MSPA Fanfiction VII: End of Thread 6 Flash

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ Chirijiradin: I'm of the opinion that what would make it most twisted is writing it quite matter-of-factly, while still keeping it verbose and roundabout in Rose's style. Like the narrator (whoever that might be) just does not realize that all the things that are going on are horrific.

Also ironic deaths would be very good, especially if you can concoct characters to kill that are based on either stereotypes or wizards from popular literature (Dumbledore, Gandalf, etc.). That way, readers feel bad about laughing at the deaths. Or twisted readers get enjoyment out of the deaths. The only canon death we know of was rather ironic, too, and I would expect that sort of thing from Rose, anyway. Keep in mind that pretty much anything can be used to kill someone if used correctly.

That said, I've been really hoping someone would do Complacency of the Learned, but I have neither the talent nor the time.

[liefErikson]

Not necessarily imitating Rose's rather verbose style, more like...trying to get the sheer twisted nature of Calmasis down to a T. That, and figuring out slightly ironic, impossibly cruel, and more than a bit warped ways to off the wizards. I know that last one is completely situational, but just some general things to keep in mind would be fantastic.

If you're looking for a larger sample of writing from something that sounds like Rose, I've found that Richard Dawkins more recent works are pretty much indistinguishable from Rose's style, and imitating that really makes Rose so much easier to write for, while also serving as a good way to prevent yourself from flanderizing her.

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The purpose of writing is to communicate. Concise, sophisticated language can facilitate this. Extraordinarily flowery loquaciousness (holy shit I spelled that right my first try) defeats itself in the same way publishing books in a fictitious language only you know would. Rose would likely know all about this, her editor more so.

[Megafire]

I'm so sorry I've been neglecting you guys, seriously, but I just hit a real downwards spiral the last couple of months in trying to write the next Homesick chapter, but after a couple of good days and a healthy dose of Career of his Humour, I am back on track.

Hereby presenting:

Kyrianne: Explore (on AO3, as par for the course).

Introducing Raviolisprite, who might just be my favourite character now.

I'll be working on a new Freedombound chapter after this.

Also, I need to catch up on Wizardstuck and Herding Cats looks really interesting.

I'm going to have a really busy weekend.

[midfieldAttorney]

Is it okay if I post some of my nonsense here? (Nonsense refering to absolutely horrid fanfiction)

[childishGambino]

Just finished chapter 5 of Herding Cats. Once again I changed the speculative title, because there simply wasn't any room for the other violet-blooded character. You wanted interactions with other trolls? TOO BAD. ERIDAN TIME.

Herding Cats - Chapter 5

[draconicAlgorithm]

Now these are exactly the sort of strange pairings I was hoping to see when I started reading Herding Cats! I like the idea of all three speculative Eridan pairings in this chapter. I shall continue to wait impatiently for the next one to see how this is going to work out.

[ghastlyMeme]

I found something... http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2253013/ChateuLosElForests

[mutecebu]

Is it okay if I post some of my nonsense here? (Nonsense refering to absolutely horrid fanfiction)

PLEASE. Our appetite for fiction of dubious plausibility is nigh-on-insatiable. So get shoveling.

[homestuckisthebest]

Okay, i'll admit, my shtuff is turrible, seeing as I posted a wafer thin section of it.

But my Tmblr Homestuck fic is fleshier.
Not complete, but here is the progress.

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Aradia walks into the room, clutching her arm. Nepeta turns to face her.

Nepeta:” Aradia! What happened?”

Aradia turns away.

Aradia:” It’s nothing, really…”

Nepeta walks over to Aradia and puts her hand on Aradia’s face.

Nepeta: ” A black eye is ‘nothing’? Tell me what happened!”

Aradia: ” You don’t understand… If I tell you, he’ll beat me again…”

Nepeta: ” Beat you? But Why would Sollux…”

Aradia: ” Nepeta, it’s best if you stay out of this… for your own good…”

Nepeta: ” But he shouldn’t hit you! What did you do to annoy him?”

Aradia: ” Nothing! I swear…”

Nepeta: ” Aradia…”

Nepeta hugs Aradia.

Nepeta: ” You did nothing, i’m sure. Why do you keep going back to him? You know he’ll just keep hitting you!”

Aradia begins to tear up.

Aradia:” I don’t know! I…I just like the way he is around me, when all of us are together. You don’t see the side of him I see…”

Tears stream down Aradia’s face.

Nepeta: ” You need to stay away from Sollux, Aradia; It’s men like him that make this world a terrible place. You can stay here tonight, I insist.”

Aradia wipes the tears from her face, and hugs Nepeta back.

Aradia: ” Thank you Nepeta. *sniff* I will stay here tonight.”

A knock on the door is heard.

“Hello? Anyone iin there?”

Aradia turns to Nepeta; a look of sheer terror on her face.

Aradia: (whispering) “No! How did he find me here? Oh gog…”

Nepeta looks around the room and notices a latch on the floor.

Nepeta: (whispering)”Quick! Over here!”

Aradia: (whispering)”Wait!”

Aradia grabs Nepeta by the arm and pulls her to under the window, just as Sollux peers in. He looks around the room.

Sollux: “Hmm. Could’ve 2wore Ii heard 2omeone iin here.”

Sollux’s footsteps retreat from the building, and Aradia breathes a heavy sigh of relief.

Aradia: “That was close!”

Nepeta: “That was a smart move. Nice!”

Aradia: “How did he know I was here? I didn’t tell him anything before I ran out…”

Nepeta: ” It’s okay! He’s gone now. I’ll go get you a cup of tea, to calm your nerves.”

Aradia: “I can’t thank you enough Nepeta, I really can’t.”

Aradia hugs Nepeta.

Nepeta: “What are friends for? Just take a seat, i’ll be back soon.”

Another knock on the door is heard after a few minutes.

“Hello? Anybody Here?”

The knock makes Aradia jump, but she goes to the door and opens it.

Aradia looks to the ground as she opens the door.

Aradia: “Please do come in.”

Kanaya sees Aradia’s face and is taken aback.

Kanaya: “Aradia! What Happened To You?”

Kanaya places her hand on Aradia’s face. Nepeta shouts in from the far doorway.

Nepeta: “It was Sollux! He hits Aradia when no one is about! It’s terrible!”

Kanaya: ” I Don’t See Sollux As An Abusive Troll…”

Aradia: “Please, come inside…”

Kanaya takes Aradia under her arm as they walk inside, and Kanaya swings the door shut.

Kanaya: “We Should Get Some Ice For Your Eye. Nepeta?”

Nepeta: “Sure!”

Nepeta pops back into the other room, and comes back out shortly with a small pack of ice, and a tray with a teapot and cups on it.

Nepeta: “I made tea for Aradia to calm her nerves, would you like some too, Kanaya?”

Kanaya: “Yes Please, Nepeta. Thank You.”

[SkaianRedeemer]

So the Image Manip thread was talking about the potential downsides to a hypothetical "Dadsprite", annnd:

There's still the matter of Dad!Queen. *shudder*

The Matter of Dad!Queen

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TG: but the thing that really gets me is why the hecks does all her muffins takes like tobaccco
TT: All of her everything tastes like tobacco.
TT: You just burned out your taste buds on vodka forever ago and don't remember what food tastes like.
TT: Hint: I am 95% sure it does not taste like incinerated plants and tar.
TG: ur funny bucko
TG: do u know y u r funny?
TT: Is it because I'm an AI who's never tasted food?
TG: tits because ur a computer what never tasted food
TG: SIC K BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR--
TG: *takes long smood manly drag from her crockerbrand company branded cigar*
TG: --RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS
TT: Are you going to put on the hat-with-hornholes or does that not fit into your new persona as the Crockerbrand's lushest shill?
TG: no way that's jacro's style
TG: even if she IS a sillly doof who can't see GIANT FLYING BATTERWITCHES FROM SPECE or something
TG: w/e
TG: imma just sit here maxin and relaxin with my makini in one hand nad my cuban in another being the sweetits headonisticks icon in the world
TT: You keep making breast typos. What's the motivation here?
TG: im trying to complete the hedonisticks trifecta
TG: sex, drugs and rock'n'roll
TG: ...wait
TT: I can do that.
TG: okay, i have accountinged for the lot
TG: i am holding my drink, my cigar, my lead zeplin cd, and my copy of sbahj on blu-ray
TG: led zeppelian*
TG: led zepellain*
TG: leg balloon*
TT: But you're still missing the sex appeal. I get it.
TG: right
TG: my sweaticks
TG: *gogdammit
TT: Try lounging about in fishnets
TG: oh yah, i totes got those right in my closet for a speshul okation
TG: (j/k i totalyy do have it in my closest for a pescial ocasion
TT: Should I ask?
TG: i dunno!
TG: sometimes i girl has to be ready to dress up a s lady huge hefner at a moments notice you no?
TT: Not really.
TG: weild my mighty sord 'playboy' and fight rabbies and shit
TG: *rabbids
TT: I think you got your historical wires crossed somewhere in the middle there
TG: where
TG: n/m
TG: i am all swanked out with my sweet loob and sexmy leggings and i am ready for like, W/E
TG: don't have time for any sunglasses histarisy lessons
TT: Nope.
TT: Too boss.
TG: like way too
TT: Needs more of something, though.
TT: What is it...
TT: Could it possibly be...
TT: A pair of shades?
TG: gaps!
TG: mr autorespondler are u trying to invite urself over onto my poor ninocent self?
TG: (wonk wonk)
TT: No, I'm being serious.
TT: I'm running some numbers and, oh, look, nothing's really cool until it's wearing some wicked shades.
TG: u kno glasses, tis is why i liek you
TG: u enable me

Why do all my plot bunnies end up talking about something else entirely?
*bundies *buggies *fuckit

[midfieldAttorney]

PLEASE. Our appetite for fiction of dubious plausibility is nigh-on-insatiable. So get shoveling.

Thanks for being okay with my completely and utterly OCC, poorly written, stupidly over dramatic, overused, drivel. I'm sorry if it's terrible in advance.

Night Owls
Mad Awks Inappropro

If anybody minds critiquing or reviewing, that would make me a rather happy person.

[draconicAlgorithm]

Sup. I have a thing.

Dead Daves

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The blood from the wound in the dead Dave's chest dripped off the edge of the metal ledge and into the lava twenty feet below, each new drop hissing and evaporating before it even had a chance to reach the molten rock. The body itself had been dropped haphazardly and allowed to fall like it was some sort of shitty attempt at playing QWOP, only the loser got stabbed in the chest instead of having his neck broken.

Dave nudged the nearest body part, a hand, with his foot. He always did that, just to be sure. Like every other time before, there was no response. The dude was dead as a doornail. The Universe was a thorough hitman—or maybe that was just Jack. Either way, Dave was still left with the hard part.

He'd found out a long time ago that it was easier if he didn't think of the dead Daves as being himself. There was a stolen comfort in being detached and assured of his own status as Alpha Dave, but deep down, he knew it was getting to him. He always got that shaky feeling, and he would find himself being drawn to the face, the look of agony the other Dave had before he died—and he had to look away.

The worst times were when he had to carry the bodies somewhere to dispose of them. After all, he couldn't just leave them lying around. Not if he knew about them. Someone else might stumble upon them and freak out more than necessary. It was better this way. All he had to do was keep hiding the bodies. Hide the evidence, and there was no problem.

He started to roll the body, maneuvering it towards the ledge. The blood soaked into the green fabric of the dead guy's Felt suit, making Dave think giddily of Christmas. Red and green, yup, this douche would fit right in as a shitty tree ornament.

