How Do You Kill Lord English?

[mageofhope178]

This is how you do it.
You go to a new timeline, and kidnap that timeline's english and take him back to the old one. You make the two meet, and it will tear a hole into the space-time continuom, and kill both of them. 2 for the price of one .

[obolisk0430]

Gentlemen, I have one word for you, just one word. Shenanagins.

[mageofhope178]

Gentlemen, I have one word for you, just one word. Shenanagins.

Well that just beat the hell out of my theory.

[obolisk0430]

I would imagine that, due to the way Lord English enters universes, simply leaving him in a doomed timeline or something similar would be insufficiant. To kill him it would require something along the lines of the ULTIMATE SHENANIGIN.

[wĨŇş†ŎŇ]

andrew hussie is reading this thread and furiously taking notes

Ahahahaha I wonder...

[scyth242]

the aimple way is to trap him into little cal (little cal is lord english's prison, combine him with a cue ball and you have a sentient first guardian/host A.K.A escapeable prison) and throw him into the next session. thats how to get rid of him like a normal human being. the above method is a hussie esque full LE beatdown for the ages

[Random_Odd_Guy]

but the epic showdown method would be more permanant...after all, throwing him into a different session would still leave him alive, and he could escape...probably...well, jack said you could only beat him by exploiting a series of glitches in the game...and apparently he was named after a video game boss "lord british," who could only be beaten by exploiting a series of deliberate glitches, as he wasn't intended to be beatable...

hm....perhaps if sburb was combined with that glitchtastic skating game dave played...with the doritos and such...yes, we beat lord english by glitching him into a wall, using the poorly connected planes that make up the game's environment...

[Diffractor]

Alright, I think it's summary time. Here's what we have so far.


Here's what we're up against. Lord English has first guardian powers, is not omniscent, and more powerful than Doc Scratch, along with being an adept tactician. He also has HIC along with her to do his dirty work, and it also seems likely that Jake's grandma works for Lord English as well. Being a time traveler, there are several exploits he can do to make it very difficult to kill him, namely traveling into the future after he is dead, seeing that he is dead, and going back to prevent his death, bringing along clones from alternate timelines to fight (like Aradia), establishing stable time loops, and other stuff. He is rumored to be unkillable except by glitches and exploits in space-time. Destroyer of universes, for that is the only way for him to arrive in one. Leader of a gang of incompetent, time traveling gangsters. He has a cane/rifle, and a time traveling sarcophagus/coat. He likely has other currently unknown powers. And he is powerful enough to kill the Huss. FOR THAT HE MUST DIE.


Here's the assurance that the kids will win. UU has said that they will leave behind bright colors and mayhem, and secure peace for their cosmic progeny for all duration. That implies that whatever they do with Lord English, it will also prevent his meddling in all future universes. And UU has implied that she is from the universe the kids will create. Even further than that, UU has also said that Void players have a way with flummoxing even those with plans beyond mortal understanding. And Andrew Hussie has implied that the gun was Lord English's only weakness, and that it would be "ironic" that his demise would be in the proximity of horses ( :0 Maplehoof...)


And here are our available resources.
1 God tier Breath player.
1 God tier Time player. (has god tier rung pimpslayer, and has a prophecy of "dropping it like it's hot whilst the pimp's in the crib")
1 God tier Light player. (knows what to do)
1 Dog tier first guardian Space player.
4 trolls coming along to the new session, and two others who may play a small role. Blood, Time, Doom, Space, Mind, and Rage.
2 4x prototyped carapaces.
Assistance from the future
1 Void player (implied to go god tier, and capable of "flummoxing those with plans beyond mortal understanding")
1 Life player (hard to kill)
1 Hope player
1 Heart player (implied to have the ability to destroy souls)
1 Disgruntled Gangster who has wanted to kill English for a while (has time artifacts)
A time artifact destroying crowbar, a timeline skipping voodoo doll, time traveling turntables, and pumpkins.
1 First guardian cat
And a gun which Andrew Hussie implied was able to kill Lord English, if only it had a bullet in it.


