fantroll crit thread: thread now full, please post in the new one

[Silvy]

Alright! Thanks

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your name is KRONOT ZARODA, and you are a REDBLOODED troll of 6 SWEEPS.

You have a strange infatuation with ROMANCE NOVELS of the RAINBOW DRINKER variety, although you tend to keep that to yourself as it is FUCKING EMBARASSING. Somewhat related to that is your STUPID ASS power, granted to you because of your BLOOD. You have the ability to see the QUADRANTS another might have, in the form of a MULTICOLORED AURA around them, or sometimes as STRING-LIKE ILLUSIONS if one is CLOSE ENOUGH to their RESPECTIVE OTHER(s). Due to that, and how ANNOYING this power is, you tend to AVOID looking at other trolls, much to their annoyance.

Your LUSUS, a large BAT, has kept you in this damn CAVE-HIVE as long as you can remember, only allowing you to go out for NECESSITIES like FOOD and CLOTHING and such. He's pretty SELF-SUSTAINING, bringing in the occasional TROLL that may or may not STUMBLE across your HIVE, and EATING THEM. You aren't too sure if he would EAT YOU or NOT, so you tend to AVOID him as well.

Despite that, you are always armed with your trusty CROWBAR, which you use to BEAT TROLLS SENSELESS. You've used it so much, you pretty much just said FUCK IT and allocated it to your STRIFE DECK, leaving you with CROWBARKIND. You use this trusty crowbar in order to protect yourself from the many dangers the HEMOSPECTRUM brings, although you do follow it nearly religiously, you can never be too prepared, you know, in case a HIGHBLOOD deems you UNWORTHY and CULLS you.

Your personality, on an entirely different topic, tends to be sort of BLAND, or at least, in your opinion it is. You tend to be kind of SENSITIVE about when trolls talk about your INTERESTS, and usually end up OFFENDED. You're also pretty much the ROMANCE EXPERT, and will never say no to a conversation about QUADRANTS. Other than that, you tend to try and put on a 'I AM BETTER THAN YOU' facade for trolls you've never CHATTED with before.

On that topic, you tend to chat on TROLLIAN semi-frequently, going by the name of quixoticCavalier, and you tend to type like you have izzuez vith zome letterz an vords, zince your teeth are zo bhig,, bhut you try! <:[

If you were to ever play a SGRUB with your friends, you would be the HEIR of FORM, within the LAND OF SCALES AND PIPES, with TIMID GREEN IGUANAS to help you find your way throught the large land.

[Quincunx]

There's a bit of an excess of CAPTALIZED words there. Pick and choose them carefully. Only the most important things should be capitalized.

His psychic power is not one I'm sure would work very well. Troll quadrants are supposed to be very volatile and flip frequently between affections for many. I think just sensing of emotions might be more viable, with him sensing hate and pity most strongly, perhaps.

His hobbies are mentioned here, but is there anything he does to support himself? One can only read novels for so long. He must have other interests since he's not social.

Just writing-wise, I think the overall tone is a bit more negative than it could be. I might see it working for an angry character, but he doesn't appear to be one. Remove the cursing especially.

[Silvy]

Alright! Thank you

I'll work on it a bit and get back to you guys when I write a better one.

I really do appreciate the help!

[Firebird766]

Your name is KRONOT ZARODA, and you are a REDBLOODED troll of 6 SWEEPS.

You have a strange infatuation with ROMANCE NOVELS of the RAINBOW DRINKER variety, although you tend to keep that to yourself as it is FUCKING EMBARASSING. ((It should be spelled "EMBARRASSING.")) Somewhat related to that is your STUPID ASS power, granted to you because of your BLOOD. ((Should be "STUPID-ASS," and I don't think all rustbloods get powers.))You have the ability to see the QUADRANTS another might have, in the form of a MULTICOLORED AURA around them, or sometimes as STRING-LIKE ILLUSIONS if one is CLOSE ENOUGH to their RESPECTIVE OTHER(s).((I like the ability. Very creative! However, there are a few too many commas in there and "one is" should be "They are.")) Due to that, and how ANNOYING this power is, you tend to AVOID looking at other trolls, much to their annoyance.

