The Altblood Challenge

[Raikonos]

For some time, I've been enamoured with the concept of altbloods and altkids; alternate versions of canon characters that were raised by a different guardian (if human), or have a different blood colour and lusus (if a troll). It raises the question of just what aspects of a character's personality and behaviour is intrinsic to them, and how much comes from their upbringing and social standing. Writing altcolours is just fun for me.

My other love is pesterlog fanfics, because they're fairly simple to write while still allowing for characterization and depth. Needless to say, I have a few floating around my computer. I made a word document a while back to write random altcolour pesterlogs, and the other day I decided to throw them into the fanfic thread.

After the fact, I made an offhand comment about how I need to start writing something that isn't just pesterlogs, to which mutecebu responded:

No, you mussn't! You must finish what you started and serve up the resulting hot steaming pile of fiction to feed our insatiable appetites!

Then this exchange took place:

Wait, what have I started that needs finishing? That was just a handful of pesterlog ficlets between altcoloured characters. There isn't really anything concrete that needs finishing.

Unless...

Unless I endeavour to write conversations between every possible combination of all colours of every character. Very well. Let it be so. Operation Show Up ArcFour is a go.

...

Also, if you want to do that, I should let you know; with the main 16 kids alone, you are looking at 256 possible characters (including the 16 originals in that).

That is 32640 conversations.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

I couldn't just leave that. So I made the chart.

Oh I'm sorry, I meant to say

<< THE MEGACHART >>

and

<< THE AUXILIARY CHART >>

That's right guys, it's up to us to write up conversations between each and every possible pair of altcoloured characters. We will not rest until this chart is full, or until we realize how terrible and unobtainable this idea is. Here's hoping for the former! Anyway ok so here's how this works:

- I'll be the one filling in the chart. As ArcFour put it, I am the Official Recorder of the Altblood Challenge (the challenge otherwise known as Raikonos' Boast). The chart will be linked to in this OP, as well as my sig. I'll try to keep it as up to date as possible.

- There is no overarching canon here. We're probably all going to assume that the canon colours for each character correspond to the canon character, but beyond that there is no single, canonical instance of (for example) mutantblood Sollux. If you want to use a version of a character that you used earlier and expand on it, or that someone else made, go nuts. If it fills out the chart then more power to you.

- As I have it in my head now, memos will count as a conversation between all pairs of every character involved. To counterbalance the fact that this will fill in a lot of squares at once, I'll be marking them in blue as opposed to the usual red. If anyone has any better ideas as to how to handle memos, I'm open to hearing them. Addendum: I will now only be filling cells of characters who actually interacted with each other in the memo.

- Try not to post a pesterlog that would fill an already-filled cell. I'm not going to break anyone's balls on this; if you were in the middle of writing it and someone else posted it first, don't worry about the fact that they beat you to it. Just try to aim for new horizons if possible. Blue cells (characters have been in the same memo, but have not talked one-on-one) are fair game.

-Black cells (all canon/canon pairs, and all instances of a character talking to themselves) are optional, and not required. If you want to write them anyway, feel free. "Feel free" is a bit of a theme in this thread, it seems.

-If you feel like writing something with a character or alt-character that is not a part of the chart, such as Doc Scratch or one of the post-scratch kids, you are holding up the whole process and are a detriment to the very foundation of this thread. The auxiliary chart has been added in order to display the shameful product of your hubris. jk ilu <3

- Above all else, have fun with it. This is a terrible idea and is almost certainly doomed to failure, so why don't we enjoy the ride on the way down?

Archive of pesterlogs from the fanfic thread:

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The four that started this.

Two more I wrote.

Graven_Image's grey Karkat and Gamzee

CURRENT PROGRESS: 253/32520 pesterlogs completed! (~0.778%)

Also, here's the colour codes. The text is in bold Courier, so you can copy these into Word or something and then paste the final version with the alternate post editor mode instead of having to manually add colour tags. The RGB values are given for reference, but using RGB values in colour tags appears to be impossible now, so use the hex codes. Or copy the text samples into Word and paste them into the thread with the alternate post editor, since it automatically generates hex codes anyway.

Use the alternate post editor, is what I'm saying. It's easier.