Blood smeared on his fingers, but he ignored it. He was almost to the edge. Just a little farther and—

"Dave?" The voice was quiet, hesitant, and shaky, but it still made Dave jerk. The final push from his unplanned movement was enough to send the body over the side. It tumbled gracelessly through open air until it fell to the lava far below. Dave couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene as the clothes burned, the skin charred, and the plastic sunglasses melted into black puddles over the body's hidden eyes. Finally, it disappeared beneath the vibrant orange.

Hands grabbed him roughly and dragged him away from the edge, pulling him through the smeared remnants of the pool of blood. They ended up on the ground, with Dave practically sitting on top of the person that had pulled him back. He hardly noticed. That last sight was seared into his retinas. He'd never watched a body burn before. He'd never watched himself burn before.

"Dave? Dave, please, Dave, say something." For a moment, he didn't recognize the voice, but it cut through that horrible image. He clung to the sound, grasped at it until it was all he could think of. Then, finally, it occurred to him to answer.

"'S cool," he said. "I'm fine, Jade. Just a little woozy." He tried to pull out of her embrace, but she was having none of it.

"You are not fine, Dave!" She snapped back. "This is only the first time I've ever been able to see you face to face and I know you're not fine! You're very not fine!"

"Alright, alright, I'm having a goddamn mental breakdown, but would you please quit strangling me?" He said. She was hesitant at first, but, slowly, she released him. Dave pulled away enough that he could sit up on his own and actually turn to look her in the face. She was giving him a fierce glare through those dorky round lenses, even though she was crying and biting her lip in worry. He felt strangely naked under that stare, like his sunglasses had fallen off somehow, but he knew they were still planted firmly on his nose. He had to break eye contact, but when he did, all he noticed was that he'd gotten her blue skirt smeared with blood.

"Dave." Her voice was calmer now, but still shaky. He didn't reply. He just stared at the bloodstains on her clothes.

"Dave, I—I mean, I knew this happened, but I didn't realize—"

"It's nothin'," he cut in, realizing too late that he'd practically dropped into a southern drawl in his haste to end her statement. "I mean, it's no prob. Shit happens. Dead Daves happen. I take care of them." He paused, trying to come up with something better to say. Instead, he just said, "Sorry about your dress."

"Oh, Dave! I don't care about the dress! I could make a million more if I wanted to." Before he realized what she was doing, she had already reached out and grabbed one of his bloody hands in both of hers. He nearly jerked away, but then he made the mistake of looking into her eyes again. She was angry and upset, but mostly she wanted to help him. She wanted to help him through this.

"I want to help you through this," she said.

"Fuck, Jade, I knew what you were going to say before you even said it," he said. And shit, why did he feel like he was about to cry?

"Yeah, well," she started to say, but she stopped. Then, she squeezed his hand a little tighter. "It's okay to cry, Dave. It's okay to cry when you… have to face things you can't handle. It doesn't make you any less cool. I don't think that!" Dave didn't respond. He couldn't. His throat was already getting choked from tears, and it was a fight just to keep the little bitches from escaping down his cheeks. When he didn't say anything, Jade just kept talking.

"When my grandpa died, I… Well, I stuffed him. It was a, a family tradition. It was horrible, and I cried a lot. And I mean, it's not the same thing, but…" Dave couldn't take it any more. He lost it at "grandpa died." Those little fucking tears raced down his face like a pair stallions after a choice mare and god that wasn't even a good metaphor. He turned away, trying to hide them from her, but it was too late. She reached up with a hand that she probably forgot was bloody and turned his gaze back towards her.

"It's okay to cry," she repeated. Before he realized what he was doing, he fell forward into her arms and started to sob on her shoulder. She pulled him into a hug, and for the first in a long time, he let the wall of apathy he'd built around his heart crumble away.

---

"Never speak of this again," Dave said when, an hour later, they'd both managed to calm down. Jade giggled.

"Well, I don't know about that! But I won't tell John or Rose."

"I guess I can deal with that," he replied. For a moment, he closed his eyes. He felt, well, better. It was hard, getting things out in the open, but once he did, it felt less like everything was hanging over his head and threatening to crush him.

"Anyway," he said, "I probably kept you from your own shit for long enough. Aren't you breeding frogs or something?"

"Oh!" Jade said, a hand going to her mouth. "I totally forgot about that! I actually need to go catch frogs now. That's why I, uh, came here." She smiled. "Would you like to help me?"

"If it'll get me away from this place, sure." They had moved away from where Dave had found the body, of course, but he wanted to take a break from lava for a while. Whenever he looked down at it, he had a difficult time not seeing his own face staring up at him with pools of liquid black in place of his eyes.

"Okay!" Jade said excitedly and jumped to her feet. Then, she looked down at her dress with exasperation. The places where blood had soaked in changed the blue skirt to a dried, gross purple. She made a face. "Although, I think I'll change my clothes when we get there."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Dave said as he stood. Jade just grinned back.

"I told you, don't worry about it!" She grabbed his hand in one of hers and tugged. "Now come on, the gate is this way!"

Dave tried not to stare too much at the things around him as Jade pulled him along, but he did pause for just a moment before going through the gate. Something in his gut told him that he wouldn't be seeing this place again for a long, long time. At that moment, though, the thought didn't really bother him.

[Snowyowl]

I like this think that you have written.

*thing.

[childishGambino]

Okay, so I started writing chapter 6, and I'm just posting part of it because it's kind of a weird diversion. Basically, the plan is for it to be three pesterlogs involving different characters, just to allow for a little more characterization. Right now I'm thinking it'll be Aradia and Terezi talking about weird time shit (and Vriska, of course), Vriska and Tavros talking about finding him a matesprit, and... something else. I was gonna make it Nepeta's shipping sweep on Gamzee, but I think I can fit that in the next chapter, and chapter 5 was just a big heaping helping of Nepeta already (and Eridan, of course), so I'm trying to get away from that for a bit. It could be Sollux and Feferi talking about their relationship, but I kind of want to save that for later. I'm thinking I'll make it Kanaya and Equius having an unbelievably awkward conversation about certain Alternian traditions, because I just thought of it and figured it would be completely hilarious, but maybe that's just me.

Anyway, here's the first pesterlog. It contains a lot of presumptions about the mechanics of fictional universes, and a lot of numerals.

Herding Cats - Chapter 6 Part 1

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Chapter 6
The Tapestry's Edge
holy FUCK that is a pretentious way of saying "hey here's some other stuff that's going on"

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].

