If SBURB had achievements, what would they be?

[Ouroboros]

Centrants: Participate in a romantic system that requires advanced calculus to understand.

Alcaprentice: Alchemize any object.

Alchemist: Alchemize an object beyond your home planet's magic/technology level.

Alchemaster: Alchemize an object that breaks the physical laws of your home planet.

Stoned Philosopher: Alchemize an object while high.

Cabin boy/girl: Have a shipping wall.

Cartographer: Have at least one ship on your shipping wall come true.

Captain: Have all ships on your shipping wall come true.

Fair fight: Challenge any boss-level character to fisticuffs.

Bully! Defeat any boss-level character in a match of fisticuffs without cheating.

"Fair fight": Cheat in a match of fisticuffs.

A minor request: Buy any creature's soul.

It don't mean nothin if it ain't got soul: Buy 10 souls.

I'm a soul man: Buy 100 souls.

Unyielding: Continue to fight after being rendered medically dead.

Whoops: Accidentally commit genocide.

Puppetmaster: Manipulate Doc Scratch into helping you.

The Cheater of Haxxors: Have multiple titles at once.

Natural 20: Succeed at any task through pure luck while having no idea what you're doing.

Fuck it: Destroy Skaia before the reckoning starts.

All gone all gone all gone all gone: Be driven insane by the destruction of your home planet.

[CNR4806]

Game Developer - Create an achievement
Developement Supervisor - Create an achievement about creating an achievementb
Division head - Create an achievement about creating an achievement about creating an achievement
Like a boss - Create an achievement about creating an achievement about creating an achievement about creating an achievement

[BubblegumPatty]

Dead Parents are best parents : Be an Orphan/ without a guardian.
It's a Tough Life, for us Have all or most of the players be orphans (I.E. No guardian to speak of)
Oh Shit Everyone in the car! : Have your entrance into the medium be (atemptively) sabotaged by your guardian. Motherfucking Parent of the year.

[silly chili]

Myst-Stuck: Use a walkthrough for [S] ACT 6, ACT 3

[Myon]

Here be some frog achievements.

Bilious Sprite - Prototype your sprite with a frog.
Your weapon is...what!? - Use the Frogkind strife specibus.
Frogger - Find your first frog.
I Can't Let You Do That, Dave - Attempt to alchemize a frog.
Frog Squash - Kill an underling by ejecting a frog from your sylladex.
ILLEGAL CONTRABAND - Rescue a frog from a Doomed Timeline.
Oh, Hoppy Day! - Find 413 frogs.
Oh, Hoppier Day! - Find 612 frogs.
Oh, Hoppiest Day! - Find 1111 frogs.
Batarachian Creation - Successfully breed the Genesis Frog.
Kermit The Omnipotent - Ensure that one of the ingredients of your First Guardian is a frog.
I'm Not Not Licking Toads - Use a frog to get high.
Help Me Jegus - While high from frog, confront your Denizen.
Tigers Are Not Frogs - Use a frog to kill yourself on a quest bed and gain God Tier.
Mine Name Is Glenn - As a Knight, use the Frogkind strife specibus for the majority of your session.
Masters of the Universe - Be part of a session where the last hit on the final boss was done with the Frogkind strife specibus.
Moreyagami - Get all the frog achievements. All of them.

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Yasakatome-no-mikoto - Before claiming the Ultimate Reward, defeat a player with the "Moreyagami" achievement in strife.

[runicArtist]

ALL the luck Defeat 5 or more enimies without using a weapon/use DICEKIND
Nothings there Be a Hero of Void
SPAAAACE Be a Hero of Space
BOING Alchemise a Pogo Hammer
Goodbye my friend Protect a friend from a fatal blow, but get killed in the proces
Guess whos back? Reach God-tier
More ways then one Reach God-Tier using an alternet quest bed
hOnK Eat a sopur pie
What pumpkin? Find a Pumpki- wait, what was i talking about?
NOPE Be chased by 2 or more ogres or be chased by 10 or more imps
I "seer" you Be a Seer of ???
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?! Use DRILLKIND and defeat 20 enimies.
Ultimate Power Perform a Fraymotif
Unbreakable Union Perform a Fraymotif with someone else.
Elric Alchemise 20 diffrent items
Wear the scarf Ride the pony
Well......fuck Be in a doomed timeline

[BubblegumPatty]

Please, Cherub : Befriend a Cherub.
You can't escape : Be chased by the red miles.
Two Face : Share a body with an entirely different personality.
Sleeping beauty : Take a Nap and never wake up.
Epileptic Trees : Make Crazy theories about SPURB or other pressing matters.

[Kaleb702]

Backdoor: Be Andrew Hussie. (This achievement automatically unlocks all other achievements, even if they conflict with each other or are impossible to be gained.)