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John: #0715cd / (7,21,205)
Rose: #b536da / (181,54,218)
Dave: #e00707 / (224,7,7)
Jade: #4ac925 / (74,201,37)
Aradia: #a10000 / (161,0,0)
Tavros: #a15000 / (161,80,0)
Sollux: #a1a100 / (161,161,0)
Karkat: #626262 / (98,98,98)
Nepeta: #365b00 / (0,139,0)
Kanaya: #008141 / (0,129,65)
Terezi: #008282 / (0,130,130)
Vriska: #004182 / (0,65,130)
Equius: #000056 / (0,0,86)
Gamzee: #2b0057 / (43,0,87)
Eridan: #6a006a / (106,0,106)
Feferi: #77003c / (119,0,60)

[Graven_Image]

You have my sword.

[crash826]

And my floppy pencil.

[Metaflare]

And my shitty keyboard!

[crash826]

Just had an idea: Fic where every troll is a mutant blood except for Karkat.

[Metaflare]

Here's one between Maid of Time Aradia and Anna Harley

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apocolypseArisen [AA] began trolling artificialAgriculture [AA]
AA: hello anna
AA: oh god not another one of you!
AA: wait dont block me yet
AA: arent you wondering why i have the same initials as you
AA: no!
AA: god forbid someone else in the entire world has the same online initials as me!
AA: aaauggh!
AA: you dicks keep on bothing me for no good reason!
AA: i wish you'd stop!!! 0n0
AA: that looks stupid
AA: see!
AA: sorry
AA: its a reflex
AA: anyways
AA: im just here to test out a new cross demensional add on to trollian that my friend made
AA: it seems it works
AA: oh for crying out loud!
AA: first you claim to be aliens, now you say youre in another demension!
AA: you really like using shout poles
AA: what does that even mean!!!
AA: dammit
AA: karkat keeps on poking me
AA: im kind of borrowing his computer
AA: let me just say
AA: that not all of us are as bad as you think
AA: and that given half a chance
AA: we can actually be quite nice :)
AA: ...
AA: okay bye
apocolypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling artificialAgriculture [AA]

[Raikonos]

Added it to the chart.

I'm not going to post every time I update it because that would be redundant. I just also wanted to take the time to say that this is the best worst idea I've ever had.

[Graven_Image]

this is the best worst idea I've ever had.

That is the truest thing you've ever said.

[ArcFour]

Raikonos, I'm pretty certain you mean it's the worst best idea you've ever had. There is a DISTINCT difference, thank you very much.

And it might be good to just post whenever we reach a milestone of some sort, like "100 done!" or "Half of the Mutantblood!Nepeta's finished!" or something.

Also, I am a fan of the idea that Memos fill the squares of each pair involved, as long as every character involved gets a few good lines in. I also desperately want to see an All Dave, Every Dave Memo.

Speaking of Memos, is there any easy way to write Pesterlogs, without having to format and color every single line? I've always avoided it, because it's such a scene to do.

[Raikonos]

No, it's the best worst idea. It's a worst idea because it's so ridiculously unattainable, but it's the best of all possible worst ideas.

Also, re: formatting. The way I do it is I type them up in Word, in bold Courier and coloured like how I want them to end up. Then when I'm pasting them into the forums, I use the alternate post editor mode (the button in the upper right). It preserves font and colour when you paste, and converts them automatically to the relevant tags. It tends to create a bunch of duplicate tags, but that's usually not an issue and it's a hell of a lot quicker than manually tagging everything.

[Metaflare]

guys i may just write all the aradias

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apocolypseArisen [AA] began trolling ambiguousAllure [AA]

AA: hello
AA: hi.
AA: im reaching out to as many aradias as i can
AA: this new program is really interesting!
AA: gamzee.
AA: what does gamzee have to do with anything
AA: okay cut the bullshit gamzee.
AA: i know its you.
AA: the lengths you take to prank people...
AA: its kind of crazy!
AA: you are the third aradia to think im someone else they know
AA: its kind of funny at first but now its gettng dull
AA: just like your jokes.
AA: i am not gamzee!
AA: prove it.
AA: fine
AA: youre able to hear voices of the recently deceased and theyve been telling you to help your yellowblood to make a new game
AA: wow.
AA: youre right.
AA: youre not gamzee.
AA: hah :)
AA: youre just incredibly retarded.
AA: hey!
AA: lay off the sopor and maybe we can have a civil discussion next time.
AA: like normal trolls.
AA: 0n0
AA: that looks stupid.
AA: it does doesnt it

ambiguousAllure [AA] ceased trolling apocolypseArisen [AA]

[ArcFour]

So, it's the worst best 'best worst' idea ever? That works for me.