Your LUSUS, a large BAT, has kept you in this damn CAVE-HIVE as long as you can remember, only allowing you to go out for NECESSITIES like FOOD and CLOTHING and such. He's pretty SELF-SUSTAINING, bringing in the occasional TROLL that may or may not STUMBLE across your HIVE, and EATING THEM. ((Again, a comma can be eliminated here. In this case, the one after "HIVE" can go.)) You aren't too sure if he would EAT YOU or NOT, so you tend to AVOID him as well. (("Too" is superfluous and can be eliminated.))

Despite that, you are always armed with your trusty CROWBAR, which you use to BEAT TROLLS SENSELESS. You've used it so much, you pretty much just said FUCK IT and allocated it to your STRIFE DECK, leaving you with CROWBARKIND. You use this trusty crowbar in order to protect yourself from the many dangers the HEMOSPECTRUM brings, although you do follow it nearly religiously, you can never be too prepared, you know, in case a HIGHBLOOD deems you UNWORTHY and CULLS you.((In this case, the comma after "brings" should be replaced with a semicolon and the one after "prepared" should instead start a new sentence.))

Your personality, on an entirely different topic, tends to be sort of BLAND, or at least, in your opinion it is. ((Another comma issue. The one after "least" can go.))You tend to be kind of SENSITIVE about when trolls talk about your INTERESTS, and usually end up OFFENDED. You're also pretty much the ROMANCE EXPERT, and will never say no to a conversation about QUADRANTS. Other than that, you tend to try and put on a 'I AM BETTER THAN YOU' facade for trolls you've never CHATTED with before. ((Even the highbloods?))

On that topic, you tend to chat on TROLLIAN semi-frequently, going by the name of quixoticCavalier, and you tend to type like you have izzuez vith zome letterz an vords, zince your teeth are zo bhig,, bhut you try! <:[
((You could get rid of another comma here by ending the sentence with "semi-frequently" and starting the next with "You go by the name of"))

If you were to ever play a SGRUB with your friends, you would be the HEIR of FORM, within the LAND OF SCALES AND PIPES, with TIMID GREEN IGUANAS to help you find your way throught the large land. ((It's spelled "throughout," but I suspect that's just a typo.))

In general, you could work on keeping your comma count down. It's a common issue with writers, so don't be too worried about it. Other than that, there are just a couple of spelling errors. The profile flows nicely from paragraph to paragraph, which is one of the harder things to get down in my opinion.

Overall, I like your troll. He has a creative power and deals with his issues in a realistic manner. I certainly wouldn't mind roleplaying against him some day.

[Silvy]

Hahah you guys are great!
I really appreciate all this different feedback, I dont get it very often ((even when i ask for it ughh))

And haha, Spelling! My worst enemy!

[Monkeysky]

Silvy, I have a feeling that you'll fit in here just fine.
Not many can take criticism, but if you're able to, this thread is a great resource.

[Silvy]

Oh man yeah I've been looking through this thread ((i guess oops)) for the last few days ((trying to work up the courage to post in here hahaha)) and all these people who cant take criticism just make me mad!

I mean, why even bother coming in here if you're not gonna listen?

Man I love criticism, like I said, whenever I ask for some I never really get any! That might just be because I ask for it on Deviantart and such.


I'd be glad to help out with sprite crits and stuff though! Im very good with like color theory and proportions (sp? i cant really spell sorry <:7) and stuff.

[backmasked]

I hope this isn't taken as spamming, but my profile keeps getting lost in the shuffle and I haven't gotten any feedback on the content itself. I really need help streamlining this a bit more since it looks like it's a lot longer than the average profile, so any input on editing out unnecessary parts would be pretty awesome.



