CHUMROLL 2: (Traditional Rude Joke Regarding Trollslum)

**scientificBlues** · 07-14-2011, 08:08 AM

Thread 1!

Man, don't you wish you could keep track of all these fanmade human (or miscellaneous alien) characters popping up everywhere? Of course you do. We all do. Which is why Doctor Tess took it upon herself to put together an up-to-date fantroll index, with info on all the fantrolls! And then the idea was straight-up ganked by Cleric of Zeal for humans (and miscellaneous aliens). And then I stole his idea and the trollslum's general format, because apparently I'm an unscrupulous bastard. All fancharacters that aren't trolls are welcome here, so don't be afraid to have yours added to the list!

It seems that RPing is the hip and cool thing to do here, so it'd be super awesome if you stuck around to join in the fun! (But you don't have to! Don't be afraid to post your characters here if you don't want to roleplay, we want to see them!!)

Additions to the Chumroll should include at least most of the following information:
- chumhandle
- text color
- reference picture
- personality and interests
- shirt symbol, weapon, guardian and other similar details

A few notes! Please read these before you start posting profiles. (PLEASE.)

- Please make your character's chumhandle clear in your profile, since that's how I organise them.
- If you're updating an old profile, feel free to repost it if your old profile was in an old thread. If the old profile's in the current thread, just edit the post. But please make it clear that the profile you're posting is a repost, especially if the handle has changed!
- Once you've got an SBURB session all set up, or at least mostly, make a thread for it! It helps keep clutter out of this one.
- At least try to keep to what we know about canon. That's why we're here, after all, to play in the Homestuck universe!
- At the same time, don't go and just flat-out copy a canon character, or someone else's character! That's not cool. Try to be original!
- If I haven't updated the list since you posted your profile, don't be all buggin' me because yours isn't up here yet. My update schedule is kind of unpredictable, and I'll get around to it eventually! Just be patient.
- Please don't spoiler new profiles! There's a good chance I'll miss them if you do.
- And please tell me if I do miss one! Or if I make any other mistakes. I'm not perfect! Neither were the people who wrote the bulk of this post before I swiped it and shaved off the serial numbers!
- Mostly, have fun!! I cannot stress this enough. You are presumably here to enjoy yourself with pretendy fun-time games, everything else is secondary. If you're not having fun, something's wrong there!

Characters are catalogued in alphabetical order by chumhandle.
Current character count: ~220!

If I have missed a character, please repost their bio or a link to their bio in an old thread and I will add them!
If you want to post an updated version of your character's bio, please go ahead and I'll update that link ASAP.

IF YOU MISSPELL YOUR CHARACTER'S CHUMHANDLE, I WILL COPY YOUR SPELLING. I don't know whether the misspellings are intentional or not, and best to err on the side of caution.
Posts without chumhandles won't be added.
Profiles entirely in spoilers won't be added either! It's super-easy for me to miss those!

Chumhandles

And the nonhumans!

--- !!RESOURCES FOR MAKING ALL SORTS OF FANCY SHIT!! ---

Art Index

***RIPPED RESOURCES LIKE WOAH***
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/Anti2/Homestuck/Rips/
^^^ This includes the most up-to-date instance of the sprite sheet! Use it! ^^^

MACHINERY FOR SGRUB, MISC

KINGS, QUEENS, AND GRIST

**scientificBlues** · 07-14-2011, 08:09 AM

It's been over five weeks since the last bit of talk about restarting the thread, so I figured I might as well go ahead and plow through the backlog. If I missed you or misspelled something, please let me know - maintenance/editing work is a joy for me, giving me something to do is much appreciated.

You can also give me something to do by posting new characters. Just putting that out there.

I am cutting the ceremonial CAUTION tape, post away in the knowledge that I take no responsibility for any injuries you may inflict upon yourselves or each other in the course of posting here.

**Dicidius** · 07-14-2011, 11:51 AM

==> Be the gu-OH GOD, THE HAIR!

H-Hay, no fair! 8[

Your name is Nick Slater but most of your friends call you patient #14223.
From an early age you have had visions of a strange world and because of that you went to a correctional facility up until today, you are now 20 years old and as a special thanks for your recent change in behavior and assisting the staff you where finally allowed to get a copy of a game, you cannot wait for the pre-allotted time that you can use the computer because you cannot wait to play it with your friends.

You have a variety of interests but as you live in a Correctional Facility you cannot play out half of your interests, your stuck with only two which are your computer and painting. You have several friends online that you hold more dear than anyone at the hospital. You go by the chumhandle gigglingGalaxy, Y-You beging your speaking with a stutter and end it with a emote which resembles your glasses. 8]

Because of your rambunctious past and outbursts you used to get into strife battles with the workers at the facility, as you where stuck there all you have been able to obtain is ShoeKind. Your old ScissorKind strife card was taken off you when you first where taken in along with most of your old personal belongings.

