MSPA Fanfiction VII: End of Thread 6 Flash

[drbwaa]

Alright you miserable miscreants. Guess what time it is? It's Dr Bwaa Just Finished Reading the Entire MSPA Fanfic Forum Archives Time. It's taken me a few months, but I did it, and all I can say is that you are all wonderful. I'd love to comment on each and every one of them (but hells no that's not going to happen, you all know what happened the last time someone tried that, valiant though his effort was). Perhaps one day I'll get it together enough to at least write something in return for you.

Long before I do that though: I don't know if I'm qualified to give them out, but fuck it because I believe there are two-and-a-half of these guys owed to people posting in the last couple pages (Poet you're 1/2 since you've "probably" posted here before; sorry I don't remember who wrote what well enough to confirm that ), so I'm just gonna leave this here:
2.5X COMBO

Make moar, all of you (I literally could not stop laughing all through Tennisstuck, oh my fucking god).

And of course, the current ongoing series are all completely fantastic (cG I cannot comprehend how you pump out so much high-quality fic so fast, but please never ever stop). (That last part goes for all of you). IF ANY OF YOU EVER STOP WRITING YOUR BEAUTIFUL FIC, I WILL FIRST LEARN TO CHANNEL KARKAT VANTAS BETTER THAN THIS, THEN EXACT UPON YOU THE MOST EXQUISITE VENGEANCE TO WHICH PARADOX SPACE HAS EVER BORNE WITNESS. Just saying.

[mythmonster2]

Wow, I certainly commend you on that dedication of reading through all this fanfiction, including some of my own, no doubt. Reading through this very thread reminds me that I haven't put up anything much in quite a while. This must be corrected, obviously, and I have a page of ideas written out somewhere on my computer. It must be consulted!

[Pixel20]

I don't know if I'm more than a year late to the Hivebent mood, but I wrote a story about Karkat in the immediate aftermath of destroying the Black King's scepter and also the aftermath of Aradia sending them to the Veil to hide.

Our Leader (Chapter 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You lay your head down on the cold, metal floor. It’s not very comfortable, but you simply do not have it in you to care at the moment. You let out an exhausted sigh, a very fitting punctuation to the chaotic, confusing day.
Upon reflection, you cannot believe all that has happened today. You’ve long since abandoned trying to wrestle with the logic of whether “today” is a term that means anything in the Incipisphere. With no blazing sun or rising of the moons, only sleep put a divide between consciousness. Even then, players found themselves conscious still in their dreams, continuing to work and plot and fight. No rest even for the sleeping. Not that you caught any sleep anyway.
You try to remember everything that happened, attempting to locate some glaring point where it all went wrong.

You cannot seem to find one.

Not one mistake, not one foreboding warning, not one dark cloud over your unstoppable trail to victory.
Recent events are all a blur. Your think pan throbs trying to grasp it all so soon. You are completely fried. You roll over, letting your forehead touch the metal. It sends a chill through your body, but it is the closest thing to comfort.

You just lie there for a moment, getting the most rest you have gotten in hours.

Turns out you can’t stand the stillness for that long anyway. You pound your fist on the floor and a frustrated yell escapes you. The sound echoes throughout the lab, but you forego feeling any embarrassment. You made certain that nobody followed you through the transportalizer.

This is pathetic, you think. Pathetic for a so-called leader.

*******

This is incredible. You have done it. You are the leader you have always dreamed to be.

For sweeps, your blood boiled with raging ambition, yearning for something more. You knew you were destined for greatness, just unsure of what that would be.
You always knew it, despite your outcast blood color. Despite the mockery and beatings you received when a neighborhood troll caught a glimpse of your wound.
You covered your societal rank up and kept your head down for sweeps, but when it was time to play this game, you stepped forward as the leader. You assembled your team and leapt head-first into danger. When it became obvious that your opponents were a part of the same session, you united the teams without trepidation. You led the remainder of your race through triumphs and obstacles.

And now you are victorious.

With his scepter destroyed, the Black King reverts to his original, smaller form. He is weak, defenseless, and generally unremarkable. He fell onto your floating lotus, and trembles with fear at the proximity of your fellow players.

The battle is won. It is time to finish him off.

You and your eleven comrades circle around him, but you take an additional step forward. As the team leader, you assumed it to be your responsibility and privilege to deal the killing blow. You take another step, fully expecting one of your more bloodthirsty and aggressive friends to claim the prize of the battle before you can

To your surprise, no one moves.

Instead, they look to you expectantly. From a few you could swear you notice a subtle nod, granting you permission to fulfill your duty and title.
Time seems to freeze as you realize how far you have come together. Your eleven companions, all frustrating and unstable in their own way, have recognized you as their leader in this moment.
After sweeps of ridicule, and weeks littered with insubordination, their actions right now speak louder than any of their words.

Something swells within you. A sensation you have never before felt. Is this what pride feels like? Is this triumph, or accomplishment? Is this bliss?
Or is it simply...friendship?

You can not help but glance over at each of your companions.
Eridan Ampora, the highblood that was never afraid to come to you for advice. As mocked and as much of a loner as you.
Aradia Megido, the unusual and confusing ghost robot. She constantly supplied her knowledge and time-traveling abilities to help you run the team.
Equius Zahhak, the sado-masochist brute. His unspoken acceptance of your authority and worth was the most satisfying of them all.
Tavros Nitram, the kind-hearted adventurer who overcame cowardice. He is one of the most kind-hearted trolls you have ever met, and has never tried to belittle or hurt you.
Feferi Peixes, the humble, former Empress-to-be. She has the most prestigious blood possible, but has never tried to treat you like dirt.
Vriska Serket, one of the most vicious and uncontrollable teammates a troll could have. And while she was a frustrating bitch sometimes, she turned to you as leader and trusted your intuition.
Gamzee Makara, the pacifist with no worries. For an infuriatingly annoying clown, he has wanted to be your friend like no other.
Nepeta Leijon, the enthusiastic and excitable hunter. Her feelings for you have been obvious for sweeps, and she has always been friendly and loyal.
Kanaya Maryam, your smart and sensible frog-breeder. You cannot think of a more reliable and supportive friend in your life.
Sollux Captor, the more successful hacker, warrior, and quadrant-filling magnet. Despite everything, he always understood you and tried to control your tantrums.
And Terezi Pyrope, the frighteningly clever and cutthroat strategist and comrade. Sometimes you found yourself thinking that she is the one who should truly be leader. You envy her cunning and her abilities, as much as you hate to admit it. Your relationship with her has been...complicated.

You snap back to reality, sensing your team’s impatience.
You glance at your weapon in hand. Fully alchemized, it wields incredible powers and hardly resembles a sickle anymore. This will not do.
You reequip yourself with a former weapon. The sickle you had combined with the Derse kingdom’s own Regisword. Pleasantly simplistic in its design, pure black. Much more fitting for the execution of the Dersite King himself.

You approach the prisoner of war. He continues his shiver. Is it fear, or anger? It does not matter. Your friends look on in anticipation. Their eyes say it all. The bloodthirst at the core of your race shows through.
But in their eyes is something else, too. A sign of change. They have all changed on this journey. Their eyes tell of a sense of triumph and happiness, a sense of acceptance of the team’s bond. There was not a single doubt in their minds that you would be the one to seal their fate and bring them to paradise.

You bring the weapon down on the King’s shoulder. As overcome as you are, you are not dumb enough to allow for any last-minute mistakes. Instead of giving the fallen monarch one final chance, you swiftly slash your sickle to the side, making a clean cut.

The carapacian’s candy red blood, identical to yours, spills out onto the lotus.
To you, for the first time in your life, the sight is almost...beautiful.
Your friends are well aware of your secret by now, and for a moment they contemplate if there is a deeper significance to this color.

The blood pours outward, trickling down the sides of the lotus onto the battlefield below.

It is done. You have succeeded.

The Knight of Blood has performed his final act as a leader and as a hero.

And with your companions by your side, you have never felt happier.

Thoughts and criticisms much appreciated!

[MindMessiah]

I don't know if I'm more than a year late to the Hivebent mood, but I wrote a story about Karkat in the immediate aftermath of destroying the Black King's scepter and also the aftermath of Aradia sending them to the Veil to hide.

Our Leader (Chapter 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You lay your head down on the cold, metal floor. It’s not very comfortable, but you simply do not have it in you to care at the moment. You let out an exhausted sigh, a very fitting punctuation to the chaotic, confusing day.
Upon reflection, you cannot believe all that has happened today. You’ve long since abandoned trying to wrestle with the logic of whether “today” is a term that means anything in the Incipisphere. With no blazing sun or rising of the moons, only sleep put a divide between consciousness. Even then, players found themselves conscious still in their dreams, continuing to work and plot and fight. No rest even for the sleeping. Not that you caught any sleep anyway.
You try to remember everything that happened, attempting to locate some glaring point where it all went wrong.

You cannot seem to find one.

Not one mistake, not one foreboding warning, not one dark cloud over your unstoppable trail to victory.
Recent events are all a blur. Your think pan throbs trying to grasp it all so soon. You are completely fried. You roll over, letting your forehead touch the metal. It sends a chill through your body, but it is the closest thing to comfort.

You just lie there for a moment, getting the most rest you have gotten in hours.

Turns out you can’t stand the stillness for that long anyway. You pound your fist on the floor and a frustrated yell escapes you. The sound echoes throughout the lab, but you forego feeling any embarrassment. You made certain that nobody followed you through the transportalizer.

This is pathetic, you think. Pathetic for a so-called leader.

*******

This is incredible. You have done it. You are the leader you have always dreamed to be.