[invisibleTerrarium]

This is my favorite thread ever. And I am glad to say that I put off playing tons of video games to make this huge friggin' thing. WORDBOMB AHEAD!

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Epic Fail: Let someone else prototype your sprite without your consent.
What Is This I Don't Even Prototype with an inanimate object.
You Win The Internet Examine the broken electricity wires outside your house.
Why? Prototype your sprite with an Underling.
Screw The Universe Realize that everyone in your universe is dead. Don't care.
Cheater Complete the above achievement while grimdark.
Paradox Go grimdark as a Hero of Light.
Great Advice Alchemize at least eight computers.
Genre Savvy Use the SBURB Cursor to kill 20 imps.
Grist Waster Create 20 Perfectly Generic Objects.
How? Kill 10 imps with PerfectlyGenericObjectKind.
Asplosions Blow up your first gate/use Explosiveskind
Cheater II Rescue your genesis frog from death.
This Is Stupid Reenact the bunny scene from Con Air.
True Potential Reach God Tier.
Do The Windy Thing Have your session's Hero of Breath successfully God Tier.
All The Luck Have your session's Hero of Light successfully God Tier.
Shenanigans Have your session's Hero of Time successfully God Tier.
It's Over Nine Thousand Have your session's Hero of Space successfully God Tier.
Do The Lifey Thing Have your session's Hero of Life successfully God Tier.
Blew A Fuse Have your session's Hero of Void successfully God Tier.
What Kind Of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway? Have your session's Hero of Heart successfully God Tier.
White Sciences Have your session's Hero of Hope successfully God Tier.
Black Liquid Sorrow Have your session's Hero of Doom successfully God Tier.
Pretty Colors Have your session's Hero of Blood successfully God Tier.
Brainpower Have your session's Hero of Mind successfully God Tier.
Rage Against The System Have your session's Hero of Rage successfully God Tier.
Inheritance Be an Heir.
I Can See Into Forever Be a Seer.
Where's My Squire Be a Knight.
Ding Dong Be a Witch.
You Rang Be a Maid.
With His Merry Men Be a Rogue.
Draw Me A Sheep Be a Prince. (Lol if anyone gets this)
Novelist Be a Page.
Majjyyks Be a Mage.
Sylph Dyplomacy Be a Sylph.
Step Off It's Mine Suckas Be a Thief.
Codpiece Powers Be a Bard.
Passive Master Be a Muse.
Active Master Be whatever uu's class turns out to be.
Hero Of Legend Complete your Myth Arc.
First is Worst Be the first one to enter The Medium.
Second Is Best Be the second one to enter the Medium.
Third Is The One With The Treasure Chest Be the third one to enter the Medium.
Last Dibs Be the last one to enter the Medium.
Helpful Write a Gamefaqs entry for SBurb.
Impossiburb Pronounce SBurb correctly.
Driven Mad By The Revelation Contact the horroterrors.
Composer Alchemize a time travel instrument.
This Is Getting Old Get your dreamself killed.
It's Like It Never Happened Have your dreamself come back to life after being killed.
Hey That's Mine Steal something from your past self or your guardian's past self.
Boom Blow up 20 robots with a sword.
This Is Getting Old II Get knocked out three times.
I G0t Better Die, then come back to life in a different way than God Tiering.
All-Knowing Self-prototype.
Hard Mode Win the game with a disability.
High-Level Psionic Acquire psionic powers.
Shoosh Pap Calm down a raging teammate.
Trauma Conga Line Witness two deaths of your friends.
Fangirl Keep a shipping wall.
A-Blah, A-Blah Become a vampire or a rainbow drinker.
2x Optical Disorder Combo Go blind.
It Keeps Happening Lose an arm and an eye.
Muscle Milk Be STRONG.
BlAsPhEmY Have your religion ruined.
Wwell You Suck More Murder your matesprit.
Irony Be a Hero of Life and die.
