MSPA Fanfiction VII: End of Thread 6 Flash

[SkaianRedeemer]

@tiiamat: I have no mouth but I must ragecaps?

[tiiamat]

Bingo Skaian!
I'm not really close to done with it all, but when its done I promise to post it!

[ArcFour]

@tiiamat: I have no mouth but I must ragecaps?

That made me lol so hard that I'm getting weird looks.

[childishGambino]

Okay, so. Chapter 15 of Herding Cats is up. This took entirely too long. It also is entirely too long. 20,000+ words? Seriously, self? Anyway, a bunch of stuff happens. Courtroom drama. Puns. Equius being fucking awesome. Past Karkat being a douche. Future Karkat being a douche to Past Karkat. Puns. Confirming things the average MSPA reader probably already guessed five chapters ago. Fresh jams. Ladies getting sassy. Dudes getting sassy. More puns. And some other stuff. Read it, maybe?

Herding Cats - Chapter 15

[Varkarrus]

woooooooooo

EDIT: noooooo AO3 is down.
Can you post it here? It says it will take a few weeks?!?!?!?

E2: okay it's back up now nevermind

[draconicAlgorithm]

Can I just say that the new chapter of Herding Cats was glorious?

Okay.

[mythmonster2]

Good lord, every chapter of Herding Cats just keeps on getting better and better. I had to stop reading at so many points because I was so busy doubling over in laughter. Again, I love this thing you got going on here, gambino, and I can't wait for more.

[SkaianRedeemer]

I don't wanna be the one to change the subject without any commentary of my own, but I'm not caught up on Herding Cats yet, so...


As a supplement to my post from a few days ago, I actually put up a few drafts from my dropped fics when I uploaded the notes to AO3. There are new scraps (the final scraps, really) for the following fics:

• Detailed puzzle notes and a few planned jokes for Turnabout Cupcake.
• Two short sequences (aka a steaming pile of nothing) from Nepeta's introduction in Patcheye. I'm not exactly fond of how Patcheye turned out. I'm not sure if that was ever clear.
• The first page of the Not My Fault sequel, which I can't link, because it's attached to the actual Not My Fault, and NMF has too many sex jokes for the forum. Which is too bad, because the NMF sequel's page-long scrap was probably my best bit in this lot and is perfectly work-safe. Go track it down if you liked the original!

There. I wash my hands of the lot of them. I actually realized I do have one other entirely new plot idea I forgot to outline with the others, but I haven't decided if I care to. We'll see how that goes.


Hey, while I'm here, I figured I'd point out that there's a demo of the new chapter of A Hand in Holding Hands in its thread that I'm looking for feedback on regarding a certain issue. Still not exactly sure how to proceed with the issue, so I'm going to spread the request for feedback around a bit, even if you do sort of have to know what's going on in aHiHH to help me out. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

[Flairina]

Can I just say that the new chapter of Herding Cats was glorious?

Okay.

Second... er... third... whatever the number of people who've said this is awesome +1ed.

[researcherWisemon]

I'm just going to Nth the notion of the latest chapter of Herding Cat's being totally awesome.

Three Future Karkat's getting along? NepetaEridan confirmed?

Hell. YES.

[The Illusive Man]

SkaianRedeemer told me that I could post my Eridan Rose fic here. I wanted to call it "ERIDAN AND ROSE GO ON SEVERAL DATES WHILE KANAYA PLAYS UNFITTING MUSIC". I also get the feeling Hussie should be playing Unfitting Music, though.

Here's the prologue, for anybody who cares:

Rose and her friends one day hang out at a new house she purchased, in order to watch the movie adaptation of Complacency of the Learned. Dave had purchased the DVD for ironic reasons, and decided to eventually surrender the disc to Rose for her birthday. John always appreciated movies, so he decided to come over and watch Complacency of the Learned for the hell of it. Jade finally got to meet all of her friends in real life, and got to see an actual film as an added bonus. They all watched Complacency of the Learned, with Dave riffing it. He already saw the film. He knew what went on, and practically spoiled most of the film within earshot of everyone else. He did this for irony.

Eventually, Dave's tide of irony was cut short by a doorbell being rung. Rose paused the movie. She eventually stopped caring about what was going on in the film, courtesy of Dave's riffing. So, instead of hitting Dave with several chairs to shut him up, she opened her front door. Eridan was at the door, and he held some flowers. They were an odd hybrid of the red rose and the water lily, probably found from an expensive florist shop. Or Jade's backyard. But where the flowers came from was irrelevant.

