Forgotten Age

[Wandering One]

What's that in the bottom of the pot?

Also, walk off without any real explaination of what happened.

[Demothesis]

What's that in the bottom of the pot?

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Apparently, THIS thing!

You have no idea why what looks to be a sphere made of one of the Five SACRED SUBSTANCES would be in a completely irrelevant peasant's pot, but you aren't complaining! This item quickly becomes appropriated by the Wyld Hunt. Because you can obviously use it better than a random person who lives in a house with a hole in it's ceiling and broken pottery everywhere.





Must be leaving, citizen! You know how it is. Places to go, things to do. Thank you for the gift.

So yeah, bye.



Well, might as well put the thing you found away. You've been trying to avoid disturbing your INVENTORY SYSTEM, but for now it can't be helped.

You unveil one of the ARTIFACTS you have hidden beneath you shirt. This MOONSILVER BANGLE you were given for completing military training has come in handy far more often than you would care to admit. It's been just useful enough to overlook the fact that it was made for one of the Accursed Lunatics.



ARTIFACTS, like your BANGLE or this ORB, are relics from another age with a spark of power in them. By infusing them with a mote of SPIRITUAL ENERGY, you can awaken their unusual abilities. Some, like your ELEMENTAL CHAKRAM, are merely deadly weapons. But others, such as your MOONSILVER BANGLE, contain truly amazing abilities. The drawback is that if you invest too much of your spiritual energy into these things, suddenly you have none left for your ABILITIES. Right now you possess 7 MOTES of Spiritual energy, but 2 of them are being used to draw out the potential of your two ARTIFACTS. You don't know if you should try activating the Orb yet. Who KNOWS what it would do! So it might be wise to store it using the BANGLE. Crafted by an ancient warden of the night who thought he was so clever, your BANGLE can banish up to 10 objects about your size or smaller to another dimension entirely devoted to storage. Which is quite useful, especially when dealing with cumbersome objects.



It's getting those objects back OUT of your inventory which is the problem...

Here is the god of your MOONSILVER BANGLE. What's his name again and should you trust him with the new ARTIFACT?

[OnBackorder]

What would putting an artifact within an artifact do exactly? I'd prefer to keep my valuables in the coin pouch next to my loins. If a thief wants it, he has to go a digging, and look like a total pervert in the process. Also, I assume the orb also has a god, and then the snake will try to make god love to it . If that happens you will have god babies and no peace and quiet until they move out of the house, and who knows when that will be...

The snake genie, I have no idea. Reptar Oxford Gorgon, Chancelor of Wrapping, Reptilian Enchanter of Verbiage, Ninth Tongue of the Sofa King, and Keeper of the Stuffs.

He takes the items by eating them, and your inventory is often filled with small rodent and elemental corpses.

[Vancho1]

The God has no name, only a title: The Sly Serpent of Storage.

Anyway, you shouldn't trust the artifact you just found to it. Who knows? It might be another pocket dimension, and everyone knows how bad it is to put those inside each other. It's unpredictable. You might accidentally tear a hole in the universe or something.

It would be wiser to activate it, and see what it does. It's better to know than have a mystery item in your inventory.

[Armok]

> God: speak in rhyme or haiku or backwards or something.

[Professor zobot]

I assume the orb also has a god, and then the snake will try to make god love to it . If that happens you will have god babies and no peace and quiet until they move out of the house, and who knows when that will be...

Your mind writhes in agony at the mental image that just violated it.

Anyway, you shouldn't trust the artifact you just found to it. Who knows? It might be another pocket dimension, and everyone knows how bad it is to put those inside each other. It's unpredictable. You might accidentally tear a hole in the universe or something.

In an attempt to purge the idea of god on god sex out of your mind, you go over everything you understand about your INVENTORY SYSTEM again. Your people, the DRAGON DISCIPLES, commonly use artifacts such as this MOONSILVER BANGLE to transport objects to a single, vast realm of non-sensation known as Elsewhere. While you're a bit fuzzy on the particulars, you think you remember being told in your training that it's impossible to access this realm without one of these objects, although you could be wrong. Using one object to send another is entirely safe, as once the object sent arrives in Elsewhere it merely ceases to function until removed. At least, you're pretty sure that's how it works. Different storage artifacts function differently in the transportation process.

He takes the items by eating them, and your inventory is often filled with small rodent and elemental corpses.

In your specific case, the god of your MOONSILVER BANGLE swallows the object you choose to store, it's body serving as the portal mechanism. As it can only store ten items, you try to avoid cluttering it up. It's a good thing the snake god doesn't actually need to eat, or else your whole inventory would be filled with rat corpses or something. When it returns the object to you, it regurgitates it... after you meet it's demands.