For sweeps, your blood boiled with raging ambition, yearning for something more. You knew you were destined for greatness, just unsure of what that would be.
You always knew it, despite your outcast blood color. Despite the mockery and beatings you received when a neighborhood troll caught a glimpse of your wound.
You covered your societal rank up and kept your head down for sweeps, but when it was time to play this game, you stepped forward as the leader. You assembled your team and leapt head-first into danger. When it became obvious that your opponents were a part of the same session, you united the teams without trepidation. You led the remainder of your race through triumphs and obstacles.

And now you are victorious.

With his scepter destroyed, the Black King reverts to his original, smaller form. He is weak, defenseless, and generally unremarkable. He fell onto your floating lotus, and trembles with fear at the proximity of your fellow players.

The battle is won. It is time to finish him off.

You and your eleven comrades circle around him, but you take an additional step forward. As the team leader, you assumed it to be your responsibility and privilege to deal the killing blow. You take another step, fully expecting one of your more bloodthirsty and aggressive friends to claim the prize of the battle before you can

To your surprise, no one moves.

Instead, they look to you expectantly. From a few you could swear you notice a subtle nod, granting you permission to fulfill your duty and title.
Time seems to freeze as you realize how far you have come together. Your eleven companions, all frustrating and unstable in their own way, have recognized you as their leader in this moment.
After sweeps of ridicule, and weeks littered with insubordination, their actions right now speak louder than any of their words.

Something swells within you. A sensation you have never before felt. Is this what pride feels like? Is this triumph, or accomplishment? Is this bliss?
Or is it simply...friendship?

You can not help but glance over at each of your companions.
Eridan Ampora, the highblood that was never afraid to come to you for advice. As mocked and as much of a loner as you.
Aradia Megido, the unusual and confusing ghost robot. She constantly supplied her knowledge and time-traveling abilities to help you run the team.
Equius Zahhak, the sado-masochist brute. His unspoken acceptance of your authority and worth was the most satisfying of them all.
Tavros Nitram, the kind-hearted adventurer who overcame cowardice. He is one of the most kind-hearted trolls you have ever met, and has never tried to belittle or hurt you.
Feferi Peixes, the humble, former Empress-to-be. She has the most prestigious blood possible, but has never tried to treat you like dirt.
Vriska Serket, one of the most vicious and uncontrollable teammates a troll could have. And while she was a frustrating bitch sometimes, she turned to you as leader and trusted your intuition.
Gamzee Makara, the pacifist with no worries. For an infuriatingly annoying clown, he has wanted to be your friend like no other.
Nepeta Leijon, the enthusiastic and excitable hunter. Her feelings for you have been obvious for sweeps, and she has always been friendly and loyal.
Kanaya Maryam, your smart and sensible frog-breeder. You cannot think of a more reliable and supportive friend in your life.
Sollux Captor, the more successful hacker, warrior, and quadrant-filling magnet. Despite everything, he always understood you and tried to control your tantrums.
And Terezi Pyrope, the frighteningly clever and cutthroat strategist and comrade. Sometimes you found yourself thinking that she is the one who should truly be leader. You envy her cunning and her abilities, as much as you hate to admit it. Your relationship with her has been...complicated.

You snap back to reality, sensing your team’s impatience.
You glance at your weapon in hand. Fully alchemized, it wields incredible powers and hardly resembles a sickle anymore. This will not do.
You reequip yourself with a former weapon. The sickle you had combined with the Derse kingdom’s own Regisword. Pleasantly simplistic in its design, pure black. Much more fitting for the execution of the Dersite King himself.

You approach the prisoner of war. He continues his shiver. Is it fear, or anger? It does not matter. Your friends look on in anticipation. Their eyes say it all. The bloodthirst at the core of your race shows through.
But in their eyes is something else, too. A sign of change. They have all changed on this journey. Their eyes tell of a sense of triumph and happiness, a sense of acceptance of the team’s bond. There was not a single doubt in their minds that you would be the one to seal their fate and bring them to paradise.

You bring the weapon down on the King’s shoulder. As overcome as you are, you are not dumb enough to allow for any last-minute mistakes. Instead of giving the fallen monarch one final chance, you swiftly slash your sickle to the side, making a clean cut.

The carapacian’s candy red blood, identical to yours, spills out onto the lotus.
To you, for the first time in your life, the sight is almost...beautiful.
Your friends are well aware of your secret by now, and for a moment they contemplate if there is a deeper significance to this color.

The blood pours outward, trickling down the sides of the lotus onto the battlefield below.

It is done. You have succeeded.

The Knight of Blood has performed his final act as a leader and as a hero.

And with your companions by your side, you have never felt happier.

Thoughts and criticisms much appreciated!

It's never too late for fanfiction - in fact, it's best to do it once the event in question has been completed in canon so that you can get all the details right. Though that may just be me and my complete obsessiveness. In any case, I hope you continue, because this looks amazing. The only criticism I can think of is to vary the sentence structure a little bit, although as I never do that I'm not exactly one to lecture about it.

Oh, and props to Dr Bwwa for reading through all the fanfiction. All of it. I'll keep writing... I promise...

Please don't channel Karkat on me...

[Megafire]

Hey.

Guess what? There's finally a new Freedombound chapter out.

Equius: Search

[linkhyrule5]

So, could I ask for a few recommendations? I've dug through the TVTropes recs already, sadly -_-.

[The Poet]

Herding Cats, by childishGambino, is a favorite of the entire thread's at the moment; it's still in progress but is one of the longest Homestuck works out there.
Both Patronswap and Filling Blanks and Taking Names are two of my personal favorites, I don't know if anyone else here has read them.
And, if all else fails, go to the 'Bookmarks' button on AO3 and read the fics there, they ted to be pretty good.

Dr Bwaa, thanks for the maybe-welcome!
Megafire, I love your OotS avatar!

[Megafire]

@ The Poet.

THanks! It was made for me a long time ago.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@drbwaa: Shit, now someone's going to know what I'm talking about. That wasn't the plan at all! But a neverending well of praise for you and your reading ability. I've been here for six threads but I certainly haven't read everything, sadly enough.

@The Poet: Herding Cats is on the TV Tropes rec page! Suggesting to sort by bookmarks is a good idea, though. Kudos would be okay, if they hadn't turned that feature off. Hit counts are a bit less ideal since it can favours fics that update often over those that update less, but they're not a bad guideline. (I'd still prefer the old, chapter-specific kudos system that lasted about half a month, since it tells you which chapters people liked best, but when it comes to finding the best fics, fic-wide kudos make the most sense).


As it came up as frankenstein source for a major scene in the recent update of A Hand in Holding Hands, I've dusted off and restored my first fanfic, Musical Thrones complete with extremely poorly formatted commentary. I said it would come to this, didn't I? Yes I did. Near the end of Fanfic Thread 2, nextian suggested we provide DVD Commentary for a fic. It's a year and a half later, nextian, but your suggestion was not forgotten. I was just really, really slow about it.

Given that it already exists twice on AO3 as a result of the commentary, I'm afraid I'm not going to post it here (again). But here's the links.

Without Commentary (Careful, it's awful!)

With Commentary

[Pixel20]

Here's chapter 2 out of 3 of Karkat in the immediate aftermath of destroying the Black King's scepter and also the aftermath of Aradia sending them to the Veil to hide.

Our Leader (Chapter 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You lay your head down on the cold, metal floor. It’s not very comfortable, but you simply do not have it in you to care at the moment. You let out an exhausted sigh, a very fitting punctuation to the chaotic, confusing day.
Upon reflection, you cannot believe all that has happened today. You’ve long since abandoned trying to wrestle with the logic of whether “today” is a term that means anything in the Incipisphere. With no blazing sun or rising of the moons, only sleep put a divide between consciousness. Even then, players found themselves conscious still in their dreams, continuing to work and plot and fight. No rest even for the sleeping. Not that you caught any sleep anyway.
You try to remember everything that happened, attempting to locate some glaring point where it all went wrong.

You cannot seem to find one.

Not one mistake, not one foreboding warning, not one dark cloud over your unstoppable trail to victory.
Recent events are all a blur. Your think pan throbs trying to grasp it all so soon. You are completely fried. You roll over, letting your forehead touch the metal. It sends a chill through your body, but it is the closest thing to comfort.

You just lie there for a moment, getting the most rest you have gotten in hours.

Turns out you can’t stand the stillness for that long anyway. You pound your fist on the floor and a frustrated yell escapes you. The sound echoes throughout the lab, but you forego feeling any embarrassment. You made certain that nobody followed you through the transportalizer.

This is pathetic, you think. Pathetic for a so-called leader.

*******

This is incredible. You have done it. You are the leader you have always dreamed to be.

For sweeps, your blood boiled with raging ambition, yearning for something more. You knew you were destined for greatness, just unsure of what that would be.
You always knew it, despite your outcast blood color. Despite the mockery and beatings you received when a neighborhood troll caught a glimpse of your wound.
You covered your societal rank up and kept your head down for sweeps, but when it was time to play this game, you stepped forward as the leader. You assembled your team and leapt head-first into danger. When it became obvious that your opponents were a part of the same session, you united the teams without trepidation. You led the remainder of your race through triumphs and obstacles.

And now you are victorious.

With his scepter destroyed, the Black King reverts to his original, smaller form. He is weak, defenseless, and generally unremarkable. He fell onto your floating lotus, and trembles with fear at the proximity of your fellow players.

The battle is won. It is time to finish him off.