"greetings, landdwweller. you're rose, right?," Eridan asked with an awkward smile on his face.

Rose gasped audibly, drawing the attention of her friends. They, too, saw Eridan at the door. Dave couldn't help but laugh as soon as he saw the flowers, while John and Jade waved hello to a troll for the first time in ever. Rose stammered for words, while Eridan kept going.

"wwith vris and tav's aid, i havve fucked shit up enough to gain a poseidon tier"

Dave laughed louder, as Eridan gave the flowers to Rose. She then slowly remembered who Eridan was. Her gasp turned into a glare. Suddenly, things were not so hopeful. But that was when John gave Eridan a hug.

"You're one of Vriska's friends, right?," John asked in curiosity. Eridan gave a shrewd nod, as John pulled him inside, "Welcome to my friend Rose's house!"

Rose facepalmed, "John, what the hell are you doing?"

John turned to Eridan, while escorting him to Rose's backyard pool. He then pushed Eridan into the pool, then turned around to face Rose.

"Come on, Rose. We have a new guest! Maybe he can liven up what Dave's commentary during Complacency of the Learned couldn't?," John shrugged.

Jade and Dave smirked and high-fived each other, as Eridan was showing off newfound swimming skills, as well as newfound aquakinesis, behind their friend. Suddenly, Rose was impressed. Perhaps this loser wwizard was no longer a loser? As Eridan's eyes shone red, so did Rose's. Eventually, she jumped into the pool, pulling off wwizard moves of her own to rival his.

"So, uh, do you guys wanna finish Complacency of the Learned? I still have a couple jokes that aren't used," Dave asked Jade and John. He was still chuckling, but also knew not to disturb couples. If Terezi had shown up, Rose would know to leave him and her alone together. So, in kind, Dave did the same for Rose regarding Eridan. Although he himself thought Rose was going to get along best with Kanaya. Or Karkat. Karkat and Rose were both equally moody individuals with, in his opinion, equally bad taste in literature. But alas, Eridan was who she had matesprit eyes for. And Dave did not know, or care, why.

Rose's friends left Rose and Eridan to play in the backyard pool. And all was Rufio.

[The Poet]

Hi! I'm just getting in to the Homestuck fandom, but I had a fit of inspiration a while ago and wrote up this.
I just went through and read all of Herding Cats. It was amazing... I loved Tavros's monologue to Sollux, and the three Karkats were epic. NepetaEridan is one of my new favorite ships.

[ArcFour]

@The Poet: I really enjoyed that! It was clever, and I'm always a fan of stories that do something in patterns like that.

Update on my new project: Chapter 4 of 7 is done! Here's a little tidbit of some of the story.

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The image hits me like a battering ram, and for a moment I’m lost in the past.

She smiles, wicked and wide and false as a china doll’s, but I can only tell because the miniscule bit of light from the nearly-empty moon is shining on her grin. Her voice sounds in the near-darkness, sweet and low, and it makes me want to laugh.


This is it, Eri. Are you still with me?


I open my lips, and they’re chapped and dry in the arid winter air of the city. I lick them, and it tastes like salt and blood.

It’s almost ironic, I think.

I tell her the words she expects to hear, knowing that the words mean different things to her than they do to me, but we both need to hear it said.


forevver and alwways


She laughs at the words and the long-standing joke it represents, and we go to start a war.

For a few moments I feel like I’m reeling, stunned by old memories of a bloody war and failed glories and a blue-eyed angel who dragged me to hell.

Fuck. No wonder I’m drinking.

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In short, this is what happens when ArcFour watches Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, Brick, and reads Cities in Dust, and starts getting ideas.

God help us all.

[Tirgo]

wow that nepeta eridan thing was, while expected, hot

never stop

[Kestral]

Hey, so I wrote a story about Gamzee. It seems that everyone has been assuming that Karkat has seen Gamzee during the journey. But what if he hasn't? What if Gamzee has spend a sweep and a half alone? (Yes I know that one sweep doesn't exactly equal 2 years, it equals 2.blah blah blah, but I didn't feel like doing the math.)

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One and a half sweeps, three human years. That’s a long journey, and you’re spending it it in exile. You guess by choice? You never consciously made a decision to avoid them, you just wandered off and haven’t gone back yet. You plan on going back, just not yet, there isn’t any silence yet.
The Voices still demand color, but there’s hardly any left, and killing only makes the Voices louder. You tried to appease the Voices with the colors from cat-sis’s paint set, murals splashed on the walls, but paint doesn’t work.
Why didn’t the paint appease the Voices? All they want is color, blood shouldn’t make a difference. But the Voices whisper that it does, and you don’t have enough for it to work. There’s nothing that you can do unless you go back. But it isn’t time to go back yet, so you wait. You’ve got time, one sweep left.


