CHUMROLL 2: (Traditional Rude Joke Regarding Trollslum)

**ambrosialAssassin** · 05-02-2012, 02:06 AM

==> Be the music-loving tsundere
What? I'm nOt a tsundErE.

==> Yes you are. Now be her already.
WhatEvEr, stupid..

Your name is Kaira Kamisa, you're 13-years old and you are a COMPLETELY NORMAL GIRL.

tl;dr and Others

Reference Picture

I'm available for rp on pesterchum if anyone wants. -is craving rp-

**vortexTechie** · 05-02-2012, 06:58 AM

==> Be that guy
What guy?
==> Hang on a minute! Who put you in charge? And who the hell are you, anyway?
I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the Constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old and I'm the man who is gonna save your lives and all 6 billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?

Because you did not have a problem with that, you're suddenly this guy.

Your name is THE DOCTOR. Well, it's not actually your name, but if you tell anyone your real name SOMETHING INCREDIBLY BAD will happen. As mentioned, you are a TIME LORD. This basically means that you look like a HUMAN, but you're REALLY SMART, have TWO HEARTS, can see POSSIBLE FUTURE AND PAST EVENTS, and LIKE BANANAS.
Also, you have the feeling that one day you're GOING TO EXPLODE WITH A BIG YELLOWY LIGHT, and after that BECOME REALLY GOOFY AND WEAR BOWTIES, which are COOL, if it weren't for the game you're about to play.

Your room TARDIS displays a variety of INTERESTS such as TIME TRAVEL, ADVENTURE, PICKING UP RANDOM GIRLS TO SERVE AS COMPANIONS, and, of course LONG, BROWN COATS.
You immensely dislike GUNS, and try to avoid any form of VIOLENCE whenever possible. You are also good with COMPUTERS, ELECTRONICS, and basically ANY SORT OF DEVICE, because of your huge TIME LORD INTELLECT. In your free time, you like RUNNING from THINGS THAT ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU.
Usually you don't follow the RULES, but maybe that's because you never really bothered to learn them. An exception to that is the SHADOW PROCLAMATION, which your frequently call upon to stop aliens from invading Earth / request audience / just scare the shit out of them.
Last but not least, you love NOT KNOWING THINGS, because if you don't know something, that means you can find out!

Aside from all that, you are also THE LAST OF THE TIME LORDS, because you killed all the others, but you do not like to talk about that.

**PriffyViole** · 05-02-2012, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by ambrosialAssassin

[center]==> Be the music-loving tsundere

((Heads up, you missed a V in her quirk.))

**Herzinth** · 05-05-2012, 05:48 PM

Name: Sara Petti
Title: Mage of Mind
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Chumhandle: rapaciousWillow
Quirks: talks in a really hurried way, and does not use the " ' " thing ever to combine words. like, at all.
Fetch Modus: Clap Modus
Strife Specibus: Stickkind
Guardian: Sitter (As in babysitter)
Dream Planet: Derse
Land: Land of Salt and Sand

**Insani** · 05-08-2012, 05:58 AM

>Be the Giants.

YEAH, THAT'x JUxT IMPOxxIBLE. TRY AGAIN, FUCKFACE.

>Well, just be you, then. But make sure to explain your race!

You are Vexirian Krexi, a member of the most powerful sentient species in the universe, the Xorxalians. Or, for simplicity's sake, the Giants. You live on the prime city of Xorxalis, your homeworld, you have been seated here in Karx due to your lethality during the trials. Once you finished maturing, you were accepted into one of the most powerful clans on Xorxalis, the Bladed Cross. The Empire has branded your lethality a very reddish orange, making you one of the most powerful Xorxalians alive. You are a hundred and fifty years old. Your parents, who you haven't seen since you were turned over to the trials, were a prostitute and a veteran from the Wars.

>Woah! Slow down! What the fuck are you talking about? How about a quick runover of your early life? That should teach us something.

xIGH, FINE. YOU HUMANx ARE MORONx.

As a hatchling, you and your siblings were unwanted by your mother, and your father had never seen your mother after that single encounter. The escorters were quick to arrive, and upon learning of your parents having only met once, were forced to track down your father, Lioxxin Krexi. Both wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, and put not a single coin into your training fund, leaving you utterly helpless, had you gotten a fatal injury. You and your five brothers and sister were taken to the trials, as is Giants custom. You were taken out via helicopter into a huge forest, surrounded by metal walls, to prevent the beasts inside from getting out.

You were dropped in the middle of the forest, unconscious, with your brothers and sisters, and left to fend for yourselves entirely. Unlike the giants whose trials were funded by their parents, you were all on your own. Nobody would try to keep you alive, you had only yourself. Instinct guided you, and you worked with your brothers and sister, facing challenge every day. Your brother, Lithian Krexi was the first to die. You were too young to mourn him, and if you were any older, your mind would already have been hardened enough for you not to flinch at the loss. As you and your siblings fought, you grew quickly, and so did they, thanks to Xorxalian biology. Your body adapted to every challenge you faced, due to the rapid adaptation present in every hatchling. And as you fought, as your mind evolved over the years, you quickly started to stand out, as the leader of your group. Your skills and intelligence were much higher than those of any of your siblings. However, your strength could not save your siblings. You were alone with your brother, Jint Krexi, whose survival seemed nothing but luck, having escaped hundreds of near-death situations, survived countless wounds. And during the last week, he passed that luck on to you. One of the most terrifying beasts in the forest ambushed you, killing him and delivering a normally fatal blow to you. Luckily, the beast was not a carnivore, but simply territorial. Your advanced build let you survive, and a week later, you were extracted, after three gruesome years of survival. As much as you may have hated those Giants back then, without the trials, your strength would be comparable to a blubbering human, if you knew what those were.

The reviewers, reviewing the footage taken of you by their hidden cameras quickly rated you as one of the most powerful Giants alive, officially recognizing you as a member of the Giants ranked a reddish orange on the power scale. Despite your training being unfunded, by law, you were advanced into the highest ranks of training, being given every luxury possible to realize your full potential. When you learned to speak, you were told your name, told the names of your siblings, and told that you were one of the greatest Giants alive in the century. You flew through the schooling camp, and every year made your abilities easier to see. Fifty years later, you were released from the camp, told the name of your parents, and given a large sum of money, as is awarded to anyone with a hue on the scale lower than seventy five. You were greeted by a recruiter from the Bladed Cross, and you joined them. You were put through the initiation, and passed it easily. Your lower right eye was given the ring, a mark showing you had joined a clan.

You trained for another fifty years in the guild, learning discipline, the code of honor, and fighting techniques. Your admission was free, as the clan was proud to have a member as powerful as you. After that, you ended up celebrating your first century of life by moving to Karx, the capital of the Giant empire, reserved only for the richest and most powerful members of Giant society. You ended up taking jobs decimating enemies, mostly consisting of pirates and raiders trying to raid the weaker planets of the Giant empire. You also work as a mercenary, and are enlisted in the Giant military, despite it being mostly used for intimidation and patrols nowadays, thanks to the Emperor's obsession with maintaining the Giants' strength. You behave in an extremely disciplined fashion, much more mature than many of the punks graduating in modern times. As a Giant with an extremely successful adaptation, you can expect to live over 2000 years, compared to the average lifespan of 1,250 for giants.

Your inner voice is a simple form of typing that uses good grammar and spelling. You type IN CAPx, WITH A xPECIAL UxE FOR THE LETTER X, as your outer shriek. The outer shriek is a social standard of speech that is used to intimidate aliens. Whereas the inner voice is used to converse with fellow Giants or friends, the Outer voice is used to intimidate enemies or aliens. Your corpseTag is corpseHoarder.