You and your eleven comrades circle around him, but you take an additional step forward. As the team leader, you assumed it to be your responsibility and privilege to deal the killing blow. You take another step, fully expecting one of your more bloodthirsty and aggressive friends to claim the prize of the battle before you can

To your surprise, no one moves.

Instead, they look to you expectantly. From a few you could swear you notice a subtle nod, granting you permission to fulfill your duty and title.
Time seems to freeze as you realize how far you have come together. Your eleven companions, all frustrating and unstable in their own way, have recognized you as their leader in this moment.
After sweeps of ridicule, and weeks littered with insubordination, their actions right now speak louder than any of their words.

Something swells within you. A sensation you have never before felt. Is this what pride feels like? Is this triumph, or accomplishment? Is this bliss?
Or is it simply...friendship?

You can not help but glance over at each of your companions.
Eridan Ampora, the highblood that was never afraid to come to you for advice. As mocked and as much of a loner as you.
Aradia Megido, the unusual and confusing ghost robot. She constantly supplied her knowledge and time-traveling abilities to help you run the team.
Equius Zahhak, the sado-masochist brute. His unspoken acceptance of your authority and worth was the most satisfying of them all.
Tavros Nitram, the kind-hearted adventurer who overcame cowardice. He is one of the most kind-hearted trolls you have ever met, and has never tried to belittle or hurt you.
Feferi Peixes, the humble, former Empress-to-be. She has the most prestigious blood possible, but has never tried to treat you like dirt.
Vriska Serket, one of the most vicious and uncontrollable teammates a troll could have. And while she was a frustrating bitch sometimes, she turned to you as leader and trusted your intuition.
Gamzee Makara, the pacifist with no worries. For an infuriatingly annoying clown, he has wanted to be your friend like no other.
Nepeta Leijon, the enthusiastic and excitable hunter. Her feelings for you have been obvious for sweeps, and she has always been friendly and loyal.
Kanaya Maryam, your smart and sensible frog-breeder. You cannot think of a more reliable and supportive friend in your life.
Sollux Captor, the more successful hacker, warrior, and quadrant-filling magnet. Despite everything, he always understood you and tried to control your tantrums.
And Terezi Pyrope, the frighteningly clever and cutthroat strategist and comrade. Sometimes you found yourself thinking that she is the one who should truly be leader. You envy her cunning and her abilities, as much as you hate to admit it. Your relationship with her has been...complicated.

You snap back to reality, sensing your team’s impatience.
You glance at your weapon in hand. Fully alchemized, it wields incredible powers and hardly resembles a sickle anymore. This will not do.
You reequip yourself with a former weapon. The sickle you had combined with the Derse kingdom’s own Regisword. Pleasantly simplistic in its design, pure black. Much more fitting for the execution of the Dersite King himself.

You approach the prisoner of war. He continues his shiver. Is it fear, or anger? It does not matter. Your friends look on in anticipation. Their eyes say it all. The bloodthirst at the core of your race shows through.
But in their eyes is something else, too. A sign of change. They have all changed on this journey. Their eyes tell of a sense of triumph and happiness, a sense of acceptance of the team’s bond. There was not a single doubt in their minds that you would be the one to seal their fate and bring them to paradise.

You bring the weapon down on the King’s shoulder. As overcome as you are, you are not dumb enough to allow for any last-minute mistakes. Instead of giving the fallen monarch one final chance, you swiftly slash your sickle to the side, making a clean cut.

The carapacian’s candy red blood, identical to yours, spills out onto the lotus.
To you, for the first time in your life, the sight is almost...beautiful.
Your friends are well aware of your secret by now, and for a moment they contemplate if there is a deeper significance to this color.

The blood pours outward, trickling down the sides of the lotus onto the battlefield below.

It is done. You have succeeded.

The Knight of Blood has performed his final act as a leader and as a hero.

And with your companions by your side, you have never felt happier.

Our Leader (Chapter 2)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The air is still for a moment, as if the universe is processing the event. The Dersite monarchy has been disposed of, the frog-breeding has been completed, and all other requirements have been fulfilled.
Deeming this satisfactory, the battlefield begins to glow. Your floating lotus begins to rise, higher and higher away from the ground. It seems you are being transported to your new universe.

Your paradise.

You look around you, and find quite a sight to behold.

Your co-players are rejoicing. Smiles crack through the weariness on their faces as they fail to control the excitement. Feferi and Nepeta are practically bouncing up and down. Gamzee returns to his mellow self, drained from the weird power he just unleashed. Vriska jabs at the air in gloating victory, ecstatic with her impossibly lucky roll of her dice.

Suddenly, you witness something you have never seen before on Alternia. It is a complete flurry of bodies as your friends begin hugging one another. Such embraces are a rare expression of affection amongst trolls, reserved usually for romantic relations. But such formalities are easily forgotten in the heat of the moment. Everyone is so overcome with emotion. This atmosphere of pure joy is completely alien to you.

You are knocked almost off your feet! It is Nepeta, squeezing her arms around you tightly. She’s suffocating you, but you don’t bother with that. She is saying things in your ear, but you cannot even make the words out. Hard to believe she is so full of energy after that.

After you concede and put your arms around her, she slinks away with a smile. Sollux walks over, adjusting his goofy glasses. With a surprisingly sincere grin, he holds his fist out. You complete the bro bump without hesitation. Acceptance.
Gamzee puts an arm around your shoulder, muttering something incoherent about miracles. You nod, in actual agreement. A miracle indeed.

Feferi gives you a hug as well. At first you are honored to be touched by royalty. Shortly after you realize you don’t care about blood color. Shortly after that you realize you don’t care about anything aside from the fact that she’s your friend. You return the gesture. Eridan and Equius shake your hand, seemingly above more careless expressions of rejoice. The latter’s almost crushes your bones, but you let it slide.

Remembering that you have working legs, you decide to spread the joy yourself. That is what a leader does, right? You pat Tavros on the shoulder with pride. He smiles at you. Spotting you, Vriska slaps you on the back a little too strongly. She cackles at your wince. Aradia gazes off in the distance at her hundreds of destroyed clones. A little creeped out by her cold stare, you simply pat her on the shoulder as well. You manage to mutter some sort of vague thank-you.

You spot Kanaya in the crowd, and hop over to her. When she sees you approaching, she smiles. You consider standing there awkwardly, waiting for her to speak, but decide against it. Instead, you simply embrace her. She laughs, and you begin to laugh too. You have never seen her like this. On further thought, she probably hasn’t seen YOU like this either. Oh well. She says you did a good job. You say you couldn’t of done it without her.

You let go of her, and take a moment to swallow the excitement. You feel strange, like you’re bursting with emotion. A lump forms in your squawk blister, and you let out a fake cough to cover up your weird demeanor.
You realize that you are smiling. This is such a rare spectacle from you that you put your palm to your face just to confirm it. There’s something else...

You see one last person in the crowd, laughing at you. She slinks towards you.

gC: H3H3H3! 4R3 YOU CRY1NG?

cG: WHAT? NO. DON’T BE RIDICULOUS.

gC: 1 C4N SM3LL TH3M

gC: YOUR SW33T C4NDY T34RS

cG: SHUT UP. I’M JUST TIRED.

gC: YOU KNOW 1 WOULDNT H4V3 S41D 4NYTH1NG 1F YOU W3R3NT SO 4DOR4BL3 4BOUT 1T

gC: 1TS OK4Y TO CRY

gC: 3V3N 1F 1T M4K3S OUR F34RL3SS L34D3R LOOK L1K3 4 P4TH3T1C W1GGL3R!

cG: CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME ENJOY SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN MY PITIFUL LIFE?

cG: WE WON. DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU AT ALL? WE FINALLY WON.

gC: OF COURS3 1T DO3S!

gC: 4ND TH3 TRUTH 1S

gC: W3 COULDNT OF DON3 1T W1THOUT YOU

cG: DON’T PATRONIZE ME, DAMN IT. JUST LET ME ENJOY THIS FOR A FUCKING MINUTE.

gC: 1M B31NG S3R1OUS

gC: YOU N33D TO R3L4X K4RK4T 3V3RYON3 L1K3S YOU MOR3 TH4N YOU TH1NK!

cG: WHATEVER.

cG: IT DOESN’T MATTER NOW. WE’RE DONE, RIGHT? IT’S TIME TO RULE OVER OUR NEW UNIVERSE WITH AN IRON FIST. AND MAYBE RUN AROUND AND FROLIC AND SHIT?

cG: YOU GUYS DON’T NEED A LEADER ANYMORE.

gC: 1 TH1NK W3 W1LL SOM3D4Y

gC: 4ND YOU D1D 4 PR3TTY GOOD JOB 1F 1 M4Y S4Y SO >:]

cG: I THINK YOU COULD’VE DONE BETTER. YOU’VE BEEN DYING TO HEAR ME SAY THAT, RIGHT? THIS WHOLE FUCKING GAME. “YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING I CAN, AND BETTER.” THERE. HAPPY?

gC: OH SHUT UP!

Silence. You both just stand there. Man has it been a long couple of weeks. You decide it is time for one last act of bravery.
You hold your arms out for her.

She laughs, and simply pats you on the head instead. You are practically overheated with embarrassment. She pauses, as if contemplating something, when a hush seems to come over the party.

You look around at what has caught the others’ attention. Your lotus has ascended into the Incipisphere, an endless sea of black now around you. It ceases moving in front of a large metal platform, with a hypnotizing blue door in the shape of the Sgrub logo before you.
The twelve of you step onto the platform. Aradia comments that this is the entryway to the universe you created.
This is your prize, just before you.

