Trol Seasson: kickstarter??????????????????????

[Loather of Irk]

dued this place blow,s were the fuck are the natchos even????

[Dalmationer]

dued this place blow,s were the fuck are the natchos even????

you're right! There isn't even anything here! It seems everyone is out watching the boners marathon.

you would watch it too if your grandad would let you, but he says the name boners is uncouth. you have no idea what he means.

PESPRECTIVE SIGHFT



OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE THISSS????????????????







you land in front of a shotp.

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you can still give commands to baxx, or anyone not occupied by Boners.

[Ford Johnes]

>Go check if they have a tv with Boners on.

[piester]

Goats: Be troll jegus, the only son of Mya, Holy Bringer of Life.

[Dalmationer]

Goats: Be troll jegus, the only son of Mya, Holy Bringer of Life.

This cannot be. You are Goat Legion and only Goat Legion. You are many.

Also you can't be jegus because only turtle jesus is jesus. he is also gog.

>Go check if they have a tv with Boners on.

Speak of the devil! (or rather speak of the Jesus!)

You go in and ask the manager if they have a tv with boners on it.



He says no, because he's amish or shit like that and believes TV brainwashes people.

what a dork.

he says maybe his piece of shit daughter has one hoarded in her hoarding horde (it's in her hoardrobe)

[Ford Johnes]

>Well then ask him to microwave some chocolate bars for you.

[piester]

THIS ADVENTURE IS BLASPHAMOUS! I SHALL ALERT THE NEO REFINED CHURCH OF MYANISM OF YOUR SINS IMMEDIATELY! MYA IS THE ONE TRUE GOG. >:C

[Dalmationer]

>Well then ask him to microwave some chocolate bars for you.

he gets out his steampunk microwave and puts your chocolate bar inside it.



You got melted radioactive chocolate!



you eat it.



BUT SOMEONE IS PESTERING YOU ON YOUR COMMUNICATION RADIO SONAR RADAR BATFINK HOW CAN THIS BE?

[Chwoka]

Answer the memo that's not yours instead.

[Lieutenant Fish]

Answer the memo that's not yours instead.

You mosey on over to the nearby COMPUTER.



What's this? It looks like someone was writing a memo. You think it will be lots of fun to read! H3 h3 h3!



Oh. Oh no.



This is the second least sexy thing you have ever read! Mission failed!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+0 XP
-69 Sexy
+1 Terrastuck jokes

[Loather of Irk]

Gotta get your sexy back

[Dalmationer]

Gotta get your sexy back

You're right. What is the point of living if you can't be hella fuckin' sexy while living it? It's just not right. This blasphemy may only have drained your sexy stat by less than 1% of its full magnitude, but your very ideals have suffered a critical hit from it, and your philosophy bar is almost empty.
Also the terrastuck referance you gained tastes horrible and sticks to your throat. You want to vomit it out.
There must be some way to get your sexy back... but how?

[autoglassmasterclass]

breadsticks

[Dalmationer]

breadsticks

You eat some breadsticks. They don't do much for your SEXINESS but they increase your BREAD-FILLED stat by 1000000000000000000000000000000000%


================================================== =<')