GC: H3Y
AA: what
GC: OH 1M GR34T 4R4D14, HOW 4R3 YOU
AA: is that all
GC: NO TH4TS NOT 4LL!!!! >:[
GC: 1M TRY1NG TO T4LK TO YOU 4R4D14
AA: 0k
GC: 1T K1ND OF S33M3D L1K3 YOU W3R3 FR34K1NG OUT 1N TH3 M3MO B4CK TH3R3
GC: SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT 4N 1NCONC31V4BLY POW3RFUL 3NT1TY M3DDL1NG W1TH OUR T1M3L1N3
AA: yes
AA: thats still s0mething im d0ing
GC: SOOO
GC: D1D YOU W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T
AA: i d0nt kn0w
AA: will talking ab0ut it help
GC: M4YB3 1T W1LL M4YB3 1T WONT
GC: BUT W1LL NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT 1T H3LP?
AA: n0
GC: TH3N 1 SHOULD TH1NK TH3 4LT3RN4T1V3 1S 4 WHOL3 LOT FUCK1NG B3TTER!
AA: 0k
AA: well
AA: this timeline is d00med
AA: i kn0w i keep saying that but its kind 0f a big deal
AA: im still n0t sure h0w 0r when exactly it diverged fr0m the alpha timeline but it was s0mewhere in the past week
GC: HOW DO YOU KNOW 1TS DOOM3D 1F YOU DONT KNOW WH3N 1T H4PP3N3D?
AA: well
AA: im n0t supp0sed t0 tell y0u this
AA: but a l0t 0f things that arent supp0sed t0 be happening are anyway
AA: s0 screw it
AA: ive been maintaining a private bulletin b0ard t0 serve as an archive 0f inf0rmation useful t0 myself
AA: and by myself i mean every instance 0f myself in this and all 0ther extant timelines
AA: it c0ntains am0ng 0ther things a detailed l0g 0f all the events that transpire in the alpha timeline up t0 several weeks after the defeat 0f the black king
AA: and it states in n0 uncertain terms that any deviati0n fr0m such events indicates 0nes presence in a d00med timeline
GC: W41T
GC: SO YOU 4LR34DY KNOW HOW 3V3RYTH1NG GO3S?
AA: i kn0w h0w everything is supp0sed t0 g0
AA: and h0w it d0es g0 in the alpha timeline
AA: but in this timeline things have deviated significantly
GC: BUT YOU S41D B3FOR3 TH3R3 W4S SOM3TH1NG D1FF3R3NT 4BOUT TH1S T1M3L1N3
GC: 1T W4SNT B31NG D1SPOS3D OF OR SOM3TH1NG
AA: right
AA: parad0x space has mechanisms f0r eliminating any existence that is parad0xical in nature
AA: 0ur universe was created thr0ugh an unspeakably elab0rate series 0f time l00ps and time skips
AA: and 0f c0urse vari0us elements fr0m 0ther d00med timelines and even 0ther universes play vital r0les in this transacti0n
AA: any deviati0n fr0m this tightly scripted sequence 0f events will result in the failure 0f the universe t0 create itself thus making its existence a parad0x
AA: and thus any timeline that strays fr0m the events 0f the s0 called alpha timeline is d00med t0 be sl0wly and inex0rably destr0yed
AA: but even th0ugh this particular iterati0n is undeniably d00med it seems the pr0cess 0f its destructi0n has been p0stp0ned
GC: OK4Y
GC: SO WH4T SHOULD B3 H4PP3N1NG R1GHT NOW?
AA: right n0w this instance 0f 0ur universe sh0uld be sl0wly disintegrating
AA: f0r an instance t0 st0p existing entirely can take several sweeps
AA: but generally pe0ple g0 crazy and start murdering each 0ther f0r n0 apparent reas0n l0ng bef0re then
GC: WHY?
AA: i d0nt kn0w
AA: its a d00m thing i guess
GC: SO TH1S V3RS1ON OF OUR UN1V3RS3 1S DOOM3D
GC: BUT 1TS NOT F4D1NG 4W4Y TH3 W4Y 1T SHOULD B3
AA: essentially yes
GC: TH4T 4LMOST S33MS L1K3 4 GOOD TH1NG
GC: SO 1M 4SSUM1NG 1TS 4 HORR1BL3 TH1NG FOR SOM3 R34SON
AA: kind 0f
AA: the 0nly reas0n i can think 0f f0r the pr0cess t0 st0p is that s0me entity with p0wer 0ver the entr0pic mechanisms of parad0x space is actively h0lding them back
AA: and m0st such entities that i kn0w 0f are incredibly p0werful and unspeakably malev0lent
GC: JUST MOST OF TH3M? >:/
AA: there are 0thers 0f c0urse
AA: and alm0st certainly still m0re that i am unaware 0f
AA: but i assume their g0als w0uld be in direct c0ntradiction t0 th0se 0f the af0rementioned malev0lent 0nes and w0uld likely draw their ire
AA: and thus their preservati0n eff0rts w0uld be equally danger0us t0 us if n0t m0re s0
GC: W3LL
GC: WH4T COULD TH1S 3NT1TY W4NT FROM OUR T1M3L1N3?
AA: i d0nt kn0w
AA: ive tried expl0ring the timeline but with0ut the restricti0ns 0f being the alpha timeline there are an inc0nceivable number 0f branches
AA: s0me 0f them have actually started decaying again
AA: usually because 0ne 0f the players died
AA: but there are c0untless 0thers where all the players are alive and relatively speaking everything is fine but the pr0cess resumes anyway
AA: its kind 0f ann0ying
GC: Y34H, 1T SOUNDS L1K3 1T WOULD B3 >:[
GC: H4V3 YOU TR13D V1S1T1NG 4NY OTH3R T1M3L1N3S?
GC: M4YB3 3V3N TH3 4LPH4?
AA: n0
AA: the rttu suggests leaving a d00med timeline results in an even faster death than usual
AA: usually by expl0ding
GC: RTTU?
AA: s0rry r0ad t0 the und0ing
AA: its the name 0f the b0ard
GC: H4H4H4H4 TH4TS 4 STUP1D N4M3
AA: 0_0
GC: 1T SOUNDS L1K3 4 B4D TH1RD P4RTY FL4RP MODUL3
AA: ha i guess it kind 0f d0es
AA: ribbit
Gc: H3H3H3H3H3 >:D
Gc: 4NYW4Y
Gc: 1F TH1S T1M3L1N3 1S B31NG PROT3CT3D
GC: M4YB3 TH4T PROT3CT1ON WOULD 3XT3ND TO YOU 3V3N 1F YOU L3FT
AA: hm
AA: i didnt think 0f that
AA: but if it d0esnt and i try it ill pr0bably expl0de
AA: 0f c0urse even if i d0 there will still be a timeline where i decided n0t t0 try it s0 it d0esnt really matter
GC: TH4TS 4 PR3TTY C4V4L13R 4TT1TUD3 TO T4K3 ON YOUR OWN D34TH
AA: im a time player
AA: we have t0 be 0k with this kind 0f thing
GC: 1 GU3SS >:|
GC: BUT TH3R3 M1GHT B3 4 R3L14BL3 W4Y OF T3ST1NG 1T R1GHT NOW
AA: h0w
GC: S1MPL3
GC: W3 D3L1B3R4T3LY CR34T3 4 BR4NCH
GC: 1LL FL1P 4 CO1N 4ND T3LL YOU TH3 R3SULT
GC: 1F 1TS H34DS YOU GO TO TH3 4LPH4 T1M3L1N3 4ND H4NG OUT FOR 4 WH1L3
GC: 4ND 1F 1TS SCR4TCH YOU SW34R N3V3R TO TRY TO HOP TO 4NOTH3R T1M3L1N3
GC: TH3N 31TH3R W4Y YOU TR4V3L B4CK TO R1GHT 4FT3R 1 C4LL3D 1T
AA: s0 if i expl0de in the alpha timeline ill have a n0n d00med aradia t0 replace me immediately
AA: and if i c0me back safely there will be tw0 0f me
AA: but 0ne 0f them will be pr0perly d00med and thus alm0st immediately expl0de
AA: and whichever 0ne survives will indicate the pr0per c0urse 0f acti0n
GC: 3X4CTLY! >:]
AA: w0w
AA: maybe y0u sh0uld have been the time player
GC: YOUR3 4 F1N3 T1M3 PL4Y3R
GC: 1 M4Y B3 GOOD 4T TH3 WHOL3 T3MPOR4L LOG1ST1CS TH1NG
GC: BUT YOUR3 4 LOT B3TT3R 4T DY1NG
AA: 0_0
GC: OK4Y TH4T W4S 4 SH1TTY TH1NG TO S4Y
AA: its 0k
GC: NO 1TS NOT 0K!!!
GC: 1 PR3TTY MUCH JUST SH1T 4LL OV3R YOUR F33L1NGS 4ND 1TS NOT COOL
AA: i am a tin can
AA: r0b0ts d0nt have feelings
GC: OK4Y 1M 4LMOST 3NT1R3LY C3RT41N TH4TS S4RC4SM
GC: 4ND TH3R3FOR3 COMPL3T3LY S3LF D3F34T1NG
AA: sarcasm isnt a feeling n00kstain
AA: ribbit
GC: >:O
GC: 4R4D14 YOU 4R3 G3TT1NG DOWNR1GHT S4SSY W1TH M3!!!
AA: s0rry
AA: i d0 have em0ti0ns n0w
AA: m0stly anger
AA: n0 sh0rtage 0f lust either 0_0
AA: but thats ab0ut it as far as i kn0w
GC: >:P
GC: 1 GU3SS 3QU1US R34LLY H4D H1S PR1OR1T13S STR41GHT
AA: ugh yes
GC: "UGH Y3S"
GC: TH4TS PR3TTY MUCH TH3 SUMM4RY OF YOUR R3L4T1ONSH1P 1SNT 1T
GC: D --> 4R4D14 DO3S TH1S ROBOT BODY 100K 4%3PT4BL3 TO YOU
GC: UGH Y3S
GC: D --> 4R4D14 W1LL YOU K1SS M3 NOW
GC: UGH Y3S
GC: D --> 4R4D14 W1LL YOU PL34S3 SL4P M3 4 L1TTL3 H4RD3R
GC: UGH Y3S
AA: 0k
AA: please st0p
GC: H3H3H3H3 F1N3
AA: can we d0 the thing with the c0in n0w
GC: SUR3
GC: 4R3 YOU R34DY FOR TH3 N1GH 1NCOMPR3H3NS1BL3 PROB4B1L1ST1C T1M3 B1FURC4T1ON TH4T 1S 4BOUT TO UNFOLD??
AA: just flip the fucking c0in ne0phyte
GC: ...WH4T?
AA: i d0nt kn0w
AA: im n0t even sure why i said that
AA: in retr0spect its a really stupid thing t0 say
AA: 0_0
AA: but seri0usly flip it
GC: OK4Y
GC: 1TS H34DS
AA: 0k
AA: 0h w0w
GC: WH4T?
AA: just an expl0ding aradiab0t
AA: n0 big deal
AA: ribbit
GC: SO D1D YOU V1S1T TH3 4LPH4 T1M3L1N3?
AA: yes
GC: GR34T!!! >:D
GC: SO NOW YOU KNOW YOU C4N V1S1T OTH3R T1M3L1N3S W1THOUT 3XPLOD1NG!
AA: yes
AA: thats actually
AA: extremely helpful
AA: thank y0u terezi
GC: NO PROBL3M, H3H3
GC: BUT JUST 1N TH3 1NT3R3ST OF FULL D1SCLOSUR3
GC: 1 SHOULD PROB4BLY T3LL YOU
GC: 1 D1DNT 3V3N LOOK 4T TH3 CO1N 4FT3R 1 FL1PP3D 1T
GC: 1 JUST GU3SS3D 1T W4S H34DS
AA: 0f c0urse
AA: n0 d0ubt i was predestined t0 d0 this anyway
AA: even in a d00med timeline we cant escape the icy grip 0f fatalism
AA: but its fun t0 pretend
GC: >:/
GC: TH4T M4K3S M3 F33L 4 LOT L3SS CL3V3R 4LL OF 4 SUDD3N
AA: its 0k
AA: time makes f00ls 0f us all
AA: just be happy y0u didnt expl0de
GC: H4H4 Y34H, 1 GU3SS
AA: s0 i sh0uld pr0bably investigate this s0me m0re
AA: we can talk ab0ut it later
AA: 0r right n0w i guess since i can time travel
GC: 1 TH1NK 1LL T4K3 4 BR34K FROM T4LK1NG 4BOUT DOOM3D T1M3L1N3S 4ND 3XPLOD1NG ROBOTS FOR NOW
AA: fair en0ugh
GC: UNL3SS YOU W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG 3LS3
AA: n0t really
AA: d0 y0u
GC: W3LL...
AA: is it ab0ut vriska
GC: UGH Y3S >:[
GC: 1 DONT TRUST H3R
GC: HOW C4N SOM3BODY CH4NG3 L1K3 TH4T OV3RN1GHT?
AA: shes always been easily influenced
AA: y0u kn0w that m0re than any0ne
GC: W3LL, Y34H
AA: i d0nt think she ever wanted t0 d0 any 0f the bad things she did
AA: she was just manipulated int0 d0ing them by a number 0f malefact0rs
GC: L1K3 WH1T3 T3XT GUY?
AA: am0ng 0thers
AA: but i think he was resp0nsible f0r the m0st pertinent wr0ngd0ings
AA: she w0uldnt have ch0sen t0 d0 what she did t0 y0u 0r me 0r tavr0s with0ut his influence
GC: M4YB3 NOT
GC: BUT TH4T DO3SNT JUST 4BSOLV3 H3R OF 4LL BL4M3!
AA: thats redundant
GC: WH4T
AA: abs0lve means t0 rem0ve all blame
AA: y0u d0nt have t0 say 0f blame afterwards
GC: BL4R WHO C4R3S 4BOUT TH4T!!!
AA: s0 what d0 y0u want
AA: revenge
GC: K1ND OF
GC: SOM3TH1NG MOR3 TH4N "H3Y YOUR3 4 GOOD P3RSON NOW, YOUR3 FR33 TO GO," 1N 4NY C4S3
AA: it pr0bably w0uldnt help
GC: TH4TS 34SY FOR YOU TO S4Y
GC: S1NC3 YOU 4LR34DY GOT YOURS
AA: n0t really
AA: i killed her because i had t0
AA: it was in the script
GC: YOUR3 T3LL1NG M3 YOU D1DNT G3T TH3 L34ST B1T OF S4T1SF4CT1ON OUT OF B34T1NG VR1SK4 N34RLY TO D34TH?
AA: n0
AA: i felt n0thing
AA: well
AA: there was a temp0rary rush in my blue bl00ded heart simply fr0m partaking in vi0lence
AA: but after that there was n0thing
GC: >:/
GC: HOW C4N YOU NOT B3 M4D 4T H3R?
AA: she was just playing her part
AA: like i was playing mine
AA: my death was necessary f0r the alpha timeline t0 pr0ceed
AA: as was hers
GC: 4ND YOUR3 JUST F1N3 W1TH TH4T
AA: im 0k with it
GC: W3LL YOU SHOULDNT B3!!!
GC: W1TH YOUR T1M3 POW3RS YOU C4N S33 TH3 TR1LL1ONS OF W4YS TH1NGS COULD UNFOLD
GC: BUT 1N TH3 3ND TH3R3S ONLY ON3 W4Y YOU C4N DO TH1NGS
GC: NO M4TT3R HOW SH1TTY 4ND 4WFUL 1T 1S
GC: 4ND TH4T SHOULD M4K3 YOU 4NGRY 4S H3LL!
AA: i came t0 peace with it a l0ng time ag0
AA: y0u kind 0f have t0 as a time player
GC: D1D YOU KNOW YOUD B3 TH3 T1M3 PL4Y3R?
AA: yes
AA: the v0ices t0ld me i w0uld die c0untless deaths
AA: but 0nly ever c0me back t0 life 0nce
GC: TH3Y S41D YOUD COM3 B4CK?
AA: yes
AA: but its debatable what they meant
AA: they c0uld have meant my pr0t0typing myself
AA: ribbit
AA: 0r inhabiting this r0b0t
AA: they c0uld mean s0mething else i guess
AA: but i d0nt see any 0ther revival menti0ned in the rttu
GC: HMM
GC: 1 DONT KNOW HOW 3LS3 YOU COULD COM3 B4CK
GC: BUT 1TD B3 COMPL3T3 BULLSH1T 1F VR1SK4 G3TS TO 4ND YOU DONT
AA: im 0k with it
GC: BL4R STOP S4Y1NG TH4T!!!
AA: 0_0
GC: 1TS NOT R1GHT TH4T SH3 G3TS TO L1V3 4ND YOU H4V3 TO ST4Y D34D!
GC: 3SP3C14LLY WH3N SH3S TH3 ON3 WHO K1LL3D YOU!
AA: s0 what
AA: w0uld it be better if she was dead t00
GC: K1ND OF >:/
AA: l00k
AA: terezi
AA: revenge is a l0sers game
AA: the l0ser gets hurt
AA: and the winner gets n0thing
GC: ...
AA: if y0u really want t0 get back at her
AA: maybe y0u sh0uld play an0ther game entirely
GC: >:?
GC: L1K3 WH4T?
AA: i d0nt kn0w
AA: im n0t even sure what that means
AA: it just seemed like a g00d thing t0 say
GC: HRM
GC: W3LL
GC: WH4T3V3R
AA: d0 y0u n0t want t0 talk ab0ut this anym0re
GC: NOT R34LLY
AA: 0k
AA: well
AA: thanks f0r talking t0 me terezi
AA: it was actually really helpful
GC: H3Y, NO PROBL3M >:]
GC: NO OFF3NS3, BUT 1T S33MS L1K3 NOBODY 3LS3 3V3R T4LKS TO YOU
AA: n0 y0ure right
AA: i think m0st pe0ple find me mildly 0ffputting 0_0
GC: W3LL, YOU K1ND OF 4R3
GC: BUT H3Y, 1 4M TOO!
GC: W3 C4N B3 M1LDLY OFFPUTT1NG TOG3TH3R
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 >:D
AA: ha yeah
AA: s0
AA: can we talk m0re later
GC: OF COURS3!
GC: 1 4LW4YS LOOK FORW4RD TO T4ST1NG MOR3 OF YOUR D3L1C1OUSLY R1CH M4ROON T3XT
AA: i th0ught y0u liked bright red better
GC: OH 1 DO, BUT M4ROON 1S GOOD TOO
GC: 1TS SO D33P 4ND D3C4DENT, L1K3 D4RK CHOCOL4T3 OR MOL4SS3S
GC: >:]
AA: ha
AA: i wish i had a smiling em0tic0n i c0uld type
AA: 0u0
AA: n0 that l00ks stupid
GC: H3H3H3 Y34H 1T K1ND OF DO3S
AA: 0h well
AA: well
AA: ill talk t0 y0u later i guess
AA: th0ugh i guess itll be different laters f0r b0th 0f us
GC: H4H4 WH4T3V3R >:P
GC: GOOD LUCK W1TH YOUR 1NV3ST1G4T1ON
AA: thanks
AA: 0k bye
GC: BY3 4R4D14