>Alright... still some stuff you haven't covered. Let's get that stuff out quick!

>OOC MODE ACTIVATE!

Giants live for 1,250 years on average, a value highly offset by the weaker giants, those with a hue higher than 275 tend to live for only 250-500 years. They're a very violent and powerful species, the average Giant is about twice as large as an adult. They are insect-like in appearance, and have four eyes, each of which can move on their own. They come with head formations unique to different regions. They hatch from eggs, and their mothers create one to ten eggs at once. During the first 3 years of their life, they adapt to challenges, so every Giant is taken from their parents upon birth. They are given the names and the locations of their parents after leaving schooling, which takes 50 years. They are then either recruited by a clan, or find one on their own. The giants are ruled by an Empire, usually the most powerful Giant alive, or just any giant who manages to assassinate him. Once a ruler is dead, all of his guards, etc, instantly pledge their alliance to the new ruler.

The Wars, as they are called, were a massive race to expand by the Giants. Armed with extremely dangerous troops, and coming from a planet inhabited by monsters, they quickly spread through the galaxy, unable to find a species able to stand up to them. However, they spread themselves too thin, and the rest of the galaxy quickly fought back. The Giants managed to hold the line, mostly, although they were pushed back. Their technology, being one of the oldest species in the universe, was able to defend them when they were outnumbered more than fivefold. However, the war was called off when studies showed that the new planets bred weaker giants, a simple idea that nobody noticed, due to the excitement of war time. The dictator at the time, or emperor, called off the war. He reached an agreement with the other races, and traded many of his easy to colonize planets for harsh, dangerous planets that would breed strong giants.

Due to protests by Giants seeking easier life, the ban on colonizing paradise planets (which were only used for research until then) was lifted, on the condition that Giants who venture there are doomed to isolation, so as to not corrupt the gene pool. The Giants race are still building up armies, and so are the other species. They live in a paranoid peace, every species afraid of the Giants, aware of the danger they pose, and quickly attempting to advance their technology. The current Dictator, Maxiallux Proin, has added more attempts to intimidate aliens to their current social standards.

An average adult is 2-3x the size of a normal human, they're generally heavy-weights although some speedy giants do exist. They have a tough, shell-like covering, and are hard to seriously hurt. Even swords scaled up to their size would do hardly any damage at all.

...There it is! After more than 8 months of waiting, the giants are FINALLY DONE!!!

If I missed anything, I'll probably edit this one. Bluh.

**Captain Combusken** · 05-14-2012, 11:53 AM

> Be Me.

How the fuck cna I be you when I ma me?
*can
*am

> No, I meant be the writer of this post.

Oh right, I see. Well that does make sense, because I am he.

Your name... oh, but I shall inform you of your CODE NAME only. You are called OP, because those are your initials. You're WAY TOO MYSTERIOUS to reveal anyth ing past that. You call yourself OWAIN ROBERTS when you have to give one, because that's as close as you're WILLING TO REVEAL about your REAL NAME.

You're not THAT MYSTERIOUS, but you are SLIGTLY PARANOID that you may be discovered but some PEDOPHILE on the internet or SOMETHING LIKE THAT. You know IT'S SILLY. But then again, you're CONSTANTLY BEHAVING ERRATICALLY. Due to CHILDHOOD BULLYING, you are a BIT OF AN ATTENTION SEEKER. You play the part of the SMALL ANNOYING ONE in a group. This is because you lack SOCIAL CONFIDENCE. INTELLECTUAL CONFIDENCE, on the other hand, is one of your STRENGTHS. Though you are NOT A GENIUS, you are QUITE INTELLIGENT. You are talented in LANGUAGES and good at SCIENCE AND MATHS. This is because you are a very LOGICAL PERSON. You hate WORKING HARD though, and if you can avoid it (as you are doing now!) then YOU WILL. You LOGICAL VIEW of the world combined with your SOCUIAL INSECURITY menas that you are ALWAYS CORRECTING people. Whether they are GRAMATICALLY INCORRECT in their SPEECH, FACTUALLY INCORRECT or are doing something which you believe to be MORALLY or SOCIALLY INCORRECT, you will always tell them the CORRECT THING.

You enjoy CHILDISH VIDOE GAME FRANCHISES, such as SONIC TEAM, or your favourite of all, POKEMON. You enjoy PLAYING THESE VIDEO GAMES and READING. You WATCH TV OCASIONALLY. You also enjoy HIP-HOP/RAP MUSIC, but there are other ECLECTIC SONGS in your list oif FAVOURITE TUNES.

Your chumhandle is captainCombusken [CC] and you type Quite ffats with corretc grammar, punctuaiton and spelling, but due to the rapid natur eof your typing you make spelling mistakes, but you cotrrect them.
*fast
*correct
*punctuation
*nature of
*correct

If you were to play SBURB/SBURB 2, you would probably be the KNIGHT or SMITH OF FIRE (Using you anger to help others/ Creating Anger in others) and you would reside on the LAND OF FLAMES AND LAVA.

tl;dr

**opticVisualist** · 05-15-2012, 11:39 AM

I have ONE THING TO SAY.
Face placement
The face belongs in the lower-right of the head.
Perhaps try to compare it to John of Rose, or any of the canon characters and make sure your characters face is in a sensible position.

**ZDG** · 05-15-2012, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by opticVisualist

The face belongs in the lower-right of the head..
*snip*
Perhaps try to compare it to John of Rose, or any of the canon characters and make sure your characters face is in a sensible position.

Yet on the sprite that is your avatar, they are too much on the lower right.

**ashdenej** · 05-15-2012, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by ZDG

Yet on the sprite that is your avatar, they are too much on the lower right.

How amusing and also please don't critique people's sprites if they haven't asked for it. Even if they have, don't do it here - do it in the Critique Thread.

**goldenChevalier** · 05-15-2012, 09:14 PM

Just adding these in.

>Be the self-righteous broad.
I beg thy pardon?

>Sorry. Be the rather courageous strange-talking lass.
I will taketh that as a compliment.

Your name is KATE FALCON. You were born on a New Year’s Day thirteen years ago. You live with your UNCLE in a townhouse in the sunny city of SAN DIEGO. You have plenty of interests. You have a passion for stories of VALIANT HEROISM and EPIC FANTASY with your favorite characters being of the FORTUITOUS, VALIANT, AND CHIVALRIC NATURE and your shelves are stacked full of said stories. You are a closet fan of POWER RANGER SHOWS. No, not the stupid cheesy cliché-ridden American rendition; rather the ORIGINAL JAPANESE version with ENGLISH SUBTITLES, which you watch with near religious fervor on the internet. However, the fantastical exploits of said characters have inspired you to take on a sense of JUSTICE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS that borders on a HERO COMPLEX that sometimes annoy your friends (real life or otherwise). Your UNCLE thinks you’ll make a fine SOLDIER or POLICEWOMAN someday if you maintain that kind of attitude—something which you’ll probably consider sometime in the future.

You really like ORNITHOLOGY and thus have your walls filled with pictures and posters of many different birds (your name practically screams it). And like many other young impressionable people your age, you have an interest for ANCIENT MYTHOLOGIES and anything PARANORMAL and SUPERNATURAL. Though unlike someone you know who leans more on the zoologically dubious and rather dark sort, your otherworldly preferences fall more on the EXALTED and DIVINE. You also like to DRAW from time to time even though you’re not very good at it. And you are fond of collecting BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED TRADING CARDS; you don’t care what game they’re from either—you just collect them for the PICTURES. When you’re not at home talking to your friends via PESTERCHUM, playing VIDEO GAMES, or making up random chipper tunes on your XYLOPHONE, you’re at your Uncle’s place of employment, the local ZOO, just chilling out at the AVIAN SECTION.