> Be the perpetually paranoid guitarist.



Your name is ASHRAM THELST, and those that know you like to say that you're a bit TOUCHED in the THINK PAN. But that's because THEY JUST DON'T KNOW.

You have a NIGH COMPULSIVE desire for the TRUTH in all matters and you're are known by your acquaintances for your BLUNT VERACITY ; in fact, you're probably the most HONEST troll on all of Alternia, even if such truth comes in a rather TACTLESS manner. However, your highly SUSPICIOUS nature when it comes to other trolls can often lead you to looking for LIES where there may be none. You can often be found rooting through troll's personal blogs and other information sites in the DEEP WEB in search of inconsistancies and other signs of TREACHERY all around you. Your PARANOIA is not contained just to online interactions either, as you are quite enamored with CONSPIRACY THEORIES, and are certain that there is an IMPERIAL PLOT to force the hemospectrum through underhanded and untruthful means, targeting anyone under the royal blood range. Because of your ACTIVISM about this corruption, you fear that you have made yourself a TARGET of the Imperials and are quite manic about keeping your identity A SECRET. It is the one truth you just can't disclose, and it TEARS YOU UP INSIDE whenever you have to avoid questions of this nature.

Obviously you can be a bit NEUROTIC, and your decidedly solitary lifestyle is often being swayed by SUSPICION and CONSPIRACY, but you prefer it that way. One must suffer for the TRUTH, after all. The suffering you disdain the most though has always been the lack of SLEEP due to your wariness toward SOPOR SLIME, which you just KNOW is filled with NANOMACHINES used to PLACATE and STUPIFY those that use the foul sludge in their RECUPERACOONS. Those FOOLS. Just another plot by the IMPERIAL MACHINE. As such, you don't get much sleep, and any lapses in you consciousness are filled with NIGHTMARES of PARANOID PLOTS and other trolls COMING FOR YOU. The mere idea of having other people within arm's reach makes you want to PROJECTILE VOMIT since you're just a touch SOCIOPHOBIC. It's not that you fear or dislike others, it's just that the presense of others makes you PHYSICALLY ILL because you don't TRUST THEM as far as you could THROW THEM. Still, your HONESTY CODE dictates that everyone has a right to know, so you do what you can to SPREAD THE TRUTH even if they MAKE LIGHT of your work and lectures about the IMPERIAL PLOT. You take it all in stride though. After all, soon they'll see. THEY'LL ALL SEE.

Like a fraction of other odd trolls from your generation, you have a taste for MUSIC and actually favor yourself as something of MUSICIAN and COMPOSER yourself. You like it LOUD AND OFFENSIVE, and if there were enough of a musical market on the planet to require musical genres, your creations would fall quite neatly into something a little METAL and ROCK N' ROLL. But since there isn't enough of a market for that, most trolls would just call it SATISFYING ANGRY NOISE, which works just fine for you. You pass the days and nights RECORDING many SUBLIMELODIC SONGS utilizing your trusty ELECTRIC GUITAR. You post these tracks to GRUBTUBE, where you use your following to spread the ANTI-IMPERIAL MESSAGE. Not that you have much of a following since it can be pretty hard to sell a one-troll anti-establishment rockband, but those fans that you do have are devout, possibly due to your PSYCHICALLY-CHARGED VOICE. It's a fact you utterly disdain, but EVERY WORD YOU UTTER holds a hypnotic quality that makes it NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to resist, and you have absolutely NO CONTROL over it. It makes your songs much more INFLUENTIAL to anyone listening and any silly statement you speak become an UNSTOPPABLE COMMAND to any troll who hears it. You could conceivably raise an ARMY with your commands, if not for your REFUSAL to stoop to such underhanded methods; it also doesn't help that you would completely LOCK THE FUCK UP if you were ever put into a situation where you were FACE TO FACE with anyone, making it pretty USELESS in any combat situation.

