Eaan: Equip SHITTY AIRSOFT GUN.
It looks like ["The Man"] wants to fight or something. (God, highlighting his name is getting real fucking redundant.) Shit, you don't even know if he's the real thing, but whatever. You better get to equipping your weapons.
You equip your SHITTY AIRSOFT GUN. You're pretty sure it'll take care of this dude, whatever the fuck he is. Weirdo.