Your First Mary Sue

[Edrobot]

We all know what a Mary Sue is at this point. If you don't, this article on the TV Tropes Wiki has a lengthy article on this subject. Suffice it to say that a Mary Sue is a character that is terrible because she (or he) is idealized to an implausable degree, usually because the author in indulging in blatant wish-fulfillment.

Now, I don't want to point fingers or bash anyone's characters needlessly... But lets face it; you've probably wrote, or at least imagined a character you later realized was a Mary Sue. Writing a suefic is practicly a rite-of-passage in the fanfiction community. So why not admit it now before someone digs up your dirty secrets and tries to blackmail you with them?

Let's start with myself. The first Mary Sue I remember designing was a Fullmetal Alchemist OC named Hope. She was made by some guy to be the "Ultimate Homunculus", and was raised as a human untill her tenth birthday, whereupon her "father" was killed by the obligatory government conspiricay, and she ran into the Elric Brothers who discovered she had the power of the other seven homunculi and oh god I can't go any further than this without bursting into laughter. I wrote one chapter with her and decided not to publish it beacuse she scored a 40 on the Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test. And boy was I glad I did; I hit pretty much every Fanfiction cliche in the book.

Recently, I revised this character for a game of Big Eyes, Small Mouth that I unfortunately never got a chance to play due to scheduling conflicts. In this iteration, I tried to make her a parody of this sort of character rather than a straight example:

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Name and/or Alias: Hope
Prime World: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime or Manga... though I'm more familiar with the anime)
Concept: Mary-Sue /"ascended fangirl" parody. I'm imagining a skill monkey with a number of minor powers, though I don't actually know how well that sort of build works in BESM.
Apparent Age: 11
Actual Age: 1
Race: Poorly-Made Homunculus (oh wait that's not a template is it?)
Description: Hope has minor shape-shifting powers, but her default form is that of a young, prepubecent girl with black hair of varying style (she changes it about once every week).

Unknown to most, she has an ouroboros tattoo on her forehead, though she usually hides it with a hat of some sort.

Personality: Imagine a you had a hyperactive, 11 year old tomboy for a sister. You can't stand being around her for any length of time, but can't quite bring yourself to hate her completely. And while she'd steal the last cookie off your plate while your weren't looking, she'd probably give it back if you asked politely.

Just imagine that girl with superpowers and you'd get Hope in a nutshell.

Background: Gary Stu is the greatest alchemist of his generation... at least, in his own mind.
At 17, he was totally going to become the youngest State Alchemist in history, if only Edward Elric hadn't applied right before him. How dare that brat be legitimately smarter than him! Well, he'd show them; he'd SHOW THEM ALL!!!

Ever since that fatefull day, Gary Stu went on a year-long odessy to make a weapon that would destroy Edward Elric once and for all! He nearly starved to death on the mountains, in search of the lost libraries of Xing! He starved to death in the desert, where he sought the lost ruins of Xerxes! He explored the Atlantis, where he ate his own arm to avoid starvation! He even explored Australia, where his other arm was eaten by rabid dingos!

Just when he nearly admitted defeat, when the answer struck him. Literally, as he recieved a concussion from a tome called Deus Ex Machina: On the Subject of Making the Ultimate Homunculus, Quantum Wormholes, and Lemon Meringue Pie falling out of a window. Written by Van Hohenheim as a theoretical exersize, the book went into great detail about how to build a hypothetical "Perfect Homunculus" that incorperated the best traits of the other seven homunculi, instructions for how to open wormholes to other dimentions, and a delicous recipe he wanted to try out (he's funny like that).

Not even bothering to wonder why books were suddenly falling out of the sky, Gary retreated to his secret lair; a ordinary cardboard box that concealed a slightly smaller cardboard box, where he proceeded to gather the materials nessisary to create the ultimate homunculus. Being a "geinus", Gary was able to complete the formula in record time by skipping that he deemed "unessisary". It took the loss of both of his legs and a trip through The Gate but he had finally, finally, FINALLY created the weapon that would destroy Edward Elric: It was... a little girl? (well that was unexpected!)

And that's when Envy showed up.

You see, Envy was under orders from his boss to steal the book from a wealthy collector, who tried tossing the book out of a nearby window in an attempt to postpone his grizley death for a few moments longer (it didn't work), and was very annoyed to find that this third-rate alchemist had found it.

Now, given that Gary Stu was at this point a armless, legless cripple that was ranting wildly about his unending vandetta against the elder Elric brother, Envy felt a twinge of pity inside him... oh who am I kidding. Envy had a great time killing him. And he probably would have killed the kid too if he had gotten the chance, but Gary's blood turned out to be the last ingredient to open a rift in the fabric of the space-time continuum! (also unexpected!)

The portal swallowed the kid and the book (but not Envy, who knew better than to jump into swirly blue portals), and deposted them in the upper atomsphere of Tokyo Prime (that's what we're calling it, right?) where they both crash-landed into a nearby orphanage, who decided to take her in because... well, what else were they going to do?