To keep awake, you keep yourself busy with your miscellaneous other INTERESTS. A few of the things you enjoy include CONSPIRACY and PARANORMAL BLOGGING, being an ONLINE MUSIC CRITIC, and making BOOBYTRAPS that are intended to keep yourself safe but often end up backfiring; you were trapped in a pit for DAYS once before your lusus was able to find you after falling into a trap that you forgot about. You also just so happen to be a rather skilled LUTHIER and enjoy collecting wood and scrap metal from the surrounding forests to create better and MORE DEADLY guitars. Occasionally you'll partake in VIDEO CHATS with your closer acquaintances or even put on a LIVE SHOW.

You live alone deep in the MOUNTAIN FORESTS, hidden away from any sort of civilization. Your hive is a beautiful and expansive VILLA-TYPE AFFAIR, suitable to one of your caste, carved right into the STEEP SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN. The halls of your home TUNNEL DEEP into the mountain, making it like some sort of FUNHOUSE full of STAIRS and EMPTY ROOMS and BOOBYTRAPS, built so that no one could ever find anything. Ever. Even you GET LOST from time to time, having had to relocate your RESPITEBLOCK several time during your YOUNGER SWEEPS because you were never able to find your way back to them. On the upside, the ACOUSTICS are FANTASTIC. On the downside, it's FUCKING COLD living at a higher altitude like this.

Your LUSUS seems just fine with the arrangements though, though that's just because the bastard has all that FUR to keep himself warm. Being a large FERRET-TYPE creature as he is, he just thrives in these deep tunnels, often building random nests and blockades of his own out of MISPLACED BELONGINGS and DEAD ANIMALS. He's quite the hunter. And by hunter you mean CHEATER. He possesses the same PSYCHICALLY CHARGED VOICE as you do, lending to why he chose you as a grub; however, he doesn't have the same sense of DECENCY as you do and uses his SIREN SONG to lure animals to the edge of the mountain above where they tumble to their DEATHS on your front porch. It may feed you both easily, but it's just DISHONEST. You occasionally chide him about it in an attempt to instill some of your TRUTH VENDETTA, and then he'll rebuke by bashing your TASTE IN MUSIC and flipping over your AMPS before disappearing into the depth of the hive. Things usually get tense for a few days after that. You could just never stay ANGRY at at your FERRETFATHER's adorable face though.

If you were ever to play SGRUB, your title would be the THIEF OF KEYS, and you would wield a powerful GUITARKIND. Your would dwell in the LAND OF SHADE AND CLOCKWORK with.

Your trolltag is backmaskedBallads and you ƚɘnd ƚo ƨpɘɒk wiƚh ɒ bɒckwɒɿdƨ ɒccɘnƚ ƚhɒƚ cɒn bɘ ɒ liƚƚlɘ hɒɿd ƚo undɘɿƨƚɒnd.

Moar images:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TLDR;

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Name; Ashram Thelst
Gender; Male
Title; Thief of Keys
Age; 7 solar sweeps
Trolltag; backmaskedBallads
Symbol; alto clef
Land; Land of Shade and Clockwork
Dreaming; Derse
Quirk; types the letters of his name backwards
Blood Colour; 0-56-82
Lusus; a large furry Ferretfather
Fetch Modus; I-SpyModus - finding the item needed where it's hidden on the fetch card
Strife Specibus; guitarKind

[CrazedWormHole]

Alright, updated sprite. Comments? Mouth is still rather big because, again, it's supposed to be.

[scintillatingMoniker]

Oh man yeah I've been looking through this thread ((i guess oops)) for the last few days ((trying to work up the courage to post in here hahaha)) and all these people who cant take criticism just make me mad!