Your chumhandle is goldenChevalier and for some weird reason, thou often hast the tendency to speak and type in an archaic mannerand you couldn’t care less if anyone finds it weird—something which puts you on good terms with an internet friend who has a thing for IRONY. Your favorite shirt was a white one with two YELLOW CHEVRONS decal smack-dab in the center. Your computer and emergency back-up laptop’s web browser is ABRAXAS. For your sylladex, you have your Uncle’s old VOICE COMMAND type modus from when he served in the MILITARY. It’s easy enough to use…if you can remember all the voice commands you assign for each card you put an item in; the more cards you use, the more you have to assign and remember, which can be quite frustrating when you forget. Your allocated STRIFE ABSTRATA is GLAIVEKIND though you haven’t got a reason to use it since it doesn’t exist as of yet.

SUMMARY:
NAME: KATHERINE “KATE” FALCON
AGE: THIRTEEN
BIRTHDAY: JANUARY 01, 1996
RESIDENCE: SAN DIEGO, CA
GUARDIAN: UNCLE
SHIRT SYMBOL: YELLOW CHEVRONS
INTRUMENT: XYLOPHONE
PESTERCHUM HANDLE: goldenChevalier
COLOR: #EEC900/ 238, 201, 0
TYPING STYLE: Proper grammar, syntax, and punctuation. Likes to use archaic/Shakespearean English. Doesn’t use contractions. Switches to modern language with strong emotions.
WEB BROWSER: ABRAXAS
TITLE: DAME OF HOPE ('Dame' being the female title for 'Knight')
DREAMWORLD: PROSPIT
LAND: LOSAF (LAND OF SWORDS AND FORTITUDE [modeled after WORLD 5 in ATERLIER IRIS 3: GRAND FANTASIA])
CONSORTS: WHITE ARMADILLOS
FETCH MODUS: VOICE COMMAND
STRIFE SPECIBUS: BROOMKIND (starter), HANDLEKIND, GLAIVEKIND (final)

>Be the slant-eyed mad scientist
Hey...that's racist...man...

>Again, I'm sorry. Be the aspiring medic. Is that better?
It's okay...I guess...

You are KYLE YAMATO. You were born on the third of January and you grew up in a HOUSE in a CUL-DE-SAC with your SIS in the city of HONOLULU in HAWAII. Your interests include a rather MORBID FASCINATION with DISSECTING and EXAMINING FIRSTHAND the INNARDS of SMALL CRITTERS though you make sure they are already dead before you take them home since you’re SQUICKED at the idea of killing anything larger than a bug. Sure you’ve dissected FROGS before at school and FISH at home, but it got BORING pretty quick. You wanted to move on to other creatures, and the best ones you can get are often ROADKILL—and you don’t come across those often enough. Your SIS gets driven up the walls whenever she spots you taking home dead critters and would almost immediately ENGAGE you in a STRIFE. She has WON more times than you. Of course, how could she not when she’s a fucking MARTIAL ARTS INSTRUCTOR?

When you get dissecting, you often CUT OFF various body parts that interest you and keep them in tiny jars filled with formaldehyde. The rest of the carcass is then disposed by either simply DUMPING it in the garbage, or BURNING it the fireplace. Though the latter method leaves a NASTY STENCH afterwards, which makes a cue for your Sis to come in running and AGGRIEVE you. It’s a good thing you’ve learned how to FIX YOURSELF afterwards as she gets FIERCER every round. You blame her SWORD SWINGING INTERNET PAL for this.

Also, on the time you spend not cutting dead things open, you like to study different kinds of MEDICINE and HEALING PRACTICES which include the DUBIOUS and the UNORTHODOX—most of your shelf space is filled with books of such subjects. Your room has EDUCATIONAL POSTERS AND CHARTS displaying CROSS SECTION ILLUSTRATIONS of several ANIMAL and HUMAN BODIES along with the occasional ones about THE SPIRITUAL, MEDITATION, AND ZEN. You like taking long aimless STROLLS around your neighborhood and PRACTICE TAI-CHI you lower your STRESS you get from strifing. In your QUIET moments when not on the computer or PS3, you also sit down to either MEDITATE to KEEP YOUR CHAKRAS AT A HEALTHY BALANCED LEVEL, play some soothing notes on your WOODEN FLUTE, or lie down and take nice long NAPS. You’ve taken to growing your own HERBAL GARDEN in you backyard for EASILY ACCESSIBLE NATURAL REMEDIES as you don’t trust most of the stuff that is sold OVER THE COUNTER; plus, it SAVES MONEY and helps AVOID DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENTS.

Your chumhandle is tortureAlliviated and you speak and type…in a very…mellow…and relaxed…manner. Your shirt has a decal of a MEDICAL CROSS that is the same color as your typing font. Your MAC’s web browser is TRISMEGISTUS. Your SYLLADEX FETCH MODUS is OPERATION. Instead of having multiple cards, you have one large card modeled after said game that has multiple slots that CONFORM to the shape of whatever item placed in them. To retrieve at item, you have to take it out of a slot using the included TWEEZERS. It takes extreme PRECISION and CONTROL to keep your HAND from SHAKING as you try to take out your item because SETTING OFF OPERATION SAM’S NOSE renders all the items on whole board SEALED AND UNAVAILABLE FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES before opening up again. Good thing your dissections helped in learning how to keep your hands steady. Your STRIFE ABSTRATA is allocated to FISTKIND and later to NUNCHUCKKIND due to you having PICKED UP some moves from your Sis during your STRIFE SESSIONS.

SUMMARY:
NAME: KYLE YAMATO
AGE: THIRTEEN
BIRTHDAY: JANUARY 3, 1996
RESIDENCE: HONOLULU, HAWAII
GUARDIAN: SIS
SHIRT SYMBOL: LIGHT INDIGO MEDICAL CROSS
INSTRUMENT: SHAKUHACHI (Japanese wooden flute)
PESTERCHUM HANDLE: tortureAlliviated
COLOR: #4738CB/ 71, 56, 203
TYPING STYLE: Proper grammar and syntax. Doesn’t capitalize the beginning letter of each sentence. Sentences are choppy with ellipses in between one or few words. Most likely to speak slowly in a vocal conversation.
WEB BROWSER: TRISMEGISTUS (From ‘Hermes Trismegistus’—a syncretic combination of the Greek ‘Hermes’ and the Egyptian ‘Thoth’)
TITLE: THIEF OF DOOM
DREAMWORLD: DERSE
LAND: LOFAL (LAND OF FOG AND LOTUSES)
CONSORTS: PURPLE OTTERS
FETCH MODUS: OPERATION
STRIFE SPECIBUS: FISTKIND, NUNCHUCKKIND

**Never** · 05-19-2012, 11:20 AM

Updating an older fanchar.

(Normal, God Tier below in spoilers)
Your name is SAGA HARTMAN, and you are extremely fond of the art of VERBAL COMMUNICATION.

That doesn't mean that you're GOOD AT IT, however. In fact, you're RATHER SHY, not to mention QUIET. But though you are held back by this, you love GIVING ADVICE ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD SAY, especially for SPEECHES. You're planning on eventually becoming the PERSONAL SPEECH WRITER TO THE PRESIDENT, so all the information that you hold should be valuable. And it is, most of the time. There have been a few ISOLATED INCIDENTS where your advice WASN'T VERY GOOD, but that was in the past and you've resolved not to put those words in someone's mouth ever again.