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC].

[Grand Mal]

The Journal of One Future Pirate Queen, Part 3

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Captain’s log of Karkata Vantas, June the Nineteenth

WELL, WELL, WELL, FISHMAN ISLAND, OR SHOULD I SAY WONDER FUCKING LAND, HAS OPENED ITS RABBIT-SCENTED GATE AND PLUNGED US INTO THE MOST WHIMSICAL DRUNKEN AFTERPARTY YOU CAN IMAGINE. I SWORE TO MYSELF, I VERITABLY FUCKING SWORE THAT IF ANY DAMN COUNTRY GOES INTO SOCIAL UPHEAVAL, ANY DAMN RIVAL PIRATE ATTACKS A DEFENSELESS ISLAND, ANY CHILD EVEN FRICKIN’ *CRIES*, WE WOULD BE ON OUR MERRY WAY. NO BEING HAILED AS HEROES, NO BEING REVIELED AS VILLAINS (IS IT ME OR DOES VRISCHAKA SEEM TO WANT BOTH? FIGURES). IF I HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF AUTHORITY ON THIS CREW, WE’D JUST MOSY ON OUR WAY, BYPASSING ANY OPPORTUNITY TO STAR IN A FUCKING SHONEN STORY ARC, INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, BEING PIRATES. THE NAME HAS DETERIORATED FROM THE POTENT ACID OF ROMANTICISM.

I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR *MY EYES ONLY*, BUT THESE LOGS HAVE A WAY OF FUCKING PICKING THEIR ASSES OFF THE FLOOR AND GETTING OUT INTO THE EYESIGHT OF ANY CASUAL NOCHALANT BYSTANDER, SO I’LL GET TO THE POINT. KANYA AND GAMZY GOT HERE BEFORE US. APPARENTLY, STRAW HAT HADN’T EVEN LEFT FOR THE NEW WORLD YET, AND DECIDED TO SAVE THE FISHFUCKS HIMSELF, SO THERE WAS “CONFUSION” WHEN HE THOUGHT OUR GUYS WERE TRYING TO ABDUCT HIS AQUATIC AQUAINTANCES. BELIEVE ME, IF I WERE THERE, I WOULD STRAIGHTED SHIT OUT. THIS SICKLE IS A RENOWNED MEDIATOR AND DIPLOMAT, CERTIFIED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF SEVERE BLOODTHIRSTINESS, WITH A MAJOR IN DIPLOMACY AND A MINOR IN WOMEN STUDIES (THAT PART COMES IN HANDY TOO. IT’S A GREAT CONVERSATION STARTER WITH THE LADIES).

SO ANYWAY, THE SURROUNDING CHAOS DISTRACTED STRAW HAT BEFORE KANYA COULD EXPLAIN ANYTHING. BY THE TIME SHE MANAGED TO DRAG OUR SHITSTAIN BRAIN MUSICIAN OUT OF THERE, THE HAD LOST THEM, BUT ENDED UP RUNNING INTO PFEFFERI AND ERIDANOS, THE MERMAID AND FISHMAN THAT SPARKED THIS WHOLE CLUSTERFUCK. STRAWHAT HAD DISSAPEARED AGAIN, SO THEY LET OUR CREWMATES HITCH A RIDE BACK HERE.

AND NOW PFEFFERI, IT SEEMS, WAS PART OF THE ROYAL FAMILY.

HAHAHAHA WHAT A COINCIDENCE I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS IN A MILLION YEAERS AHAHAHASHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.

OKAY, SO THE CREW’S GOT THE GLORY BECAUSE OF HER RESCURE, WHOOP-DEE-DOO. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO ESCAPE THE IDOLIZATION WE’RE SUBJECTED TO, LIKE ATHLETES, OR DISTURBING COOLKIDS. WE HAVE TO RE-COAT THE VEIL FAST, AND HIGHTAIL IT TO THE NEW WORLD. I DON’T CARE HOW MANY FRIENDS THIS PRESCHOOL OF A CREW LATCHES ONTO- I WILL LATCH THEM OFF. WAIT, THAT DOESN’T WORK. FUCK.

Journal of Miss Serquet, June twentieth:

Who does she think she is, lording that victory over us???????? I think a good-old-fashioned revenged plan is in order! I really missed those >::::).

Diary of Kanya Maryam, June twentieth:

I Don’t See How Asking Our New Acquaintances To Join This Crew Counts As Revenge

Unless Subjecting Us To The Captain’s Ranting Has Anything To Do With It

Really Vrischaka You Are A Mystery Sometimes

Log of Mr. Vantas, June the twentieth:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUCK.

A letter from Eqius to his butler/manservant/bodyguard, Arthour, June the twenty-third:

Arthour,

How could y00 have let this happen? I gave y00 e%plicit instru%ions on the handling of young Nepeta, instru%ions that y00 have apparently left t00 the wayside, as I have recently discovered my sister’s 100dicrus stowaway scheme. She has been hiding in my vessel for many days now. Why have y00 not informed me she was missing? I will be lenient, as Nepeta has asked me to be, but I await your response raptly.

-Saint Eqius Du Zahhak.

Journal of Miss Serket, June the twenty-fifth:

Well, the New World isn’t off to much of a start…….. Seeing how Vantas got us marooned in the fucking calm 8elt!!!!!!!! Marooooooooned, I say! Some stuffy no8les are targ8ing our ship directly, and drove it against a f8cking wh8rilpool! Isn’t this place supposed to not have currents? And I’m pretty sure the human body isn’t accustomed to an environment with no food, but hey, that’s the Island where we are now in a nutshell, so what a fucking pickle!!!!!!!! Can’t Tavros cook something up out of, I dunno, rocks? And there’s no fish, of course, Sea kings and whatnot. I can see the calm 8elt border just on the horizon there, and the

Ship

Is

Goddamn

Wrecked.

I’m going to kill that Captain, if I can find him. What’s he giving me the cold shoulder for, anyway?

Well You Are The Navigator Vrischaka

And Isnt So Much The Could Shoulder As It Is Barely Suppressed Rage

I Really Think This Shipwreck Was The Last Straw After Recruiting Our New Sniper And Helmswoman

H8w d8d y8u g8t 8n h8re????????

Wh8 d8d I wr8te wh8t y8u s8id?????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????

Log of Mr. Vantas, June the Twenty-Fifth:

HEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHE.

THE SECOND WE, BY A MIRACLE I AM COUNTING ON THOUSANDFOLD, ESCAPE THIS LAND OF CAVES AND SILENCE, I AM TURNING THAT WOMAN IN. SCREW NAKAMA.

So, I'd really appreciate some feedback, C&C, all that good stuff. Let me know if it's Ao3 worthy!

[ArcFour]

So, after a lot of work, some rough planning, and a ton of revision, I now have the first chapter of Scryb!

The other first chapter was actually the Prologue.

And the other other first chapter was actually the first draft of the Prologue, from when I thought this was going to be 1st person.

It'll all be clear I promise.

So, here we go!

SCRYB: Chapter 2

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SCRYB

Chapter One: In which the many gifts of Amphibians are highly appreciated, a Fiery Rock is dodged, three Books are found, and one of them talks back with far too many Shout Poles.

The first lesson he had ever learned was that frogs were special. He still remembers that day with a crystal clarity that most of his younger memories lack. He remembers his Uncle’s big blue eyes, wide open as he told his story, and his big hands spread out as he pantomimed along with his words. He remembers his Uncle telling him of the boy who came from the skies, a gift from the frogs to a man who wanted a child.

Jack had always loved the story; it was so unreal, but seemed so natural at the same time. And so, he always remembered that frogs were special creatures, and always to be regarded with care and respect.

It was that story, that tale of fiery rocks from the sky, and frog’s gifts, that got him into the habit that started the whole sorry affair.

He and his Uncle wandered far and wide throughout his life; his Uncle was a peddler and merchant, who traveled the American plains, and the many towns and cities that wanted his service. His Uncle had no minders, no bosses, no people he owed. He was, more than most, a free man.

But though he nearly always had food, and nearly always had decent clothing, and had more freedom than most children his age, there were times when Jack wanted more that his Uncle couldn’t give him.

So he’d go and ask the frogs.

Frogs were everywhere, if you cared to look. It was just a matter of knowing where to find them, and Jack had mastered that at an early age. He would leap off into the forest, or the river, or the lake, looking for those secret little spots where the frogs sang their song. He would find them, carefully pick one up, and ask it, very nicely, to grant a wish.

The wishes were varied things. Sometimes it was a wish for a food or drink that his Uncle had told him about. Sometimes it was for a special sort of book, because though his Uncle had taught him to read and to write (and Jack was very proud of his letters), he often lacked enough reading material to sate his appetite.

But most often, of all of his wishes, he asked the frogs for a friend.

He loved his Uncle dearly, but wandering was a lonely thing, when you were never anywhere long enough to make a friend. It didn’t help that Jack was, despite everything, sort of an awkward child, quiet and formal with others. He loved many of the things that other young boys loved, especially exploring, but he was naturally shy around others, much to his chagrin.

More than anything, he wanted friends who understood him.

