SBURB is: The Cartoon Network

[Ouroboros]

Consorts: be Pit vipers

> Coop: D... Dad?

> Striders: Ironytech level 53: Semi-ironic tearful reunion

[Grand Mal]

Consorts: be Pit vipers

> Coop: D... Dad?

> Striders: Ironytech level 53: Semi-ironic tearful reunion

A/N: To new readers- they are no longer the striders. Sorry to confuse!

>Why are we watching this when we could be watching BATMAN (and/or Juniper Lee)?

Batman is a fictional character in this universe. I am so unbelievably sorry. And to include Juniper Lee in this thing would be a horrible tragedy, as the entire magical community she is in charge of would be wiped out by certain destruction.

Instead, we focus on the three teams of humans that will partake in THE GAME, and the Mobius Triple Reacharound that will occur. We have already introduced two of the three team-leaders, and now we skip thousands of years ahead, to when the third will start his migration.

ENTER NAME:

Your name is FINN THE HUMAN.

It just so happens that today is your fifteenth birthday. You take great enjoyment in your profession, which consists of beating the everloving S*** out of evildoers. Much chaos and darkness threatens the totally sweet land of Ooo, but when the chips are down, only a boy and his magic dog can save it. That's you and your buddy/roommate/adoptive brother Jake, respectively.

You also partake in games, from time to time, and have recently salvaged the mother of all immersing simulations, something called SBURB beta. Carbon dating has placed its origin squarely in the forbidden era, when humans were as common as all hell. You hope it will tell you something about your ancestry.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

[Curris]

Finn ==> Consult ancient Wise Sage about relics from the Forbidden Era.

Ancient Wise Sage ==> Be Samurai Jack. Be very interested in the rumors that Sburb messes around with Weird Time Shit.

[KnittingHamster]

Finn: Try to install beta on BMO.

[Grand Mal]

Finn: Try to install beta on BMO.

You don't try, you do. Unfortunately, not having anything close to a chat client, you have coordinated the exact time you and your server player, Princess Bubblegum, will start. She is a very busy woman, so it was especially hard, but you have managed to negotiate the right date, wink wink.

She will connect to Marceline, who would only agree to join if she could choose her server player. You still don't know who it is. What a mysterious lady! You hope to eventually be Jake's server once all is said and done. But for now, you and bubblegum work in tandem to enter the medium-

OH, DEAR GOD, JAKE!!!

Now, time fer a-choosin' of Finns' land. Sorry for the briefness.

[Curris]

Ice-land. . . It's the only land that has decent signal. . . (I am not as familiar with Adventure Time as I should be. I know, I know, I'm a bad person!)

Ice-King ==> Do that thing you always do. You know, the annoying thing. . .

[The Fiend]

Gunter==> Do a little dance pon Ice King's head. And then break stuff.

[Bluesunnyday]

Land of Candy and Sun

Finn's Title: Be the Adventurer of Time.

[cryptidWrangler]

>Land of Ruin and Adventure

[Auron10124]

> Land of Sand and Wastes

[Psiberpunk]

Land of Trees and Bridges

[Grand Mal]

Ice-King ==> Do that thing you always do. You know, the annoying thing. . .

Gunter==> Do a little dance pon Ice King's head. And then break stuff.

You cannot be the ice king, as the order of playable characters in this adventure must go from client to server. Feel free to hop to any one of the three teams, though

You, however, can be relatively unimportant characters for brief periods of time, and so are now Gunther. You prepare for a re-enaction of the introduction number of Vaslav Nijinsky's master choreography for Stravinsky's the Rite of Spring, one of your all time favorites. However, having proportions far different from that of a human, you just look like a stupid little douche waggling all over some blue loser's head. Also, being a bird, and unable to control anal sphincter functions, you S*** all over Ice Kings crown. You then accidentally break a desk lamp when her tosses you off in disgust. This is not a fine day for artistic expression.

> Land of Sand and Wastes

The SCOUT OF TIME takes his place in the LAND OF SAND AND WASTES.

Oh, what a mystery, this worlds' ancient, monolithic cartridges of stone. The largest is said to face Skaia, and, if one were to scratch its' surface, it would fly off to the Core, where it may rewrite the passage of time itself. The Horned Toads whose villages dot the landscape speak of this prophecy, and their rule states it is only a possibility. Even so, some still quake with fear at the Scratches' potential.