I mean, why even bother coming in here if you're not gonna listen?

silvy get the fuck over here so I can hug the shit out of you

also @backmasked

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I hope this isn't taken as spamming, but my profile keeps getting lost in the shuffle and I haven't gotten any feedback on the content itself. I really need help streamlining this a bit more since it looks like it's a lot longer than the average profile, so any input on editing out unnecessary parts would be pretty awesome.
S'fine.


> Be the perpetually paranoid guitarist.



Eyes are a little too high and far away from eachother, but it's only by a few pixels. Apart from that, the perspective of the body is a bit awkward, the symbol doesn't quite match up with the body. I'd suggest making the symbol thinner/smaller and moving it to the right a bit.

Your name is ASHRAM THELST, and those that know you like to say that you're a bit TOUCHED in the THINK PAN. But that's because THEY JUST DON'T KNOW.

You have a NIGH COMPULSIVE desire for the TRUTH in all matters and you're are known by your acquaintances for your BLUNT VERACITY ; in fact, you're probably the most HONEST troll on all of Alternia, even if such truth comes in a rather TACTLESS manner. However, your highly SUSPICIOUS nature when it comes to other trolls can often lead you to looking for LIES where there may be none. You can often be found rooting through troll's personal blogs and other information sites in the DEEP WEB in search of inconsistancies and other signs of TREACHERY all around you. Your PARANOIA is not contained just to online interactions either, as you are quite enamored with CONSPIRACY THEORIES, and are certain that there is an IMPERIAL PLOT to force the hemospectrum through underhanded and untruthful means, targeting anyone under the royal blood range. Well first of all, I don't think there'd need to be a conspiracy, highbloods can just do whatever the hell they want to lowbloods. Because of your ACTIVISM about this corruption, you fear that you have made yourself a TARGET of the Imperials and are quite manic about keeping your identity A SECRET. It is the one truth you just can't disclose, and it TEARS YOU UP INSIDE whenever you have to avoid questions of this nature. It's... not quite that easy to hide from the authorities on alternia if you're an actual target. What I would accept is if nobody actually cares about his conspiracy theories and he's just paranoid... Infact that would justify the other concern too. If this is the case, it might be worth making it a little bit clearer.

Obviously you can be a bit NEUROTIC, and your decidedly solitary lifestyle is often being swayed by SUSPICION and CONSPIRACY, but you prefer it that way. One must suffer for the TRUTH, after all. The suffering you disdain the most though has always been the lack of SLEEP due to your wariness toward SOPOR SLIME, which you just KNOW is filled with NANOMACHINES used to PLACATE and STUPIFY those that use the foul sludge in their RECUPERACOONS. Those FOOLS. Just another plot by the IMPERIAL MACHINE. As such, you don't get much sleep, and any lapses in you consciousness are filled with NIGHTMARES of PARANOID PLOTS and other trolls COMING FOR YOU. The mere idea of having other people within arm's reach makes you want to PROJECTILE VOMIT since you're just a touch SOCIOPHOBIC. It's not that you fear or dislike others, it's just that the presense of others makes you PHYSICALLY ILL because you don't TRUST THEM as far as you could THROW THEM. Still, your HONESTY CODE dictates that everyone has a right to know, so you do what you can to SPREAD THE TRUTH even if they MAKE LIGHT of your work and lectures about the IMPERIAL PLOT. You take it all in stride though. After all, soon they'll see. THEY'LL ALL SEE. How does he spread the word about his theories without getting in trouble for it again?