And so it came that eventually, a little before his ninth birthday, the frogs granted his wish.

Though it was not in the way he expected.


***


The day started out wet, and seemed to only get wetter as the morning wore on. The rains had opened up in a drenching torrent of water that turned the roads to mud and slop, and it might as well have been night for how dark it was.

So it was of no surprise that his Uncle had decided to put up camp until the skies cleared up.

While his Uncle put up the horses, and started to prepare the fire, Jack sat in the wagon, on top of one of the many boxes of merchandise that his Uncle had been hired to get to Averton, a few days away.

His Uncle had told him to practice his letters, and for a time, Jack had done just that, but now the idea of writing bored him; he was quite proficient already, and truly, all he wanted to do was to go outside. If only the rain had been a little less severe, he could go and find some frogs.

But in the meantime, he just daydreamed.

He found it easy to do; his was a mind full of places, as his Uncle liked to say. He was a thinker and a dreamer, and that made him happy, because his Uncle was, too.

And right now, he was thinking of a magic city he had seen in his dreams. It was a happy place to think of, he remembered, and the songs there were always beautiful.

His ruminations, his dreaming of this magic city, and his wonderings of what the place would be like if it were real, were interrupted when he noticed that the rain had stopped.

He leapt off of the boxes, dreams forgotten, and clambered out of the wagon to see that the skies had cleared up completely. There was almost no indication that it had been raining at all, except for the immense puddles and lakes of mud that the road had become, and the glisten of water on the trees that sheltered the road. The fire was crackling merrily, and his Uncle was smiling wide at the sky, and the horses stood nickering near the road.

With the skies so beautiful, now, Jack knew his decision was made. “I’m off,” he told his Uncle. “I’ll be back soon!”

His Uncle laughed. “Good lad,” he said, still staring at the sky. “Wasting no time, eh? Just be sure to be back soon.”

“I will, Uncle,” Jack assured him, as he bolted off into the wet, glistening woods, the smell of mud and wet leaves sharp in the air, with only thoughts of frogs on his mind.


***


He found his frog near a bank of a gently flowing brook, croaking merrily in the post-rain moistness. He caught it with ease; he was, after all, a fairly athletic nine-year-old, and the day he couldn’t catch a frog would be the day the world ended.

It was a shiny green frog; not a toad, like most of the ones he caught, but an honest-to-goodness frog, and a pretty one. He sat down next to the river, careful not to let the panicking frog get out of his hands, and brought it close to his face.

“Hello, frog,” he said, and it croaked back at him in response. That was always a good sign. “I’ve decided my wish for today.”

The frog croaked a couple of times, then went silent.

“I wish for friends,” he said softly, being sure to say it quietly, in case anyone else was listening. “Friends who can explore the magic city with me, and help frogs, and maybe have adventures. But mostly, I just want friends.”

The frog croaked three times, and then slipped out of his fingers and into the river.

“Well, drat,” Jack said.

He heard a rumbling above him, and he heard the sound of panicking birds. When he looked up, he saw a fiery ball of light, the size of a pinhead, but quickly getting bigger and bigger.

He realized, after a moment, that is was clearly heading straight towards him.

With a cry, he leapt to his feet and scampered away from the river, dashing into the forest in what he hoped was a direction that would take him away from the fiery ball.

It was a few seconds later that he heard the fiery object crash into the ground, and was knocked off of his feet by the impact.

He skidded a few feet, but quickly got back up, looking around to see where it had landed.

And from the chaos behind him, it looked as if it had landed right by the river.

He ran back, watching carefully for any trees that might have been knocked from their roots by the impact, and surveyed the damage.

The ball of fire had landed right by the river, alright. The crater had diverted the once-pristine brook, and the water was starting to run into the pit of dirt and stone the object had created. The water was pooling at the bottom, and starting to fill up around the strange object in the center.

As it turned out, the falling object was no simple rock.

It was, in fact, the statue of a frog, just slightly taller than him.

The frog stood (or squatted, he idly noted) on a tall pedestal. The frog itself was somewhat bigger than Jack’s head, and had sort of a blankly stern expression on its froggy face. The pedestal was just a column of grey stone, made of the same stuff as the frog itself. It was straight and smooth.

Of the many strange things about the object, the second-strangest was that the statue had somehow managed to land perfectly straight, as if it had always been there, rather than tumbling from the sky in a ball of flame and noise.

The strangest thing was the alcove, set into the column, with three books placed loosely inside, as if it were a bookshelf.

It was with a slight amount of panic that Jack noticed the rising pool of water, caused by the diverted brook, and how the books were soon going to be submerged in water. He scrambled into the crater, and quickly grabbed the three books, and pulled them out. As he climbed out of the crater, he took a cursory glance at the books, noting that they were quite strange.

One was bigger, almost as big as his chest, and quite heavy, as if it were made of wood instead of simple paper. Another was much smaller, with purple writing that he didn’t have the time to read, yet. And the last was a blank, white book, with no name inscribed on its surface.

He frowned, as he gazed upon the three strange books, and decided that, perhaps, it was a good time to head home.

His Uncle would want to see these.


***


It was sometime later that he got home; the sun had reached the height of the sky, and was just beginning its descent. Jack had intended to be home much, much sooner, but the weight and bulk of the books was quite an obstacle to his progress.

But he did get to the wagon, and he dashed straight towards his Uncle as soon as he got there. His Uncle was leaning against the wagon, munching idly on something as he watched his nephew dash across the road.

Uncle’s eyes narrowed as he saw what Jack was carrying, though. Jack, still gasping from the trek, related his fantastic tale, of falling rocks and the strange statue, and while he did, his Uncle grabbed the books, and examined them closely.

When Jack finish, his Uncle squatted low, and carefully handed him the books, and looked him in the eye. “I want you to listen,” he said, slowly and clearly. “I want you to take these, and use them as they are meant to be used, and to keep them safe from harm, do you understand?”

Jack nodded earnestly, as he carefully took the books.

His Uncle nodded. “Good,” he said, still looking intently at Jack. “Very good. These are important things, Jack. Very important. I trust you to care for them.”

Jack nodded, much slower this time. This was a big responsibility, and a big opportunity to show that he was mature. He relished these opportunities, and he wouldn’t waste it.

“Very good,” his Uncle said once more, as he stood. “Now go, and give them a look through. I suspect you’ll find them quite interesting.”

And with one final nod, Jack carefully climbed into the wagon, books balanced on his arm as he swung himself up and into the cloth-covered back.

And his Uncle looked up at the sky once more, but this time he frowned, deep in thought, as he pondered the boy he had taken as his own. He marveled about the specialness of frogs, and the gifts they bring.

He wondered how long it would be, before it all began.


***


Jack settled himself on top of one of the boxes, and placed the three books in front of him, and gave them a much closer examination.

The leftmost book (which he labeled in his own mind ‘the First Book’) was almost normal looking. It was small, and dark, with its title written in purple ink. The title was his first clue that the book wasn’t normal; the Endless gratification of Discovery, and the rewards it brings.

He was almost positive that the title broke some rules about capitalization, but he was willing to admit that he had not yet learned all there was to learn about grammar, so perhaps it was a new rule he had yet to be taught.

He opened the book, not truly knowing what to expect, but surely expecting something. So he was quite surprised when he found nothing, instead. It was just a bunch of blank pages.

He flipped the pages back and forth for a moment, frowning deeply. Apparently the book was just a strangely named journal.

He set it aside, and picked up the strangest of the books (the one he decided to call ‘the Second Book’). It was big; much bigger than books usually were, and quite heavy. It had a hard, black cover, and its title was written in big, white, blocky letters.

SCRYB.

He felt a little chill at reading the word, and then frowned again. He was almost positive it should have been spelled ‘SCRIBE’.

Perhaps frogs were simply no good at grammar? It wouldn’t surprise him; how often did frogs write books, anyway?

He opened the book, and noted that there were very few pages in the massive tome; instead, each page was very thick, and didn’t bend, as if it were made of stone or wood, though it felt like neither. The pages clunked as they were turned, and he noted, once more, that the book was very blank.

He examined each of the few pages very closely, and found that he was just slightly wrong. There was, in fact, one small sentence, in the upper corner of the very first page, so small that he nearly missed it.

Are you afraid?

He certainly wasn’t. Disgruntled, perhaps, at the lack of actual words these books contained so far, and a little bit intrigued by the strangeness of the whole thing, but not afraid. With a sigh, he put aside the tome, and looked at the third book (or, the Third Book, as he unsurprisingly labeled it).

This book was as white as snow, and without a title. It was medium sized, and medium weight, and seemed basically like a completely normal book, and despite it all he found he had a strange aversion to it.

He had a feeling about what he’d find inside of it, too.

He was right.

This book, too, was completely blank, and with that discovery, Jack was thrown head-first past the realm of ‘Disgruntled’ and into the murky, turbulent depths of ‘Quite Seriously Annoyed’.

He put aside the Third Book, stacking it onto the Second, and picked up the First, hoping that maybe the later pages had something that the earlier pages did not.

It quite surprised him to find that, right there on the first page, where new words where he was quite positive there were none before, some of them written in bright blue ink.

DaylightNocturne has written a message!

DN: Hello!

And with the sight of those words, Jack went through the barest moment of confusion, and panic, before a strange sort of calm settled over him, as he finally realized that this was what he was hoping to find.

It was almost as if he had been waiting for it.

DN: Don’t be shy!
DN: Just pick up your quill, and write on the book!
DN: Don’t bother with ink, the book takes care of that.

He looked beside him, where the case that had his quill was, and wondered how, exactly, the book had known that. It didn’t have eyes, after all. But he opened the case, and got his quill, and tried to think of what to write. He eventually decided that the truth would be a good way to start.

He scribbled on the book, feeling a little foolish at not using ink. Of course, no words appeared as he wrote them, but he finished the sentence anyway, feeling more than a little silly.

But then, words did begin to appear, with a strange sort of scratching sound, in purple ink. They were not quite where he had written them, and not in his own hand, but they were his words.

Well, some of them were.

EndlessDiscovery has written a message!
ED: This is quite strange.

He was almost positive that he had only written the last four words, but decided to perhaps not question the magic book.

DN: Don’t worry! You’ll get used to it.
ED: I highly doubt that.
DN: Trust me, give it a few days and you’ll be an old hand at this!
ED: That thought is not quite as comforting as I think you meant it to be.
DN: Oh, please. You just picked up a bunch of books from a frog statue that fell from the heavens in a ball of fire.
DN: Is it so hard to imagine that the books might be…
DN: MAGIC?
ED: Well…

She had a point.

ED: Okay then, you have a point.
DN: Hee hee! I told you!
ED: I don’t know which surprises me more.
ED: The fact that you’re a magic talking book, or the fact that you’re much more chipper than I imagined a magic talking book would be.
DN: Why, dear sir, I am insulted!
DN: I am no mere talking book!
DN: I am a girl!
DN: And you are Jack!
DN: A boy who is far less surprised by this turn of events than you are letting on, I suspect.

Well, she did have the right of it. This felt quite natural, in a very strange way. He started writing on the next page, noting that the first page was quite full.

ED: Well, I suppose you’re right.
ED: Though I’m curious as to how you knew my name.
DN: Because that’s my job!
DN: I’m Mary, and I’m the one who sets these things in motion!
DN: And you’re Jack, the one who does things!
DN: And we are going to do wonderful things together, just you wait and see!
ED: Things?
DN: Wonderful things!
DN: But that kind of talk is for later, after I’ve introduced everybody to everybody!
ED: Wait…
ED: There are more of us?
DN: Of course! Really, you think that only two people are going to find magic books in a falling frog statue? Come now, you should know better!
DN: But they haven’t looked at their books yet; you and I were the first!
DN: But they will, very soon. In fact, I need to go talk to the next one, right now! I’ll be sure to give her your name, so she can contact you.