You currently live in a small town in southern OREGON with your Step-MUM in a small TRAILER PARK near your school, or at least the one you're going to for now. MUM always wanted the best for you, so she will not hesitate to MOVE to find you BETTER SCHOOLING after bad things happen, or if a PRESTIGIOUS ACADEMY is accepting new students. More often than not, you'll PACK UP AND MOVE to wherever the better school is. You've SEEN A LOT this way, and since MUM is a WRITER for a TRAVEL AGENCY, this is also beneficial to her line of work as well.

There's certainly sad bits to your life too, yes, but with your fairly recently acquired NEW COMPUTER, a lot of OLD FRIENDS from all over the country have found their way back to you, which has made a lot of the sad bits go away. You're getting PRETTY GOOD at programming it as well, and prefer to use the included VOICE RECOGNITION SOFTWARE you've improved upon as opposed to the keyboard when you're not TINKERING WITH CODE or SENDING CAPTCHAS.

Your favorite place you've been so far was JAPAN. During your last SPRING BREAK, your MUM took you there for your BIRTHDAY. Your favorite part of the trip was seeing the CHERRY TREES BLOOM, and you bought your favorite shirt at a seasonal store that was probably a TOURIST TRAP, considering how EXPENSIVE it was. You're not OBSESSED with the country, though you like the scenery and still know how to say 'where is the restroom' in Japanese.

Other than all that information on your life, you are GENERALLY VERY SWEET AND KIND to the point of DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHO CAN'T STAND NICENESS. Note that when you WANT SOMETHING, you TEND TO GET IT thanks to your WAY WITH WORDS, though you usually end up APOLOGIZING for these SHENANIGANS later, whether you are caught or not. You can be EQUALLY AS GENEROUS, however, so you figure you have at least NEUTRAL KARMA. In addition, you have a great desire to PLEASE THE HIGHER UPS, while still APPRECIATING THE SMALL FOLK. Despite all your generosity and niceness, you still can't seem to comprehend that ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, and can be OVERLY TRUSTING OF MERE APOLOGIES.

Your FETCH MODUS is currently set to the Voicebox Modus, which requires you to SAY A CODE WORD TO RETRIEVE THE ITEM. The more important to the plot the item is, the longer the word. You're just praying at this point that you don't accidentally captchalogue anything HYPERCRITICAL, lest you wind up with THAT ONE WORD THAT TAKES THREE YEARS TO SAY as a code word.

Your Strife Specubus is currently set to staffKind, and it packs a whallop!

Your Chumhandle is audioBarometer and you use voice recognition software so you cannot use punctuation at all which dissapoints you very much because intonation is everything

If you were to join a Sburb session, which is moderately likely to happen, you would be the Maid of Breath in The Land of Storms and Sunshine (LoSaS), with your consorts being dark cyan Legless Lizards, and your Denizen is Typheus.

God Tier:

**baxbound** · 05-29-2012, 04:14 PM

==>
Be the Nerdy Pretentious Spiky Haired Prick

I'm fine with nerdy and spiky haired, but pretentious prick? Come now.

==>
Be the Nerdy White kid

Better. It's not perfect, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

==>
Enter Name:

Your name is DANY BAKER, and you enjoy long walks on the beach with friends... or at least you WOULD, if you were a SEVERLY CLICHED PERSON.

Instead, you find yourself to be a FAIRLY BRIGHT and INDEPENDENT individual, if not a tad SLOW at times. You love being CREATIVE, and have a particular fascination for the ARTS.

You have quite the wide variety of interests, like any self conscious teenager of your age does. It’s first worth mentioning that you enjoy WRITING and fancy yourself PRETTY DARN DECENT at it. This fondness of writing comes packaged with your natural urge to ROLEPLAY. You are also known by your friends as having a SUPRISINGLY GOOD ACTING VOICE, and as such have begun to enter the wonderful world of THEATRE. You enjoy DRAWING, but don’t consider yourself very good by any means, especially compared to the things you see while browsing the WEB, which you tend to do a lot. You also have a great appreciation of ANIMATION, and respect animators and other artists a great deal.

When it comes to recreation, you can never go wrong with VIDEO GAMES.
You are a PC GAMER at heart, and you love the platform more than any other. Although you enjoy many big wig video game productions from companies like VALVE, BETHESDA, and UBISOFT, you find the notion of INDEPENDENT GAMES to be quite a fair bit more enthusing. If anyone wants a game to suitor their particular needs, you will almost always have a game in mind that is RIGHT UP THEIR ALLEY, and often they are indie games that they NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED.

Bundled with your current location in the middle of the ROCKY MOUNTAIN SUBURBS, you find HIKING, MOUNTAIN BIKING, and most importantly, ROCK CLIMBING to be a great way to release stress and get some exercise out in the fresh, crisp, COLORADO air.

Your chumHandle is bohemianBeatnik due to your fondness of the arts and hipster culture that you do so adore.

You speak slowly and deeply, but still occasionally manage to scew
*screw
up from time to time. you kinda forget to capitalize and add some punctuation when you are depressed too… :/

tl;dr:

**Tac** · 06-05-2012, 11:28 PM

==> Be the laid-back stoner.
Heh, I'm not quite a 'stoner' but I guess that works.
==> Alternatively, be the avid skier.
Ha, that's a better one.

Your name is Jack Kheeler. You are 15 years old, and . You dabble in some 'dark' indulgences, like smoking weed and drinking, but it isn't for any deep or dark purposes. You just like having a good time. You are very mellow, and try to avoid fighting and arguing. You would be the kind of person to break up a fight, not to look on and watch. You are the kind of person who hates stuck-up or douchey people. Actually, you don't like a lot of things about people. This is why you only have a small, but close, group of friends. One of your few interests is skiing, though it is your major interest. You log over 100 days a season on the ski hill, and is one of your favorite things to do. Something about the mountain on a good day with good friends just brings out the best in you. Another of your hobbies is playing guitar. It can be a great conversation starter, and is good with the ladies. Music in general, whether listening to it or playing it is something you enjoy. Another, less important hobby of yours is playing video games. A good game can be a long source of entertainment. If you were to get a game to play with your friends, you would become the Mage of Heart, in the Land of Ice and Rhythm (LOIAR)

Your chumhandle is appointedConfider, and you, heh, try to speak with proper grammar.

tl;dr

**Reecer6** · 06-06-2012, 12:06 AM

>Who the heck just stabbed me with their hair?!
Who the hheck do yoou thinnk you are, ssaying I trried to staab yyou?
>Oh, I mean, be the Guy Whom's Hair is a Shank
I guess thatll have to do.

Your name is DANE SCHWINN, and SEALIFE is your life.

Ever since you were born, you have lived at a MARINE OBSERVATION BUILDING, a bit secluded. Your interests include THINGS THAT LIVE UNDER THE SEA, GREAT BRITAIN, and SLIGHTLY ODD FOOTWEAR. In fact, your most prized possession is a SHOE with the UNION FLAG printed on it that has FINS MADE OF CLOTH.

You doodle about FILMING FUNNY SKETCHES but you are BAD AT ACTING. You've sent your ideas to multiple TELEVISION SHOW EXECUTIVES but they have all DECLINED because you are THIRTEEN YEARS OLD.

Your favorite MOVIES are those that are MONOCHROME. You must say, CHARLIE CHAPLIN was the best actor ever.