X-Ray Vision Acquire Vision Eightfold.
Thief Of Life Die.
Tell Me I'm Beautiful Be a cherub.
Honk Honk Be a troll.
It's Always Aliens Be a human.
How Did You I Don't Even Win the game without any guardians dying.
Seems To Be A Recurring Theme Pet a first guardian.
By The Books Prototype with something dead or doomed.
How Is It Talking Prototype with two inanimate objects.
You There, Boy Be contacted by an exile.
Be The Mayor Have your exile be the Wayward Vagabond.
It Never Fails Have your exile be the Peregrine Mendicant.
I Am The Law Have your exile be the Aimless Renegade.
What Other Words Start With Q Have your exile be the Windswept Questant.
Calignous Have your exile be Spades Slick.
Pale Have your exile be Diamonds Droog.
Auspicious Have your exile be Clubs Deuce
Conciliatory Have your exile be Hearts Boxcars.
Magic Eight Ball Have your exile be Snowman.
You're Screwed Communicate with Doc Scratch.
You're Screwed-er Summon Lord English.
Impressive Defeat your Denizen and collect the grist hoard.
Play Nice Come to an agreement with your Denizen.
Persuasive Speech Convince your Denizen to hand over the grist hoard without fighting him/her.
Play Dirty Trick your Denizen into giving up the grist hoard.
Like The Stupid Fox Show, Only Better Have your Denizen offer you the Choice.
You've Learned Well, Young Padawan Make the right decision when offered the Choice.
Epic Fail II Make the wrong decision when offered the Choice.
Cool Friend Befriend your Denizen.
Glub Have your consorts be salamanders.
... Have your consorts be turtles.
Nak Have your consorts be crocodiles.
Thip Have your consorts be iguanas.
Impslayer Kill 20 imps. (I will be surprised if anyone gets the pun in the name of this achievement.)
Ogre Owner Kill 20 ogres.
Basilisk Basher Kill 20 basilisks.
Lich Licker Kill 20 liches.
Giclops Gorer Kill 20 giclopses.
Well That Was Anticlimactic Blow up your house.
Hey, You're Not Supposed To Be Here Visit Skaia.
Rejected Learn the Strife technique Abjure.
Chicken Abscond from five Strifes.
But I Don't Want The Martini Learn the Strife technique Abstain.
Death Of A Thousand Cuts Aggrieve 20 times in one Strife.
Grow A Backbone Learn the Strife technique Accede.
Master Defender Auto-Parry 3 times in one Strife.
Variant Use the Auto-Perrier.
Variant II Use the Auto-Pirate.
Variant III Use the Auto-Harley.
Variant IV Use the Oglo-Parry.
What Happened To The Sleuth Use the Youth Roll.
Like A Boss Use the Dude Dodge.
It Keeps Happening II Do an Acrobatic F*cking Pirouette or an 4CROB4T1C F*CK1NG P1ROU3TT3.
What Was The Point Of This Again Be hit by a Guardian Rubric.
The Power's Out, Stupid Perform an Empty Suicide Threat.
The Power's On, Stupid Perform an Actual Suicide Threat.
Sweet Brah Perform a SWEET CATCH.
First Dibs Be the first of your session to God Tier.
How Does That Even Work God Tier at the exact same time as another player in your session.
Atypical Ascension Ascend on the backup Quest Bed in the heart of Derse.
Golden Towers Be a Prospit dreamer.
Obsidian Towers Be a Derse dreamer.
As Luck Would Have It Have your exile be the same species as your dream planet.
Dutton Bubble Goggles Alchemize something stupid.
Hard Reset Scratch the session.
Wait What Visit Prospit or Derse as your waking self.
Skaian Double Reacharound Prototype Skaia more than four times.
Making Progress Light the Forge.
Ribbit Visit the Frog Temple.
Ribboom Destroy the Frog Temple.
You Win, Sort Of Visit the Veil.
Ribblast Perfect the Ultimate Alchemy and create the Genesis Frog.
First Steps Enter the Medium.
TGINTTL Create a doomed timeline.
Muchas Smuchas For El Conkisstador Be revived by a kiss.
Muchas Smuchas From El Conkisstador Revive someone with a kiss.
Painfully Obvious Go grimdark.
Split Personality "Be" someone else