Like a fraction of other odd trolls from your generation, you have a taste for MUSIC and actually favor yourself as something of MUSICIAN and COMPOSER yourself. You like it LOUD AND OFFENSIVE, and if there were enough of a musical market on the planet to require musical genres, your creations would fall quite neatly into something a little METAL and ROCK N' ROLL. But since there isn't enough of a market for that, most trolls would just call it SATISFYING ANGRY NOISE, which works just fine for you. You pass the days and nights RECORDING many SUBLIMELODIC SONGS utilizing your trusty ELECTRIC GUITAR. You post these tracks to GRUBTUBE, where you use your following to spread the ANTI-IMPERIAL MESSAGE. Not that you have much of a following since it can be pretty hard to sell a one-troll anti-establishment rockband, but those fans that you do have are devout, possibly due to your PSYCHICALLY-CHARGED VOICE. It's a fact you utterly disdain, but EVERY WORD YOU UTTER holds a hypnotic quality that makes it NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to resist, and you have absolutely NO CONTROL over it. Uh... nobody really gets psychic powers above green. I mean, it's possible, hence Vriska, but it's really, REALLY rare and Vriska is noted to be a freak of nature, so... It makes your songs much more INFLUENTIAL to anyone listening and any silly statement you speak become an UNSTOPPABLE COMMAND to any troll who hears it. You could conceivably raise an ARMY with your commands, if not for your REFUSAL to stoop to such underhanded methods; it also doesn't help that you would completely LOCK THE FUCK UP if you were ever put into a situation where you were FACE TO FACE with anyone, making it pretty USELESS in any combat situation.

To keep awake, you keep yourself busy with your miscellaneous other INTERESTS. A few of the things you enjoy include CONSPIRACY and PARANORMAL BLOGGING, being an ONLINE MUSIC CRITIC, and making BOOBYTRAPS that are intended to keep yourself safe but often end up backfiring; you were trapped in a pit for DAYS once before your lusus was able to find you after falling into a trap that you forgot about. You also just so happen to be a rather skilled LUTHIER and enjoy collecting wood and scrap metal from the surrounding forests to create better and MORE DEADLY guitars. Occasionally you'll partake in VIDEO CHATS with your closer acquaintances or even put on a LIVE SHOW.

You live alone deep in the MOUNTAIN FORESTS, hidden away from any sort of civilization. Your hive is a beautiful and expansive VILLA-TYPE AFFAIR, suitable to one of your caste, carved right into the STEEP SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN. The halls of your home TUNNEL DEEP into the mountain, making it like some sort of FUNHOUSE full of STAIRS and EMPTY ROOMS and BOOBYTRAPS, built so that no one could ever find anything. Ever. Even you GET LOST from time to time, having had to relocate your RESPITEBLOCK several time during your YOUNGER SWEEPS because you were never able to find your way back to them. On the upside, the ACOUSTICS are FANTASTIC. On the downside, it's FUCKING COLD living at a higher altitude like this.

Your LUSUS seems just fine with the arrangements though, though that's just because the bastard has all that FUR to keep himself warm. Being a large FERRET-TYPE creature as he is, he just thrives in these deep tunnels, often building random nests and blockades of his own out of MISPLACED BELONGINGS and DEAD ANIMALS. He's quite the hunter. And by hunter you mean CHEATER. He possesses the same PSYCHICALLY CHARGED VOICE as you do, lending to why he chose you as a grub; however, he doesn't have the same sense of DECENCY as you do and uses his SIREN SONG to lure animals to the edge of the mountain above where they tumble to their DEATHS on your front porch. It may feed you both easily, but it's just DISHONEST. You occasionally chide him about it in an attempt to instill some of your TRUTH VENDETTA, and then he'll rebuke by bashing your TASTE IN MUSIC and flipping over your AMPS before disappearing into the depth of the hive. Things usually get tense for a few days after that. You could just never stay ANGRY at at your FERRETFATHER's adorable face though.

If you were ever to play SGRUB, your title would be the THIEF OF KEYS, and you would wield a powerful GUITARKIND. Your would dwell in the LAND OF SHADE AND CLOCKWORK with.

Your trolltag is backmaskedBallads and you ƚɘnd ƚo ƨpɘɒk wiƚh ɒ bɒckwɒɿdƨ ɒccɘnƚ ƚhɒƚ cɒn bɘ ɒ liƚƚlɘ hɒɿd ƚo undɘɿƨƚɒnd. I like the quirk, though I'm not sure how it fits with his character.