Once again, the group miraculously parts for you. Their fixed gaze, captured by the door, is broken to look to you.
You are their leader. They will follow only you.
You will receive their prize. You will usher them to paradise, to salvation. You feel a stirring deep within you, as if history had prepared you for this moment. Has this always been your destiny?

The door beckons you toward it, and you find yourself standing before it. You don’t remember walking, but you don’t even care. You gaze into the doorknob, mesmerized by its depth. It feels like there is a whole world simply within knob, pulsing with life.

Your friends look on in anticipation. There is undeniable desire in their eyes, although you do not look up to see it. Their minds, their essence, seem to pour out into you. Your arm moves itself.

Friendship.
Victory.
Paradise.

You reach out...


There is a loud sound. You will never know if your body froze or if it kept lurching forward, wishing to fall into the door.
There is a shout. You do not know whose.
Suddenly the world seems to spin, and you are swept off your feet. You are pulled away from the door, away from the light, away from the warm beckoning. For a brief moment you feel a strange joy in flight, but in the next you are jerked backwards violently. You see a swirl of your friends’ bodies and then blackness.

Your body smashes onto a cold, metal floor. You hear loud thuds all around you.
For a moment, there is silence. You still feel as if you and your companions are one. Linked together in body and spirit, sharing a single experience and emotion.
Your head swirls with confusion.
Is this paradise? you all ask without speaking.

A different emotion seeps in.
No.

You have failed.

Your entire being, unified, is struck with pure anguish. A moment, a sinking feeling, darker than you have ever experienced.

This is not paradise.

You have failed.

@MindMessiah: Thank you! You are definitely right about the sentence structure thing. It's a glaring problem, and I tried to fix it a little. I don't think I did that great of a job. I think it's partially because in my mind, choppy, staccato narration seems fitting for the mood of the situation. But it might just also be a flaw in my writing style. I hoped that the inclusion of the other trolls in this chapter helped to change things up a little.

One more chapter to go. Thoughts and criticisms still appreciated!

[Goan]

Okay, remember my fic I started like two pages ago? Yeah.

For the two of you who cared, and may or may not still care, it'll still happen. This post is really more for me. Anyway, I'll start writing it again. Soon. I use the Blizzard definition of "soon," which means that sometime between now and the end of time it will happen.

Soon.

[Flairina]

Poet, thanks for recommending FBaTN; best ancestor fic I've read thus far.

[Megafire]

I can also recommend reading 'Time To Change or To Change Time'.

[MindMessiah]

So I wrote another chapter of HarleyStuck, like I promised. This one's a little shorter than the others, and it's all on its lonesome this time, but at least it only took five days! (Yeah, I'm going to have to work on scheduling a little bit.)

HarleyStuck, Chapter 4

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First things first, you say you’ve got no idea where Alternia is?
No.
Well, you’re standing on it.
Or more accurately, you’re sitting down over one of its oceans.
I’ve got no idea where you come from if you don’t even know which planet you’re on.
Maybe you got loose from one of the Su8jugglator invasion ships?
Actually, I…
8e quiet. I’m doing the talking here.
Alternia is ruled by an Empress, who is chosen by virtue of being the highest-blooded troll - that’s us, by the way - on the planet.
The spectrum runs from purple-8looded royalty, to 8lue-8looded nobility, to green-8looded 8ourgeoisie. Any8ody else is, for all intents and purposes, a second-class citizen.
I am paraphrasing a 8it, of course, 8ut the full spectrum has twelve colours and I can’t be 8othered to list all of them and their precise roles in society.
The system has 8een in place since the sea-dwellers first met their 8rethren on land and promptly 8eat the shit out of them.
Even if they don’t like it, every8ody a8ides by it.
Until one troll spoke up.
Nobody knew this troll’s name, and most 8elieve that he has none. His lack of a name and a sym8ol have caused him to 8ecome known as the Signless.
There is nothing particularly unusual about the Signless, save for the fact that his 8lood is a shade of candy red that has never been seen 8efore.
Usually, such a mutation would result in death upon 8irth, but a troll known as the Dolorosa took pity on him for whatever reason and raised him in isolation.
And now, he’s leading a revolution.
Apparently, he suffers from crippling visions, telling him a8out a peaceful Alternia free of conflict or the rigors of the caste system.
I highly dou8t this, 8ut a good portion of the population doesn’t. Many low8looded trolls are now revolting against her Imperial Condense, and it’s 8een like this for almost three sweeps.
So your planet’s in the middle of a war too?
Pretty much, though the Signless insists on referring to it as a “civil rebellion”.
Who’s winning?
I don’t know.
The news has 8een hazy and 8lurred with propaganda on both sides, and to 8e honest I don’t care who wins.
Despite my prestigious 8lood status, I see no reason to support the Empire. The reign of the Condense has 8een one of tyranny and discord.
Even we Gam8ingants, the ones who feed her lusus, are ruthlessly prosecuted.
Without us, every troll on the planet would 8e killed, slowly and painfully, and yet she still endeavours to ensure our extinction.
Does that mean you support the Signless?
No.
I 8elieve him to 8e motivated purely by self-interest.
All his talk a8out a8olishing the caste system simply serves as a convenient excuse to seize the throne for himself.
If anything, the system will not 8e destroyed, but reversed.
I would rather stay out of the affair entirely and take advantage of the lowered military presence in my waters, but recent events have forced my hand.
How so?
8ou’d love to know, wouldn’t you?
Sadly, I’m not a8out to spill my plans to a random captive.
This whole discussion has gone on far too long.

The Marquise stands up, and pulls the bloodied knife out of the table. Wait, why is she coming towards… oh hell no. You writhe and squirm desperately, hoping to somehow break your bonds before the killing blow comes down, but the ropes are too tight and too thick and you can’t get anywhere and all you can do is watch the knife get raised and shut your eyes to brace for impact…

…and she cuts straight through the ropes keeping you shackled to the bunk. You feel rather embarrassed about freaking out like that.

Stay down 8elow deck and don’t try any funny 8usiness, and we’ll get along fine.
I’ll 8e 8ack shortly.

Turning to leave, she kicks the stool beneath the table, sheathing the dagger as she does so. But there’s one thing you still need to know.

Wait!
What is it?
Well, before you depart, I was just wondering...
What’s your name?

She halts halfway up the ladder to the upper levels and looks at you, eight black pupils staring into yours. Her expression is unreadable. After about five seconds, her mouth opens into a small smile as she answers.

Spinneret Mindfang.
Remem8er it.

She absconds.

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Well, it’s certainly an alien name, at the least. You wonder why you had such a compulsion to learn her name. It certainly isn’t for courtesy’s sake – within ten minutes of meeting you, she’s kidnapped you, stabbed you and forced you to listen to boring exposition. BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH.

You turn your attention to the gaping wound burrowed into your thigh. Fortunately, the bandana bandage seems to have stemmed the bleeding, and the pain is starting to subside. You heave yourself onto your feet, hoping that maybe you’ll be able to walk on this thing in a while. Just a couple of baby steps, just to the nearest support and back, just to give it a little exercise…

You collapse face-first onto the hard wooden floor.

Yeah, there was no way you were going to be able to make that.

The floor is only marginally less comfortable than the bunk you were just consigned to, and you lie on it for a good fifteen minutes, mulling over your situation. You are stuck on an alien planet, trapped in the hold of a ship filled with alien pirates who have shown themselves to have no problems with casual stabbings, and incapacitated by a serious leg wound. Outside the ship, there is apparently a violent war being raged, and you have no idea where you are or how to get back to the mysterious temple that took you here in the first place.

It’s about bloody time. You haven’t had a proper challenge for a while.

You don’t remember drifting off to sleep, but you must’ve done, because your comatose state is broken by a splash of cold water to the face. Gasping, you sit up, the brine dripping over your already soiled clothes. You look up to see one of Mindfang’s cronies standing over you, a dirty glass in his hand and an unimpressed scowl on his face.

-< OI, YOU >-
-< THE CAPTAIN TOLD ME TO COME DOWN HERE AND TELL YOU WE’VE REACHED PORT >-
-< SHE AND THE CREW ARE TAKING SOME ILL-EARNED SHORE LEAVE >-
-< BUT I’VE GOT TO STAY BEHIND AND BABYSIT YOU JUST BECAUSE I TOUCHED ONE OF HER STUPID DICE >-
-< SO DON’T TRY ANYTHING OR I’LL HANG YOU FROM YOUR OWN ENTRAILS >-
Very well.
Just make sure not to get blood on the suit, won’t you?

You get a sharp kick in the sides for that comment, but you figure it was worth it. It’s not as though your current outfit can get much filthier. The guard, seemingly satisfied with his little macho display, returns to the upper deck grumbling to himself, leaving the lower levels of the ship vacant save for you. So, the only thing keeping you from absconding the fuck out of here is a damaged leg and a single guard. A single guard who Mindfang had told to come down and tell you that an escape is now possible. Either she’s an incredibly incompetent leader, or she’s leading you right into an overly-convoluted deathtrap. From what you’ve seen so far, you’re going to put money on the latter.

Still, the opportunity seems too good to pass up. All you need to do is evade or incapacitate a single unwashed brute, get your bearings, and bypass whatever unnecessary scheme she’s implemented and you’re a free man again. From there, you reckon you can wrangle yourself up some means of transportation and navigation. You’ve been stranded in hostile territory before, and each time you have escaped unscathed. Surely, this time will be no different.

You are certain of it.

I was going to write another chapter, but then I got distracted and wrote this instead.