You aren't limited to LIKING THINGS. You are utterly disgusted by PIERCINGS because nothing that requires you to stick a hole in your body can be good. You DO NOT KEEP UP ON POLITICS because you honestly don't care who runs the USA, even if they were ALIEN HITLER FROM THE SEA. In fact, you might like it, because SEALIFE would be running the nation.

Your chumhandle is oceanicMonocle and you usually speak casually, but sttutter wheen youu get rilled uup.

NEW INFO AND OLD INFO:
Name: Dane Schwinn
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Residence: Off the coast of Little Pleasant Bay, Massachusetts
Birthday: July 14th, 1998
Symbol: Fish
Guardian: Mom
Chumhandle: oceanicMonocle
Strife Specibus: Shoekind
Fetch Modus: Fishing (A fish tank, infinite bait, and fishing rod appears, and each item is in a fish. You must catch the fish to get your item, but don't worry; they're fake fish!
Instrument: French horn
Color: #048BEE
Typing: Doesn't use apostrophes, and when he has more extreme feelings, he repeats many other letters.
Title: Prince of Heat
Dream: Prospit
Land: Land of Brands and Tea

**Silvy** · 06-12-2012, 12:28 PM

>Be the desperate wannabe cool-kid
well hey, that isnt too nice! im not a wannabe! o ^ o!! i am totes cool!

>C'mon girlfriend, no one's gonna believe THAT. Just introduce yourself already!
ffffffffffine, but ill remembe rthat!

Your name is KITE ATKINS, and you're turning 17 in a MONTH so you're just going to go ahead and say you're 17, because fuck being 16.

Your BIRTHDAY, why on the topic, is coming up pretty soon! JULY 29TH, aw yeah. You currently live in the SOUTH-EASTERN portion of the USA, GEORGIA, to be specific. Where exactly remains a mystery. (No, you just never bothered to learn your address.)

Being someone as TOTALLY RADICAL as yourself is tiring, sometimes. You tend to PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG (see: Go on computer), and drink LOTS OF TOTALLY DANGEROUS ALCOHOL (see: Sweet Tea). Okay, so you don't actually go out and party too much. You don't really go out at all, actually. You still throw some TOTALLY SWEET parties with yourself, though. Noone can stop you. Cannot be tamed, YOLO, and such, right? Whatever popular kids are into nowadays.

You, however, aren't too into all that junk (actually, it's pretty fucking fantastic but thats just because its a GREAT BIG JOKE to you), and instead prefer to DRAW and PAINT, sometimes. You don't like to PAINT as much, since painting is hard and you are butts at it. You like to think you DRAW at least semi-decently, in a CARTOONISH style, which is great. You, of course, can draw in a VARIETY of styles, from REALISM to whatever the fuck you want to draw in, which can cause a lot of CONFUSION to your friends on what actually is your DRAWING STYLE. You do, however, wish to someday actually DO something with your ART, though, so, you keep trying! Maybe someday you'll go somewhere with it!

On a totally different-yet-somewhat-similar topic, you tend to also enjoy somewhat weird things! And by that, you mean, you're a total YU-GI-OH nerd, and POKEMON nerd, and DISNEY, and ANIMATION, and OWLS are pretty great too. Wow you love OWLS. OWLS are literally like THE CUTEST THING EVER, at least to you. You guess some people find them CREEPY? Oh well.

But, whoever finds them creepy are just waitin for a good WHACK across the back of their head with your trusty BROOM! Which sounds really silly, but, it's a dangerous weapon! You think. You've equipped it to your STRIFE SPECIBUS anyways. So, yeah. Whatevs. It helps you look like you're working, when your MOM comes around!

You've lived with your MOM for as long as you can remember, and, thankfully, the two of you get along pretty gosh-darned well! She always tries to get you to GET OFF OF THE COMPUTER, but, most of the time, it doesn't end up working. You've got a lot of FRIENDS on the computer! They NEED you!!! (Okay, not really, but thats what you tell your MOM if she asks.)

Speaking of the computer, you do go on QUITE A LOT. By that you mean, WAY TOO MUCH. You're on pretty much ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, basically. While on, though, you like to use PESTERCHUM! It's a cute little program, and it's always been there for you, whether you want it to or not! Anyways, while on PESTERCHUM, you go by the tag obsessiveOwl, and you tend to type in a pretty gosh darned relxad styel, and havnt bothered to fix ur typos in a loong time. th way you type changes every once in a while tho, depnding on your mood!!! you also dont tend to cuss, either, unless you know th person ur talkin 2 p well.

If you were ever to get your hands on that one SBURB game you've been hearing about, you'd PROBABLY be the MAID OF DREAMS within the LAND OF INK AND NOIR, with SUSPICIOUS BLACK MICE as your consorts to help you along! Weird.

TL;DR

**icyKingpin** · 06-13-2012, 05:17 PM

>Be talentless-self inser-

F()R THE LOVE ()F G()D WILL Y()U LET ME SLEEP?
Oh shit! Right, will come back later. Just so you know, his name is icyKingpin.

**goldenChevalier** · 06-13-2012, 09:32 PM

Here are my Post-Scratch kids.

I don't know what his class' god-tier garb looks like, so I didn't put it there.

Your name is KINGSTON FALCON. You live with your AUNT in a townhouse in the sunny SAN DIEGO. You have a variety of interests. You volunteer at the local ANIMAL SHELTER on weekends since you love WORKING WITH ANIMALS and hope to someday MAKE A LIVING DOING SO. There were even times when you rescued, took care, and released some whenever and wherever you find them. The walls in your room are decorated with promotional posters from ANIMAL PLANET and THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL; and you’ve watched every single DOCUMENTARY about NATURE AND WILDLIFE they made so far. You also like to study about ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS—your favorite being the ROMAN EMPIRE due to the excitement its historical shenanigans seem to give you. You have taken up COOKING as your Aunt is practically a terror in the kitchen. It makes you wonder how the heck she survived before your PARENTS dropped you off to live with her at age six while they WORKED OVERSEAS (probably living off restaurant and fast food take-outs). You don’t see your her most of the day, even on weekends she usually gets home at night. Nonetheless, you understand since being a POLICE OFFICER/BODYGUARD FOR HIRE isn’t quite as easy as she makes it look, even with more-than-adequate MILITARY experience.

When you get some time off for yourself, you chat it up with your friends on PESTERCHUM or playing SIMULATION GAMES on your computer or WII. And sometimes you would even GO OUTSIDE to relax and do some SKETCHES of the wild NON-HUMAN LOCALS. Oftentimes, you even bring your handy VIDEOCAM and film them like you’re in a documentary yourself; you even do YOUR OWN NARRATIONS, though it can get frustrating when your subject of filming RUNS AWAY the moment they notice you.

During the HOLIDAYS when you have neither school nor volunteer work, you get to VISIT one of your BEST FRIENDS—a boy who lives ALONE on an UNNAMED ISLAND in the middle of the PACIFIC. It became something like a TRADITION ever since you two were small, and it was PRACTICALLY POSSIBLE since you live GEOGRAPHICALLY CLOSE to him…and your Aunt has SPECIAL CONNECTIONS with some FAMOUS PEOPLE due to her side job, thus granting you with SWEET PRIVILEDGES via association. Auntie doesn’t worry; she knows you two boys are IN SAFE HANDS. Other than getting to see and spending time with him by sneaking outside and going on ‘ADVENTURES’ (which mostly involves him running around toting his DUAL FIREARMS and you running behind to keep him from hurting himself), you like to FROLIC with some of the rather STRANGE FAUNA inhabiting the island. Such interactions garner an ASTONISHING REACTION from your friend, saying that the BEASTS could at any time, TURN ON YOU and DEVOUR YOUR SOFT TASTY HUMAN FLESH. While it’s mostly TRUE, you can’t help but feel COMPLACENT around some of them; like those WEIRD TINY FLYING BOVINES that tend to GATHER AROUND YOU IN A SWARM AND NUZZLE AGAINST YOU IN AN AFFECTIONATE MANNER. And that HERD OF CENTAURIAN CREATURES isn’t so bad once you get on their good side.

