Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[Wessolf27]

Gwyddi: Have the negotiation rank of Eloquent Elocutionist those trips to the bars have earned you that.
Sebastian: Be horribly stunned.

[Doorhandle]

Gwyddi: Have the negotiation rank of Eloquent Elocutionist those trips to the bars have earned you that.
Sebastian: Be horribly stunned.

...DO IT.

[PavlovianCat]

Gwyddi: Have the negotiation rank of Eloquent Elocutionist those trips to the bars have earned you that.
Sebastian: Be horribly stunned.

Ah, but it only when intoxicated, otherwise he couldn't tell an Elocutionist from an Optometrist. Hope he has some booze on hand.

[Rolf Kopter]

> Gwyddi: Before you start your discussion, unnerve the guards by chewing ridiculous amounts of candy, which you got form all that train-punching.

Gwyddi: Have the negotiation rank of Eloquent Elocutionist those trips to the bars have earned you that.
Sebastian: Be horribly stunned.

Ah, but it only when intoxicated, otherwise he couldn't tell an Elocutionist from an Optometrist. Hope he has some booze on hand.

Since he's a Jeering Thug, producing a bottle of liquor out of thin air must be a basic class requirement. (Otherwise, starting all those pub brawls would be difficult, especially in bars where he's banned. So, basically, everywhere.)

[Navigatorblack]

Gwyddi: Equip your MONACLE OF DEBATORIOUS VERBOSAGE and take this sucker out!

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 18

It's your DEAR BROTHER, who has returned from his train raid after doubtlessly stuffing his PORTFOLIO OF POSSESSIONS with lottery tickets and candy. So much candy, like you wouldn't even believe. And so, you don't.

Of course, he's probably just going to laugh at your floundering for a while.

Fortunately, you are quite ACCUSTOMED to your brother's behaviour. You just have to make Tristan feel safe, so that he won't see it coming. That being...



...when Gwydian finally SUCKERPUNCHES AND / OR CHOKES the distracted party.

Helloooooooooo
I have a feeling we're gonna be the bestest of friends
We're gonna have awesome sleepovers and watch adult movies
We'll have our secret handshake and shit
Believe it, man
And now
NOW
We negotiate

Since he's a Jeering Thug, producing a bottle of liquor out of thin air must be a basic class requirement. (Otherwise, starting all those pub brawls would be difficult, especially in bars where he's banned. So, basically, everywhere.)

But, eh, I'm not too big on words
Get in the way of all the action, y'know
So
I'll let my high-proof friend here do the talking instead
Hope you like what he's gonna say
'cause he's gonna say it pretty hard

And then, the true might of the ELOQUENT ELOCUTIONIST is unleashed.

Gwyddi: Have the negotiation rank of Eloquent Elocutionist those trips to the bars have earned you that.
Sebastian: Be horribly stunned.

Gwyddi: negotiate better terms... with your FISTS
Also for lols
Gwyddi: be better at debatery (fist method or just hilariously better at the non-violent way)

Holy hell what the fuck is he even doing

You are utterly stunned by the display of... whatever that is. You can keep your cool somewhat, at least. Obviously, the debatery skill level is far too high for you to comprehend, combining abilities of both the ELOQUENT ELOCUTIONIST and Gwydian's own special class, the VIRTUOSO VENTRILOQUIST. Using a complex pattern of UNSETTLING GESTURES, VILE VENTRILOQUISM and a delicious array of DOWNRIGHT HORRIFYING PHRASES PERFECTLY SUITED TO BEING WHISPERED IN ONE'S EAR FROM A VERY CLOSE DISTANCE, your brother, plain and simply, scares the fuck out of that guard.

Gwyddi: Equip your MONACLE OF DEBATORIOUS VERBOSAGE and take this sucker out!

Man, I wish there were monacles around here
Like, seriously
A monacle-sporting army, now THERE'S a kingdom I can respect

And that's where you step in.

You confirm that Tristan does, in no way, intends to persist on his unrealistic demands. In fact, he'll get you in the dungeon! He has a special WINGED KEY, which can't fly or anything awesome like that, it just has stupid wings tacked on. It opens an unassuming secret door on the back of this building. They're actually supposed to guard it, too, but they kinda neglect it ALL THE TIME.

And what about the ULTIMATE WEAPON?, you ask.

Tristan hastily states that it's a mere rumor he heard. Some guy calling himself the BEAST MAGE supposedly got his hands on a seriously powerful artifact, and, hey, might as well be an ultimate one, no? He's sorry that he doesn't know more.

He also asks whether he can still accompany you.

> Gwiddy: Literal interpretations, level 5: Pull the chair out from under him. His argument won't have a leg to stand on.

Sebastian: Toss Gwiddy the chair.

You say maybe.



Gwahaha look at me bro
OIYM A GUAHRD AND ALSO A DRAGUN
Is that a perfect impersonation or what
And now you can't deny I'm totally useful
I got us an awesome key
And so much candy
So much candy like you wouldn't even believe

With poor, poor Tristan taken out of commission, the WINGED KEY is yours. You have gained somewhat valuable information and, more importantly, access to a dungeon with INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND DANGEROUS MAGICK THINGIES.

You feel a little bad for Tristan, though. You chide your brother for being a tad UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT. Your brother replies that you were the one tossing him that chair. You say GOOD POINT.

==>

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Also I give Torquemadras Trump the MadFox seal of approval.

Yesssss

Gonna take this sucker right to the showcase

Seriously, thanks! I try to keep it entertaining throughout!