DUNG3ON CR4WL1NG FOOLS (In Which Trolls and Humans Try To Play D&D And Fail Miserably)

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CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW opened public transtimeline bulletin board TROLL/HUM4N ROL3PL4Y1NG.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TROLL/HUM4N ROL3PL4Y1NG.

CGC: 4LR1GHT THIS M3MO IS NOW OP3N!
CGC: 4RE YOU GUYS R34DY Y3T?
CGC: H3LLO?
CGC: F3LLOW ROL3PL4Y3RS?
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?EB: oh, are we starting now?
?EB: i’ll go get vriska!
CGC: Y3S W3 AR3 ST4RT1NG NOW DUMMY!
CGC: GOG
CGC: YOU GUYS 4R3 SO SLOW!
CGC: 1 M3SS4G3D YOU 4LL L1KE T3N M1NUT3S 4GO
CGC: 4ND YOU ST1LL H4V3NT GOT VR1SK4?
?EB: 1 sec, brb.
CGC: UGH
??? tentacleTherapist [?TT] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?TT: Pardon my delay, but I had to deal with some unwanted solicitors.
?TT: Are we ready to begin our attempt at interspecies diplomacy through the medium of tabletop gaming?
CGC: W3 WOULD B3 1F 3V3RYON3 WOULD HURRY UP
CGC: 4ND TH3R3 4R3 NO T4BL3S 1NVOLV3D
CGC: W3 4R3 CONDUCT1NG OUR S3SS1ON SOL3LY V14 TROLL14N 4ND P3ST3RCHUM
?TT: I’m perfectly aware.
?TT: So, who else is showing up for our little game?
CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: uH, i AM,
CAT: tHOUGH i DON'T, uH,
CAT: i DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY,
CGC: DON'T WORRY T4VROS
CGC: W3R3 4LL N3W TO TH1S G4M3!
CGC: JUST L1ST3N TO TH3 HUM4NS 4ND YOULL B3 F1N3
?TT: To be fair, I have only ever played one game.
?TT: It's John and Jade that are the experts.
?TT: Though from what I have heard, you played similar games on Alternia.
CAT: uH,
CAT: iS JADE PLAYING,
??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?GG: indeed i am!
?GG: all of us are
?GG: though i dont know about dave
?GG: he might be too cool for stuff like this
CAT: oH, oK
CAT: tHAT'S GOOD, i GUESS,
?TT: I'm sure Dave will be around.
?TT: If only to take the oppurtunity to deploy a series of jokes at our expense in the form of freestyle rap.
CAT: oH,
CAT: wELL THEN, tHAT'S LESS GOOD,
CAT: i THINK,
?GG: dont worry!
?GG: its all in good fun
?GG: and im sure we will all have a great time!
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAG: Okaaaaaaaay, I'm here.
CAG: What did you say we would 8e doing again, John?
?EB: we're going to play dungeons and dragons!
CAG: What's that?
CAT: uH, fROM WHAT TEREZI TOLD ME, i THINK IT'S A BIT LIKE FLARPING,
CAT: eXCEPT YOU DON'T, yOU KNOW, tHROW PEOPLE OFF CLIFFS,
CAT: oR THINGS LIKE THAT,
CAG: Pfffffffft.
CAG: Laaaaaaaame.
?GG: no it isnt!
?GG: its really cool!
?GG: you get to do all the awesome roleplaying without having to deal with all that dangerous stuff!
?EB: yeah, what jade said.
?EB: though this flarping stuff sounds amazing!
CAT: uH, sPEAKING AS SOMEONE WHO PLAYED FOR A LONG TIME,
CAT: aND GOT HURT, lIKE, rEALLY BADLY,
CAT: i CAN SAY THAT IT'S NOT THAT GOOD, rEALLY,
CAT: i THINK THIS SOUNDS A LOT SAFER,
CGC: 3X4CTLY!
CGC: W3 WON'T 3ND UP TRY1NG TO K1LL 34CH OTH3R OV3R 4 T4BL3TOP GAM3!
?TT: Of course not.
?TT: Our team has never resorted to ruthless spirals of violence over completely trivial matters.
?TT: That would be silly.
?EB: oh, quit fussing around!
?EB: this is just a friendly game.
?EB: i'm sure vriska will behave.
?EB: won't you, vriska?
CAG: I will if you stop referring to me like I'm some sort of pet.
?EB: hehehe.
?EB: so, are we going to start playing?
CGC: W3 C4NT Y3T!
CGC: W3 4R3 ST1LL W41T1NG FOR OUR DUNG3ON M4STER!
?TT: And who, pray tell, would that be?
??? turntechGodhead [TG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.
?TG: sup
CGC: YOU W3R3 JUST W41T1NG TO BURST 1N 4ND S4Y SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T
CGC: W3R3NT YOU?
?TG: maybe
CGC: >:]
?GG: wait a second!
?GG: youre our dungeon master?
?TG: why not
?TG: had nothing better to do
?TG: cept perhaps perfect my slam poetry
?TG: and i figure i can rap about how geeky you guys are
?GG: well
?GG: you seem a bit too...
?GG: cool for this :/
?TG: oh yeah
?TG: im way too radical to put up with this shit
?TG: but im doing it ironically
?TG: so thats okay
?EB: really?
?EG: you seemed to be enjoying our last game.
?TG: i am dedicated to my pursuit
?TG: my irony reaches levels you cannot hope to understand
CAG: Couldn't we have got someone who knows what they're doing?
CAG: Who isn't wearing sunglasses indoors?
?TG: fuck you the shades are rad
?TG: dont diss the shades
CGC: W3 COULD H4V3 GOTT3N N3P3T4 OR 4R4D14 TO DO 1T
CGC: BUT TH3YR3 BUSY
CGC: 4ND 1T 1S 1N TH3 B3ST 1NT3R3STS OF TROLL/HUM4N D1PLOM4CY TO L3T A HUM4N HOST A HUM4N G4ME!
CGC: B3S1D3S
CGC: 1M SUR3 D4V3 W1LL B3 4N 3XC3LL3NT DUNG3ON M4ST3R
CGC: >;]
?TG: yeah pretty much
?TG: i am the shit when it comes to dungeon mastering
?TG: so first step
?TG: you guys need to roll up your lameass characters
CAG: Don't worry, I've already got mine!
CAG: And she is a8solutely 8rilliant.
CGC: S4M3 H3R3!
CAT: uH, dO WE HAVE TO USE OUR OLD FLARPING CHARACTERS,
CAT: bECAUSE i'D, rATHER NOT DO THAT,
CGC: YOU DON'T H4V3 TO
CGC: YOU C4N M4K3 4N 3NT1R3L3Y N3W ON3 1F YOU W4NT!
?TG: yeah sure thing
?TG: you give me your dorky little descriptions and ill give you a proper badass
?TG: made of rad numbers and other shit
?TG: oh and ladies
?TG: i dont know jack shit about your characters so youre going to have to give me a proper summary
CGC: OH OK
CGC: W3LL MY CH4R4CT3R 1S...
CAG: Marquise Spinneret Mindfang!!!!!!!!
CAG: Ruthless pirate queen, scourge of the Alternian oceans, and redrom lover of epic proportions!
CAG: Her name is feared across the planet, her sheer 8rilliance enough to terrify even the most 8ravado of legislacerators!
CGC: GOG
CGC: COULDNT YOU 4T L34ST L3T M3 F1N1SH B3FOR3 T3LL1NG 3V3RYON3 ABOUT HOW WOND3RFUL YOUR CH4R4CT3R 1S?
CAG: Well, soooooooorry, 8ut you left us hanging and I needed to introduce mine too!
CAG: Did you get that, Shadesguy?
?TG: yup
?TG: sure thing spiderbitch
CAG: >::::(
?TG: while im working on that
?TG: terezi you were going to say something
CGC: F1N4LLY
CGC: MY CH4R4CT3R 1S N3OPHYT3 R3DGL4R3
CGC: 4 YOUNG BUT SK1LL3D L3G1SL4C3RATOR D3DIC4T3D TO TH3 PURSU1T OF JUST1C3
?TG: cool
?TG: just one troll left then
CAT: tHAT WOULD BE ME, i ASSUME,
CAT: aND IN THAT CASE, tHEN
CAT: i THINK THAT i WILL BE, uH,
CAT: rUFIO,
CAG: Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
CAG: You're actually going to pretend 8e the em8odiment of your imaginary self-confidence????????
CAG: That's the lamest thing I've ever heard!!!!!!!!
CGC: SHUT UP VR1SK4!
CGC: T4VROS C4N B3 RUF1O 1F H3 W4NTS TO B3
?GG: yeah exactly!
?GG: this is roleplaying
?GG: its about pretending to be what you want to be
?GG: and having fun while you do it!
?GG: thats the whole point!
CAT: uH, tHANK YOU, jADE,
CAT: aND TEREZI TOO, i GUESS,
CAG: Alright, jeeeeeeeez.
CAG: I'm just saying, the point is to win!
CAG: And Tavros can't do that with something he doesn't have!
?TG: john it sounds like you need to tighten spidergirls leash a bit
?GG: hehe :)
?EB: ok guys, could we cut this out now?
?EB: this really isn't funny.
?EB: besides, i thought we agreed to play nice?
?TG: alright stop having fun guys
?TG: the egbert commands it
?TG: and as we all know he is the master of what is funny
?TT: You cannot hope to beat Egbert in a prank-off.
?TT: He is simply the best there is.
?EB: oh wow this sarcasm is so hilarious, look at these laughs i am making, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
CAG: John, was that eight HAs you just typed out there?
?EB: uh, i don't know, maybe?
CAG: <33333333
CGC: OH MY GOG
CGC: OK TH4TS 1T
CGC banned CAG from responding to memo.
?EB: wait, what the hell terezi?
?TG: yeah okay even i have to admit that was a little out of line
CGC: R3L4X
CGC: 1TS JUST UNT1L T4VROS F1N1SH3S D3SCR1B31NG H1S CH4R4ACT3R
CGC: TH3N 1LL L3T H3R B4CK 1N
CGC: ITS JUST TH4T TH3R3S ONLY SO MUCH 1 C4N T4K3
?EB: well...
?EB: i suppose that's ok.
?EB: but still, it's a little rude just to kick someone out like that!
CGC: SO SH3 W4SN'T B31NG RUD3?
?EB: i guess, but...
CGC: TH4T W4S 4 RH3TOR1C4L QU3ST1ON
?TG: i think we could all use a break from her