Your chumhandle is tamerisAnimalis any you tend to incor’prate yer strange speakin’ accent when yoo type. Your signature shirt has a decal of a TOPAZ-COLORED PAW PRINT in the middle. Your web browser is BALDUR. Your FETCH MODUS is a neat FILE CABINET type you got as a birthday present from your parents when you hit thirteen a couple of years ago. It’s pretty easy to use since it involves no annoying and WACKY HIJINKS like most other modi and is very ORGANIZED; captchalogued items are arranged ALPHABETICALLY and stored in a FOLDER in one of the cabinets DRAWERS, and when you’re ready to use an item, only a quick search and the card holding your desired item is readily in your hands. The only downside to this is that it gets TEDIOUS the more items you captchalogue. Your preferred STRIFE ABSTRATA is POLEKIND since you don’t like the idea of killing anything—a few SHARP BLOWS should be enough for anyone to learn their lesson.

SUMMARY:
NAME: KINGSTON FALCON A.K.A “KING”
AGE: FIFTEEN
BIRTHDAY: POSSIBLY JANUARY 1, 1996
RESIDENCE: SAN DIEGO, CA
GUARDIAN: AUNT
SHIRT SYMBOL: TOPAZ PAW PRINT
PESTERCHUM HANDLE: tamerisAnimalis
COLOR: #EEAD03/ 238, 173, 3
TYPING STYLE: Correct grammar and syntax. Doesn’t capitalize the beginning of sentences. Lot’s of intentional spelling errors due to preference of incorporating speaking accent.
WEB BROWSER: BALDUR
TITLE: MAGE OF BLOOD
DREAMWORLD: PROSPIT
LAND: LOGAR (LAND OF GRAVES AND RADON)
CONSORTS: NONEXISTENT (POSSIBLY ARMADILLOS)
FETCH MODUS: FILE CABINET
STRIFE SPECIBUS: POLEKIND

Your name is KARI YAMATO and you are ONE of the ONLY HUMANS left on earth, and one of the only TOO FEW FEMALES IN HUMAN EXISTENCE, but you don’t know that since you haven’t met any; for all you know, you could be the only one left. You live with NO ONE but a SEEMINGLY SENTIENT ROBOT modeled after your MALE ANCESTOR in a two story house on a sturdy artificially made CIRCULAR FLOATING LAWN that drifts lazily along the gentle waves of the NEVERENDING OCEAN that covers the entire planet. For the fifteen years that is pretty much your entire life so far, you were raised by said robot. And it’s the closest thing you have to HUMAN INTERACTION and the closest you can be with your ancestor who you sometimes fondly regard as an ELDER BROTHER...even if he’s just a robot. Alright, we’re done with sad stuff. Let’s move on the important parts.

Your multitude of interests include a passion for ROMANTIC ACTION FILMS that borders on an OBSSESSION. You just can’t resist staring at those SWEATY MUSCULAR LEADING MEN who FIGHT FOR LOVE, TRUTH, and JUSTICE (with a bit of VENGEANCE) with a dreamy look in your eyes. You often wish they’d come out of the HD flatscreen TV and whisk you off to parts unknown until you REMEMBER YOUR CURRENT SITUATION and GET DEPRESSED. You like practicing MARTIAL ARTS as you have seen on OLD BOOKS and OTHER VIDEOS long before your discovery of “ROMACTS” as it keeps you active and ‘un-bored’. You could only practice in your BASEMENT as your ANCESTORBOT never, and I mean NEVER, allows you out of the house and into the LAWN where there’s more room. He would BLOCK you at every attempt you make, and going out through any WINDOWS were out of the question as he ALWAYS seems to know when your going to try and will be standing in your way in a FLASH. It really GRINDS YOUR GEARS sometimes and the two of you end up engaging each other in a STRIFE. One or both would either go empty hand or break out their STRIFE SPECIBUS, but either way, you ULTIMATELY end up LOSING and your house a GIANT MESS. Other days, you like playing STRATEGIC TRADITIONAL BOARD GAMES with Ancestorbot—games like, CHESS, MAHJONG, BACKGAMMON, BATTLESHIP, and MONOPOLY. Whenever you WIN, you tend to JUMP and FLAIL in celebration over the fact that you’ve BEATEN a computer-brained android. He’s probably just LETTING you win though, but you’re too happy to suspect such a thing. When you’re not in the mood for either playing games or getting on your computer, you like to go up to the ATTIC and READ BOOKS IN THE LAMPLIGHT. It was there you learned about your REAL ancestor: a prolific DOCTOR who wrote dozens of MANUALS on the side. Said manuals contain instructions for (A) helpful MAKE-IT-YOURSELF cures and remedies using easily-accessible HOUSEHOLD INGREDIENTS, (B) growing your own NATURAL PHARMACY, (C) TIPS AND TRICKS on how to deal with injuries and ailments, (D) improving the SPIRITUAL ASPECT of you life, and (E) how to AVOID harmful afflictions in the first place. These manuals are a great help to you seeing that you’re still ALIVE despite your brutal strifes with your guardian though he often fixes you up himself afterwards as a form of apology, or so it seems.

While living with a robot is good and all, sometimes you can’t help but get LONELY and begin wishing there were OTHERS you could talk to. Being the last human on earth fucking sucks! Talking about your feelings to your Ancestorbot may be an option, but it’s not quite the same since robots, the last time you checked, have no feelings being made of metal and circuits and all. But then, just as you were about to once again sink into DEPRESSION, you get a MESSAGE on your computer from some STRANGE source telling you to INSTALL some APPLICATION that came with it. Now, you were taught never to trust anything given to you by STRANGERS so you didn’t trust it at first since you have absolutely no clue what the application does. However, your curiosity overrides caution and you install the app anyway. It turns out to be some WEIRD CHATTING PROGRAM, which seems harmless enough. You decide on a HANDLE and after a quick look-up on the brief tutorial, you open a MEMO asking if there are OTHER HUMANS out there. When you get not just ONE, but A FEW responses, you nearly CRY IN JOY. You’re not so ALONE after all. Some time later, MORE HANDLES get added to your LIST OF CHATMATES and you’re ECSTATIC that you get to have more FRIENDS…even if it’s only on the computer and you can’t exactly see their faces, but hey, it’s better than nothing.

Other things you like to do in your alone time are FOLDING COLORFUL PAPER ART, PLAYING OLD SCHOOL RPG’s, and talking to that CHEESEY YELLOW TEXT GUY WHO LIKES ANIMALS AND TYPES FUNNY. But who are you to talk? You type funny too!