It took 20 minutes to put all four other posts into one and put the bold tags on them. Enjoy.

[say32]

You're No Fun!: Play a game of SBURB as it is meant to be played (yes, with two players.)
Yellow and Purple: Have two dream-selves. (If you have Two-Face, you have this acheivement.)
Irony: Destroy the universe that created you.
Mobius Double Headache: Create the universe that created you.
Why!!!????: Be a bard of rage.

[Sightedjt]

Power hungryUse ectobiological shenanigins relating to your infant self to let you obtain first guardian powers

[cmow]

Mobius Double Clusterfuck Arrange a non-planar graph of client-server connections amongst your players

[BubblegumPatty]

InvisibleTerrarium, It'll be better if you put all those achivements into one post. preferably under a Spoiler tag because hot damn that's a lot of achievements.


Lupin would be proud :Steal all items in your session that is of value.
Robin Hood would be proud : Steal valuables from Denizens/Royalty and give them to your consorts/the underlings.
Hannibal would be proud : Torture and kill everyone in your session.
Gotta captch 'em all : Captchalouge one of every entity in your session.
You don't know Jack : Meet your session's Jack Noir.

[invisibleTerrarium]

Um, yeah. Sorry. -_-" still kinda new to the whole forum thing.

[FFOBOC]

IT KEEPS HAPPENING
fall down 150 flights of stairs

WELCOME TO ATOP THE FOURTH WALL
Break through 314 fourth walls

DRUNKEN MASTER
Enter S____B While drunk

SHIFT KEY MASTER
write every chat entry in FULL CAPSLOCK RAGE

[BubblegumPatty]

DreamCeption : Have your dreamself dream/be knocked out as your dreaming/knocked out.

[WackoMcGoose]

Necrodoof: Learn the forumKind strife technique "Necropost" and invoke it ironically.
Rung Skipper: Get the tiger before maxing out your normal echeladder.
All the levels. Not all of them.: After ascending without maxing the normal echeladder, max out the god-tier ladder.
The Sburban Dream: Get up to one boonbond without using LOHACSE time shenangans or Virtual Porkhollowing to other players/sessions.
Ultimate Level Grinder: Get enough grist for the Ultimate Alchemy without obtaining a Denizen's grist hoard.
Planetary Tangle Buddies: Crash Derse into Prospit so that their moon-chains get wrapped around each other.
What Battlefield?: Protect Skaia from the Reckoning by captchaloging it.
What Meteors?: Protect Skaia from the Reckoning by captchaloging every meteor in the Veil, other than stable-loop-critical meteors like the Frog Temple and ectobabies.
Uh, What?: Reprogram the Skaia Defense Portals to send meteors back at themselves.
Nice Job Breaking It, King Dunkass: Reprogram the Skaia Defense Portals to send meteors to Derse.

[Bluesunnyday]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!: Kill a Horrorterror

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

JEGUS BUCKING GRIST!: Kill 100 horses at once.

[Zagazo]

Plain Jane:
Finish your Sburb session without alchemizing your clothing or ascending into God Tier.

Boring Betsy:
Bore a teammate into falling alseep and waking up on Prospit/Derse.

Bringin' Home a Baby Bumblebee:
Capture any type of bee, captchalogue it, and present to your guardian.

Mirror, Mirror:
Alchemize any mirror with a magic eight ball.

Trolled:
Somehow turn yourself into a Troll.
(That one's probably been posted a dozen times already)

[BubblegumPatty]

Casanova would be proud : Kiss/court every female in your session.
SkaiaPedia : Create or author a great source of information about SPURB and it's components.

[freaki]

Anything that moves: Kiss/Court every player regardless of gender in your session.
put the bunny back in the box: alchemize anything with a poster of Nicholas Cage.
horrrerrorrerrterrrerrorrerr~: befriend a horrorterror.
Forever Alone: be the last player alive in your session.
who needs guides?: complete your session without visiting gamefaqs once.
you must be your session's black guy: be the first to die in your session.
snake eater: be in a dream bubble, the furthest ring or on prospit/derse for more than 50% of the game.
Pfft! screw gravity!:fly without an obvious means of levitation (dreamself and god tier does not count).
BWEEEEEE: play an electric guitar.
The sport pile does not stop from getting taller: play a game of rugby or american football with your consorts.
oh shit bro!: somehow get either your dreamself or realself killed before the start of the game.

[CSJ]

Showing Everyone Online That I Did: Upload records of your session into servers beyond the Veil.
The Final Solution: Attempt to use suicide to gain God Tier
Incisisphere Hate Machine: Prototype your sprite with 4chan prior to entry
Life Arrrrrgh: Prototype your sprite with a deformed 'Figure Drawing' prior to entry

[WackoMcGoose]

Consort Fodder: Defeat a high-level (Ogre or larger) underling by having consorts fight in your place.
Consort Army: Unite your planet's consorts against your denizen.
Consort Army, Part 2: Unite your planet's consorts against the Derse Royalty.
Consort Army, Part 3: Unite every player's planet's consorts against the Derse Royalty.
Power in Numbers: Unite every player's planet's consorts and the Prospitian and Dersite armies against the Derse Royalty.
undrlingKind: Allocate an underling to your strife deck. (Wallet Modus required for anything bigger than an Imp)
denizenKind: Allocate your denizen to your strife deck. (Wallet Modus VERY MUCH REQUIRED)
Denizen Drop: Defeat the Black King or Queen by dropping your denizen('s corpse) on them. ("denizenKind" is a prerequisite)

[gentlemenshadow]

Armory
Possess 10 strifekinds
Mass storage
Possess 50 captcha cards in a limited storage modus (john's stack, for instance)
Clutter
Possess 50 items in a unlimited storage modus (rose's tree modus, for instance)
MORE DAKA
Through powers, items, allies or shenanigans, have 10 people/monsters/automatons attacking 1 target at the same time with you leading the strike