HONKSTUCK: Relapses are for suckers. (COMPLETE)

[Hatta]

A young man lies alone in his bedroom. It just so happens that he cannot remember a single thing about himself. Although he cannot remember anything, he has decided upon awakening that he really needed a name.

What will the name of this young man be?

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you are not prepared
...
or maybe you are. there's a lot more to this one then meets the eye. ;D

THREAD NAMES

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HONKSTUCK: Let's blow this joint. (Act One)
HONKSTUCK: One bong hit, Two bong hit, Three bong hit, Floor. (Interlude)
HONKSTUCK: You know you're a stoner when ya put on sunglasses to see better at night. (Act Two)
HONKSTUCK: You do not know that you are a stoner, but in fact are.
HONKSTUCK: Wait, this looks awfully familiar....??! (ACT TWO PART TWO)
HONKSTUCK: Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of good pot. (Act Three)
HONKSTUCK: Relapses are for suckers. (END)

[Hatta]

It seems that the impatient author even got your sorry butt out of bed! How convenient. Blast! If only you had a name, maybe you could get things rolling.

[IPadDoodler]

> Ivan Newton.

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+1 Reader, I'm suscribing!

[Hatta]

Your name, you decide on a whim, is Ivan Newton. While you have plenty idea what kind of hobbies exist (which is quite the motherfucking miracle) YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S YOURS. Why? You truly don't remember anything about yourself. You kind of figure this is your room, as it has quite the homely feel to it, but that's about it. There's also a little thought in the back of your head that wonders why you were sleeping in your jeans. (.. if they are yours, that is. ew.)

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FIXED(this adventure is set up for speedy commands, btw)

[supajackle]

>examine bottle on the floor

[Hatta]

>examine bottle on the floor

It appears to be, from what you can see, a delicious bottle of FAYGO, the grape kind. You figure you must have left it there, or something.

[supajackle]

>check your pockets, you may find out something about yourself (or whoever the owner of the pants is)

[Hatta]

>check your pockets, you may find out something about yourself (or whoever the owner of the pants is)

You check your pockets, but you find nothing but some POCKET LINT and some FAINT TRACES OF STARDUST.

Weird.

[Cyros]

>Be careful not to sniff the stardust left on your hands!

[The Mather1]

>Suddenly: Horns.

[Copygoo]

>HONK

[IPadDoodler]

>Check out your RAD posters

[Auron10124]

> Drink the Faygo

[Snowyowl]

>Check drawers.

[Hatta]

>Be careful not to sniff the stardust left on your hands!

You are pretty sure you don't WANT to sniff the stardust left on your hands. Far as you know, it could be a drug or something. Double ew.

>Suddenly: Horns.

>HONK

What? You don't see any cars. Unless you are talking about a vocal honk, you'd look really stupid doing that.

>Check out your RAD posters

You take a brief moment to soak up the awesome that is your RAD posters. Wait. RAD? When was the last time someone used the word RAD?
..
You distract yourself again by inspecting the contents. On the left poster it seems to be an INSPIRING ASTRONAUT POSTER, basically with some space man giving a thumbs up for all the little tykes with aspiring space.. problems. Whatever, the one on the right seems to be some sort of SWIMMING SEAGOATDRAGON, which kind of looks like that one thing from that one movie.

>Check drawers.

You open the drawers. While the top one seems to not carry anything, the bottom one is flowing in supply (yeah right). It's contents are a PIECE OF STRING and a HUNK OF CHEESE. You stuff them both in your pockets and close the drawers, for artistic sense.

[Hatta]

> Drink the Faygo

You drink and you just don't care.

[martia]

Ivan: eat peanut butter and jelly for breakfast.


umm, hi, fellow cradle-dweller!!

[IPadDoodler]

>Go downstairs to reap the spoils of breakfast, but not before giving a wistful look to the stars on the ceiling.

[Hatta]

Ivan: eat peanut butter and jelly for breakfast.


umm, hi, fellow cradle-dweller!!

>Go downstairs to reap the spoils of breakfast, but not before giving a wistful look to the stars on the ceiling.

You would be more then happy to go do this, but it appears that the door is locked.
Well that's just great.
You look wistfully at the stars anyway.

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sup fallow cradle-ees.

[The Mather1]

>Hunk of cheese: Actually not be a typo.

[Hatta]

>Hunk of cheese: Actually not be a typo.

You're too busy freaking out to care about such things as typos.

[The Mather1]

>Hunk of cheese: Bust out of drawer and talk some sense into this boy.

[supajackle]

>check under bed

[supajackle]

>check under the bed

[Hatta]

>Hunk of cheese: Bust out of drawer and talk some sense into this boy.

The HUNK OF CHEESE, which was in your pocket, is removed from your pocket.
While it cannot talk, you be considerate and give it some narration of your own.

shosh be quiet its ok you aren't stuck this is just an accident shosh shosh its ok ill be your friend im not a lie ok shosh shosh sh-

You have calmed down.