Your handle is gallantlyCharming and u lyk 2 type wid shorthnd nd txtspk bcoz its easier nd fastr dat way. Your favorite white tanktop is decorated with an image of a bright violet fan. Your browser is MNEMOSYNE. Your fetch modus is WHEEL OF FORTUNE—captchalogued items are placed on a wheel, which you have to SPIN in order to use them. The sad part is that you DON’T ALWAYS GET THE ITEM YOU WANT since what you get depends on which part of the wheel gets stopped by the arrow on top. If you land on an empty space, you get ANOTHER TRY. But land on any of the FOUR BLACK SPACES and the wheel along with your stuff get locked for about two minutes before you get yet another try. And coincidentally, your STRIFE ABSTRATA is allocated to 2xFANKIND. Those folding fans aren’t just for tandem aesthetics with your martial arts; these fans are made of METAL and the edges are SHARPENED for SLICING anything unlucky enough to get on the business end, which make them DEADLY INDEED. They are horrible for helping regulate body temperature though. You got them along with your modus from the PRESENT you retrieved from the UNDERGROUND BIRTHDAY VAULT. Every year on your birthday, you and Ancestorbot trek down further from the basement into a large CHAMBER under your house. Built on the walls are a series of SMALL VAULTS containing your GIFTS that you got and will get on your birthday. Once you retrieve your present on one vault a COUNTDOWN will start on the other next to it, counting down to your next birthday. The most common items you get are CLOTHES with other useful knick-knacks along with it. You kind of feel flattered at how thoughtful your ancestor was to have commissioned something like this for you long ago(along with his robot counterpart), yet at the same time, you wonder why there are only EIGHTEEN vaults.

SUMMARY:
NAME: HIKARI YAMATO A.K.A “KARI”
AGE: FIFTEEN
BIRTHDAY: PROBABLY JANUARY 3, [YEAR WITHELD]
RESIDENCE: INDEFINITE. DRIFTING ALONG THE OCEAN ON A RESIDENTIAL UNIT BUILT ON A BUOYANT PLATFORM
GUARDIAN: ANCESTORBOT (or KYLEBOT/DOCBOT/BROBOT ver. 1.0)
SHIRT SYMBOL: BRIGHT VIOLET FAN
CHAT CLIENT HANDLE: gallantlyCharming
COLOR: #CC00FF/ 204, 0, 255
TYPING STYLE: Has a habit of using textspeak and shorthand typing. Takes off the vowels from some words. Massive spelling errors, but grammar is acceptable. Uses proper spelling when serious.
WEB BROWSER: MNEMOSYNE
TITLE: SYLPH OF MIND
DREAMWORLD: DERSE
LAND: LOUAA (LAND OF URNS AND ARGON)
CONSORTS: NONEXISTENT (PROBABLY OTTERS)
FETCH MODUS: WHEEL OF FORTUNE
STRIFE SPECIBUS: 2XFANKIND

**Pennwick** · 06-14-2012, 02:41 AM

>Introduce yourself

In Technicolor!

Your name is Daniel and you have no idea what a Sburb is.

You have a variety of INTERESTS many of them relating to OLD THINGS. But not too old. Bones and ancient temples are for old people. You fancy older methods of locomotion, in particular TRAINS and can occasionally be seen SKULKING around train yards hunting your prey. You also enjoy old CLOCKWORK. You are exceptional at dismantling these devices. Sometimes you refuse to talk about putting them back together. When not distracted by these pastimes you occasionally enjoy a good puzzle, PICROSS being one of your favorites.

If there is anything magical in this world it is likely your COMPUTER which was likely built in the CRETACEOUS PERIOD or shortly after. It takes 6 1/2 inch floppy disks though as of late you have purchased an external drive which allows it to read 3 1/2 discs. The mating call of your DAIL-UP modem is a sound you prefer to avoid. As such you're unlikely to be online for pesterchumming but when you do you go by the handle railChaser (#808080). Some people say you are odd for not using abbreviations ever but you do not think this a quirk worth mentioning.

Fortunately you can still play the best game of all time. PROBLEM SLEUTH. You love it and its spinoff's to bits. If there was anything that could come close to matching your love of trains this would be it. In fact up until a few years ago your obsession with being HARDBOILED may have been greater than your desire for life ON DA RAILZ. As such your life still holds a few remnants of those years.

Your Strife Specibus is currently somewhat glitched. Its set up for GUNKIND but you swear that it sucks up your keys too. You have in fact lost quite a few items to your SLEUTH(tm) MODUS. You have 5 slots which work as normal similar to the popular Index Modus. You also have 3 other slots. Weapon, which can suck up your keys if you're not especially careful with it. Pocket, which according to the manual you lost long ago functions as a stack with 1 slot. And Hat. You thought you were so cool sticking some CANDY CORN in there but when you lost your hat on a particularly windy day you've been unable to access it. Sadly this not only left you hatless but as a side effect any candy corn you try to gather vanishes. You live a cursed candy cornless life.

**baxbound** · 06-17-2012, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by baxbound

Originally Posted by Tac

Why did it take me so long to realize that you used my mage base? :o

I'm sorta happy that people are using my base. I've had some people ask to use it already.

So thanks bro. Nice to see people like it.

**electronicgoat** · 06-22-2012, 02:19 AM

>Be the marksman.

Your name is JD, last of the OGs.

>Cut the shit.

Your name is Jason Dean. You are 13 years of age, and as such pertain a large amount of your time with frivolous and unproductive interests.

You could be considered to be a bit of a GUN NUT, and have yourself a small little firing range for testing handguns and the like, which gives you a feeling of indescribable satisfaction. You enjoy firing REVOLVERS the most, and have developed quite a good skill with the 6-shot handgun, and thus have your main STRIFE SPECIBUS set to reflect this. When you are not spending time firing at targets like a maniac, you also enjoy watching many SPY and ACTION movies, especially BOND MOVIES and the OCEANS series. You are easily taken aback by how amazing these movies are, and how smooth these criminals get.

You also have a passing interest in pyrotechnics, detonation equipment, and explosions. You are amazed by the engulfing, dramatic, extreme actions of an explosion, but unfortunately are not given the funding to support this interest from your FATHER, who is a quite old and rich seaman. He is more often captaining a ship than he is at home, which is an inconvenience that continues to get more and more extreme. Often times he will show up, take a bottle of whiskey, leave strange, snarky, sarcastic notes, and be gone, moving as fast as THUNDER. It's often ominous, and on the occasion that you intercept his path, this often results in a RATHER DRAMATIC SHOWDOWN, which you always lose, and even with your best revolver you cannot match his speed.

Despite your generally explosive and loud interests, you tend to be a rather simple and logical fellow, if even a bit dull, dedicated to whatever cause you set yourself to. You have recently taken up playing some STRATEGY GAMES on your computer which you find to be a more productive use of your time than plotting small explosions or firing ammo endlessly into targets. You have also taken up using Pesterchum, and now eagerly await the beta of the game SBURB.

Your chumhandle is gloriousGunslinger and you talk plainly, bluntly, and to the damned point.

**Marshmellow** · 06-23-2012, 08:09 PM

Hey guys fanraces stopped being popular like months ago but I finally jumped on the bandwagon and finished mine more or less.

So yeah this is your crash course on Lurkers lookit that fancy titling aw yeah

The generic Lurker looks something like this.

Items of note: Long, elf-like ears, large eyes with black sclera and white pupils, and finally the hair. Lurker hair comes in a variety of pastel colors in every style you can imagine.

Physically, Lurkers are frail creatures, partly due to biology and partly their culture. The average lurker is weaker than the average human, more easily injured, and likely to be less healthy. The average lurker has eyesight and hearing many times superior to that of a human's, however, and their brains are better capable of sorting out and processing sensory information.

Lurkers are essentially an entire alien race of social shut ins. All Lurkers live alone, such that the mere knowledge of another Lurker within close proximity is enough to make one physically uncomfortable. Some occasions may necessitate a physical meeting, but these instances are rare; for the most part all Lurker interaction occurs via the internet.