Info Card:

[He's very rough around the edges but he's been rotting in my designs folder for a long time now. Since we have a new Chumroll decided to throw him up here.]

**Pootporri** · 07-14-2011, 02:57 PM

>Be the shameless self insert.

Which one? There are thousands.

>The one that goes by Pootporri on the forums. That one.

Okay!

Your CHUMHANDLE is petticoatPartisan and your heartt is tin he right place, butoyuir fingers dont hit hteu right keytsw.............. ):

((Feedback would be appreciated thxs u))

**Dicidius** · 07-14-2011, 03:09 PM

Your character is bloomin' awesome but the sprites legs weird me out. I think there supposed to be like, the cowboy jeans/spats things but it just looks odd to me.

**Pootporri** · 07-14-2011, 03:20 PM

skinny jeans & high tops

**Dicidius** · 07-14-2011, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Pootporri

skinny jeans & high tops

I know what your going for but I just picture her walking like the comedic "I just rode a horse with no saddle" thing XD

**Pootporri** · 07-14-2011, 03:36 PM

i dont see how they look that bad, given standard sprite anatomy and all, but alright. thanks.

**Dicidius** · 07-14-2011, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by Pootporri

i dont see how they look that bad, given standard sprite anatomy and all, but alright. thanks.

It's not that they're bad, I just think they look a bit weird. I'm trying not to sound mean when I say this

**Quiskiver** · 07-14-2011, 08:13 PM

That is one interesting self insert, like her~

**Cliff_Racer** · 07-16-2011, 01:10 AM

Alright so since this thread gets NO TRAFFIC AT ALL I'm just gonna put these two in convenient spoilers

Anne Pantmym / thricePeriods

Patrice Pone / pataPon

( also i really love those glasses cant you tell??????? )

**scientificBlues** · 07-16-2011, 01:34 AM

Originally Posted by Dicidius

==> Be the gu-OH GOD, THE HAIR!

Dicidius, it looks like gigglingGalaxy shares a sprite with your post of trustedPsychopath - should I replace TP with GG as an update of the character, or would you like 'em kept seperate?

Originally Posted by Pootporri

((Feedback would be appreciated thxs u))

I think you should be Abraham Lincoln all the time. I'm gonna echo there being something that is maybe slightly off on the legs, and I think it's to do with the inner curve of the right leg, but I am not especially artsy so I can't really nail it down more than that. It doesn't really super-stick out to me, though, so you could probably leave it alone if you'd rather not prod at it.

Originally Posted by Cliff_Racer

Alright so since this thread gets NO TRAFFIC AT ALL I'm just gonna put these two in convenient spoilers

Originally Posted by scientificBlues

Please don't spoiler new profiles!

wrist slap (but otherwise excellent!)

**Dicidius** · 07-16-2011, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by scientificBlues

Dicidius, it looks like gigglingGalaxy shares a sprite with your post of trustedPsychopath - should I replace TP with GG as an update of the character, or would you like 'em kept seperate?

Oh, yes. I much preffer GG to TP, can't even remember making him.

**Belonoid Anoesis** · 07-16-2011, 10:40 AM

> Introduce yourself, you clumsy ink splatter.

--}===> One more form of rudeness and I will scribble your face with a red pen. I'm a writer!

> Sorry then. Be the writer.

--}===> Thank you.

Hero Mode in the spoiler below:

You are INK SPLATTER CAINE GRENIER.

You are currently a few months away from celebrating your 23rd BIRTHDAY on OCTOBER 21st. As you enter the medium in a Hero Mode state, you wear a LONG-SLEEVED BLUE T-SHIRT with a certain SHIELD crest, a pair of BLACK pants and BROWN SHOES. Your hairstyle is quite SLOPPY.

You spend your life in an apartment ALONE, but you have contact via Internet with your OLD. Your UNCLE and AUNT died recently and your parents passed away a long time ago, in which your MOTHER ceased living moments after giving birth to you and your FATHER died after being involved in a road accident when you were 6 YEARS OLD. Upon his death, it was hard time for you and yet you were just young. Luckily, your LATE UNCLE and AUNT who were ALIVE at that time helped you relieve your depressions and told you to be strong.

Due to AUTISM, you don't often talk as much plus a little stutter on your speech. Although, your case isn't reaching at the worst point possible where you can never talk at all. Still, you are prone to acting a little too CHILDISH. Not to even mention you still show HIGH LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY and you are easily agitated, angered, saddened or even sulky. Did you forget talking by yourself in a few occasions? When you're not in these situations, you are mostly acting like a normal person, but wait, don't you have anything that could make you happy? Perhaps you do. You are still capable of communicating with people despite all the flaws you get.