For whatever reason, the god of your artifact refuses to return any object it has stored until you can solve a riddle or a puzzle it devises.

You quickly learned how easily that could become a problem.

> God: speak in rhyme or haiku or backwards or something.

Have I been brought forth
for any specific purpose
this time, Prince of Earth?

The God has no name, only a title: The Sly Serpent of Storage.

Z: ...I considered placing a relic in your care, Serpent of Storage, but decided against it. There's no reason to risk loosing it until I properly understand what this is.

A loss it is not
so long as your wit is sharp
not that you would know.

Z: I don't need this right now. I'm going to find out what this thing does now. You can just... go back to doing whatever it is when you're not talking to me.



You prepare your SPIRITUAL ENERGY, readying yourself to infuse a mote of the seven you've regained within the sphere.



...which promptly does nothing. Either it needs more energy, or you're somehow doing something wrong.

Do you need some help
Or would you rather I let
failure continue?

Z: Dragons damn it all.

[Fabricati]

>Maybe there's a knowledgable friend- or, heavens preserve us, a mortal- who could help us identify it? Barring that, one more mote couldn't hurt...

[OnBackorder]

No, octagons, my only weakness! But seriously, what kind of energy system is that?

> Listen to the Snake God, who ironically has a rodent corpse in his(?) inventory. I assume a joke from when you received the bangle, or an old pet you could never figure out the riddle for in time to feed it.

> Be the onlooker: While restocking your humble stall, out of the corner of your sight there is a man with a two-meter, prehensile, glowing dong.

[Wandering One]

No, octagons, my only weakness! But seriously, what kind of energy system is that?

I'm a bit curious as well... I've played Exalted a bit before, maybe the outer dots represent Peripheral Essence (your power shows off in the world around you when you use it) and the inner ones represent personal essence (you can do stuff sneakily without people noticing)? Or something like that?

>Wait, why would a loser villager have a mystical artifact like that in their pot? Maybe they're hiding something?

[Armok]

> Random peasant women: stare and point at what you assume to be a man with a two-meter, prehensile, glowing dong.

> God: be doing that on purpose, wiggle eyebrows at them.

[Professor zobot]

There will be a delay in the next update due to Crimmas.

Happy holidays. Whatever ones you follow.

[Vancho1]

You need to ask the serpent what to do. After all, gods know what they're doing.

[Professor zobot]

No, octagons, my only weakness! But seriously, what kind of energy system is that?

What octagon? You aren't physically cognizant of any octagons of any sort. However, if you were aware of such an abstract gaming construct, you would probably see it for what it was as an ornate representation of your SPIRITUAL ENERGY, a literal representation of the power resting at your fingertips.

The inner motes of light indicate the amount of elemental energy you can draw upon by calling forth the power within your very soul. This energy is personal and completely yours to manipulate how you see fit, and if you so desire it is entirely unnoticeable to the naked eye. The outer, disassociated motes represent the elemental energy you can call forth from the land around you. This energy is peripheral, falling outside your total control but something you can draw upon and contain within yourself given enough time and meditation. Though it is just as powerful, utilizing this source of energy is less precise and some of it tends to spill out onto the world around you, sometimes causing unexpected effects.

As you call upon individual stars of light, they go out, leaving the representational night sky a bit darker until you can regain the energy necessary for it to shine again. Two of the outer stars will no longer shine at all, as the power they embody are infused into your two relics.

> Listen to the Snake God, who ironically has a rodent corpse in his(?) inventory. I assume a joke from when you received the bangle, or an old pet you could never figure out the riddle for in time to feed it.

> Be the onlooker: While restocking your humble stall, out of the corner of your sight there is a man with a two-meter, prehensile, glowing dong.

> Random peasant women: stare and point at what you assume to be a man with a two-meter, prehensile, glowing dong.

> God: be doing that on purpose, wiggle eyebrows at them.

You need to ask the serpent what to do. After all, gods know what they're doing.

Only as a last resort. You remember the last time you followed his advice and the subsequent events that followed.



Even giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming his intentions were benevolent, you almost got kicked out of the military academy after sending seven other young Dragons to the Infirmary due to noodle-related incidents and the rumors of flagrant and depraved public indecency continued to haunt you to the point where you were all too glad to take up the Banner of the Hunt and get out of the Land of Paradise for a while. Ideally once you return covered in glory people will have forgotten what happened to the Commander's pet rat.

Whatever level of trust you may have once had with your Storage Serpent was lost that day and the two of you have been bickering back and forth ever since. It's just entirely too mischievous for it's own good.

>Maybe there's a knowledgable friend- or, heavens preserve us, a mortal- who could help us identify it?

