be one of the good ones
DEAD DAVE: theyre never gonna let you escape

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SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie?
SOLLUX: when wiill Y0U diie?
SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie...?
SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie??

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LITTLE KID SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie

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SOLLUX: no...2hut up you friiggiin iidiiot2! why would you try and attack one of your own anyway??
SOLLUX: but y0u are n0t 0ne 0f u2.
SOLLUX: g0.
SOLLUX: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH.

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Looks like DEAD DAVE was wrong. The worst they could do was throw you into a DREAM DUMPSTESR.

They may take your spirit, but they'll never take your...your.....well, okay, you feel pretty torn up inside right about now.

> Sollux: Revive.





You are revived. Now what??

[Mibbs]

check out all these extra solluxes (solluxi?)

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Sollux: buzz liike a bee and fliip your 2hiit.

[siguard]

Sollux> have fun with your new super powers by giving random dersites wedgies telekentically. aim for the one that looks like spades slick.

[wolftamer9]

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SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie?
SOLLUX: when wiill Y0U diie?
SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie...?
SOLLUX: when wiill y0u diie??

ii'm 2o tiired
of your liie2
and the eviil thiing2 you're doiing behiind my back
are the criime2 that you have never commiitted, ii doubt iit,
2ometimes ii wonder when wiill you diie

you're iin2ane.
you are bad.
you wreck everythiing you touch and you're a 2ociiopath,
and there'2 one thiing that everyone'2 wonderiing,
when wiill you diie?

>Examine room. Also clean up the corpses.

[Catstorm]

>Sollux: Realize sudden tallness, use to advantage

[Weather Report]

> Sollux: Check out all these extra Solluxes (solluxi?).



What extra Solluxi?

This is just your DREAM SELF ROOM THING.

> Sollux: Examine room.



Wow! It's a purple version of the regular Sollux Captor hive! It's so true-to-fiction!

> Sollux: Check for phone.



Nnnnope, nothing in your Dream Pockets except for some LINT. Oh and you guess a NAPKIN.

> Sollux: Buzz liike a bee and fliip your 2hiit.



WHEEE OUT THE WINDOW BZZZZZZZZZZ! It's SO GOOD to not be DEAD. Technically. Woah, you're a ZOMBIE!! Except alive.

And flipping? Maaan, fuck that emo shit you're gonna ENJOY YOURSELF for once.

> Sollux: Realize sudden tallness, use to advantage.



Well YOU sure know that YOU are feeling advantaged over the people who are shorter than you. Too bad you will be that once more in one picture. But you will learn to love that, too, in time.

> Sollux: Have fun with your new super powers.





Wait wait wait... oh yeah. Little psychic shocks. You have mindy powers. Didn't see this revival coming, huh Andrew? THANKS FOR THE PSYCHIC POWERS!

Look down there. Some guy who looks like Spades Slick. Time for PSYCHIC PRANKS!

> Sollux: HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!



CHARGING UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!

> Sollux: FIRE!!



You fire a tiny spark and zap the guy. You really suck at this thing. Oh well, we can practice this stuff later.

> Sollux: Be haunted by the voices of the deceased.

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A BUNCH OF TINY DEAD SOLLUX GHOSTS: B000000000000000000000

> Sollux: Snuff 'em out (sniff?)







You successfully inhale and cough these losers into a NAPKIN and then a SOLLUXBIN. They won't be back for a long time.

> Sollux: Look around you.



Oh, hey. It's Equiuses. That's kind of freaky, but you're going to choose not to worry about that so much.

[siguard]

>continue to be ridiculously optimistic and confident also mess with weird green ninja stars.

>spy on other peoples rooms, see if anyone else is awake.