Moving on to INTERESTS, you are mostly FOND of LITERATURE. You like to write SHORT STORIES and occasionally NOVELS in genres of comedy, horror, romance and adventure. You are one of the YOUNGEST writers ever known to your country. Yes, you make a living this way. That's not the only thing you like; You enjoy playing VIDEO GAMES, whether on computer or not. Just recently, you bought an interesting VISUAL NOVEL and read up to the second chapter. Did you not mention curtain firing games? Of course, you quite SUCK at it, but who cares? You play them for fun anyway. You will always like it when there's someone by your side who UNDERSTANDS your problems. Should you tell that you like to keep CATS as your pet?

There are however, a few things you hate. You show total dissent at TRAITORS. They can never be trusted for a long period of time, thus chances for them to get your trust back quickly is REALLY HARD. You'd like to teach them a lesson for BETRAYING. You are also disliking IRRESPECTIVE PEOPLE. It is best for you to ignore them unless you have to DEAL WITH THEM in dire events. You don't even like to eat PRAWNS, but at least you don't complain about having prawns in your food. What do you hate the most? EVIL. Even though you may not be able to land some JUSTICE on EVILDOERS, you hold hate towards them in your heart.

If you were to play SBURB (even at an adult age like this), you will dream of the golden moon called PROSPIT. your title would be SEER OF TRUTH and your world is LAND OF OCEANS AND ISLANDS. Your DENIZEN is however unknown as of now, but your consorts are HOSTILE TIGER CUBS. You'd like to stab them all due to those creatures trying to nibble you down. You use your bladeKind as the STRIFE SPECIBUS. When you retrieve items, you use the INVENTORY as FETCH MODUS. You can open up an INTERFACE WINDOW just like the ones FOUND in most RPG GAMES and take an item you want. However, this modus is random and not all things you want will exactly be taken out from it. You prototyped your DEAD cat named Reeve, thus it was renamed REEVESPRITE.

You chumhandle is arcaneKnight and --}===> You type just like what most regular humans will type, except the sword prefix at the beginning of your every word.

In case of TL;DR:

**MasterBlade** · 07-16-2011, 04:20 PM

==> Be the guy in the corner of the room.

Name: Alex Martin
Sex: Male
Chumhandle: bonsaiAssassin
Strife Specibus: offcespllyKind
Fetch Modus: Folder
Land: The Land of Roses and Warfare
Title: Soldier of Imagination
Consorts: Lions

**Temperencia** · 07-16-2011, 04:38 PM

>Be the Other Shameless Self Insert.

..Wait, her?

kolololololaol okeys doez thsis mean me = poopular????
pawoprurlar????
popular?????????

....hallo?? ):

Aliza Le
Bard of Fate
Land of Seraphs and Reverie

Your name is ALIZA LERIST, but actually, it's just ALIZA LE. The RIST looks good in it though. You admit, there's NOTHING REALLY INTERESTING about you, but YOU DON'T CARE. Your FUTURE AND INTERNET is all that MATTERS TO YOU.

As you said before, you aren't very INTERESTING. You don't have any SPECIAL POWERS or PSYCHIC ABILITIES, nor do you have any PHYSICAL STRENGTH. Although you LACK ABILITIES, you have a DEEP PASSION for ART. No, you don't want to be a PROFESSIONAL ARTIST when you grow up, it's just something you ENJOY and MAKES YOUR LIFE MORE INTERESTING. This goes the SAME WAY WITH THE INTERNET, it's not a HOBBY, it's more of an ADDICTION-- an ADDICTION you're NOT ASHAMED of. As a child, you planned to have a PERFECT LIFE, even if your FAMILY was TOO PARANOID TO AFFORD A SIMPLE HALLOWEEN COSTUME. You got STRAIGHT A'S due to STRICT TEACHING from your PARENTS, that's ONE GOOD STEP to becoming SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE, but then INTERNET got into your LIFE. A PAINFUL MISTAKE, at least to you. Due to the INTERNET and ELECTRONICS, GRADES weren't so EASY to get. You were EASILY DISTRACTED by your ONLINE FRIENDS, played MMO's instead of STUDY for TESTS, and even MADE MARY SUE OCs instead of HANG OUT with your FRIENDS. You got STRAIGHT As fortunately, is now going to IRVINE COLLEGE, but you FAILED TO MAKE FRIENDS in REAL LIFE. You DON'T REGRET IT, INTERNET CORRUPTED YOU, and you LIKE IT.