And with a slight moment of panic, Jack realized something quite dire.

ED: Mary, wait
ED: I don’t know how these journals work
ED: How will I contact you again?
DN: Oh, that’s easy!
DN: Just write the name of the book you want to contact at the top of the page!
DN: My book’s name, for instance, is DaylightNocturne!
DN: Well, actually…
DN: It’s the Daylight lament of those who live in the Nocturne realm, but that name is silly and long and entirely unnecessary to the process!
DN: Just use the important parts!
DN: Goodbye, Jack.
DN: And don’t worry. You’ll get to talk to your new friends soon!

DaylightNocturne has closed her book!

And with that, she was gone.

And, as his mind reeled from the whole experience, he had a grand revelation.

The frogs had granted his wish, after all.

[KarneWarrior]

Stowaway

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It's been almost four sweeps since I last had a home. It's been a whole sweep since I last saw my home planet.

Maybe we should get some facts out into the open. I am, without a doubt, one of the last trolls left alive. I am the thirteenth, the final, the omega of my race. I shouldn't even exist. I break the pattern. I'm a wanderer, a stowaway, a hateful peice of slime that the empire thought beneath culling. Without a home, they figured, I'd just die out.

I didn't.

My name is Quetzalcoatl. I don't have a last name. I never got the chance to pick one. You see, I should never have been born. My heart should have stopped in the egg, before I scrabbled out into the world. My feeble mass of useless muscle should have given out. But it didn't, and now I have to live with it. I'm a mutant, but not all mutations are visable. Some are picked up on the genescan.

I've lived these years because I've been psychically pumping my own heart every day of every minute. And I just have to hope that if it fails while I sleep it'll wake me up. I've never been full of hope.

That's me. That's Quetzalcoatl the Great. The unyielding. Quetzalcoatl, the troll who shouldn't exist.

*--------*--------*--------*--------*

"DID SOMEONE EAT MY GROSHO NUTS?" Karkat growled. He glanced at the others, who did their best to look innocent. "WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS ATE MY NUTS?" There were stifled giggles.

Grumbling, he pulled out a new bag. "WE ONLY HAVE SO MANY OF THESE. WE'RE RUNNING LOW ON GRIST AND THESE ARE EXPENSIVE."

"How did you guys get the alchemizer on this rock anyway?" Asked Rose, twirling a spoon in a plastic cup of frozen yogurt.

"SHENANIGANS." Karkat tore open the bag and shoved a handful of nuts in his mouth. They looked like salted almonds, but the salt grew on them and the nut didn't taste anything like salted almonds. The only human to try them was John and he had to throw up afterwards. He had hated ketchup every day since.

"Well, obviously." said Dave, reclining in his chair. "That's the modus operandi for anyone playing Sburb, aint it?"

Karkat was about to respond when Rose shushed him. She held up a finger to mantain the silence. "Did you hear that?"

"Naw."

"NOPE."

"There was a bump."

"YOU DO REALIZE THERE ARE SEVERAL OTHER PEOPLE HERE, RIGHT?"

"Yeah, it was probably someone hitting their head in their bedroom or something."

"It came from below." Rose said. Dave and Karkat exchanged looks. The cafeteria was on the second-bottom-most section of the meteor, and completely uninhabited by anyone. It was all matinence tunnels and eerie, broken pipes, that would be hissing steam if the hot water still worked. As it was, some sort of strange fungus grew down there that made trolls very itchy and made humans very... lightheaded. A sort of contact high. Nobody had been down there for almost a year.

"IT WAS NOTHING. MAYBE A SQUEAKBEAST HITCHED A RIDE."

"Yeah," said Dave with a almost-but-not-quite grin, "Maybe we got a stowaway."

Rose looked pensive. "Maybe..."

*--------*--------*--------*--------*

I had to do something. Life gets boring, even when you're struggling every day just to have a pulse. So I did some gymnastics on the pipes down here. Nobody would notice, and I would get some valuable balance and speed, perfect for making a getaway and keeping silent.

Only, the pipe didn't hold my wieght like I thought it would. Luckily, there was no squeal of metal, just a falling hunk of corroded iron, or whatever the hell it was. It's too light to be iron, but steel doesn't rust this quickly. The place looked designed to be weathered and decrepit.

I had to jump down to the floor before it got there. I managed it easily, but my feet hit the floor with a thick FLUMP, despite the ragged padding. I cursed under my breath and hoped the mold would keep them away from my hideout. I stretched and caught the pipe as if fell, staggering under the weird size and weight of it. It was about as dense as styrofoam, but the sheer size made it hard to hold.

I laid it down as gently as I could. I couldn't afford to let them find out about me. I had no clue what they'd do to me but I'd bet it wouldn't be pleasurable. The good news was my heart was beating fine on its own for once and I didn't have to keep concentrating on it all the time. The bad news was that I was found out.

Or I would be if I didn't pick up my stuff. It wasn't much, but I also had to dust up all the pipes and such, which is a chore. I'm probably the only person in the world who gathers dust like it's some sort of particulated gold. A soft sprinkle was all I could do before I heard footsteps. I rushed out of sight and hid for my life, as far away as I could get.

*--------*--------*--------*--------*

Rose noticed how the dust settled. It was lighter in spots, heavier in others.

And in one place, exactly the shape of a hand, Not there. A slipup?

"A stowaway." She whispered to herself, grinning. This was exactly what this place needed; a bit of excitement. A bit of drama.

A stowaway.

[Author]

Christ I decide to come back at the best times

Karne I keep pressing expand but more words are not appearing! This must be rectified immediately.

Fuck I always waste my triple digit posts on irrelevant bullshit ><

[Dmatix]

Alright, now that the universe is finally finished conspiring against me, chapter six of Last Journey of the Knight of Sands is here:

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http://mspaforums.com/showthread.php...night-of-Sands

[childishGambino]

Okay, so I decided that my idea for chapter 6 would be better for chapter 7, so we're jumping straight into feelings jam territory. I wrote the first part, the shipping sweep with Gamzee, and writing him is REALLY HARD for some reason. Maybe because his characterization in the comic is practically nonexistent. Or maybe because I'm a shitty writer. Anyway, does this look okay?

Herding Cats - Real Actual Chapter 6 Part 1

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Chapter 6
haven't decided yet shut up

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC].