And now, people... regular schedule continues. Keep 'em coming!

[Whimbrel]

WELP, SOUNDS LIKE WE'VE GOT A DUNGEON TO RANSACK--I mean explore.

[PavlovianCat]

> Other Guard: Barely even notice Tristan's absence. You never really liked him anyway.

[Doorhandle]

WELP, SOUNDS LIKE WE'VE GOT A DUNGEON TO RANSACK--I mean explore.

You got it right the first time.

[Cheshire Fox]

>Tristan reappear much later as a villian that nobody takes seriously, but is in fact deadly, in other words go questing to become a dragon.

ALSO
>RAIDING TIME (everything: be already looted)

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Well they weren't guarding it were they?

[Chaos Waltz]

Seb> Leave Tristan a note so that, on his awakening, he can follow you into the dungeon if he so wishes.

Gwiddi> Have already entered dungeon and cleared the first room of monsters.

[Hecthur]

Take this, it's free

[Oven]

Seb and Gwiddi: Engage looting mode
Guards: Engage 2 v 2 battle combo.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 19

> Other Guard: Barely even notice Tristan's absence. You never really liked him anyway.

Seems like that other guard is busy not being busy. Maybe this is a sign of the frustration that Tristan had to endure every day. The snide comments. The whispered jokes. The pokes in the ribs. The bad jokes. OH GOD, THE BAD JOKES. It is not surprising that such ignorance and lack of camaraderie can cause a man to yearn for PLOT SIGNIFICANCE.

Tristan
Who's Tristan
Sounds like a total loser

You proceed to the secret entrance that Tristan told you about. As expected, it is ENTIRELY UNGUARDED - probably because the guards were just too lazy. And you have to admit, you do not see much of a point in guarding an entrance that's SUPPOSED TO BE SECRET.



Naturally, King Skal did not quite grasp the concept.

Keyholes in dragon ears. And, woah, that dragon kinda SQUINTS once he opens his maw. It's like a giant spiral of worship, turning upon itself until it becomes some kind of infinite one-sided geometrical figure of self-deprecation.

A SELF-PARODY MOEBIUS STRIP, if you will.

And then, you enter the dungeon.

>RAIDING TIME (everything: be already looted)

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Well they weren't guarding it were they?

The everything does its best to be looted already.



It fails MAGNIFICENTLY.

WELP, SOUNDS LIKE WE'VE GOT A DUNGEON TO RANSACK--I mean explore.

Seb and Gwiddi: Engage looting mode
Guards: Engage 2 v 2 battle combo.

This is absolutely incredible! Treasures and magical weapons, artifacts that had gathered dusts for years, and TURNED THE DUST INTO MAGICAL ARTIFACTS AS WELL, and tomes, invaluable tomes detailing demons ALL OVER THE WORLD.

And the TREASURE. With this much stuff, you can not only annihilate demons by BLINKING VERY HARD AT THEM, you could buy yourself an awesome armor as well! No more STOLEN STUFF FROM DEAD GUYS, no sir!

What did I tell you bro
We're RICH
AND ARMED
ARMED TO THE TEETH
One day you'll thank me for punching that train

And indeed, all is well. Now all that's left to do is to identify the most valuable goodies and RANSACK THE PLACE LIKE A VIKING ON CRACK. And then, you can use your new superior firepower and buying power to find that BEAST MAGE and take away the ULTIMATE WEAPON, with the help of your new toys.

Like the Ten-Fold Perforator Relic. The Cursing Crown Spider (with actual crown). The Tome of Many More Tinier Tomes. The All-Seeing Swirly Glas Ball. They're yours. Yours alone.

NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW.

>Tristan reappear much later as a villian that nobody takes seriously, but is in fact deadly, in other words go questing to become a dragon.

Seriously, man
Who the fuck is Tristan

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Take this, it's free

Holy crap

FANART

You're a scholar and a gentleman, Hecthur, and I shall henceforth pay more attention to your awesome drawings... currently being Pokemon, as I see!
Watch out for furious counter-doodles!

[Schazer]

There's a switch in the wall with an arrow above it!

E: No wait, screw that there's a slinky check that shit out pronto

[Chaos Waltz]

There's a switch in the wall with an arrow above it!

E: No wait, screw that there's a slinky check that shit out pronto

Sid> USE SLINKY TO PULL SWITCH!

[Whimbrel]

Is that a mummified cat?!? I THINK WE HAVE A NEW TEAM MASCOT, GWYDIAN!

[PavlovianCat]

> Dungeon: Be a magically awakened sentient being. Also possibly somewhat insane from being left alone in the dark for untold ages.

[ZenFeline]

LOOT. EVERYTHING.

[Not The Author]

Tristan is the guy that just relocked the secret entrance.


What? Can't make this adventure too easy.

[redaeth]

Err, the big Welcome Exocists signs is giving me a baaaad feeling. With all this magic around you might wanna grab what you came for and prepare for a battle.

[Navigatorblack]

PORTFOLIO OF POSSESSIONS: Be large enough to accommodate all of the treasure easily. Treasure: Eagerly jump into the PORTFOLIO'S of these two lovely gentlemen. More fun than lying in the dark after all

[Doorhandle]

>Aquire RICHES AND POWER UNTOLD.

[Oven]

>Be too low a level to use any of it.

[Wessolf27]

One of the masks: (Supposedly) Be cursed to deform the face of your wearer.

Gwyddi: Wear the mask, fool your brother into being possessed.
Sebastian: FTFO