Trol Seasson: kickstarter??????????????????????

[Lieutenant Fish]

>introduce the next character, who is totally not vriska!

Let's switch to someone physically unable to watch television!

A young Trol stands in Jesus Christ that's what we've got for Vriska??? Shit. Okay, whatever, what is her name?

[Loather of Irk]

Driska "Big Poppa" Tekres

[Lieutenant Fish]

Driska "Big Poppa" Tekres

Your name is Driska Tekres, and you are too beautiful to live.

Today is your third anniversary of being locked in this FAKE ROOM, assuming you are measuring by HOURS instead of something more pedestrian like years or sweeps. You prefer to measure time spent doing things that you don't enjoy in small units, because even the smallest unit of something that you don't want is a HORRIBLE AFFRONT that must be dealt with at once.

Your LUSUS is the one responsible for your imprisonment, which she carried out while assuring you that it was the only way to make sure that no one could ever hurt you. You certainly agree with that idea, but you just don't think it's going to work out since this room is furnished with pictures of all your NEAT STUFF instead of physical items. In fact, you have begun to suspect that her motives were purely selfish, and that she intends for you to die of thirst and thus free up the role of MOST BEAUTIFUL PERFECT AMAZING BEING EVER for herself.

When not scratching at walls and crying alone on your bed, two hobbies that you have recently taken up, you enjoy ANIMES, VIDO GAMS, COMIC BOOKS, and COSPLAYING AS YOURSELF. You have a BORDERLINE FETISHISTIC interest in ANGELIC FIGURES of any form, because you like the idea of having friends who aren't as hopelessly flawed in comparison to yourself as everyone else is.

You have narrowed your available options down to two: appeal to your lusus for release, or wait for an angel to rescue you. In either case, you would be willing to remain in this room as long as all of your stuff was brought in, and maybe some food too.

You need to hurry, though, or you'll miss Boners.

Your trolltag is archangelsGrope, but you have never used Trollian for anything and probably aren't clever enough to come up with a good typing quirk.

[Loather of Irk]

Disregard options, work on your Boners self-insert slashfic.

[Lieutenant Fish]

Disregard options, work on your Boners self-insert slashfic.

Boned by an Angel is currently outside of the room, along with all of your other notebooks. You won't be able to work on it until you escape or have it brought to you.

The thoughts of what that horrible old witch is probably doing to your stuff are paralyzing.

[Dalmationer]

ed shows fuck you troll who is the boss.

/...............for now

[Dalmationer]

Also: Driska: Use angel powers to bust out of your room.

or just pick the lock with your totally-not-wiglike-hair

[Thedude3445]

Driska: Make your typing quirk capitalizing all As and Gs. That's really original and creative!

[Dalmationer]

who is vriska?

[Thedude3445]

who is vriska?

I have no idea what you're talking about.
Also I just want to note that I love the games on Driska's wall so much. It's like my entire childhood up there :P

[Dalmationer]

Driska: Make your typing quirk capitalizing all As and Gs. That's really original and creative!

YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR SOLDIER GIRL SHE IS SO FAR AWAY

actually she is here


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BUT WHO IS?

[rogue of void]

>Expendable soldier number 3

[Dalmationer]

>Expendable...

Oh my god! You LOVE that movie so much! Seriously stallone proves that you don't need to be able to write well or act well to produce an amazing movie with no plot and a lot of explosions! THE BEST KIND OF MOVIE! Sure his character is a huge mary sue but who cares its amazing!!!!1

...soldier number 3

Oh.

>Fran Sloan



Yes, that's right. It will do.

As far back as you can remember you have wanted to be someone who BURNS THINGS, and one day soon, YOU WILL BE. Your name is Fran Sloan and you are single. You haven't always been. You were in a three year relationship which ended really badly, and ended with a BODYBAG, a ticket to TROLL SPAIN, and a CHANGE OF NAME, leaving you in contact with noone but your MOIRAIL. You are over it now, and, thanks to the influence of said moirail, have finally become a PRIVATE in the dreaded TROLLTERNIAN CONFLAGRATTACK ARSONASSINS, and you intend to stay that way.
The other members of your unit, at least those who you have met, call you Expendable Soldier Number 3. While you are not particularly fond of the nickname, most of your other friends have taken to it, and often call you number 3 or just Three.
Right now, you are crusing in your somewhat bare caravan towards the TROLLTERNIAN MILITARY BASE OF TROLTERNIA. It is on trollternia and is a military base. when you get there, they will probably ship you off so you can BURN THINGS. You are very excited about this. Thankfully your AMAZING LUSUS knows where to go, and can take you there, so you don't need to pay a driver who you would probably just BURN TO DEATH anyway. Basically, today is the best day of your life.
You enjoy BURNING THINGS, which you are very good at, knitting scarves, jumpers, and then occasionally BURNING THEM, being shot at, BURNING PEOPLE SHOOTING YOU, drawing pictures, and having girls nights out, watching movies of dubious calibre with your various friends. You also like to talk to your moirail, who shouts a lot. You also like to polish your awesome gas mask, because seriously it's completely awesome.
Your nam3 is arsonistCannonfodder and you Lik3 to talk using your assign3d numb3r where appropriat3.



Your lusus is probably outside and you should check on him, but you're quite peckish. You are also in the mood to talk with some of your various friends. What will you do?

>Burn water like a baws

[rogue of void]

>Burn water like a baws

[autoglassmasterclass]

> eat fire

[Dalmationer]

>Burn water like a baws

Good idea! You produce your FIRE HOSE and FIRE FIRE at the water in your kitchen sink.
This, predictably enough, doesn't achieve much except create a lot of steam light your FIREPROOF HOUSE on FIRE

thankfully you live in a FIREPROOF CARAVAN so it's all okay.

> eat fire

you are wearing a mask.


>Be more of a ginger.

[piester]

>Be more of a ginger.

[Dalmationer]

>Be more of a ginger.

You are NOT ginger.

you are strawberry blonde.

and you should probably go do something calming before you kill something.



>Be too sexy for your mask

[rogue of void]

>Be too sexy for your mask

[Dalmationer]

>Be too sexy for your mask

Don't you know it! Bros and Hos be worshipping you left and right, right and left, gazing in awe at your immense sexiness. Look at that: you are so sexy it's not even funny.

You also go to say hi to your lusus



Fran: Hi!
GoatLegion: Yo.

[rogue of void]

>Remove your mask with a burning passion!

[Lieutenant Fish]

>Remove your mask with a burning passion!

You successfully remove your hairpiece, increasing your attractiveness by n%, where n = "a really really like huge number."

You're going to have to be more specific in your suggestions. They have names, you know.
Anger
Vashta
Tiny Tinkle
Baxx
Driska
Fran
Learn them.

[rogue of void]

>Coultre, what that's not your name? I'm sorry I can't really seem to find any fucks to give, do me a favor and shut up. Then go be Vashta

[Radio]

> Vashta: Free Driska from the FAKE ROOM

[OrangeAipom]

> Be Coulton