Also, I'm going to see about writing the All Dave, Every Dave memo (AKA 'Memo: The Davening', 'Daveception: We Have To Go Deeper', or 'A Fistful of Daves'). Because it's not like I have enough projects already.

[Raikonos]

ArcFour, I'm beginning to suspect you don't know how bests and worsts work. It has to be that because I'm never wrong.

Also Metaflare, I choose to interpret your statement as confirmation that you will be writing every pesterlog pertaining to any Aradia. That works out to 2,040 logs, I believe. It's great to hear that this thread already has someone as committed as you. I am so, so proud.


Oh shit, post 413's coming up fast! I should have held off on making this thread so that the OP could be my magnum opus. Oh well. I still have something special up my sleeve.

[Metaflare]

Also Metaflare, I choose to interpret your statement as confirmation that you will be writing every pesterlog pertaining to any Aradia. That works out to 2,040 logs, I believe. It's great to hear that this thread already has someone as committed as you. I am so, so proud.

wait what

[billybobfred]

Sign me up.

... Dunno what I actually plan to do, but this is something hilariously terribawesome that needs to be done.

[Dermonster]

Hrm... maybe.

[linkhyrule5]

I'd recommend using pesterChum itself for the logs. Pesterchum logs are saved in a bbCode version, and of course it deals with the logons and the "AA:"'s for you and whatnot. The only problem I can see with it is the timestamps, which you can find and replace away using OpenOffice and regexps.

[ArcFour]

Cool, guys! Thanks for the info!

And now I have to find Pesterchum. >_>

Is it possible to do a 'single person pesterchum', where I just send texts as both of the people, rather than having to have a second person?

[linkhyrule5]

Yeah. Open Pesterchum twice with different usernames .

And pesterchum is here.

[Raikonos]

You shouldn't NEED Pesterchum. Typing it out manually in Word has always worked for me. That said, preference is preference and I'm pretty sure Pesterchum would work, so it's up to you.

Oh yeah, for post 413 I was going to post a thing here that purported to be an enormous memo with all 256 characters at once, but then quickly devolved into "wait no this is dumb". A joke post. I ended up finally making a post in the introduction thread instead.

[zebtrestalala]

So I did a thing as well.

Tyrian Vriska and Mutant Blood Equius (sorry it's not in grey, the whole thought is that Equius would be filled with such self-loathing from being mutant that he couldn't hide it)