Grey. Grey walls- grey floors- grey text. Grey text covering your computer screen. The Voices don’t like the grey and you tried to cover it in paint but that didn’t work. The Voices will never stop asking, so you’ve got to rebel. The grey text on your computer screen is your rebellion. You never read it, just stare. Watching new lines appear, one after another. You call it a miracle but then the Miracles want red blood, as bright as candy, dripping down the walls. The Miracles aren’t so wonderful anymore.
Wonderful, wonder-ful, wonder full. You wonder how the others are doing. If Karkat is ok, if Kanaya is still black for you, how Tavbro’s legs are working. No, Tavros is dead, you painted the walls with his blood.
Did you kill him? You don’t remember. You try not to think about killing because it makes the Voices louder and you’re rebelling against them because appeasing them with paint doesn’t work.


One day you realize that you are insane, but that doesn’t change anything.


Three quarters of a sweep left, one and a half human years. The journey is half over. You’ve been keeping track of time, winding your clock, marking the wall every twenty-four hours. You aren’t a hero of time, you aren’t even sure if you’re a hero, but knowing when you are is nice. When you had learned your class but didn’t yet know what it meant you thought you were a Bard because of your sick rhymes and ill beats. Now you know that you are a destroyer, so you can’t explain why you love the tick-tock rhythm of the clock. You guess because it’s consistent, unchanging. The Voices come, the Voices go. They whisper, they scream. The clock keeps ticking.
You are so isolated. Sometimes when you sleep you hope to see someone in a dream bubble, but no one is ever there. Lately you hope that you see no one, and you get that wish. You’re kinda lonely, but that’s cool, you think the isolation’s helping. The Voices are starting to give up. You’re winning without appeasing them with paint -but that doesn’t work- or anyone telling you what needs to be done. Isn’t that what you’re fighting against? Being told what to do. That Voices always are telling you what to do. Has anyone besides the Voices told you what to do?
No! Karkat isn’t a Voice! You haven’t heard his high pitched yell for almost a sweep. You’re being a bad morail.


One quarter of a sweep left, half a human year. On day you woke up in silence. The Voices were gone. You didn’t have to appease them with paint and your rebellion is over. They’re gone, and it is very, very, quiet.
. . .
Are they really gone? You think about your childhood friends for the first time in nights, not a whisper. You think about blood, all the colors mixing together, not a peep. You think about killing Nepeta, the crunch of her skull getting crushed under your clubs, the only sound is your breath and heart beat. Maybe they actually are gone.
It’s so quiet. You reach and grab a horn, then slowly squeeze it. The honk echos in the darkness of the meteor.
hooOOooooOOoooonnnnNNnnk
Sound, outside of your head. That is a real miracle. Not because it is some special or unusual, but because you have gone so long without it.
Now you feel compelled to speak. You open your mouth and realize that you have nothing to say. You pause, think, then try again. Your voice, your voice, cracks. Your cheeks heat up and you snag a water bottle from you sylladex, chug it, and speak:
“we will pilot this meteor as fast as we can make it go in that exact direction.”
You say the last thing you remember hearing. Your voice is flat, you time alone has made it lose all personality; who are you?
You sit down because you realize that you get to decide who you are. Is it possible to go back? To be the person you once were? You liked being in love with the world and how it works without anyone controlling it. You think that you can go back to that.