It has been one year since that incredibly contrived series of events had occured. She has yet to be adopted, and has no recollection of being from another world. She had discovered her powers very quickly, and after watching waaaaaay to much anime, came to the conclusion that she's either a space alien or half-demon.

Goal: Adventure! Any day now she just knows adventure is going to come and sweep her off her feet!
Yep. Any day now.

At the time, I thought that was one of the funniest things I ever wrote. If it weren't for this, I would probably stand by that judgement even today.

[Broguts]

I have been for the last three years been "writing" this fic about a character I realized many times was a Gary Stu. Every time I get somewhere I either get writers block, decide it sucks, or just do something else for a while.
I must have re written the opening alone, at least thirty times. The story as a whole has never been completed once, but you can see it here: http://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...ad.php?t=48442 IT SUCKS IT SUCKS SO MUCH.
I like to think I've improved somewhat since then, but I just don't think I have the knack for being a writer.
Also, first ten or so chapters of this fic I linked were done in around 2008, before I knew the wonders of grammar.

[rj lake]

legitimately have never done this

worst i can say was i had a sonic fancharacter when i was 9 but he was basically snake plissken

[The Dr.]

Argh, I find it difficult to recount my very first. Since I stumbled (rather haphazardly) unto the world of literature at an early age, I had plenty of time to write up complete and total shitballs for characters. I only ever had one "OC" back when I like like nine or ten, and it wasn't really a fancharacter of any sort, just something I always inserted into the stupid animu "comics" I occasionally made. Pretty much any pre-2009 short story I wrote had Mary Sues/Gary Stus in their own right until I realized there were this things called "character development" and "grammar" and "actual decent storylines" and "actually having good writing"

[Karhs12]

I've been regurgitating characters for everything ever since I was like nine.
If I were to use the mental energies required to remember my first mary sue/gary stu, it would probably make my head catch fire. All I can say is that I'm sure I had really horrible ones. Luckily, I eventually realized that mary sues aren't nearly as interesting or fun to pseudowrite as actual characters with flaws.

[Varkarrus]

Jaelyn Geromy was a random flawless mary sue who deeloped super strength in a game of Sburb, was obsessed with becoming a god (though this was before god-tier was introduced), and had a dreamself that turned into an evil eldritch horror. Also, she had a quantum computer that was created through a staple time loop.

[kholhaus]

I once wrote an RP character that was Mary-Sue to the extreme.

It's so terrible that I can't even write it.

It's not terrible funny, it's terrible shameful.

[Tuna]

One was a super-cyborg assassin with steel claws gained from a failed experiment to create corporate superheroes turned rogue!
The second was an Ancient Egyptian golem who traveled the world, gaining knowledge that would eventually turn him into a highly proficient combat mage!
Thirdly, a talking/telepathic dog with a hoverboard who is in cahoots with Jack Noir, Pyramid Head & Snowflame (not a furry, a standard dog)!
Lastly, an entire race of Mary Sue mer-people with blue skin, black hair(?) and yellow eyes, made 4-5 years before Avatar came out!

TOGETHER THEY FIGHT CRIME

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okay the third one was a obvious parody sue me

[littlequietguy]

Jaelyn Geromy was a random flawless mary sue who deeloped super strength in a game of Sburb, was obsessed with becoming a god (though this was before god-tier was introduced), and had a dreamself that turned into an evil eldritch horror. Also, she had a quantum computer that was created through a staple time loop.

The Eldritch part sounds like something I would at least consider being interested in.

[Edrobot]

okay the third one was a obvious parody sue me

On the subject of parody, I once made an RP character who made his own RP character that was suppoed to be the son of Doc Scratch and Sn0man, who was a police officer in the problem sleuth universe, and and looked like this. Much god-modding ensued.

[Moronis]

Anytime from before the age of 16 was a Mary-Sue. Anything from before 14 and a half was in all seriousness. All of it was for Tenchi Muyo. I was a bit of a fucking idiot a few years back.

[CheeseDeluxe]

I...don't have one, actually. Too dumb to write for shit. Granted, if I did write, I would've more or less created a Sue.

[Chirality]

I...don't have one, actually. Too dumb to write for shit. Granted, if I did write, I would've more or less created a Sue.

And then you created Mary Sue Mafia.

[The Dr.]

okay the third one was a obvious parody sue me

On the subject of parody, I once made an RP character who made his own RP character that was suppoed to be the son of Doc Scratch and Sn0man, who was a police officer in the problem sleuth universe, and and looked like this. Much god-modding ensued.

I love how you added the captain's hat, just to make sure.

[Quirk]

I had some fanfic Garys a long while back, but those are dead and disowned stories. Most of them never got written down, thankfully.

But, I don't believe I've ever had a true, unsalvagable mary or gary in any of my serious writing. Some had traits, but they always ended up under the revision scalpel somewhere along the line.

[CheeseDeluxe]

I...don't have one, actually. Too dumb to write for shit. Granted, if I did write, I would've more or less created a Sue.

