Twenty Tens; Two Hundred More

[goggleman64]

1

You are Papa Fairy. You are standing in the foyer of your modest, two-story (plus basement) suburban home. Also in the foyer are your daughter, standing by the front door, and a young punk who is holding your daughter's hand.

You regard the punk as he stares down the barrel of your Shotgun of Mysteries, your finger twitching on the trigger.

"Sir," he says, "we were just going to the movies."

LIES

He just wants to-

• dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.
• sex her up!
• make off with her XBox!
• trick your daughter into revealing classified information (Such as the location of your buried treasure)
• go to the movies! Wait, what were you upset about again?
• steal all the gold from El Dorado.

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Hello! Welcome to my adventure. Don't read the posts in order

If you're new, may I suggest starting at this post and clicking the blue command links until you win. Or die. Or run out of links.

For giving commands: you can give a new command for any post. These commands are good examples. I will make a post for every command that is given until we hit post 400.

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LOOSE ENDS (up to page 70)

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page 10
page 20
page 28
page 42
page 58
page 60
page 61
page 62
page 63
page 64
page 65
page 66
page 68
page 69
page 70
page 71
page 72
page 73
page 77
page 78
page 88
page 89

SPECIAL SUGGESTION TYPES

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Stable Link Loop: If you like, you can suggest that one existing page ought to somehow lead to another existing page (like Money Money Cashflow leading to the fire-ants-in-your-eyes scene). I will then create a new page that links the two in a smooth, unsuspicious fashion. The syntax for this would be something like "43 => 85".

Dead Man's Link: Suggest a regular link, but specify that you want the ensuing page to contain Papa Fairy kickin' that bucket so good. The syntax is something like "Dead 43: Eat a pile of nails"

[Huw_Dawson]

- dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

[Chwoka]

He just wants to sex her up!

[vengefulAmbition]

- make off with her Xbox.

[goggleman64]

2~back

> dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

-He just wants to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight! But your daughter hasn't SEEN that movie yet, and you won't have her first taste of a cinematic classic RUINED by a no-talent punk!

You look at him down the barrel of the Shotgun. "Tell Batman that they don't accept the Bat Credit Card in __!"

• BRIT LAND
• Metropolis
• Cat Planet
• Zoombiniville

[goggleman64]

3~back

> He just wants to sex her up!

-He just wants to sex her up!

"GET OFF MY DAUGHTER, SCUM!" you scream at the punk.

"Woah, woah!" the punk says. He's got both his hands up; he's backing out the front door. Your daughter tells you you're a-

• fruitcake
• very handsome man, and a gifted lyricist.

[goggleman64]

4~back

> make off with her Xbox.

-He just wants to make off with her XBox!

"I'm not taking anything less than $200 for the Xbox," you say to the punk.

"What?" the punk asks.

"You're selling my Xbox?" asks your daughter.

You shoot a mystery into the doorframe inches from the punk's head. He pisses his pants and-

• explodes with tears.
• counters with an offer of $150

[Roselalonde]

> Explodes with tears.

[Whimbrel]

2 - BRIT LAND

3 - fruitcake

4 -counters with an offer of 150$

[Chwoka]

3 - very handsome man, and a gifted lyricist.

By the time this is over, there will be a Chwoka-only train.

edit: 2 - Metropolis.

[goggleman64]

5~back

> Explodes with tears.

-and explodes with tears. Several of the tears strike your daughter. You see them leave tiny, sad bruises and your blood boils.

"PRICE JUST WENT UP!" you bellow - then one of the punk-tears hits you in the eye. You reel backwards into-

• A reel.

[goggleman64]

6~back

> BRIT LAND

"-in BRIT LAND!"

You let fly with a blast of Mystery. You were aiming for the throat, but years of Fairy Dust lend a tremor to your hands and the sparkly rainbow just smacks into his mohawk.

Your daughter yelps as the punk's hair -- as the punk's face -- as the whole punk's MASK comes off to reveal none other than BRITISH ___MAN!

• Tophat.
• Tea

[Roselalonde]

> Tophat.

[Chwoka]

5 - A reel.

[goggleman64]

7~back

> fruitcake

Your daughter tells you you're a fruitcake. You respond in even terms that this punk she wants to date looks like a woman. Your daughter responds that one, no he doesn't, and two, -

• two, one, two. One, two, one, two.
• She was planning to kill him and sell his organs on the black market to pay for her higher education!

[goggleman64]

8~back

> counters with an offer of 150$

-he pisses his pants and counters with an offer of $150.

"Your offer was so absurdly high," he adds, "that I pissed my pants!"

"$200's a bargain," you growl, advancing on him. "It's an XBox of the highest quality."

"What are you two talking about?" cries your daughter. She turns to the punk. "I thought we were going on a date!"

Suddenly, you feel ____ against your neck.

• A tounge.
• Another neck -- your own neck?! --
• A bullet made of tomatos

[Roselalonde]

> A tounge.

[goggleman64]

9~back

> very handsome man, and a gifted lyricist.

-you're a very handsome man, and a gifted lyricist.

You thank your daughter with a passionate kiss.

"Henry!" your wife says behind you. You swing the Shotgun around to bear on her, but suddenly there's the sound of a-

• Another neck -- your own neck?! --
• smooch to the lips from your wife.
• A train.
• A fundamental mechanic of reality breaking.
• A bullet made of tomatos
• Lyric that you wrote
• Fridge.

[Chwoka]

> 9: Another neck -- your own neck?! --

>10: smooch to the lips from your wife.

edit: damn it i need to remember to number my commands.

[Roselalonde]

> A train.

[Chwoka]

10: A fundamental mechanic of reality breaking.

[Reecer6]

6 - Tea
2 - Cat Planet
9 - A bullet made of tomatos
10 - Lyric that you wrote

[goggleman64]

10~back

> Metropolis.

"Tell Batman," you say, "that they don't take the Bat Credit Card in Metropolis!"

"a-HA!" the punk shouts. "But I am of German Heritage!"

You pause, and lower the shotgun. "What does that mean?"

"Not a whole lot."

Your daughter knees you in the balls and as you fall to the ground, you see her-

• leave with the punk

[goggleman64]

11~back

> Tophat.

-none other than BRITISH TOPHAT MAN!

"What the fuck?" your daughter shouts at the punk. "Who the hell are you?"

"Well, I'm British Tophat Man, yes I am!" British Tophat Man adjusts his monocle and clicks his heels before bowing to your daughter.

As your daughter knees him in the balls, you shoot him in his-

• joy gland
• Chickadee

[goggleman64]

12~back

- A reel.

-you reel backwards into a reel. Your wife's whole Family Home Movie Night setup -- the film reel, the popcorn bowl, the Twix bars and the jars full of fire ants -- all crashes down around you as you tumble blindly.

You lay on the ground, moaning. You no longer have the Shotgun of Mysteries. The fire ants are crawling into your-

• eye cavities
• Miniature Horror Film Set-Up
• shotgun.