Oh, made a list of most of the items and what they do.
A powerful weapon (a tad stronger than a Diamond Sword). It has an extended reach.
The obvious extention of the sword.
A stronger version of the Caledscratch that lights enemies on fire upon hit.
It's red and looks dangerous and fiery.
A sword that has a bit more power than an iron sword. It deals extra damage to Homestuck mobs (namely Derse/Prospit soldiers).
It's Jack Noir's weapon of choice, and is made for killing royalty. It's name is a pun on Regicide.
A base weapon with the basic power of an iron sword. It destroys signs at a quicker rate.
It's a hammer.
The same power as a steel hammer, but with quite the knockback.
It's a hammer with springs.
A stronger version of the Steel Hammer, with slight extended reach and bonus Grist drop rate.
Extended reach because of the telescopic bit, and bonus grist drop rate due to the books.
Fear No Anvil
A hammer with about as much strength as a diamond sword. It lights enemies on fire.
Evidently because of the sun on the back.
Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer
An uber-powerful hammer with a 1/8 crit chance and knockback.
1/8 chance being a reference to Vriska's Fluorite Octet.
Warhammer of Zillyhoo
Slightly less-powerful than the Pop-a-matic, but has knockback.
As strong as a stone sword. Used in crafting recipies.
It's not that strong, evidently.
Strength between stone and iron. Casts a small projectile when right-clicking that deals damage equal to the hit from an iron sword.
Thorns of Oglogoth
Same physical strength as the needlewands, but have a dark magic projectile that deals diamond-level damage.
What I'm missing: Riflekind, Spearkind, Clawkind, the Fluorite Octet, and the Deuce Clubs. They'll be finished soon.