AC: :33 < *ac furry sneakily and silently cr33ps through tcs hive*
AC: :33 < *s33ing her oppurrtunity to strike, she crouches down in purrepurration...*
AC: :33 < *and jumps into tcs horn pile!!*
AC: :33 < *little horns go flying efurrywhere in a deafening chorus of honks and squeaks!!*
TC: WhOoOaAa, SiStEr, YoU aLl Up AnD sCaReD tHe MoThErFuCkIn TiTs OfF oF mE wItH tHaT mAsTeRfUlLy MoThErFuCkIn ExEcUtEd HoNk JuMp!
TC: NoW aLl My ImAgInArY hOrNs ArE iN mOtHeRfUcKiN dIsArRaY.
AC: :33 < h33 h33!
AC: :33 < hi gamz33!
TC: WeLl ShIiIiT, wHaT's AlL tHe MoThErFuCkIn SiTuAtIoN tHaT wOuLd BrInG mY mAiN mOtHeRfUcKiN cAt GiRl To Up AnD cHaT oN mE lIkE tHiS?
AC: :33 < well, actually, this is a shipping sw33p!
TC: Oh, OkAy, A sHiPpInG sWeEp.
TC: WhAt'S mOtHeRfUcKiN sHiPpInG sWeEp AgAiN?
AC: :33 < well, i just wanted to talk to you apawt relationships!
AC: :33 < maybe s33 if we can find you a matespurrit and a meowrail!
AC: :33 < have you b33n reading my memos?
TC: YeAh, I kInDa ReMeMbEr SkImMiN aLl ThOsE mOtHeRfUcKeRs OnCe Or TwIcE
TC: BuT iTs AlL kInD oF a MoThErFuCkIn HaZe.
TC: ThOuGhT i SaW sOmE sHiT aBoUt TaVbRo BeIn AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN fRiEnDlY oN vRiSkA oF aLl ThE pEoPlE.
TC: So I'm NoT rEaLlY mOtHeRfUcKiN sUrE hOw MuCh Of ThAt I jUsT uP aNd MoThErFuCkIn ImAgInEd.
AC: :33 < no, that actually catpunned!
TC: WhOa, ReAlLy?
AC: :33 < yeah! theyre meowrails now!
AC: :33 < and i think theyre really happy together!
TC: WeLl ShIiIiT, tHaT's MoThErFuCkIn AwEsOmE, sIsTeR!
TC: HaHaHa, TaVbRo AlL uP aNd TaMeD tHe MoThErFuCkIn SpIdEr!
TC: FuUuCk, I'm FeElIn As I sHoUlD cOmPoSe A rAp On ThEiR mOtHeRfUcKiN hOnOr Or SoMeThIn.
AC: :33 < h33 h33! it is puretty pawesome
AC: :33 < so, can we talk apawt shipping now?
TC: WeLl If YoUr HeArT's AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN sEt In It, I gUeSs I cOuLd ObLiGe On ThAt ShIt.
TC: NeVeR wAnTeD tO bE a MoThErFuCkEr WhO wOuLd Up AnD nOt TaKe SoMe AdViCe FrOm HiS mOtHeRfUcKiN fRiEnDs.
AC: :33 < okay, great!
AC: :33 < well, normally i start with the flushed quadrant
AC: :33 < but pawnestly
AC: :33 < and dont take this the wrong way
AC: :33 < but i dont really have any idea who could be your matespurrit!
TC: NaH, sIsTeR, i GeT wHeRe YoU'rE mOtHeRfUcKiN cOmIn OuT oF.
TC: CaN't Be AlL tHaT mAnY mOtHeRfUcKeRs GeTtIn ThEiR fLuSh OuT oN a MiRtHfUl MoThErFuCkEr LiKe Me.
TC: EvErYbOdY's AlL gOt ThEiR oWn ReLaTiOnShIpS aNd ShIt To AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN wOrRy ArOuNd.
TC: MeAnWhIlE i'M jUsT gEtTiN mY mOtHeRfUcKiN cHiLl Up HeRe OuT oF mY mOtHeRfUcKiN hIvE, sIpPiN fAyGo AnD mAkIn A fEw PiEs.
AC: :33 < well...
AC: :33 < we have to think of something!
AC: :33 < efurrypawdy n33ds a matespurrit, even you!
TC: WeLl, If ThAt'S wHaT yOu'Re AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN fEeLiNg, I gUeSs I cAn'T bE tHe GuY wHo AlL uP aNd DiSaGrEeS aT yOu.
TC: BuT i'M mOtHeRfUcKiN cHiLl Up On It OnE wAy Or AnOtHeR.
AC: :33 < well, lets think apawt it
AC: :33 < maybe i can think of somepawdy fur you!
TC: ShIt, i GuEsS.
AC: :33 < hmmmm...
AC: :33 < i purrobably shouldnt be suggesting this
AC: :33 < but what apawt equius?
TC: Aw MaN, eQuIuS iS dEfInItElY a ChOiCe BrO.
TC: We ShOoT tHe ShIt AlL tHe MoThErFuCkIn TiMe, SiStEr.
TC: He'S aLwAyS cOmIn At Me On HiS fEeLiNgS aNd ShIt, TrYiN tO mAkE sEnSe AbOuT tHe HeMoSpEcTrUm AnD aLl ThAt NoIsE.
TC: I dOn'T kNoW iF i WaNt To Be KiSsIn AfTeR tHe DuDe, ThOuGh.
TC: I'd JuSt Be Up FoR hAvIn A nIcE mOtHeRfUcKiN sIt DoWn AnD jAmMiN a BiT wItH hIs FeElInGs AnD sHiT.
AC: :33 < >://
TC: ShIiIiT, wHaT's GoT yOu AlL mAkIn A mOtHeRfUcKiN fAcE lIkE tHaT?
AC: :33 < it sounds more like you want to be his meowrail than anything
TC: DoEs It? FuCk, I dOn'T kNoW, mAyBe ThAt'S iT.
AC: :33 < gamz33, i am his meowrail!
AC: :33 < so i really dont apurreciate you saying that!
TC: AwWwWw ShIt, ThAt ToTaLlY uP aNd SlIpPeD mY mOtHeRfUcKiN mInD!
TC: I'm NoT tRyIn To StEaL hIm AwAy ArOuNd YoU oR aNy ShIt LiKe ThAt.
TC: FuUuCk, LoOk At ThIs GuY aLl Up AnD bEiN a MoThErFuCkIn ToOl.
AC: :33 < look, just furget i brought this up, okay?
AC: :33 < i dont even like the idea of you and equius being matespurrits
AC: :33 < he doesnt even like you, except fur cr33py weird reasons
AC: :33 < i only brought it up beclaws i couldnt think of anything else
TC: Oh.
TC: WeLl MoThEr FuCk.
TC: :o(
AC: :33 < its okay! ill think of something else
AC: :33 < maybe
AC: :33 < god, this is really hard!
AC: :33 < well, lets s33...
AC: :33 < alright, you brought terezi into the game, right?
TC: ShIt YeAh I dId, SiStEr!
TC: HoNk.
AC: :33 < so you purrobably interacted a lot with her
AC: :33 < what apawt her as your matespurrit?
TC: WeLl ShIt, TeReZi'S oNe CoOl LaDy AnD aLl.
TC: BuT fRaNkLy, ShE kInD oF mOtHeRfUcKiN sCaReS mE.
TC: ShE's AlWaYs HaNgIn ShIt ThRoUgH tReEs AnD tAlKiN lIkE jUsTiCe AnD aLl ThAt NoIsE.
TC: AnD i AiN't NeVeR bEeN a MoThErFuCkEr To JuDgE aNoThEr BrOtHeR eVeN wHaT iS a PrOpEr MoThErFuCkEr.
TC: So I gUeSs ThAt'S kInD oF aLl WhAt A tUrN oFf Is.
AC: :33 < yeah, it was a bit of a stretch
AC: :33 < i dont think she really likes you like that either
AC: :33 < or even at all, really
TC: YeAh, ShE kInD oF gAvE uP a MoThErFuCkIn ViBe UnDeR sOmE eFfEcT lIkE tHaT.
AC: :33 < okay, so not terezi
AC: :33 < sooo
AC: :33 < your serfur player was tavros, right?
AC: :33 < what do you think of him?
TC: UhH...
TC: WeLl, ShIt, I mEaN...
TC: TaVrOs Is DeFiNiTeLy A cHoIcE bRo.
TC: NaH, wAiT, tHaT's VaStLy MoThErFuCkIn UnDeRsTaTiNg JuSt HoW pArTiCuLaRlY bRoTaCuLaR hE iS.
TC: It'D bE mOrE aCcUrAtE tO uP aNd SaY hE's A gIaNt MoThErFuCkIn RiB oF pRiMe, GrAdE-a BrO.
TC: AlL gRiLlEd Up To SmOkY bRoWn MoThErFuCkIn PeRfEcTiOn AnD dRiPpInG wItH dElIcIoUs MoThErFuCkIn BrO jUiCeS.
AC: :33 < wow, this is making me hungry all of a sudden
TC: ShIiIt, I gUeSs ThAt MeTaPhOr AlL uP aNd GoT aWaY fRoM mE lIkE aN iMp WiTh OnE oF mY mOtHeRfUcKiN pIeS.
TC: BuT yEaH, i'M sAyIn, TaVbRo'S dEfInItElY a CoOl MoThErFuCkIn DuDe.
TC: AnD, uH...
TC: FuCk, I mEaN, i GuEsS iT'd Be PrEtTy MoThErFuCkIn NiCe BeIn MaTeSpRiTs To HiM.
TC: WeLl, ShIt, It'D bE mOrE tHaN nIcE, iT'd Be A sTrAiGhT uP mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLe Is AlL wHaT iT wOuLd FuCkIn Be.
AC: :33 < :oo
AC: :33 < gamz33, are you...
AC: :33 < are you flushed fur tavros?
TC: Uh...
AC: :33 < its okay! you can tell me!
AC: :33 < i wont tell anypawdy, i swear!
TC: WeLl, FuCk, OkAy.
TC: YeAh, I'm PrEtTy MuCh StRaIgHt Up FlUsHeD tHe FuCk OuT oN tAvBrO.
TC: As DeEp In ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN rEd As AnY mOtHeRfUcKeR cAn Be To AnY oThEr MoThErFuCkEr.
TC: ShIt'S bEeN bUrNiN a WiCkEd HoLe ThRoUgH mY mOtHeRfUcKiN hEaRt FoR a WhIlE nOw AnD iT fEeLs RiGhTeOuS aS sHiT tO cOnFiDe At AnOtHeR mOtHeRfUcKeR aBoUt It.
AC: :33 < wow, that is so great!!
AC: :33 < i couldnt think of a matespurrit fur tavros, either
AC: :33 < but now that i think apawt it, you two would be pawesome fur each other!
TC: ShIiIt, ThAt'S rEaL nIcE oN yOu To SaY aNd AlL.
TC: BuT i ThInK i MiGhT hAvE fUcKeD tHaT sHiT uP aS hIgH aS aNy PaRtIcUlAr PiEcE oF sHiT cAn Be FuCkEd.
AC: :33 < why? what catpunned?
TC: WeLl, BeFoRe We Up AnD gOt Me OnTo ThE gAmE, i KiNdA...
TC: I aSkEd HiM iF wE cOuLd MaYbE aLl GeT sOmE sLoPpY mAkEoUtS oN.
TC: AnD sEeInG lIkE wE hAvEn'T bArElY eVeN mOtHeRfUcKiN sPoKeN sInCe ThAt CrItIcAl PoInT, i'D sAy ThAt PaRtIcUlAr StRaTeGy WaS a DrAsTiC mOtHeRfUcKiN fAiLuRe.
TC: I'm AfRaId I jUsT uP aNd ScArEd ThAt BrOtHeR aWaY fOrEvEr By BeIn AlL sO mOtHeRfUcKiN fOrWaRd As ThAt.
TC: HoNk :o(
AC: :33 < well...
AC: :33 < you kind of put him on the spawt, right?
TC: ShIt YeAh, SiStEr.
TC: I jUsT tOoK tHe MoThErFuCkIn SpOt AnD aLl SlAmMeD tHaT bRoThEr RiGhT dOwN tHe CeNtEr LiKe A sKeE bAlL tAbLe At A dArK mOtHeRfUcKiN cArNiVaL.
TC: GoT fIfTy MoThErFuCkIn TiCkEtS aNd ExChAnGeD eM fOr A bIg StUfFeD cHoLeRbEaR wItH "bRoThEr, YoU'rE bEiN wAy ToO mOtHeRfUcKiN uPfRoNt" EmBrOiDeReD oVeR iT.
AC: :33 < well, he was purrobably just nervous!
AC: :33 < i mean, until recently, he hasnt b33n furry good at dealing with sudden surpurrises like that
AC: :33 < and maybe he just hasnt talked to you beclaws hes afurraid he hurt your f33lings!
TC: WeLl FuCk, I gUeSs ThAt'S a PoSsIbIlItY aNd AlL.
TC: BuT sHiT, iF i CoUlD hAvE tHe MiRtHfUl MeSsIaHs GrAnT mE oNe MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClE, iT'd Be To NeVeR uP aNd DoNe ThAt ShIt WiThIn ThAt PaRtIcUlAr MoThErFuCkIn MaNnEr.
AC: :33 < well, i still think it would work!
AC: :33 < in fact, im updating my wall right meow
AC: :33 < im circling you and tavros a bunch of times and writing "oh yesssss!" under it with a little heart in furont of it
AC: :33 < do you want me to help you win him ofur?
AC: :33 < we could set up a big devious plan and efurrything!
TC: FuUuUcK, sIsTeR, tHaT's AwFuL mOtHeRfUcKiN rIgHtEoUs On YoU tO oFfEr AnD aLl.
TC: EsPeCiAlLy SeEiN aS wE'rE pRaCtIcAlLy MoThErFuCkIn StRaNgErS.
TC: BuT i'M aLl ThInKiN iT'd Be BeSt To JuSt Up AnD lEt ThAt ShIt SiT uNdEr ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN bAcKbUrNeR fOr A wHiLe.
TC: MaYbE wE'lL aLl GeT a MiRaClE dOwN oN tHiS sHiT aNd It'Ll AlL aNd JuSt WoRk ItSeLf ThE mOtHeRfUcK oUt.
AC: :33 < well, if you say so
AC: :33 < wow, this shipping sw33p has b33n a lot more purrductive than i thought it would be!
AC: :33 < i didnt think pinning down your matespurrit would be that easy!
TC: HaHaHa, YeAh, I gUeSs ThE fUcK nOt.
TC: It'S lIkE a LiTtLe MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClE hApPeNeD jUsT oN yOu.
AC: :33 < h33 h33, i guess so!
AC: :33 < anyway, lets talk apawt your pale quadrant
AC: :33 < any ideas?
TC: WeLl, ShIt, ThErE's A mOtHeRfUcKeR oR tWo I wOuLdN't MiNd BeIn MoThErFuCkIn PaLeBrOs To.
TC: KaRkAt'S aLwAyS sEeMeD lIkE a MoThErFuCkEr WhO cOuLd UsE sOmE hElP gEtTiN hIs MoThErFuCkIn SeTtLe DoWn On.
AC: :33 < really? karkitty?
TC: YeAh, SiStEr.
TC: I kNoW hE's AlWaYs MoThErFuCkIn GeTtIn AlL mAd AnD sHiT tOwArDs Me AnD pRoBaBlY dOeSn'T gIvE hAlF a ShIt AbOuT mE rIgHt ThE fUcK nOw.
TC: BuT i AlWaYs FeLt LiKe It WaS fOrEtOlD oN tHe MoThErFuCkIn StArS oR sOmE sHiT tHaT wE'd EnD uP bEiN mOiRaIlS.
AC: :33 < seriously?
TC: FuCk, I dOn'T kNoW.
TC: ThAt CoUlD aLl JuSt Be My HeArT uP aNd TeLlIn Me FaKe ShIt.
TC: WoUlDn'T bE tHe FiRsT mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE iT's HaPpEnEd, I gUeSs.
AC: :33 < hmmmmm...
AC: :33 < any other pawssibilities, you think?
TC: ShIt YeAh, ThErE's A wHoLe MoThErFuCkIn DoUbLe RaInBoW oF pOsSiBiLiTiEs, SiStEr.
TC: I mEaN, tErEzI's A cLaSsY mOtHeRfUcKiN lAdY, aNd I wOuLdN't MiNd GeTtIn My SiT oN aNd HaViN a MoThErFuCkIn JaM wItH hEr.
TC: Or I'd Be Up FoR cHiLlIn WiTh SoLlUx AnD aLl TaLkIn AbOuT mOtHeRfUcKiN gHoStS oR wHaTeVeR sHiT hE's AlWaYs On Up AbOuT.
TC: FuCk, I'd EvEn Be MoThErFuCkIn DoWn FoR lAyIn On ThE hOrN pIlE wItH kAnAyA aNd LeTtIn HeR gEt HeR mOtHeRfUcKiN mEdDlE oN.
TC: I gUeSs I'd Be AlL uP fOr BeInG pAlEbRoS wItH aNy MoThErFuCkEr WhAt'S wIlLiNg To PuT uP wItH mE.
AC: :33 < wow
AC: :33 < well...
AC: :33 < what apawt eridan?
TC: ErIdAn?
TC: AnGrY mOtHeRfUcKeR wHaT's AlWaYs TaLkIn AbOuT kIlLiN aLl MoThErFuCkIn LaNd DwElLeRs ErIdAn?
TC: ShIt, I gUeSs I'd Be Up FoR cRaCkIn An IcEcOlD wItH hIm AnD sPiLlIn SoMe ShIt On OuR fEeLiNgS.
TC: BuT fRaNkLy, ThE bRoThEr KiNd Of AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN sCaReS mE.
AC: :33 < hes not scary!
AC: :33 < hes just kind of a douche
TC: HaHaHa, WhAt?
AC: :33 < i mean, i know up until now, hes b33n a huge asshole
AC: :33 < and furankly, he still is kind of an asshole
AC: :33 < but i talked to him, and he said hed be willing to be your meowrail!
AC: :33 < he just really n33ds somepawdy to talk apawt his f33lings to
TC: FuCk, ReAlLy?
TC: I mEaN, tHaT's MoThErFuCkIn RiGhTeOuS aNd AlL.
TC: BuT sHiT, pAlEbRoS wItH eRiDaN?
TC: JuSt SeEmS kInD oF mOtHeRfUcKiN wEiRd FoR sOmE rEaSoN.
AC: :33 < look, think of it this way
AC: :33 < hes basically karkitty
AC: :33 < minus any red33ming qualities whatsoefur
TC: ShIiIiT, sIsTeR's AlL gEtTiN hEr MoThErFuCkIn HaRsH oN oN tHiS sEaDwElLiN mOtHeRfUcKeR!
TC: HoNk HoNk HoNk! :oD
AC: :33 < h33 h33, sorry!
AC: :33 < hes not a bad guy
AC: :33 < theres just something apawt him that just really annoys me purrsonally fur some reason
TC: HaHaHaHa, FuCk, CaN't BlAmE a SiStEr FoR aLl WoRkIn HeR mOtHeRfUcKiN dIsLiKe At AnOtHeR bRoThEr.
AC: :33 < well, would you be willing to be his meowrail?
TC: WeLl...
TC: ShIt, WhY tHe MoThErFuCk NoT?
TC: I gUeSs I'd Be WiLlIn To GiVe ThAt ShIt A sHoT iF hE iS.
AC: :33 < thats great!!
AC: :33 < so how apawt i set you two up fur a f33lings jam?
TC: WhOa, AlReAdY?
AC: :33 < sure!
AC: :33 < itll just be a way of testing the waters
AC: :33 < to s33 if you two will work out together
TC: WeLl FuCk, AlRiGhT, i GuEsS.
AC: :33 < great!
AC: :33 < im gonna talk to eridan again soon, and then we can work out the time!
AC: :33 < and ill tell him to bring some faygo, too!
TC: AwWwWwW yEaH, sIsTeR, tHaT's ThE kInD oF mOtHeRfUcKiN pLaN i CaN aLl Up AnD gEt WoRkEd ThE fUcK uP aBoUt!
AC: :33 < h33 h33!
AC: :33 < alright, talk to you in a bit, gamz33!
TC: YeAh, PeAcE, mY mOtHeRfUcKiN cAtSiS.
TC: HoNk HoNk :o)