?TG: everyone except john that is
?EB: what?
?TG: so tavros whats this rufio dude like
CAT: uH, wELL,
CAT: hE'S REALLY STRONG, AND CONFIDENT,
CAT: bUT HE'S A SUPPORTING PERSON,
CAT: aS OPPOSED TO, nEEDLESSLY AGGRESSIVE,
CAT: oR MEAN FOR NO REASON,
CAT: wOW, i AM NOT DOING A GOOD JOB OF EXPLAINING THIS,
?TG: dont worry dude
?TG: ive got enough
?TG: thats the wonderful thing about being the dm i can do whatever the fuck i want with these numbers
?TG: bitches cant do a damn thing about it
CAT: uH, oKAY,
CAT: tHEN THANKS, i GUESS,
CGC: W4S TH4T 1T?
?TG: yup
?TG: i can take care of all this "behind the scenes" shit
CGC: OK TH3N
CGC: GOG 1 4M GO1NG TO R3GR3T TH1S
CGC unbanned CAG from responding to memo.
CAG: What the fuck, Terezi????????
CGC: H3R3 W3 GO
CAG: All I did was make one little comment, and you 8anned me!
CAG: And then you stuck those stupid temporal locks on the memo so I couldn't reply unless I waited until you decided you'd had enough of messing with me!
CAG: Seriously?
CAG: That's low, even for you.
CGC: M4YB3 1F YOU WOULD STOP 4TT4CK1NG 3V3RYBODY TH3N 1D 4CTU4LLY L3T YOU T4LK
CAG: Oh come on, that's 8ullshit!
CAG: I can't get away with one little quip?
CGC: L1K3 YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO STOP TH3R3!
CGC: YOU C4NT GO F1VE M1NUT3S W1THOUT 1NSULT1NG T4VROS
GCG: 1TS R34LLY CR33PY 4CTU4LLY
CAG: So the girl who starts sniffing and licking everyone she meets and cackles to herself constantly isn't creepy?
CAG: All I'm trying to do is help him improve!
CGC: 1M SUR3 CR1PPL1NG H1M M4D3 H1M 4 MUCH B3TT3R P3RSON
CGC: 4S D1D 4LL YOUR UN3C3SS4R1LY CR33PY BL4CK SOL1C1T4T1ONS
CAT: i, uH,
CAT: i DON'T THINK, tHAT,
CAT: vRISKA IS, iS BEING,
CAT: uNECESSARILY,
CAT: cREEPY,
CAG: Shut the fuck up, Tavros!
CAT: uH,
CAT: oK,
CGC: H4H4H4H4H4!
CGC: YOUR3 JUST PROV1NG MY PO1NT H3R3
CGC: N3XT YOUR3 GO1NG TO S4Y YOUR3 NOT 1NT3R3ST3D 1N JOHN BY FL1RT1NG W1TH H1M
CAG: Oh my God, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!
CGC: OH MY
CGC: 1 TH1NK 1 TOUCH3D 4 N3RV3
CGC: >;]
?TG: ladies please
?TG: dont get me wrong i could watch this catfight all day
?TG: but we kinda need to start playing
?TG: we dont have all day here
?TG: well we do
?TG: but lets face it everybody else is getting really fucking bored
?TT: On the contrary, I'm quite entertained.
?TT: By all means, please continue.
?GG: no!
?GG: stop being mean you lot
?GG: some of us actually want to play!
CAT: yEAH, UH,
CAT: tHIS ARGUMENT IS, kIND OF POINTLESS,
CAT: aND i, wOULD LIKE TO GET STARTED,
CAT: bECAUSE i'M ACTUALLY VERY CURIOUS,
?GG: thats the spirit!
?GG: see guys? tavros has got it!
CAT: uH, WELL,
CAT: tHANK YOU, i THINK,
?EB: yeah, let's get back on track!
?EB: i want to make my character!
?TG: go ahead
?TG: shoot
?EB: well, my character is a brave, wrongly convicted ex-con with nothing to lose.
?EB: but don't let his rough exterior fool you! beneath that, he has a heart of gold.
?EB: he wants nothing more than to reunite with his loving family, and has been forced to take up adventuring to support them.
?TG: no
?TG: just no
?TG: stop
?TG: i cant let you do this john
?TG: not in good conscience anyway
?EB: oh come on!
?EB: what's wrong with basing my character off of cameron poe?
?TG: the fact that you even need to ask that question says so much
CAG: Oh shut up, Strider!
CAG: I think it's really sweet. ::::)
?EB: thanks vriska!
?EB: you see? connor airson is awesome!
?TG: you did not call him that
?TG: wait what am i saying
?TG: its you of course you called him that
?TG: whatever
?TG: i dont even care any more
?TG: ill get to work
?TG: rose try to make your character slightly more sane
?TG: of course shell be a snarky grimdark wizard girl with a strange wizard fetish
?TG: oh wait thats you
?TT: If you would stop rambling, could I get onto generation now?
?TG: yeah sure thing
?TT: Excellent.
?TT: Though any input of my own has been rendered obsolete by your startlingly accurate and comprehensive description of my character.
?TG: pretty much
?TT: Your florid descriptive skills are impeccable.
?TT: Anyway, I believe I shall forge out the character of Salmacis, the young archmage of the wizarding world with a passion for the darker arts.
?TT: And she has a cat for a familar.
?TT: Because why not.
?TG: so what i said but more wordy
?TT: If you insist on putting it in such vulgar terms, then yes.
?TG: cool
?TG: alright your turn jade
?TG: saving the best till last as always
?GG: :)
?GG: we dont all have to be humans right?
?TG: nope
?TG: weve got three trolls in the crew after all
?TG: its an equal oppurtunity adventuring party
?GG: so... what about a mix of two different species?
?TG: yes you can be a furry if you want to
?GG: yay!
?GG: XD
?EB: hey, how come jade gets away with being a furry but a character from con air is a no-go?
?TG: because jades reference material isnt stone cold retarded
?TG: now then lets get going
?EB: is that it?
?TG: yeah
?TG: its not like im bothering with any stats or stuff
?TG: im just rolling with whatever seems cool at the time
?EB: thats not a proper game of d&d though!
?TG: you were the one who insisted we all have fun
?TG: and i dont know about you but i have better things to do than fiddle with numbers and sheets and shit all day
?TG: call it improvisation if you want
?TG: or just casual roleplaying
?TG: fuck it i dont even have a rulebook here
?EB: so what was all that stuff you were saying earlier about behind-the-scenes work?
?TG: that was just to sound cool
?TG: i need some dm cred come on
?TG: so if you guys are done complaining then were ready to start
?EB: fine, let's go.
?TT: I figure we've been waiting long enough.
?GG: finally!
CGC: 4BOUT T1M3!
CAT: oH GOOD, wE'VE STARTED,
CAG: We've only 8een wai8ing a8out twenty minutes or so.
?TG: alright so
?TG: you all meet in an inn
?TT: How very original.
?TT: Are we going to go on a quest to destroy an ancient ring alongside a group of stereotypical fantasy races?
?TT: And leave the fate of the entire world in the hands of two midgets of questionable hetrosexuality?
?TG: stfu
?TG: so yeah anyway
?TG: the bartender looks up at this bunch of adventurers and goes "is this some kind of joke"
?TG: (get it)
?TG: (its like those "a bunch of idiots walks into a bar" jokes)
?TG: (anybody)
?TG: (nobody got that one)
?TG: (ok)
?TG: (weve started now btw so put any ooc chat in brackets)
?TG: (makes it easier to tell whether its you or your character who is being retarded)
CAG: (Relaaaaaaaax, I know how this works.)
CAG: *The Marquise walks up to the smug 8artender and shoves an exquisite flintlock pistol right in his face.*
CAG: If you keep making stupid quips like that, I'm going to provide your head with some extra ventil8tion.
CGC: (WOW, R34LLY?)
CGC: (TH4T'S YOUR ON3-L1N3R?)
CAG: (Who were you saying should stop attacking people again?)
?TG: (i think i should point out that pointing a gun in a dudes face in the middle of a crowded bar isnt exactly a good idea)
CAG: (Why not?)
?TG: (well the town has guards for starters)
CAG: (Fuck them! Town guards must be what, level 3?)
CAG: (I've got aaaaaaaall the levels. All of them.)
?TG: (um no you dont)
?TG: (you all start at level 1)
CAG: (What????????)
CAG: (No way! Mindfang is much 8etter than that!)
?TG: (sorry but thems the rules)
?TG: (deal with it)
?TG: (B|)
?TG: (you have to deal with it so badly i even used a shades emoticon)
?TG: (and i never use those)
CAG: (Uggggggggh, fine.)
CAG: *Mindfang holsters her gun and turns to her party.*
CAG: Would someone else please deal with this insufferable prick?
?EB: i'll take care of him.
?EB: *he says, in his gruff but not unpleasant voice.*
CAG: Excellent. Thank you, Airson.
CAG: You are a proper gentleman.
?EB: anytime, m'lady.
?EB: *he says in his husky tones*
?TG: (oh for fucks sake)
?TG: (can we just assume that anything your guy says is said in an unecessarily butch tone of voice)
?EB: (i guess so.)
?EB: *airson saunters up to the barkeep and motions for a round of beers.*
?EB: *in whatever the universal inn gesture for a round of beers is.*
?EB: *or maybe he just asks for them?*
?TG: (dude youre overthinking this)
?EB: (oh ok.)