Twelve nights left, and you know who you are. You are Gamzee motherfucking Makara. Soon you’ll be going back. You’ve got all of your friends packed up in your sylladex, you are confident, but you are a bit lost. It’s all good though, some miracle will come your way. Soon you’ll talk to people instead of the empty rooms.
You think the rooms deserve a good bye. You shout into the darkness:
“My NaMe’S mOtHeRfUcKiN’ gAmZeE
jUsT sO eVeRyOnE kNoWs.
It’S oNlY mE iN mY tHiNk Pan
tHaT’s HoW iT’s s’PoSsEd To GoEs!”
A voice answers, and for a moment you think the Voices have returned, but then you listen to the words.
“the name’s dave strider
i’m the knight of time.
you must have heard of me
i’m the king of sick rhymes.”
He waits for you to respond but all you can manage is “MoThEr FuCkInG mIrAcLeS.”
“sup.”
“I wAs JuSt MaKiN’ mY wAy Up To ThE lAb, BuT gOt MySeLf AlL tUrNeD aRoUnD. tHeN tHe MoThErFuCkInG uNiVeRsE dElIvErS a GuIlD. mIrAcLeS.”
“i’ll add that to my list of titles. dave strider: knight of time, bringer of sicknasty, COOLK1D, and miracle guild to suddenly stoned clowns.”
You wonder what stoned is, but that mystery can wait for another time. “So WiLl YoU sHoW mE tO ThE lAb BrO?”
He winces at the name, “hold your murderous rainbow glitter hoof-beast for a sec. i need to talk to your glorious leader.”
He pokes a small silver and black rectangle a few times, then holds it to his ear. He waits a few seconds, winces, then holds it further away from his ear.
“nice to hear from you too. yes i have a good reason for calling.” He pauses. “i found gamzee. yeah. look, he wants me to lead him to the rest of us. hang on a sec.” He looks at you, “how are you doing?”
“It’S aLl CoOl mY bRoThEr.” You decide not to call him bro this time, he didn’t seem to like it.
“he says it’s all cool. m’k, m’k, ok! look, i’ll put you on speaker phone.”
He taps the rectangle a few more times
“-STUPID NAME! AM I ON YET?”
“WhOa! WhAt’S mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeSt FrIeNd DoInG iN yOuR mIrAcLe BoX?”
“FUCK IT GAMZEE IT IS YOU!”
“there wasn’t any reason to not believe me.”
“SHUT YOUR TRAP, STRIDER. AND GAMZEE, WHAT IN ALL LOVING FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY ‘IT’S ALL COOL?”
"I mEaN i’M aLl Up AnD sAnE aS yOu, BrO.”
“that sure is reassuring.”
“IGNORE THE FLYING DOUGEBAG. WHERE DID YOU FIND THE SOPER?”
“No WaY! i'M nOt On SoPoR! tHaT sHiT rOtS yOuR tHiNk PaN.”
“THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE YOU ARE?”
“ ‘CaUsE a MoThErFuCkEr’S gOtTa StAy TrUe To HiMsElF, dO wHaT fEelS rIgHt. ThIs FeElS rIgHt.”
“AND YOU HAVE NO PLANS ON GOING PSYCHO, BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STOP YOU, I WILL.”
He didn’t say anything about papping. It makes you feel sort of rejected, but then again, you were the one doing the rejecting. You can still make the the miracles blossom again.
“ThE vOiCeS pAcKeD uP aNd MoThErFuCkIn’ LeFt. It’S aLl CoOl.”
"BUT-” He pauses. “YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND. STRIDER, BRING GAMZEE BACK HERE. I’LL YELL AT HIM THEN. I’M DONE TALKING TO YOU. BYE.”
You spent one and a half sweeps alone, trying to create color, then hide from it, then trying to let it come back. Now red is leading you home, and suddenly there is orange and jade and teal.. and grey. You’ll never tell him, but grey is your favorite color. It was your rebellion, it brought the miracles back.

As usual, I would like any and all comments.

[ArcFour]

So! I have returned, with a handful of notes!

1: I have finished my other story! It even has a name; One for the Angels. It's still sort of a first draft, though, so I need to give it a couple days of 'I'm not looking at it a single bit', then read it all through, and fix accordingly. So in a week or so I should be ready to post.

2: UU is the Muse of Space! Now I have to resist the urge to write a bunch of Muses. Maybe I'll just write one before I start the Space classes? I don't want to do the Muse of Space, because we don't know enough about Calliope yet, but maybe other Muses could be interesting. (also it only just now occurred to me that Calliope has 'Cal' in the name, thus connecting her to Lil' Cal. Does this mean that uu/LE is Calmasis?).

3: Ages ago, when I'd just started Heart, I had this idea that the last two Titles I'd write would be the Guardian of Space (actually about First Guardians somehow) and the Lord of Time (Lord English, of course). Except now it's looking like uu/LE might actually have the Lord of Time as his title! Because, come on, an all-male title that is the most active class in the Game? It has to be Lord. Past me totally called it. I make no promises about writing those titles now, though.

4: I'm actually really interested in writing a Muse but I'm coming up strangely blank on the idea. Someone, quick, give me ideas/content so I can steal it. I already figure that Muses are characters who, as the most passive class of all, inspire others to take the actions they cannot, and are somehow further defined by their element. Though the fact that they are the master classes might imply that they can only be of the Time or Space elements? So maybe I could do the Muse of Time. THOUGHTS?