you decide to answer the douchebag

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[/color]CT: HELLO, MAGGOT
CT: ....
CT: I SAID HELLO MAGGOT, MAGGOT.
CT: FRAN, MAGGOT
ct: I WHERE ARE YOU, SOLDIER, MAGGOT!?!?!
CT: I HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR AN ENOURMOUS AMOUNT OF TIME, MAGGOT
CT: TWELVE WHOLE SECONDS TO BE PRECISE, MAGGOT
CT: THIS IS INTOLERABLE. SO INTOLERABLE THAT I SHALL NOT TOLERATE IT TO EVEN BE A THING THAT HAPPENS, MAGGOT
CT: HOW SHAL I GO ABOUT MAKING THIS NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS YOU ASK? THE ANSWER, SOLDIER, IS SIMPLE! I WILL POUND YOU INTO THE DIRT SHOULD YOU IGNORE ME FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME IN EXCESS OF WHAT IS REQUIRED TO DROP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND ANSWER ME, MAGGOT
CT: CEASE YOUR WOMANLY SHENANIGANS AND RESPOND, MAGGOT
CT: DESIST YOUR FEMININE CAPERS AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. IT IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY CONCIEVE BOTH LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY, MAGGOT.
CT: YES THAT IS RIGHT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU NOW IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TENDING YOUR OWN SPAWN IF YOU HAD THEM, MAGGOT.
CT: IF I WAS IN YOUR POSITION WHICH I AM NOT I WOULD IMMEDIATELY DROP WHATEVER CHILD OR KITCHEN UTENSIL I WAS TENDING AT THE SPECIFIC MOMENT SOMEONE OF MY STRENGTH AND RANK BEGAN TO ATTEMPT TO CONTACT ME, MAGGOT.
CT: THANKFULLY I AM NOT IN YOUR POSTION BUT IF I WAS MAGGOT, I WOULD BE ASHAMED, MAGGOT.
AC: Oh h3y! Sorry I didn't respond
CT: LISTEN TO ME, MAGGOT, STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND LISTEN TO ME! GODDAMN IT MAGGOT LISTEN TO ME!, MAGGOT
CT: OOPS SORRY
AC: :I
AC: w3ll what did you want to say then?
CT: UH... HI, MAGGOT.
AC: H3llo, CT.
AC: H3llo.
CT: OH GOD, YOU ARE DOING THE THING AREN'T YOU, MAGGOT?
CT: I CAN JUST FEEL IT YOU ARE HOLDING SOME BREADSTICKS OR SOMETHING AND GIVING ME THAT LOOK OF JUDGEMENT AREN'T YOU, MAGGOT
CT: STOP IT, IT'S ANNOYING, MAGGOT.
CT: REGARDLESS OF THIS THE IMPORTANCE OF MY MESSAGE IS VERY CLEAR AND MUST BE HEEDED PERFECTLY, MAGGOT
CT: ARE YOU READY, MAGGOT?
AC: Sir y3s sir
AC: I m3an y3s.
CT: NO YOU MEAN SIR, YES, SIR, MAGGOT
CT: I SAID ARE YOU READY MAGGOT?
AC: sigh
AC: sir y3s sir
CT: I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MAGGOT
AC: SIR Y3S SIR
CT: OOOOOOOOOOOOH WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA, MAGGOT?
AC: shut up, CT.
AC: you know I hat3 that show
CT: YEAH... IT IS HARDLY BONERS, MAGGOT

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CT: REGARDLESS MY IMPORTANT QUESTION IS THIS:
CT: ARE YOU READY, MAGGOT
AC: g3t on with it.
CT: OKAY, MAGGOT
CT: IT IS THIS, MAGGOT
CT: HOW ARE YOU, MAGGOT?
AC: Is that it?
AC: How am I?
AC: Look CT, my hous3 has just b33n shot down by on3 of your bas3's cannons, I lost most of my s3xin3ss score b3caus3 of on3 of your id3otic aquaint3nc3s... and you ask m3 how I am?
AC: How I fucking am?
AC: I am actually so r3ady to go on anoth3r killing spr33, right3nnant
AC: And if you don't talk m3 out of it within th3 n3xt thr33 s3conds I'm going to burn your bas3 to th3 ground.
CT: YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING, MAGGOT
CT: AS MENTALLY UNSTABLE AS YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE, NO INSTABILITY IS TOLERATED IN THE ARMY, MAGGOT
CT: AND YOU WILL BACK DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL SUSPEND YOU, MAGGOT
CT: I WILL SUSPEND YOU SO HARD, MAGGOT
CT: THAT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE GOT INTO THE ARMY IN THE FIRST PLACE, MAGGOT
CT: THAT IS JUST HOW HARD I WILL SUSPEND YOU, MAGGOT
CT: SO HARD YOU WOULD NOT EVEN KNOW, MAGGOT
CT: ALSO I WILL CEASE TO COME TO YOUR NIGHTS OUT AND WILL NO LONGER ENGAGE IN THE HAIRDRESSING SPREES, MAGGOT
CT: AND I WILL RELENQUISH ALL HUGS, MAGGOT
CT: THAT IS THE PRICE YOU WILL PAY.
AC: Thank you
CT: ALSO I WILL FIND AND DESTROY WHOEVER FIRED THAT CANNON, MAGGOT
CT: BRB, MAGGOT.