The ancient one, Hepheastus, was said to drain the land of its' water in a fury, then fell into dormancy from the effort. Only the Scout could cause the flow of time to work in a cycle once more, and restore the steady beat of the sparse rains.

For now, the Scouts' treehouse rests on a chimney rock, one that offers and amazing view. However, said view goes unnoticed, as he hugs the dog that had only recently came staggering through the door, bloody. He asks the dog how he was injured, and how he was revived. Of the former, the dog can tell. Of the latter, the dog knows only vaguely that the Game is responsible.

The newly formed sprite feels the gentle weight of Skaia on his mind. But he also feels something else.

Something wrong.

[swampmist1142]

Well, how did it happen?

[cryptidWrangler]

Well, how did it happen?

He got prototyped.

[swampmist1142]

no, I mean how did he get hurt?

[Grand Mal]

Well, how did it happen?

JAKESPRITE: i dunno if you want to hear it, its' pretty disturbing.
FINN: dont care man a bros gotta know!
JAKESPRITE: okay, well. i was testing out this sword at the goblin smiths' shop FOOOOOOLISH HOUUUUND and all of a sudden, this weird, evil force, like, came over meIT WAS I, MUTTBEAST and i started stabbing myself.
JAKESPRITE: i don't know if it was a cursed sword, or what, THE WEAPON AWAKENED I, THE IMMORTAL AKU, SIMPLETON so i just hightailed it out of there, leaving it behined.
FINN: oh dude thats horrible! just think of what would have happened if the game hadn't saved your life!
JAKESPRITE: i'd prefer not to YOU SHOULD, FOR YOU ARE A MERE VESSEL, A PRISON FOR MY POOOOOOOOWWEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR THAT YOU THIEVED FROM ME.
FINN: sure bro!
JAKESPRITE: CEASE REPRODUCTION
FINN: what?
JAKESPRITE: i didn't say anything.

[Curris]

Plot Twist ==> Pat yourself on back for excellent developments. . .

Finn ==> Survey the surrounding landscape? Can you get down from the Chimney Rock Treehouse?

Dexter Labsmith ==> Do you smell fire? I smell fire. . .

[The Idea Master]

Finn and jake > advencher time!!one!1!eleven

[Grand Mal]

Plot Twist ==> Pat yourself on back for excellent developments. . .

Finn ==> Survey the surrounding landscape? Can you get down from the Chimney Rock Treehouse?

Dexter Labsmith ==> Do you smell fire? I smell fire. . .

Aw, thanks!

It doesn't look like you can climb down. The drop is wicked far, and the sides are crazy steep, yo. Princess bubblegum, however, has procured a walkthrough, written by a legendary and mysterious figure, who played the game in the forbidden era itself. This figure was called "itchySunglasses," and your only clue to their real name was the initials "N.U". In any case, the walkthrough is what guides bubblegum now. She keeps adding levels onto your house, which is all kinds of sweet. Touring around the new floors, you come across a strange blue slime in a dank corner. The cursor has scrawled "NEED GRIST" with the slime. You love-

like, like, you mean like.

You like bubblegum to death, but she needs to be specific at times, and- Whoa, hey now!

Looks like this game has some top-notch enemies! This SAPPHIRE IMP keeps trying lunge at you. He's got this weird horn dealie-formation on his head, a crazy dog muzzle, and GREAT, FLAAAAAAAMING EYEBROWS. This thing seems to have inherited some of Jake's shapshifting power, but its puny imagination severely limits its potential. You make short work of the thing with your BLADEKIND abstratus. This strange technology, along with the CAPTCHALOUGE CARDS, was unearthed in the same Lotus Time Capsule as the game, and you are LOOOVING IT!

Anyway, the Imp explodes into a torrent of grist. Bubblegum scrawls on the wall to pick it up, then follow the cursor, remembering to bring the captchalouge deck. This whole affair is quite mysterious.

Also, Curris, is that last command a reference to something...?

[Curris]

OOC ==> GREAT FLAAAAAAMING EYEBROWS ARE THE BEST EYEBROWS!

Dexter ==> Ensure integrity of laboratory. . . Science must be ever vigilant!