But that isn't to say getting the advice of another is a bad idea. Despite her hedonism, Sam had the benefit of growing up getting a proper education, including history of the times of the Great Uprising, so she'd know more about ancient ARTIFACTS than you would. You could also consult Reclusive Stone, the third DRAGON DISCIPLE of your party, although since coming to this backwater he seems to have been making it hard for you to keep track of him. And you suppose if you had to ask a mortal for assistance identifying it, you could always ask the Astrologer. She's probably more academic than you would be, so there's the chance she might know SOMETHING. Also, you seem to recall hearing that the Elder of this village was reputed to know a trick or two of Sorcery in spite of being mortal, so he might be able to tell you more.

>Wait, why would a loser villager have a mystical artifact like that in their pot? Maybe they're hiding something?

...suddenly you realize that you really should have asked a few more questions of the person who you confiscated it off of in the first place. But it's certainly not too late, you can always go back...

Barring that, one more mote couldn't hurt...

... but first you should probably finish figuring out what this thing is if you can. You tentatively try infusing another mote into the device...



... which seems to respond! Now you can finally figure outohDragonswhyisitgettingbrighter.





Unfortunately for him, you cannot continue to be Zephyr at the present moment.



You are now, however briefly, someone else.

So many divergent elements to keep in line already and now this.



This environment was supposed to be controlled. An essence grenade finding its way into this small town without your foreknowledge should have been impossible. It is auspicious that you were around to witness this.



Perhaps it's time to renew your vision of coming events.



To start with, by renewing your insight into how your chosen agent will die...

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We're back! Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

While this update doesn't necessarily leave off on a good point to issue commands, feel free to issue commands to either Zephyr or this new person. The results might surprise you...

[OnBackorder]

New person: Introduce your face. A name is fine too.

Zephyr: Honk honk. Please don't let this person be your mom/sister/grandmother/sex-changed uncle.

Onlooker: This is incredible. The snake wang'd man just released a ball of light and energy by stroking his ball.

[Torquemadras Trump]

> New fella: Turn out to be not so ominous and foreboding as you appear to be. You just have a bad habit of talking like that all the time.

[Professor zobot]

Onlooker: This is incredible. The snake wang'd man just released a ball of light and energy by stroking his ball.

The Onlooker approves a bit more than anyone's comfortable with.

New person: Introduce your face. A name is fine too.

Zephyr: Honk honk. Please don't let this person be your mom/sister/grandmother/sex-changed uncle.

> New fella: Turn out to be not so ominous and foreboding as you appear to be. You just have a bad habit of talking like that all the time.

The New Person would probably rather like it if The God of Narration respected The New Person's obligation to be unnecessarily mysterious. The New Person would most likely request that The God of Narration refrained from even attributing a pronoun to The New Person so as to avoid giving away any details about The New Person, despite how much it annoys the God of Narration to be so vague. That is, if The New Person were aware that the God of Narration even existed.

But The New Person isn't aware of such a God, and even if he/she/it was, they are entirely too busy giving Zephyr disturbing prophetic dreams to object.

The New Person is, however, momentarily distracted from doing this by your request.

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This is, admittedly, a bit of a filler post but I thought we'd have fun while waiting for Demothesis to finish the next ACTUAL update. He was nice enough to take some time off his busy schedule to throw together that picture of the onlooker. We should have the next update of some significance up in a few days.

Anyways, feel free to continue to suggest commands for The New Person, Zephyr, or anyone else you can think of until we manage to update next. Maybe something interesting and amazing will happen!

[Professor zobot]

The frig?

That is... sooo far off topic. I'm willing to bet that you're a spambot, buddy.

[Cresent]

> New person: be noticed by the other members of the Hunt who arrive to see what the heck happened

> Zephyr: Have disturbing prophetic dreams and wake up screaming

[Wandering One]

>Zephyr: Wake up with no pants.

[OnBackorder]

>Zephyr: Wake up with no pants.

Agreed.

Mysterious One: Be a ghost who can only possess people via slapstick comedy.

Also, the visions should be in Technicolor.

[Cresent]

>Zephyr: Wake up with no pants.

This suggestion is so hilarious that I HAVE to support it.

In addition...

>Zephyr: After waking up with no pants, be seen by your superior officer (who is likely punch-drunk by now)

[Demothesis]

Zephr: Dream

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>Zephyr: Wake up with no pants.

Boxers or Briefs?

[Cresent]

Boxers or Briefs?

Boxers of course. With nifty dragon design.

[Wandering One]

Wooooooooowwwwww! Pretty artwork! Wonder what it means...

Um, Briefs. But I second the design.

[OnBackorder]

I was assuming he would wear the old Japanese equivalent of underwear, essentially a sheet held up by faith, called a Fundoshi.

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Google-image searching that word reveals nothing but man-ass and helpful hints for tying a fundoshi. Also, Samurai Jack.