?EB: so, heard any rumours lately?
?TT: (Wow, we are really conquering Cliche Valley today.)
?TT: (Rising our flag of uninspired fantasy atop thousand orcish corpses, all of whom were inexplicably evil for some reason.)
?EB: (come on rose!)
?EB: (it's a valid method of asking for work in any d&d game.)
?EB: (besides, it's an awesome phrase that makes you sound like a badass.)
?TG: (wow you actually believe that dont you)
?TG: (well whatever ill indulge you)
?TG: "yeah theres been a bunch of goblins raiding the local villages lately"
?TG: (dont even say anything rose)
?TT: (Actually, I was going to complement you for not using kobolds instead.)
?TT: (I'm glad that you trust us enough to take on ever-so-slightly more competent foes.)
?TG: (oh okay)
?TG: "go see the major if you want to do something about it"
?EB: got it.
?EB: sound good, team?
?GG: yeah!
CGC: W3 W1LL BR1NG TH3S3 CR1M1N4LS TO JUST1C3!
CAT: tH1S SOUNDS L1KE, a TH1NG WE SHOULD BE DO1NG,
CAG: Yaaaaaaaawn.
CAG: Do we have to spend our time saving this rat-infested dump?
CAG: We're heroes! There are far more prestigious quests than murdering a 8unch of greenskins!
?TT: As loath as I am to admit it, Mindfang has a point.
?TT: Surely we can find a task better befitting an archmage and a pirate queen than the scouring of a dirty little hole?
?TT: I'm certain that such a matter can be handled by the local authorities.
?EB: yeah, probably.
?EB: but we're heroes!
?EB: it's our job to save the poor and impoverished!
CAG: You made a minor mistake in that sentence, Airson.
CAG: Instead of "saving" the poor and impoverished, it should be "enslaving".
CGC: C4R3FUL M1NDF4NG
CGC: 1 TH1NK YOU L3T YOUR MOUTH RUN 4W4Y W1TH YOU TH3R3
CGC: YOU PROB4BLY SHOULDN'T B3 S4Y1NG TH1NGS L1K3 TH4T 1N FRONT OF 4 L3G1SL4C3RATOR
CAG: I was under the impression that you endorsed such 8ehavior.
CAG: After all, you were quite enthusiastic during our "partnership".
CGC: THOS3 T1M3S 4R3 OV3R NOW
CGC: TH3 ONLY R34SON 1M NOT 4RR3STING YOU ON TH3 SPOT 1S B3C4US3 W3V3 GOT B1GG3R PROBL3MS
?TG: (holy shit you two really get into this)
?EB: (i know! it'd make an awesome movie.)
?EB: (a dedicated law enforcer and a ruthless criminal, forced to put aside their differences in order to take down a much more heinious offender!)
?TG: (im pretty sure thats been done by everybody ever)
?TG: (plus it pretty much works the same way in real life)
?TG: (maybe)
?TG: (i dunno much about trolls)
?TG: (hey vriska is random murder socially acceptable where you come from)
CAG: (Is 8eing an irritating douche socially accepta8le where you come from?)
?TG: (wow okay no need to get snippy)
?TG: (just asking is all)
?TG: and so our heroes were at an impasse
?TG: they could not decide whether to be self righteous pricks or uncaring douchewaffles
?TG: so the decision came down to their leader
CAT: (uH, i DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU,)
CAT: (bUT I DON'T THINK WE HAVE A LEADER,)
CAT: (wELL, nOT YET, aNYWAY,)
?TT: (I assumed that John would be the party leader.)
?TT: (After all, he has taken on the role very effectively in Sburb, and he certainly possesses the many qualities of an excellent stragetist.)
?TG: (youre joking right)
?TT: (Well, at the very least he never acknowledges when he's lost.)
?EB: (what? no!)
?EB: (i'm not your leader, i'm your friend!)
?TT: (I know, John. You've said this before.)
?TT: (Though it manages to maintain its gravitas somehow.)
CAG: (Well, regardless of how heroic and handsome a leader John would 8e, it seems he doesn't want the jo8.)
CAG: (So who 8etter than the legendary Spinneret Mindfang?)
?TG: (what no)
?TG: (were desperate but not that desperate)
CGC: (WH4T H3 S41D)
CGC: (1F W3 DO 4PPO1NT 4 L34D3R 1 WOULD PR3F3R TO HAV3 SOM3ON3 WHO 1SNT PSYCHOP4TH1C)
CAG: (Hey!)
CAT: (tHEY ARE, kIND OF RIGHT THOUGH,)
CAT: (wHEN YOU'VE HAD POWER OVER ME, yOU TEND TO ABUSE ME,)
CAT: (sORRY, i MEAN IT,)
CAT: (aLTHOUGH THE FIRST ONE WAS KIND OF RIGHT,)
CAT: (bUT WHENEVER YOU'RE ON TOP, yOU ALWAYS HURT ME,)
CAT: (wOW, i DID NOT WORD THAT WELL,)
CGC: (T4K3 A LOOK 4T TH4T VR1SK4)
CGC: (3V3N T4VROS 1S ST4ND1NG UP TO YOU)
CAG: (8ut that's 8ecause he's a nasty little wimp who loves to snipe at me 8ehind my 8ack.)
CAT: (i DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS, bEHIND YOUR BACK,)
CAG: (Shut up, no8ody asked you.)
CAT: (uH, oKAY,)
CAG: (Seriously, you guys have seen how well I've done so far.)
CAG: (What's to say I can't 8e leader?)
CGC: (TH3 F4CT TH4T 1 DONT W4NT 4 KN1F3 STUCK THROUGH R3DGL4R3S B4CK)
CAG: (Come on now, why would I do that?)
CGC: (YOUV3 N3V3R N33D3D A R34SON B3FOR3)
CGC: (4FTER 4LL)
CGC: (WH4T D1D 4R4D14 DO TO YOU?)
?TG: (whoa now)
?TG: (my time powers tell me that shit is going to hit the fan within the next five seconds)
?TG: (so lets cut this short)
?TG: (how about this)
?TG: (tavros jade and terezi can go off and be heroic)
?TG: (while john can take his little harem off to greener pastures)
?TT: (I'm sorry, what?)
?TG: (everybodys happy)
?EB: (yeah, but you're splitting the party!)
?EB: (that's breaking the first rule of dming!)
?EB: (never split the party!)
?TG: (relax)
?TG: (i can handle it)
?TG: and so our party of heroes decided to split up
?TG: one half would search the surrounding area for fame and riches
?TG: while the other would help deal with the goblins occupying shitstain or wherever it is
?TG: little did they know that their quest was about to spiral out of control like a pensioners car in a hurricane
?TG: with the fateful arrival of
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
CCG: I THOUGHT I GAVE OUT CLEAR ORDERS FOR EVERYONE TO NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ROLEPLAY WITH THE HUMANS.
CCG: AND YET WHAT DO I FIND?
CCG: AN ENTIRE FUCKING MEMO DEDICATED TO IT.
CCG: NEWSFLASH, ASSWIPES: WHEN I GIVE AN ORDER, I MEAN IT.
CGC: R34LLY K4RK4T?
CGC: 4S MUCH 4S 1 4PPR1C14T3 YOUR DR4M4T1C S3NS3 OF T1M1NG
CGC: W3R3 JUST H4V1NG A B1T OF FUN!
CCG: OH, HAHA, I'M LAUGHING UP A FUCKING STORM.
CCG: HASN'T IT OCCURED TO YOU THAT WE'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH OUR TIME?
CCG: LIKE, YOU KNOW, MAKING SURE WE GET OFF THIS SHITHOLE ALIVE?
CGC: OF COURS3!
CGC: BUT YOU TH1NK W3R3 DOOM3D 4ND TH4T TH3R3S NO PO1NT 1N 3V3N TRY1NG
CGC: SO WH4T B3TT3R TH1NGS 4R3 TH3R3 TO DO TH4N 3NJOY SOM3 ROL3PL4Y1NG B3FORE TH1S "CR1T1C4L MOM3NT"?
CCG: I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE SOMETHING OTHER THAN FUCKING AROUND MOCKING THE LEGACY OF TROLL GARY GYGAX?
CCG: JUST BECAUSE WE'RE DOOMED DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO SPEND OUR LAST MOMENTS ACTING AS INEXPLICABLY RETARDED AS POSSIBLE.
CCG: GOD, HOW DID FUTURE ME NOT PICK UP ON THIS?
CCG: THAT GUY IS SUCH A DOUCHEBAG.
CCG: WHATEVER. I'M SHUTTING THIS PLACE DOWN.
?GG: come on karkat!
?GG: theres nothing wrong with a bit of roleplaying
?GG: is there?
CCG: THE LAST TIME WE WENT THROUGH THIS ROLEPLAYING SHIT, TAVROS ENDED UP IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR.
CAT: wELL, yES, tHAT DIDN'T STOP BEING A THING THAT WAS TRUE OR ANYTHING,
CAT: bUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT,
CCG: SHUT UP ASSHOLE, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION.
CAT: oH, oKAY,
CGC: YOU C4NT SHUT US DOWN K4RK4T
CGC: 1M TH3 M3MO HOST R3M3MB3R
CCG: FORTUNATELY FOR ME, THAT DOESN'T MAKE A BLIND BIT OF DIFFERENCE, OFFENSE FULLY INTENDED.
CCG: BECAUSE GUESS WHO I BROUGHT ALONG?
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTA: hey agaiin KK.
?TG: whos this douchebag
CTA: ii am the hacker.
CTA: iit2...
CTA: you know what? fuck iit.
CTA: iim not gettiing iinvolved iin thii2 stupiid meme 2hiit.
CTA banned CGC from responding to memo.
CTA banned ?TG from responding to memo.
CTA banned CAT from responding to memo.
CTA banned CAG from responding to memo.
CTA banned ?EB from responding to memo.
CTA banned ?TT from responding to memo.
CTA banned ?GG from responding to memo.
CCG: THERE WE GO.
CCG: NOW WE CAN GET BACK TO SHIT THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS.
CTA: liike walkiing around and talkiing to people?
CCG: YES, EXACTLY.
CCG ceased responding to memo.