-snip-

I'm not good at giving positive crit i.e saying things yu dun gud, but I'll try. He's got a lot of character traits and they all seem to fit together without all just being the same thing, which is good. Uh. Yeah, that's all I can really say.

[Silvy]

@Quincunx:
"His hobbies are mentioned here, but is there anything he does to support himself? One can only read novels for so long. He must have other interests since he's not social."

Can you elaborate a bit for me what you mean by this exactly? <:? Im kind of confused,,


@CrazedWormHole
From what I've noticed, the line seperating the side of his body and the right arm is a bit too short, I dont know if you were leaving it like that to connect it later, or if you made it that way, but it kind of makes his body look lopsided and stuff.
You could also add a bit more definition to the belt-like-object-brown-thing around his body, maybe using the darker brown that you used to shade the ,,, bullet shaped things((:S)), to add a shadow underneath the yellow cloak and in the part where i assume you were attempting to add definition to the thickness of the belt?
((if thats just a line for a pattern im sorry :S))

Also, its very hard to figure out where your light source is coming from! :(
I'd suggest finding a light source and sticking to it, your shading is pretty much all over the place!

Overall, it looks very nice, fixing up the facial features helped make it more proportionate as a whole.

And uhh i could go to town with anatomy but since its exaggerated ((like the actual ab sprites!)) i'll leave it alone. Hahaha! <3

[ashdenej]

Yes, I think there's either too much on the right / too little body on the left side of the sprite, CrazedWormHole. It's unbalanced.

Is there any reason why the circular clasp on his neck isn't... circular? It looks rather hand-drawn.

[CrazedWormHole]

Did some tweaking, also tried showing where the lightsource is SUPPOSED to be.

[Silvy]

If the lightsource is coming from there, the medallion should have some type of shading indicating that, and the cloak on the right side of the body should be shaded differently.
Also I dont think you would be able to see where the other eye and the part of the mouth is!
((unless you were just providing that as a reference to how his face is set up))


one moment ill fiddle with it to show you what i mean
EDIT:


Red areas are where I would have put the shading for the parts I mentioned.

except you know the frowny face shh

[CrazedWormHole]

Alright, what about this? The "eye" shadow on the wrapping is because...Well, the guy kind of gouged out his own eye. There's just a hole there.

[Silvy]

That looks a lot better!

[ashdenej]

The hole appears to extend to the very edge of the wrappings!

I think that is a bit too deformed, even considering the eye visible.

[CrazedWormHole]

Smaller hole, better?

[ashdenej]

Better.

Still, if you consider the mouth, the eye should be a lot further over to the left anyway! Possibly even visible, except hidden by that pesky strand of hair.

[scintillatingMoniker]

I would work on trying to give the illusion of depth rather than just a circle shape. The bandages around that area aren't actually moved, there's just a darker region where they're supposed to be deeper, but th elines are exactly the same so it just looks like the eye is glowing through or there's a damp spot on the outside of the bandages or something.

[CrazedWormHole]

How many times have I been uploading this character now?

[ashdenej]

It's getting better each time!

Buuuuut... if he were facing us, that hollow eye would be way out when compared with the extant eye. It doesn't match up!

[CrazedWormHole]

Let's start the new year with another sprite update.

[Monkeysky]

Is there any reason his lost eye sort of bleeds out from behind the cover?

Also, could anyone crit this image of ANOTHER fantroll of mine?


For some variations:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

[Bluesunnyday]

Hey... I haven't been on the forums in a while, and I was thinking of creating a species of alien and doing a session with that species. All I really have right now is that it's basically a race of an alien, put inside a mechanical suit from birth. Think the Daleks cross-bred with the Gundam series. If anyone else is interested in expanding on this idea, please PM me. I apoligize if this isn't the right thread, but I didn't know what to do.