And then you created Mary Sue Mafia.

U:

That was more a challenge for me and less an actual writing session.

[Demonsul]

The titular Demonsul. Considering he was once my join-every-roleplay character when I was just starting out roleplaying, he was of course a horrible, horrible Sue. (He ended up living a few thousand years just to participate in roleplays from different eras. Seriously.) He got a bit better somehow, and then horribly, horribly worse, when the parody stories came into vogue - although I'm not sure if that counts, since it was a World of Sue by then.

More recently, Denmark. (There's actually a legitimate logical explanation to this, but I think it works better if I don't explain.)

[ArmsAreLoud]

I don't think I've ever made a particularly rancid Sue; when I was younger and just starting off making characters I was already well aware of Sue ism and would go out of my way to make real flaws for my characters. I did have a character I used for my first Fire Emblem RP who was a practitioner of dark magic and his story was so tragic and nobody understood him but as I got better I toned it down to more reasonable levels.

My real problem is with self-inserts. I always seem to find a way to work in a character who bears an uncanny resemblance to me in both appearance and personality. Sometimes I will go back and change the physical description of one of my characters if I think I wrote him looking too much like me.

Eventually I just started RP'ing women because I had an easier time differentiating them from me. :U

[Fix It Jones]

Man, anytime I wrote anything as a kid my main character was an over confident fuck up.

i never realized you could just make characters be cool people ;o;

[Tren]

I wrote my share of boring characters, but never a Mary Sue.

...Except for 'Adventures of a Mary Sue'. But that doesn't count.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

I wrote one Mary Sue.

She was less Suetiful than most of the other entries on this list, but she counted.

Beautiful, childhood friend of the main character, good at the main type of battle of the story involved (piloting), went into enemy territory on their own near the planned end of the story in order to get rescued...yeah, pretty bad. At least in terms of power-level and impact-on-plot she wasn't...well, that bad. First one not bad at all, second one not that bad.

Star Fox character. I was like 8, maybe nine.

Never actually posted the story, thankfully. Just started writing it in my head.

[myu2k2]

Is it kind of sad that i still fondly regard my sue after 15 years? I was in 6th grade and wrote at least 10 short stories involving the AU... this was on ruled paper, and re-written them roughly in 8th grade on computer.... (back in the good ol year of 1998 ).

It was a multi-verse AU, kind of one of those alternate realities where "everything is real... they are just in another dimension" The "gods" of these universes have servants they called Messengers that perform as their avatars to the mortal world. The gods are called Grays, cause they are created by the physical embodiments of Darkness and Light, the true creators of reality.

One of my fav Sues was a Messenger of Gray called "Liete". She use to be a warrior/warlord until she was killed in battle and her immortal soul was punished to become a servant to the Gray Commander for all eternity. She was given an extreme amount of power to do her job, only bested by those of the Commanders, more experienced Messengers, and the Darkness (Shadows) and Light (Starmakers).


Over the thousands of years she was alive, she was married to several partners that would fight over her, and had roughly 20 or so children. Most of her husbands where immortal to some degree, some where spirits/ghosts, a couple are messengers, and a rival Commander, because they lived so long concepts as marriage, divorce, and monogamy is a mute point....

Eventually she was killed by the main villain of the stories, a Starmaker that became evil, was exiled, and was trying to destroy the multi-verse so he could remake it to his own image.

The Shadows/Darkness embodied Order, Peace, and Non-involvement. The Starmakers/Light embodied Chaos, freedom, and development. For the most part they got along, until the traitorous Starmaker found away to kill the Shadows and decimated their numbers. He spread fear of the Shadows/Darkness through the multi-verse, and said that only Light was pure and good.

oh... need i have to say again: i was in 6th grade when i wrote them. The idea might sound "awesome" but the actual stories are pretty crap, being writen by a child.


then again, it is perhaps one of the reasons why I fell in love with The Amber Chronicles and Homestuck, the whole "multi-world" concept is just something i've been smitten with since i was a child. i loved the idea that "Hey! Batman could be real, they are just not here...!"

[HarMegidon]

I once wrote a villain who was so powerful that I couldn't figure up of how the protagonist could beat him, so I just wrote "GO FIGURE OUT HOW HE BEAT HIM HIMSELF".

[ikkonoishi]

I never really wrote much down. Anytime I would start trying to write I would think out like thirty chapters of stuff to put down while I was editing and reediting a single paragraph. I was never able to tolerate grammatical or spelling errors in my own work.

Edit: Actually I did write things down. Horrible, horrible things. I will never reveal my secrets. There is nothing to connect me to my FF.net account. No one need ever know. Save for me, my shame, and that retched beating under the floorboards.

[Edrobot]

I once wrote a villain who was so powerful that I couldn't figure up of how the protagonist could beat him, so I just wrote "GO FIGURE OUT HOW HE BEAT HIM HIMSELF".

Clearly the heroes needed more Dakka.

*COUGH COUGH*LordEnglish*COUGH COUGH*