WHO WILL YOU DO? WHAT WILL YOU BE? IT IS UP TO YOU

[OrangeAipom]

Be CT, maggotdesu.

[Dalmationer]

You are now CT, Desumaggot



but who is CT?

[OrangeAipom]

Zoom out so I can see your feet. I don't want to name you without knowing what your feet look like.

[Loather of Irk]

Stevan Seegal

[Dalmationer]

[Dalmationer]

[autoglassmasterclass]

soup

[Dalmationer]

Your name is STEVAN SOUPGAL and you have KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. BY HEADSHOTTING THEM.
You are a DRILL SERGEANT GRAND MARSHELLORD LEFTENANT RIGHTENANT in the MIGHTY TROLLTERNIAN NAVY CORPS. Although this means you are TOO IMPORTANT to be on the battlefield, you are on it anyway because you LIKE TO KILL. In fact, you are basically the reason the TROLLTERNIAN UMPIRE has been so successful. You taught him everything he knows about baseball. You are also the reason the TROLLTERNIAN EMPIRE has been so successful, because you have DESTROYED THOUSANDS OF PLANETS JUST BY HEADSHOTTING THEM WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER.

It is your opinion that violence solves everything. The founders of HIROSHIMA can testify for that, or they would if they weren't DESTROYED. You teach this fact to any NEW RECRUITS who you find because they are new, inexperienced, and not nearly as AWESOME AS YOU. Also they don't have a howitzer on their backs.

You are currently aboard your private SUPER GALAXY SIZED SPACE ROBOT which is being piloted by your PRIVATE PRIVATE, TERRY. When your not KILLING THINGS with your SUPERSONIC CRITBOOSTED FASTER THAN LIGHT PORTABLE RAILGUN HOWITZER EXPLOSIVE INCENDIARY FUCKER UPPER CANNON which you use to HEADSHOT PEOPLE, you enjoy SPARRING with your LUSUS, who has taught you many a fighting move. You are also fond of SHOUTING AT NEW RECRUITS, like a good DRILL SERGEANT, and SHOUTING AT YOUR MOIRAIL like a good friend. You SOMETIMES also do CROCHET, but cannot make anything except OVERLY LARGE BOOTS. You became interested in this when you googled it by accident after making a typo trying to type CROCKET. You like critical rockets because they are instagibs. You are also particularly enthusiastic about THREE LEGGED RACES, which you have no reason not to PARTAKE IN. You own numerous trophies which you have won in these races.

YOUR CHUMHANDLE IS CENTURIONSTEST AND YOU LIKE TO MAKE IT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THAT YOU TAKE EXACTLY ZERO SHIT FROM ANYONE. THE AMOUNT OF SHIT YOU GIVE IS ALSO NEGLIGABLE. TINY. INFINTISIMAL. THE SHITS YOU GIVE ARE LESS THAN THE MASS OF AN ELECTRON. YOU GIVE SO LITTLE SHITS THAT YOU ACTUALLY ABSORB SHITS FROM THOSE AROUND YOU, WHICH YOU THEN DO NOT GIVE. YOU ARE LIKE SOME KIND OF SHIT SINGULARITY, SUCKING IN SHITS NEARBY AND REFUSING TO GIVE THEM BACK. EVENTUALLY YOU WILL HAVE ALL THE SHITS AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE CONDEMNED TO A LIFE WITHOUT SHITS, MAGGOT

You are currently in the BRIDGE of your SUPER FUCKING BULLSHIT ROBOT. You suspect your lusus is on one of the lower decks shouting at privates. Probably one of the SHOPPING DECKS.

[autoglassmasterclass]

punch that bastard in the face

[Godbot]

> take boat

[Loather of Irk]

put on booties