Looking pretty good so far. So, now for what to do. Time clone army from alt timelines can be taken care of either with more time travel, or, when paired with the fact that alt timeline selves are doomed, a method to kill large numbers of English's. Stable time loops can be broken with the crowbar (observe what happened to Biscuits and Eggs), or maybe just by normal means. The "travel into future, see if you are dead, go into past to prevent death" trick is preventable by "time traveler from future where LE has died travels back to shortly before he dies, and tells everybody precisely where he will arrive, and everybody kills him, and then they tell the time traveler to go back in time and tell everybody". This method not only ties his death to a stable time loop, also, by killing him right upon his scouting trip, it prevents him from observing his own death and then going back to stop it, since the scouting LE was the one that was killed. Some method of preventing his entry into other universes (destroying the server? ~ath coding? something else?) will be employed. Roxy will impair his plans, Dirk will destroy his soul, and he will die in the proximity of a horse. Spades Slick will hopefully survive, and be involved in this plan. Dave will kill Lord English, as foretold by the prophecy and his next God Tier rung. Many more shenanigans will be involved.


This is gonna get good. (grabs bucket of popcorn.) And loads of thanks to everyone in this thread!

[agnomen]

Chocolate.

[scyth242]

exactly why the kids and trolls are doing it: the majority of them DONT GIVE A SHIZ

[scyth242]

were all idiots. how is it possible that we didn't see it. im actually really tempted not to say it because if i do hussie might rage because we figured it out.
pumpkins. oh sure, supposedly roxy has been appearifying them but what about cross universe? and cross dimension? they dissapeared in ps and jailbreak and bard quest and alpha universe, so how does she have enough power to appearify a pumpkin from the distant dimension of jailbreak?
she doesn't.
the pumpkins have some link to english killing, as does little cal, as cal is a constant in all universes and pumpkins only dissapear erratically before a certain point, as the mayor could use one for carrying purposes without it scampering away like a surprised
abra. i dont have a full theory but if anyone does it would be good to know.

[Random_Odd_Guy]

wait, you forgot the 4 completely unprototyped kernels that the new kids have in their session...which wont affect the local rings...since after they enter they never prototyped them...this allows for the raising of the dead, and elimination of unruly beings who are very hard to kill...by overwriting it...and apparently can get you out of being killed for preventing a doomed timeline...(either sprites are nigh unkillable, or the universe just forgets you if you fuse with one...as davesprite demonstrated...)

[Diffractor]

Good point, Random Odd Guy. And, scyth242, as for the pumpkin thing, that was already covered several pages back. Pretty much, our ideas were as follows. The pumpkin has an illegible code, so the game must think it is cheap to let you duplicate them, and it implies that they are important, since the only other scrambled code we saw was the Sburb server disc. With the intellibeam laserstation, the pumpkin code can be decoded. Then my idea was to cross a SBAHJ picture with the pumpkin to produce the PUMBKEN, which would be a perfect canidate for a glitch in space-time if ever there was one. It would be used in some way, probably to destroy Lord English's coat. Or pumpkins could play some other role. I feel confident that they will prove to be important in some way.

[Random_Odd_Guy]

Wait, Roxy also said the pumpkins are absolutely unimportant, and apparently paradox space is dead set on keeping them from ever being relevant to anything, ever...making it so that appearifiers can ALWAYS relocate them...


It is also possible that pumpkins are simply doomed to disappearing, so spawning them is considered unthinkable, even by the game...


Hm...lord english is the pool cue...perhaps snowman could kill him...what happens when you take the 8 ball out of the game before any other ball...the game ends, and whoever did it loses...perhaps if lord english was tricked into killing snowman while any of the felt were still alive...

alternatively, perhaps if someone beat him at a game of pool...

[obolisk0430]

Wait, Roxy also said the pumpkins are absolutely unimportant, and apparently paradox space is dead set on keeping them from ever being relevant to anything, ever...making it so that appearifiers can ALWAYS relocate them...


It is also possible that pumpkins are simply doomed to disappearing, so spawning them is considered unthinkable, even by the game...


Hm...lord english is the pool cue...perhaps snowman could kill him...what happens when you take the 8 ball out of the game before any other ball...the game ends, and whoever did it loses...perhaps if lord english was tricked into killing snowman while any of the felt were still alive...

alternatively, perhaps if someone beat him at a game of pool...

Possible plot spoiler. Don't read if you haven't gotten past cascade.

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Problem. Snowman is allready dead.