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-- ascendentGamblignant [AG] began trolling clandestineTaboo [CT] at 10:04 --
AG: ~Hey Equiuuuuuuuuuuuuus.~
AG: ~I heard the news!~
CT: D--What news?->
CT: D--Oh bollocks->
-- clandestineTaboo [CT] cannot change text color. Color is locked into the Empire's database --
AG: ~Hahahahaha~
AG: ~Nice try, mutant bl3O3Od!~
CT: D--But I->
AG: ~But y3Ou what?~
AG: ~Y3Ou're n3Ot a mutant bl3O3Od?~
AG: ~Y3Ou d3On't like being exp3Osed anym3Ore?~
AG: ~Y3Ou sh3Ould have th3Ought 3Of that bef3Ore y3Ou went crying t3O the Threshecuti3Oners!~
AG: ~Oh b3O3Oh3O3O, l3O3Ok at me, I'm a depressed little tr3Oll wh3O hates myself~
AG: ~Kill me, please, and save me fr3Om my AG3ONY!~
CT: D--I didn't say that->
CT: D--Not exactly->
AG: ~But we b3Oth agree that y3Ou're w3Orthless scum, right?~
CT: D--I->
CT: D--Suppose so->
AG: ~What, really?~
AG: ~Man, y3Ou're n3O fun Equius~
AG: ~I was all prepared t3O argue ab3Out h3Ow y3Ou didn't even deserve t3O live until the h3O3Ofbeasts came h3Ome!~
CT: D--I'm sorry, Lady Serket->
CT: D--But right now I have pressing matters to attend to->
AG: ~What c3Ould p3Ossibly be m3Ore imp3Ortant than talking t3O the Empress-t3O-be?~
CT: D--The end of the world->
AG: ~Oh, please tell me y3Ou didn't fall f3Or Gamzee's shtick t3O3O!~
CT: D--His shtick?->
AG: ~He's 3Obvi3Ously just bent 3Out 3Of shape that I never entertained his peace l3Oving bullshit in my plans f3Or when I rise t3O p3Ower!~
AG: ~And n3Ow he's spurting 3Out all this ap3Ocalypse n3Onsense t3O ruin my c3O3Ol!~
AG: ~What an ASSHOLE.~
CT: D--I did not get that impression->
AG: ~Are y3Ou saying I'm wr3Ong?????????????~
CT: D--No->
CT: D--Of c0.0rse not->
CT: D--But y0.0 might not have all the facts->
AG: ~Yeah right!~
AG: ~I'm the Empress!~
CT: D--To be->
AG: ~Whatever. My p3Oint is that n3O 3One in their right mind w3Ould hide anything fr3Om me!~
CT: D--I do not d0.0bt that y0.0 have the finest res0.0rces Alternia has to offer->
AG: ~RIght, 3Of c3Ourse n3Ot, because I d3O~
CT: D--But perhaps this is something 0.0tside of y0.0r jurisdiction?->
CT: D--I've been told it involves the game we are ab0.0t to play->
AG: ~Hahahaha hell n3O am I playing a game that f3Orces me t3O c3O3Operate with y3Ou!~
AG: ~Mutant~
AG: ~Muuuuuuuuuuuuutant~
AG: ~Actually, if we play a game t3Ogether...~
AG: ~I c3Ould pr3Obably just play it 3Off as an accident!~
CT: D--What?->
AG: ~Or w3Ould I even need t3O?~
AG: ~N3O 3One w3Ould miss y3Ou...~
CT: D--Heiress Serket, I really must be going.->
-- clandestineTaboo [CT] gave up trolling ascendentGamblignant [AG] at 10:21 --
AG: ~D3On't y3Ou even dare think ab3Out running away fr3Om me Equius~
AG: ~Y3Ou d3On't just LEAVE the Empress like that~
CT: D--I'm sorry->
CT: D--May I leave->
AG: ~N3O!~
AG: ~N3Ot until I'm d3One threatening y3Ou!~
AG: ~I'm g3Oing t3O make sure y3Ou pay, Zahhak!~
CT: D--For having my bl0.0d color->
AG: ~DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
CT: D--Just making sure->
CT: D--Are we done yet->
AG: ~Yes, fine, g3O get y3Ourself killed~
CT: D--Thank y0.0->
-- clandestineTaboo [CT] gave up trolling ascendentGamblignant [AG] at 10:23 --

[Raikonos]

Aw shit, I'm double-posting and nobody can stop me. I've gone mad with power!

Anyway this one is a bit less of a character study and more of a study of what it means to be the Seer of Time, via a conversation between two of them. I had these characters lying around my computer anyway, so I figured what the hell.

Being the Seer: Rose Strider and Yellowblood Terezi:

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-- guiltlessChronometer [GC] began trolling tailoredTonality [TT] --