Lurker technology is decades more advanced than human technology, and seems to exist for the sole purpose of allowing Lurkers to live out their lives without interacting with others of their kind. They have the capability to reproduce biologically, however, nearly all Lurker children are the result of cloning in one of their planet's monolithic factories before being carted off to their own little cellblock and raised by robotic drones.

Lurkers are lacking in caste, class, or other arbitrary divisions, and are all theoretically equal. In practice, however, their virtual social interactions tend to produce a hierarchy, where one's influence tends to be dependent on their number of 'followers.' Most Lurkers tend toward the bottom of that hierarchy but there are a few Lurkers that are well known throughout the planet.

Lurkers are well aware of several other races that exist around them, and often partake in their popular culture, as in movies, games, and the like. The other races of their galaxy however are only dimly aware of the Lurkers existence, if at all, which is a good thing because the Lurkers would probably have little to defend themselves with against an alien invasion.

Given a few more generations, it is expected that the Lurkers will evolve beyond the physical realm entirely and become purely mental entities that exist solely on the net. This is, of course, assuming they make it through that last stretch between corporeal existence and a technologically ascended one and don't get blown out of existence entirely by a rain of apocalyptic meteors.

**freaki** · 06-30-2012, 09:31 AM

>>Be the shameless self-insert
yeah, sure- I've got no Problem with that

Your name is ALEX BELCHER, and your chumhandle is killingBiosciences
You are just REALLY DAMN CHILL, at least, that's how everyone else sees you. Emotionally, you are A BIT OF A TRAINWRECK, but you are still just chill as fuck. You like to spend most of your day LYING OR SITTING DOWN, partially because you're LAZY, partially because you are just that RELAXED. you spend more time there since your best friend and canine comrade Benny died, because you now have no reason to go for a walk.

Your cousin Craig has introduced you to SBURB, which you are going to give a go- it sounds right up your alley, being an avid gamer and all.

despite your shirt, which clearly depicts a beer bottle, you actually have an ADDICTION TO CAFFEINE- this comes as a surprise to anyone familiar with your chilled-out nature, but you are rarely seen without some sort of caffeinated beverage nearby (usually coffee, but sometimes coke, pepsi or irn-bru), in fact, you get incredibly STRESSED out when you haven't had caffeine.

you use the LOAD fetch modus, which lets you access whatever you want when you want, but you must wait for a set time after selecting your item before you are able to actually retrieve it- the amount of time depends on the size and mass of the item, so for example, you'll get your mobile phone almost instantly, but you'll have to wait about 30 seconds for your laptop- if you were to capcha your bed and then retrieve it, you'd have to wait for a time comparable to the loading times of early CD-based games. So basically, it's like the ARRAY modus, but not as convenient. of course, you can bypass this by overfilling your modus, but this launches the item at insane speeds, and frankly, you'd rather wait than risk breaking anything delicate.

your title is Lord of Space, and your land is Land of Clouds and Frogs.

**electronicgoat** · 07-09-2012, 04:24 AM

>Be the stupid scientist girl.

Your name is ELLEN DAWSON. You are a fairly normal girl that happens to spend most of her time on COMPUTING AND ROBOTICS, which you have an avid affinity for, though you aren't very good at either. You also enjoy fooling with and repairing a lot of older technology that you have gotten ahold of; sometimes, making working things make you feel better about all your failed robotics projects, though you're not likely to admit it. You also have an interest in SCIENCE in general, and possess some fair knowledge about a breadth of sciences, including a particular curiosity with AQUATIC life, or anything that's really quirky and weird in NATURE, though you rarely actually go outside.
You explore more passing interests in OLD COMPUTER GAMES, which you run on rigs you recovered and set up yourself. Point-and-clicks and text adventures particually fascinate you, and you spend your free time exploring the archives of many computer games made in the 90s. Some would say text adventures have somewhat effected your behavior, but you think that's silly and unfounded. Among the older technology you've recovered is your TRUSTY REVOLVER. You keep it around in case you ever need to practice self-defense; after all, you have a duty to protect your household and property (though there are not many robberies in your home in the suburbs) now that your GRANDPA has fallen ILL. He's deathly sick, and you intend to KEEP IT THAT WAY. Uh, not like that. You mean you want him to stay alive, not still be sick. YOU GET WHAT YOU MEAN. Anyway, you have thus allocated your STRIFE SPECIBUS to be both REVOLVERKIND and FISTKIND, which you got for it's elegance. You used to engage in sparring matches with your grandfather in your youth, before he fell sick.
You also now enjoy spending your time on PESTERCHUM, on which your pestertag is shadyPhronima and you talk in a perfectly mundane and deadpan fashion.

too short, needs to be longer;

**Overlard** · 07-15-2012, 01:53 AM

> Be the conspiracy theorist

Woah there fella, this is all true! The government is hiding a lot of stuff!

> Be completely rational

Dude I can tell you're still insulting me.

Your name is COLT DUREST. You are one of the few TRUE BELIEVERS. As in, you really love aliens. Stan Lee is ok, but you don't read too many comics. As a young man of 16 YEARS you've got a reputation to uphold amongst your peers.

You live in the DOWNTOWN area of a city, in one of the apartments. Your DAD prefers to call them tenements. You've yet to give enough of a damn to figure out the complete difference between the two, since you've only known one your whole life.

Dad tries to instill a sense of REALISM and HONOR and OTHER MALARKEY into you, usually by telling you great stories about your ancestors. Mostly the ones that were in the military, but sometimes he'll talk about one that built a dam, another that was a highwayman. You like the highwayman story the best, even if he got hung in the end. But mostly you just ignore all these tales of chivalry in a fit of YOUTHFUL REBELLION.

Plus, your real hobby is READING like an absolute fiend. Your friends tend to chastise you about reading so many stories, and you have to admit it makes you look a bit like a dork. Mostly you read about the best thing ever though, ALIENS. You're a major alien supporter, not that any actually seem to exist. You've joined plenty of questionable websites that insist aliens MUST be real. The only reason nobody else seems to believe you is clearly because the GOVERNMENT is trying to cover it all up! As such, you've taken to pointing out to everyone just how the government is clearly manipulating them, often quoting passages from various CONSPIRACY THEORIST tomes you have laying around.

This tends to make you come off as an incredible idiot to anyone with half a brain in their head. But nevertheless, you'll save your "I told you so's" for after the secret is revealed. When not pestering your buddies with half baked ideas involving cover ups, you're generally an ALRIGHT guy. You try to crack jokes in sometimes inappropriate situations and act like what some may refer to as "cool."

You naturally fail miserably at that last one.

Your strife specibus is allocated to aerosolKind. Trust you, you would too if you had to live with your dad. These jokes don't work so well in enforced second person.

Your fetch modus is set as SNAKE EYES. It's rather obvious to most people. Roll a pair of dice and try to land on double one's. This is quite possibly the most infuriating part of your day.

Your chumhandle is informedPioneer and you "At least have the brains to type correctly. Most of the time kinda"

**Thunder Reign** · 07-18-2012, 02:54 AM

hey buddy couple of protips

a) this thread is for HUMAN characters. that is a troll
b) don't post your profile in light grey it's hard to read and makes you stand out, apparently you missed me saying that in the other thread even i posted it in bright red

Thread: CHUMROLL 2: (Traditional Rude Joke Regarding Trollslum)

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This one isn't a self-insert, but it's most certainly an insert.

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okay no look just trust me it isn't daria?

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