[childishGambino]

Hey, so a bunch of people posted lovely things about my fic before, and I just wanted to say, thank you! I didn't say anything earlier because I didn't want to be a douche and just be like "oh yeah thanks for all the attention, that's literally all the content in this post," so I waited until I finished Chapter 16. It's kind of underwhelming compared to the last chapter, but, well, I'm getting to the good part.

Herding Cats - Chapter 16

Also this is only kind of relevant, but I made a tumblr which is primarily going to be about the fic. There's an ask box there if you want to anonymously ask me embarrassing questions about the fic, or if you want to ask me questions about my Subway sandwich preferences. Spoiler alert: NO PICKLES. JUST JALAPENOS AND BANANA PEPPERS. THE WAY GOD INTENDED.

Land of Lawn Gnomes and Strip Malls - The Tumblr

[Kuyan J]

@ArcFour: well, no idea how to do a Muse of Time, but from your definition of muse some concepts for muses for other aspects seem pretty clear. I'm not sure if they're any good, 'though, and I'm pretty sure they're not enough for a complete story.

Muse of Rage: inspires with rage, getting angry at friends who for some reason weren't doing what they needed to (or perhaps what the Muse only thought they needed to do?) and scares/pressuring them into doing it.

Or inspires rage without having it, being a permanently calm player who makes the other players angry. A few possibilities:

The X is murdering other players, in a way some people in the players' culture would be okay with. The Y is angry, and thinks the X should be killed to stop this, but isn't willing to do that. But the Muse is okay with it. She thinks the X was completely justified in doing what they did. And they try persuade the Y of this, but that only makes the Y more angry. And eventually this interaction motivates the Y to kill the X. Or possibly inspires the Y to trap the X in their house.

A variation on the above: The Muse woke up on Derse early, and ingratiated and befriended the Black Queen. Once she entered, this lead to her initially siding with Derse, and trying to persuade her friends to side with Derse. Meanwhile, on Derse she unintentionally promoted a revolution the other players took advantage of by her encouragement of and blunt support for the Queen's tyranny. Possibly her interactions with the other players end up working similarly.

A third possibility: the Muse allies with the Droll, but is then assassinated by him. She becomes an emotionless ghost, but tells the other players what happened. The other players seek revenge.

***

Muse of Doom might either be doomed in a way which inspires others, or inspire others to go to their dooms.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Herding Cats - Chapter 16

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Congratulations, childishGambino, with this new chapter, you now have the longest fic in the fandom by word count (182 909 vs 177 065)!

[Flairina]

I second this congrats!

In other news, I reposted the humorous and literal songfic I made on DA, since fanfiction.net doesn't allow second person stories. Could someone give me some critique please? http://flairina.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d548n5q

[Varkarrus]

I always imagined the Muse of Rage as making other people angry

because it'd be funny.

[Chirijiradin]

Muse of Rage

The ultimate internet troll

[ArcFour]

@flairina wait a second woah woah woah. FFnet doesn't allow second-person fics? Not that I've ever been interested in posting on the site, but that seems very strange. Why not, I wonder? And are there any other cornball rules of stuff you can't post there?

...for that matter, does AO3 have any cornball rules?

Also the Muse of Rage would not only be the best at making people angry, but she'd never get angry herself. She'd be a Dave-like point of calm in the storm of impotent fury she inspired in all around her with nothing but a few misspelled insults and a smily emoticon. She'd be the ice-cold giver of hard-hitting insults, serving noobs better than the best butlers of Butler Island could ever hope to serve. Youtube comments would fear her attention, and 4chan would name her their queen even as they tried to get her goat(se). And she wouldn't have a single fuck to give. State control, bitches.

Dudes I think I know how to write this class now. Thank you for helping me unleash this monster on the world. Thank you.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@flairina wait a second woah woah woah. FFnet doesn't allow second-person fics? Not that I've ever been interested in posting on the site, but that seems very strange. Why not, I wonder? And are there any other cornball rules of stuff you can't post there?

Nothing in script format, including MSTs. As a result, the original draft of A Hand in Holding Hands is missing its recaps on that site. Instant message logs are also against the rules. If you wanted to be a dick about it, you could take down every Pesterlog fic in the archive, and probably a few that feature pesterlogs as just part of the fic. There is a reason the fanfic community stayed here and AO3 before the Homestuck community exploded in size and it's not the coloured text thing.

[ArcFour]

So FFnet's got a conspiracy against Homestuck then. Okay cool good to know.