[Grand Mal]

Dexter ==> Ensure integrity of laboratory. . . Science must be ever vigilant!

After a panicked log from Dee Dee describing an impact and a giant crater in the back yard, you quickly run a basic diagnostic check. Apparently, after you created and twisted the Cruxite Bolt, all of the systems' external sensors went offline. It can't even deduce the source of its' power! Apart from that, though, everything is fine. You don't know what Dee Dee was blabbing about. Probably trolling you.

Wait! The preserved corpse of your beloved pet monkey floating in front of you? How can this be? Your sister said something about "dragging him into the seizure-thingy", but you payed her no head, as you were too busy pretending to examine the Alchemeter (in reality wondering if this game would let you fight aliens and doesn't afraid of anything). She also said something about dragging Dexbot Mark III, and it is apparent, as you move closer, that the monkey has mechanical features. The game clearly has capabilities beyond the simple distortion of space!

MONKEYSPRITE: hi dexter!
DEXTER: What? How? Who?
MONKEYSPRITE: lets see if i can tell you what happened
MONKEYSPRITE: hmm... i was fighting crime but then i beat the crime but then i was hurt pretty bad
MONKEYSPRITE: so i managed to crawl back here but i died :(
MONKEYSPRITE: i dont know what happened then but the game brought me back to life! :)
DEXTER: Amazing! Don't you realize what this means!
DEXTER: The very foundations of modern science could be- wait, did you say fighting crime?
MONKEYSPRITE: yes! im sorry that i kept the secret from you but you seem pretty okay with keeping secrets about really big things unless youre a hypocrite which wouldnt be good
MONKEYSPRITE: but yes that experiment you did on me once worked and i used new powers to fight evil
MONKEYSPRITE: it doesn't really matter that i keep it a secret now seeing as the humans are about to go extinct
DEXTER: What?! You are certainly dropping a heavy load on me, good sir!
MONKEYSPRITE: well all the humans on earth are going extinct
MONKEYSPRITE: but you and your friends will survive
DEXTER: Uh... All riiiiiight... and I take it that Sburb has a hand in this? I'm not saying I believe all of it, I just want to know.
MONKEYSPRITE: yes it does! the game is how you will escape from the apocolypse!
MONKEYSPRITE: im sorry but i cant give you any more details until you keep moving up on your quest
DEXTER: And what exactly is the next step?
MONKEYSPRITE: fight that coral imp

What? You- augh!!!

It looks like this will be action game! One half of your rational brain claims this is an immersive simulation. The other says it can't be, or it would have come with some type of interface. One way or the other, fight or flight instincts kick up and you choose...

FLIGHT! FLIGHT! OH DEARGODDEARGODDEARGODFLIGHFLIGHTFLIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!! !!

In a sick twist of irony, the imp has attributes of both Monkey and Dexbot. It trundles after you with the deadly agility of a primate and the extreme speed of a Dexlabs(TM) creation. Oh, curse your marvelous ingenuity! Most of all curse Dee Dee! Her prototyping probably caused this mutation.

Hiding in one of the labs' destitue corners, you retrieve your fetch modus, Gear, and your strife specibus, Wrenchkind. These mysterious abstractions came in the mail, along with your beta copy, and have provided both and interesting topic of study and a totally sweet inventory. You through a spare spring from the capthalouge deck at the assaulter, who is fouling your proud lab, to get his attention, then retrieve your trusty WRENCH OF MONOTONY. Now that you are prepared, and have stopped crying to yourself, it's strifetime.

[Sneak.QQ]

At first I was like "this is the greatest thing ever." Then I saw "i'm called Plank" and was like "THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.

[Ouroboros]

> Attempt to unbolt its limbs without killing it. Then dissect it to study its composition.

[Grand Mal]

> Attempt to unbolt its limbs without killing it. Then dissect it to study its composition.

Doable! Fighting these things is F***ing easy! Now if you could just- What? It exploded into abstract fruit gushers! this will absolutely not do. You decide to contact Dee Dee on computress' monitor.

Hm.. she's offline. Two other people are messaging you. One is that godawful troll, and the other is...

Oh my.

Better go against your best instincts and reply. There will be blood if you don't.

What should you talk to her about?

[Loreweaver]

This is so beautiful. +1 subscriber.