GC: 2TR1DER
GC: WHAT ARE YOU DO1N6
TT: Testing out the equipment.
TT: Mental note: turntable time machine = fucking sweet.
TT: What’s it look like I’m doing?
GC: 1T LOOK2 L1KE YOURE M1221N6 THE PO1NT
TT: What point?
TT: The point of being a time player?
TT: Because it looks to me like I’ve got a handle on these time loops.
TT: I mean we’re talking right now, so obviously I haven’t fucked up and doomed myself yet.
GC: NO
GC: 1 MEAN YE2 YOURE DO1N6 F1NE W1TH THE T1ME LOOP2
GC: BUT YOU DONT NEED TO BE
GC: NOT F1R2THAND ANYWAY
TT: Not sure I follow.
TT: I mean I’m the time dude.
GC: DUDETTE >;]
TT: Yeah see, you’re catching on.
TT: But I mean, as I understand it my duty as the time player is to fuck around through time and make sure things go the way they’re supposed to.
GC: THAT2 BA21CALLY TRUE
GC: EXCEPT YOURE M1221N6 2OMETH1N6 1MPORTANT
GC: YOURE NOT JU2T "THE T1ME PLAYER" 2TR1DER
GC: YOU ARE THE 2EER OF T1ME
TT: Okay, two things.
TT: First, isn’t that basically what I said?
TT: And second, I am hurt that we’re not on a first-name basis yet.
TT: You’re breaking my heart here Pyrope.
GC: >:P
GC: 2ORRY RO2E
GC: 1T2 K1ND OF BECOME A HAB1T AROUND HERE EVER 21NCE OUR FEARLE22 LEADER DEC1DED WE NEED TO BE MORE 1MPER2ONAL
TT: Ampora?
GC: AMPORA
TT: Figures.
GC: BUT BACK ON TOP1C
GC: YE2 YOUR ROLE A2 THE T1ME PLAYER 12 TO PRE2ERVE THE T1MEL1NE
GC: BUT YOUR ROLE A2 THE 2EER 12 TO OB2ERVE
GC: NOT ACT
TT: Oh, okay.
TT: So Sburb wants me to do jack shit.
TT: Yeah alright I can deal with that.
GC: OF COUR2E NOT >:\
GC: 1T2 JU2T
GC: 2EER2 HAVE TO BE A B1T MORE D12TANT
GC: YOUR ROLE 12 TO PROV1DE COUN2EL FOR YOUR FR1END2 WH1LE 2TAY1NG OUT OF THE TH1CK OF TH1N62 YOUR2ELF
GC: FOR THE MO2T PART ANYWAY
TT: So, no timehopping?
TT: Wait, weren’t you the Seer of Time?
TT: You’re telling me you never once hopped in your alien police box and carved a path of nonlinear chronology through the timeline?
GC: >:?
GC: 1M 6O1N6 TO A22UME THAT WA2 2OME OB2CURE HUMAN REFERENCE TO T1ME TRAVEL
TT: Yeah it’s pretty obscure.
TT: I don’t think anybody but me would have heard of it.
GC: BUT NO 1 D1DNT
GC: MY 2PR1TE TOLD ME EARLY 1N THE 6AME HOW MY ROLE WORK2 AND 1 JU2T RAN W1TH 1T
GC: A2 THE 2EER OF T1ME YOUR JOB 12 TO 1DENT1FY POTENT1AL 2PL1T2 1N THE T1MEL1NE AND MAKE 2URE YOU DONT BRANCH OFF 1NTO A DOOMED OFF2HOOT
GC: MO2TLY BY 2POTT1N6 THEM AHEAD OF T1ME AND 1NFLUENC1N6 EVENT2 2O THAT YOU 2TAY ON THE ALPHA
TT: Okay, so why am I not timehopping?
TT: I mean, how else am I supposed to see these things coming?
GC: BY 2EE1N6 THEM COM1N6!
GC: THAT2 L1TERALLY WHAT A 2EER DOE2
TT: Well fuck.
GC: T1MEHOPP1N6 CEMENT2 YOUR 1NTERFERENCE 1N A 6IVEN EVENT 1NTO THE T1MEL1NE2 CANON
GC: OB2ERVAT1ON COLLAP2E2 THE WAVEFORM
GC: ETCETERA
TT: So, okay.
TT: Let me see if I understand.
TT: My job is basically to make a bunch of guesses about the timeline, and then make sure my bullshit doomsday predictions don’t come to pass.
TT: I have to do this, and do it right, or everyone dies in an alternate timeline that nobody will care about.
GC: HAHA
GC: PRETTY MUCH
TT: Have I mentioned how I think this game is bullshit yet?
GC: 2EVERAL T1ME2
GC: ANYWAY 1F YOURE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRECO6N1T1VE 2KILL2
GC: 1 TH1NK ONE OF YOUR FR1END2 HA2 A CRY2TAL BALL YOU COULD ALCHEM1ZE W1TH
TT: Huh.
TT: That’s a good idea actually.
TT: TIMETABLES && CRYSTAL BALL == WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY BALL
GC: WA2
GC: WA2 THAT
TT: Another super obscure reference, yes.
GC: OKAY
GC: >:S
TT: So you never did that?
TT: It was all you and your (one assumes) massive alien brain?
GC: 1 D1DNT HAVE A CHO1CE
GC: EVERYTH1NG 12 2E1ZURE L16HT2 TO ME ALREADY
GC: ADD1N6 TRAN2CHRONAL V1EW1N6 TO THE M1X 2EEMED L1KE A BAD 1DEA
TT: Oh, well.
TT: Sorry to hear about your super-epilepsy.
TT: Anyway, I’ll try it your way.
TT: Or the game’s way, whatever.
TT: But I’m keeping these timetables, for emergencies.
TT: Not gonna get caught with my pants down and be unable to fix it.
GC: 1 WOULDNT BUT 1T2 UP TO YOU
GC: 6OOD LUCK
TT: Alright.
TT: Thanks, TZ.