[Random_Odd_Guy]

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yes, and last...hence the need for a change in order...also, it was jack noir who killed her, and the universe ended...however, im fairly certain that is when lord english stopped being in that universe...he arrives after it is destroyed, then goes back in time to BEFORE it was destroyed, presumably to the begining of the universe, so he can rule it, presumably, he leaves when it reaches the destruction point, moving to another universe, to repeat the process...it needs to be destroyed, before he has a chance to escape...

[Varkarrus]

maybe the kernalsprites are why gamzee is saving the dead bodies????????

[Random_Odd_Guy]

Good point...wait...jade still has that laser cannon and iron man suit...which still haven't been used...ever...in spite of clearly being very useful...and Hussie ALWAYS references things...always...at some point...perhaps THAT can kill Lord English...A giant laser cannon the size of a car...


I now kind of want to see Broquerglyobska vs Lord English...truly, this would be an epic showdown of epic proportions...

[Tirgo]

shoot him forever in the dick.

[Mustavus]

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SIMPLE.

To clarify, if you just start chucking rocks, eventually he'll already be in the line of one's fire.

[LMLYP]

NO YOU CAN NOT. YOU DO NOT KILL ME, YOU ONLY ATTEMPT AND FAIL.

only the lord english account is allowed to post as lord english

( the recent forum update ruined that thread btw; the background of every post ought to be green lightning and his username oughta be green w/ cycling poolball)

[obolisk0430]

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yes, and last...hence the need for a change in order...also, it was jack noir who killed her, and the universe ended...however, im fairly certain that is when lord english stopped being in that universe...he arrives after it is destroyed, then goes back in time to BEFORE it was destroyed, presumably to the begining of the universe, so he can rule it, presumably, he leaves when it reaches the destruction point, moving to another universe, to repeat the process...it needs to be destroyed, before he has a chance to escape...

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I don't think that's how it works. For some reason, he's struck me as not being confined to such simple mechanics. My headcanon is that he doesn't have to exist in any specific universe to continue his actual existance. Even if he didn't leave before the end of the Trolls' universe, I bet he would still be able to show up in another one, because, indeed, he's allready there.

[Random_Odd_Guy]

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I don't think that's how it works. For some reason, he's struck me as not being confined to such simple mechanics. My headcanon is that he doesn't have to exist in any specific universe to continue his actual existance. Even if he didn't leave before the end of the Trolls' universe, I bet he would still be able to show up in another one, because, indeed, he's allready there.

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Yes, but the "already there" thing was explained to be because he time travels to the universe's start, because he can only be summoned upon its death, and what would he rule at that point? a big empty void? so he goes back in time to when it wasn't a useless waste of space...which of course, eventually means it will be destroyed, otherwise he couldn't be there in the first place...

[obolisk0430]

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Yes, but the "already there" thing was explained to be because he time travels to the universe's start, because he can only be summoned upon its death, and what would he rule at that point? a big empty void? so he goes back in time to when it wasn't a useless waste of space...which of course, eventually means it will be destroyed, otherwise he couldn't be there in the first place...

I think we can stop using spoilers now.
I guess you could be right. People keep talking about him timetraveling to avoid being killed, and that strikes me as wrong for some reason. I'm not sure if he does a ton of timetraveling in any specific universe, as opposed to just being immortal (save the one special thing that perma-kills him) and just sort of doing his universe eating thing. My feel for him is that he's more of a force than an entity. You might be able to buy yourself some time with some sort of shenanigin, but, in the longrun, nothing you do can really affect the outcome.

[Random_Odd_Guy]

Well, since he enters the universe AFTER its dead, he clearly can EXIST in an empty void...at the very least...


My take on it is that it isn't that you CAN'T stop him from showing up, so much as that you DON'T, otherwise he wouldn't be here, now would he?...the fact that he IS here is a pretty clear sign that you FAILED to stop his summoning...


Mainly because of how paradox space reacts to time paradoxes...: While infinite STABLE time loops are accepted, and often required, its the self contradicting ones, such as the paradox where the time traveling prevented itsself from happening, that it outright REJECTS, and responds to by killing all parties involved...

ie: Obviously you can't stop lord english, simply because you didn't, which is why he is already here, because you failed to stop him, so he appeared when the universe died, and went back in time. if you DID stop him however, he wouldn't show up, wouldn't time travel back, and WOULD NOT already be here...

Come to think of it, perhaps if lord english causes a doomed timeline, paradox space will find a way to kill him...


as a result though, the universes you can keep him out of, he won't be in in the first place...because you stopped him...