CTA closed memo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so sorry. For everything.

@MindMessiah: Thank you! You are definitely right about the sentence structure thing. It's a glaring problem, and I tried to fix it a little. I don't think I did that great of a job. I think it's partially because in my mind, choppy, staccato narration seems fitting for the mood of the situation. But it might just also be a flaw in my writing style. I hoped that the inclusion of the other trolls in this chapter helped to change things up a little.

Wow, someone took my advice! Whether or not that's ever a good idea, I don't know, but thanks anyway. It's not as though I ever try to vary my sentence structure anyway. Homestuck fanfiction does often lend itself to a very choppy narration style, and it's difficult to strike a fine balance between fragmented, disjointed sentences and text that's far too flowery to convey the necessary emotions. I myself end up swerving between the two like an incredibly drunk driver. Anyway, glad to see you're keeping up the good work, and I look forward to part three.

[NeoDarklight]

MindMessiah, you are incredible. You wrote two stories of pure awesomesauce. Keep it up!

[MindMessiah]

MindMessiah, you are incredible. You wrote two stories of pure awesomesauce. Keep it up!

Thank you! Once again, I have no idea how to respond to praise, but I'll keep writing, I promise. You have permission to hunt me down if I don't write anything for two weeks without a decent excuse.

EDIT: Wow, I made a lot of grammatical mistakes in that second one. I figure that serves me right for doing my proofreading at 2am. Time for some more editing, I guess.

EDIT2: And now I've only just realised that I fucked up Tavros' quirk pretty badly. I'm going to have to fix that too.

[The Poet]

That was great, MindMessiah! It was really nicely done, everyone was in-character.

[Kerensky287]

Hey guys! I'd be surprised if anybody remembers me but I decided to prove that I can still do this stuff at will. Kinda short, only took me 20 minutes, but I feel it serves its purpose.

If you wish for musical accompaniment, I recommend this.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Some may tell you that the truest torture is pain. But while it may be excruciating at first, an agony that transcends the body and scars the mind, eventually one escapes; either they learn to ignore the pain, living within themselves with no regard for reality, or they go mad, finding freedom in insanity. Sometimes both. No, pain is not the truest torture.

Others say that deprivation is more effective. Starve them, suffocate them, isolate them. But that too becomes a mere state of mind. One learns to accept the new norm, or they die; either way, it ceases to be torture for long.

No, I have seen the true face of torture. All others are merely facets.

All torture arises from a lack of purpose.

Trapped in his world, I have had ample time to contemplate it. His is an uncomfortable, disturbing peace. The reality he has created has no war, no conflict, unless it follows the peculiar logic of the realm. My lot in life has become my totality. I am nothing but misfortune. And with nothing to strive for, nothing to earn, I have become sloth incarnate.

I know not what he thinks of me. At first I thought he harbored some twisted grudge, to form such a world around me. But now I suspect he believes himself my owner. I am a toy to him. A plaything, or a pet. He watches out for me, in a roundabout way. He advises caution, when it suits him. Other times, he merely observes.

This was one of those times.

He had told me before, but I failed to listen, or perhaps I had let my guard down at this particular moment. I sought to distract myself from the pain, the emptiness of my own worthless existence, and the excitement itself diverted my focus.

One misstep, and I was sent tumbling.

In a panic, I cried out; I must have known that calling for help would be meaningless, but I suppose I must somehow have sensed that he was near. And on the first of my many, many upsets, I saw him. He stood at a distance with that desolate gaze, that wide grin of perpetual amusement. Did he know what would come to pass? Had he shown up just to watch me fall? As always, he gave no hint of his methods or reasons. He spoke only the truth, and this time it was a truth that resonated deep into my soul.

"I warned you about stairs, bro," he said. "I told you, dog."

All I knew for a long time was the concussive pain as I struck the staircase countless times, and the white, featureless void that surrounded me. The nature of the realm was such that I may not even have been falling; time may not have been moving. It is difficult to explain. But it was a literal eternity, perhaps more than one, before my torment was ended. I no longer recall how it stopped, or why. Sometimes I suspect it continues still, and that life as I know it is but a hallucination brought on by desparation, a need to believe that there is a world beyond that endless flight.

I should have known. I should have heeded his warning. But I did not. I was a fool, and the consequences were my just reward.

"I told you, man! I told you about stairs!"

I have ideas for more.

[NeoDarklight]

Hey guys! I'd be surprised if anybody remembers me but I decided to prove that I can still do this stuff at will. Kinda short, only took me 20 minutes, but I feel it serves its purpose.

If you wish for musical accompaniment, I recommend this.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Some may tell you that the truest torture is pain. But while it may be excruciating at first, an agony that transcends the body and scars the mind, eventually one escapes; either they learn to ignore the pain, living within themselves with no regard for reality, or they go mad, finding freedom in insanity. Sometimes both. No, pain is not the truest torture.

Others say that deprivation is more effective. Starve them, suffocate them, isolate them. But that too becomes a mere state of mind. One learns to accept the new norm, or they die; either way, it ceases to be torture for long.

No, I have seen the true face of torture. All others are merely facets.

All torture arises from a lack of purpose.

Trapped in his world, I have had ample time to contemplate it. His is an uncomfortable, disturbing peace. The reality he has created has no war, no conflict, unless it follows the peculiar logic of the realm. My lot in life has become my totality. I am nothing but misfortune. And with nothing to strive for, nothing to earn, I have become sloth incarnate.

I know not what he thinks of me. At first I thought he harbored some twisted grudge, to form such a world around me. But now I suspect he believes himself my owner. I am a toy to him. A plaything, or a pet. He watches out for me, in a roundabout way. He advises caution, when it suits him. Other times, he merely observes.

This was one of those times.

He had told me before, but I failed to listen, or perhaps I had let my guard down at this particular moment. I sought to distract myself from the pain, the emptiness of my own worthless existence, and the excitement itself diverted my focus.

One misstep, and I was sent tumbling.

In a panic, I cried out; I must have known that calling for help would be meaningless, but I suppose I must somehow have sensed that he was near. And on the first of my many, many upsets, I saw him. He stood at a distance with that desolate gaze, that wide grin of perpetual amusement. Did he know what would come to pass? Had he shown up just to watch me fall? As always, he gave no hint of his methods or reasons. He spoke only the truth, and this time it was a truth that resonated deep into my soul.

"I warned you about stairs, bro," he said. "I told you, dog."

All I knew for a long time was the concussive pain as I struck the staircase countless times, and the white, featureless void that surrounded me. The nature of the realm was such that I may not even have been falling; time may not have been moving. It is difficult to explain. But it was a literal eternity, perhaps more than one, before my torment was ended. I no longer recall how it stopped, or why. Sometimes I suspect it continues still, and that life as I know it is but a hallucination brought on by desparation, a need to believe that there is a world beyond that endless flight.

I should have known. I should have heeded his warning. But I did not. I was a fool, and the consequences were my just reward.

"I told you, man! I told you about stairs!"

I have ideas for more.

...I feel like I was just Rick Roll'd. Except this time it actually has an effect on me. (I actually enjoy those Rick Asley videos for some inexplicable reason.)

[Flairina]

...I want a sequel to that DND session. XD

[drbwaa]

Oooooh Kerensky. Nicely done.

And MM, that D&D session is completely hilarious. Karkat's arrival is obviously perfect. I'm surprised Nepeta couldn't convince Equius to let her play, though.

EDIT @CG: I was about to go to sleep damn youuuuuuuu. 26000 is a lot of woooooooords!

[childishGambino]

Hey, remember back when I was writing that one fanfic about Nepeta and I guess there was some shipping involved? Well, that still exists. It didn't stop existing or anything. I just kind of hit a slump because [REASONS], but after a long, hard struggle, I finally finished chapter 20. A bunch of stuff happens. So much stuff. 26,000 goddamn words worth of stuff. Remember when I wrote chapters that were a reasonable length? No, I don't either. Anyway, here is the link.

Herding Cats - Chapter 20

[Varkarrus]

WOOT

[Tirgo]

YES

HELL YES

HELL FUCKING YES

oh my jesus all these words and sentences

THE NEVERENDING CHAPTER

[Varkarrus]

I have to say this memo took me a solid hour to read, and I'm a speed reader.