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC].

[Kestral]

The next part of Hex Ascending has arrived. I don't know if I should continue posting it though. I post to get comments and so far there has been none. I also now have an Ao3 so I was thinking about only posting it there.

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Be Theon

You really should be eating something, but right now you’re to nervous to hold on to anything down, so instead you spend the time you reserved for that double checking your knots. You know the knots are all fine as this is the third time in this last hour you’ve checked them, but one can never be to careful. You’re actually checking the knots because you’re nervous and need something to fidget with, but nobody needs to know that.
Ok, you finish that, is the sun going down yet? You look out your - what was that noise? Oh that was you moving. Heh, you’re almost as high-strung as Alec right now, that silly guy <3 <3 <3.
You know what, you decide the sun is going down now, because you can’t sit around any longer. What was that your ex-gang leader always said? “Time waits for no man but man sure waits for time.” You sent that to your internet pal because she likes to write stories and she collects cool phrases.
Sunset means time to get ready to go. First you wind the rope and string combination around your waist, noting how slim it is. You are normally a pretty wiry guy and these past weeks have not been kind. You hope Alec doesn’t notice, he worries about you to much. It’s sweet and all, but you a a perfectly capable twelve year old (in fact you think that sometimes you are more capable than Alec <3) and can take care of yourself.
Camo jacket over the rope and string. Camo isn’t very useful in the city, but you two will be hiding in the woods. You can’t help but quietly squeal at how romantic it is. Your squeal comes out hollow in the shadowy church basement, darkening the mood. No mater how hard you try, the mood always ends up darkening.
Tree modus all set up. You made the tent the root card, and set it to leaf. You figure that if you guys have time to set up a tent, you will also want to take an inventory, so why not make it inaccessible unless you take everything else out? Available are, food, water, first aid and a heirloom that the teacher you defended pressed into your hand, whispering of it’s importance: a sealed wooden box. With names like that you had to shit around with your modus for at least a half an hour. Ok, you’re exaggerating, it didn’t take that long.
Everything ready, off you go.
The streets are empty. Wind tosses a lonely paper bag down the street. It rustles with a familiar sound. It is the song abandonment sings when no one is there to care for it. It makes you feel sad, and once again you feel that you are missing something. Something about you just isn’t right. Peace has eluded you, never letting you seek that which is missing. You are sure that somehow, you and Alec will find what it is that your destiny requires. Who knows? Maybe you already have.
“An example is often a deceptive mirror, and the order of destiny, so troubling to our thoughts, is not always found written in things past.” -Pierre Corneille.
You don’t really understand that quote, but you feel that it truly relates to your life somehow. It has been a long day, and the night will be longer yet.

Enough depressing stuff, be Adam

Adam is to busy flipping his shit and yelling at Fern in his dream. Maybe you should come back later.

Come back later

You flit from shadow to shadow on your way to Alec’s house. It’s easy enough as the shadows are lengthening. You feel so awesome, like a superhero or something. Maybe you could be that elf from that movie you and Alec once watched. He was so ninja, he ran up an elephant or something. You weren’t really paying attention, to many hot guys.
===>
You watch Theon scurrying around. What is that kid trying to do? He probably thinks he’s flitting from shadow to shadow. Oh, he’s drawn his bow from his strife specibus, you should probably get away from the window.
===>
You draw your bow from your strife specibus (bowandarrrowkind) so you can be more like the cool elf dude. You know this isn’t the time to mess around with silly stuff like this but being grim all the time gets tiring. One more shadow to flit to, then across the street and into a bush and you’re there. Off with the jacket and start unwinding the string/rope. Oh you could have put that in your sylladex. Darn it.
===>
What is taking him so long? You saw him get out his bow.
===>
Oh come on, the bow keeps slipping from where you looped it over your shoulder and getting in the way. You bet elf-guy never had this problem. Of course, you don’t think elf-guy ever hid in a bush under a camo jacket either. You don’t really remember, you were to distracted by the previously mentioned hot guys in the film. Whatever.
===>
What is going on? You haven’t heard any screaming or fighting. Is he ok?
===>
There, finally ready to fire.
===>
You better check. You poke your head out the window.
===>
Aim and - whoashit. You jerk the bow just in time to avoid hitting Alec’s silly head. The arrow flies through a different window, impaling itself in a cabinet. Luckily no one was in the room or the jig would be up.
===>
Theon’s making a “what the hell face” at you. You make a “sorry” face at him, and duck back inside. You need to learn that that kid normally has it under control.
===>
Ok, it’s simple enough, slowly pull the string back, and hope the arrow comes with it. At this point the string is more important than the arrow but it’s best to save your arrow because you won’t be getting any more any time soon. Rats, the cabinet door is opening instead of the arrow pulling free. Hopefully no one notices.
===>
You hear a crashing sound two stories down, that is to say, ground level. You can’t help it, you look outside again. Theon is holding on to the string, looking pale.
===>
Tons of pans, crashing to the ground. You freeze up, you’ve been discovered. Ow, what? A pebble just grazed your cheek. Looking up you see Alec leaning out his window. You have to get moving, now.
===>
Theon pulls on the string hard, it looks like the pebble did the trick. He has the string now and grabs another arrow from his specibus. You get the hell away from the window.
===>
This is no time for panicking. Ok, it’s the perfect time for panicking, you just don’t have time for it. String tied to the arrow and fire, then grab another arrow and prepare to be attacked.
===>
The arrow’s in your room, it’s go time.
===>
A girl runs toward you and unlike Alec would, you don’t hesitate to aggrieve. You know her, and as she absconds with an arrow in her knee, you start to cry. From sadness, and from fear. And from crying you start to be more afraid because your aim will be off, but you don’t hesitate to draw your bow again and aim at the next strifer.
===>
You really hope that rope is secure, because it’s a long drop. You draw your aluminum broom from your broomkind strife specibus. You have a fucking stupid strife specibus. Unfortunately, when you were ten you thought is was a good idea.
===>
Alec is finally sliding down the rope, and you have never been so relieved. Kids have stopped attacking you because they’ve realized you meant business, but Leader, as everyone now calls him, has arrive and has sent people out to find makeshift shields. Luckily he hasn’t noticed that you are quietly crying and probably couldn’t hit a moving target.
“are you ok? YOUR CRYING ARE YOU HURT!?!”
“i’m just scared. we need to go now.”
He grabs your hand and you both start running. You put your bow and arrow back in your specibus, you don’t want to shoot any more people. Letting Alec lead you, pulling you on, you leave the town you grew up in, knowing that your brother, the gang leader, will give chase.

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Wow, I always think: "gee, this part is really long." And then I look at it, and it isn't very long.
Previously on Hex Ascending: part three

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ childishGambino: Personally, I rather liked your Gamzee voice. But you're right, he doesn't get a whole lot of character development. Maybe more eventually? In any case, I'm beginning to wonder how well Eridan and Gamzee as moirails is going to work out, especially if Gamzee ever gets sober in this timeline.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Holy crap I love what Rose and Kanaya have done with the main lab. Can I reset my entire fanfic and set it in THAT lab? No? Half my cast would be dead and two would be in another universe? I already just did reset my entire fanfic? Oh, right. I'll be outside. You know. Editing.

...the main lab into that lab. *smokebomb*

[The Phoenixian]

Holy crap I love what Rose and Kanaya have done with the main lab. Can I reset my entire fanfic and set it in THAT lab? No? Half my cast would be dead and two would be in another universe? I already just did reset my entire fanfic? Oh, right. I'll be outside. You know. Editing.

...the main lab into that lab. *smokebomb*

You do realize that in your fic they've been there for some for a while? Even if there isn't plenty of time to have done their own decorations that doesn't mean they can't be in progress.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Other people use the main lab. Philistines. But yeah, I suppose I could say it resembles what Kanaya's done to the executive office outside her bedroom, except for the times she just leaves her organized clutter there.