-- tailoredTonality [TT] ceased being trolled by guiltlessChronometer [GC] --

Gonna be honest here and say that my perception of how the Seer of Time works was basically ripped wholesale from The Game, and Those Who Play. big ups to arcfour wooo

e: damn my double post was foiled

Haha, zebtrestalala. That was a damn good pesterlog, but I just couldn't stop hearing Equius's lines in a Scottish accent. "The game we are aboot to play."

[random1]

Canon Vriska trolling Brown!Vriska

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arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adequateGamer [AG]
AG: Wh8t the f8ck d8 y8u th8nk y8u 8re d8ing l8ser!!!!!!!!
AG: I’m, uh, winning at Flarp?
AG: I me8n the loot, y8u us8less wiggler!!!!!!!!
AG: W8y the f8ck are you letting th8se 8ther us8less tr8lls take y8ur loot????????
AG: Well, uh, they are my teammates and uh?
AG: TEAMM8S!!!!!!!!
AG: W8Y TH8 F8CK D8 Y8U N88D T8AMM8S!!!!!!!!
AG: Y8U 8RE VRISKA SERKET!!!!!!!!
AG: TH8T M8ANS Y8U 8RE TH8 8EST!!!!!!!!
AG: Y8U D8 N8T N8ED 8NY8NE!!!!!!!!
AG: Uh, wow Tavros, you seem really, uh, supportive today?
AG: 8888 888 8888 888 888 8888 8888 88!!!!!!!!
AG: Uh?
AG: What the f8ck did you just call me? >::::(
AG: Uh, supportive?
AG: I meant w8y the f8ck did you think I was that useless shit8lood Tavros????????
AG: Wait, you uh, aren’t Tavros?
AG: No.
AG: I am not Tavros.
AG: Then, uh, who are you?
AG: I am Vriska Serket.
AG: Gr8er of the Scourge Sisters.
AG: Heir to the Marquise Mindfang.
AG: Terror of Alternia’s Seas.
AG: I am not that idi8t Pupa. >::::(
AG: Uh, but I’m Vriska Serket?
AG: N8t anymore shit8lood.
AG: You aren’t worth the name.
AG: Never call yourself 8y my name again.
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adequateGamer [AG]
AG: Uh?

[zebtrestalala]

Hey dude, just letting you know, Vriska doesn't normally abuse 8's that much.

ANd Raikonos, I was a little nervous about those two having completely different quirks but I'm glad you liked it. Equius substitutes double o's and ou's into 0.0, or 0%, just to cement his worthlessness. Vriska takes o's and puts a 3 in front and capitalizes it to make it seem like a head wearing a tiara.

[Varkarrus]

duuuuuude unblack that big diagonal line so we can have past and future conversations!!!

otherwise known as

rhapsody in crab: a study in temporal arguments spanning uncountable universes