Moving onto a more COMFORTABLE TOPIC, your FAMILY was rather POOR, you must ADMIT. Your PARENTS were PARANOID about MONEY, asking for a SIMPLE TWO DOLLARS makes them a BIT UNCOMFORTABLE, even asking to ORDER PIZZA would make them THINK THAT THEY'D LOSE THE HOUSE. You can't BLAME THEM THOUGH, their RESTAURANT has been RUNNING SLOW due to CAFES and OTHER RESTAURANTS OPENING UP. You live in a SUBURBAN AREA, a TWO STORY HOUSE to be SPECIFIC. You PRACTICALLY LIVE on the TOP FLOOR, you EAT, PLAY VIDEO GAMES, SLEEP, DRAW, and do MANY OTHER THINGS on the TOP.

You have a KNACK of ANNOYING OTHERS on the INTERNET, MISPELLING WORDS ON PURPOSE, BLURTING OUT THINGS NOT RELATED TO THE TOPIC, or even JOKE ABOUT SERIOUS THINGS, which results in BEING LIT ON FIRE BY ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS NOT LITERALLY. You don't ACT LIKE THAT in REAL LIFE, REAL CONSEQUENCES may happen. You also like to RP, as right now you are PLAYING a BEAUTIFUL CALM ICE SKATER that is IN A COMA, but somehow got this MAGICAL DEVICE by her PARENTS that makes her STILL IN A COMA, but can MOVE. It feels kinda WEIRD PLAYING HER, so you'll KILL HER OFF SOMEDAY SOON. Like when your BIRTHDAY comes.

Another thing STRANGE ABOUT YOU is that you have a LARGE OBSESSION with MAKING UP WORDS.

Clandestanien!
Philistinae!
Pyrestilicanion!

..Okay well the first two were WORDS, but you just ADDED A TWIST to the END. No, you don't have some sort of SECRET LANGUAGE, you just MAKE UP WORDS to USE UP YOUR TIME. Or, if you can't MAKE UP WORDS, you just SIMPLY MAKE WORDS MORE ELEGANT; MORE FEMININE. This APPLIES TO OTHER PEOPLE'S NAMES TOO, so you may add a -NAE or -NIA to the END OF THEIR NAME. If they get ANGRY, they'll just have to simply DEAL WITH IT.

Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is FLDNCHARKIND. You'd probably go with something COOLER though, something like.. TABLTPENKIND! Oh well, but a FOLDING CHAIR is more BLUNT AND DANGEROUS. You also use FISTKIND.

To annoy people, your chumtag is philesticalPerfectionisticia, and somtemeimes yuuouou spek ina sah pofersunal waey to udders..................
poopfesijnlal
professional.

But sometimes you just type normally when something serious happens.

**inexplicableSigns** · 07-17-2011, 01:31 AM

>Be the third shameless self-insert in the new thread

"cuz none of those other humans were self inserts. nope. totally no wish fufillment going on there or anything. o3o b"
>Also don't be a dick.

"Yeah, sorry. o3o"

Your name is ANDREW HASS.

You have many interests, although they are universally boring. You enjoy roleplaying, but you are not very good at it. Creating new, entertaining characters is always a fun way to pass the time, but none of them get the development they deserve because you can't stop making new ones. Whoops. You also enjoy playing video games, mostly of the roleplaying and real-time strategy genres. You also enjoy reading manga and books, especially Shitty Shonen Manga and Dean Koontz novels (which aren't shitty at all),

You have few redeeming talents or qualities. You enjoy making friends, but are universally terrible at helping them. You love art, but your constant procrastination guarantees that you will never be any good at it. You are very strong, but your idle lifestyle means you are fairly out of shape.

You spend far too much time on the internet, but you would argue that it isn't such a bad thing. You have many friends that you talk to almost constantly, and some of them are really incredible people. Just being around them makes you feel better.

You live in a small house in the middle of the country, quite a distance from any real civilization. Getting to town is pretty difficult due to not having a car, so you tend to hang around the house and keep things clean and tidy. You live with your mother and your little brother, who you get along with fairly well. You and your mom have some trouble, but that isn't really something you want to talk about.

Your strife specibus was set to silverwareKind in an accident that you are totally not willing to share. It was rather embarrassing. You carry a spoon and a fork, but your strife card won't let you carry a steak knife.... I guess that's knifeKind? Eh.

Your fetch modus is the Diablo Modus, which gives you an 'inventory' Diablo 2 style. Any item that could be assigned to a body part, such as a helmet, gets its own slot. Everything else takes up a certain number of squares based on its size. Someone who was good at organizing it could fit a lot of stuff in here.... but you aren't good at organizing it.

If you ever played Sburb you would be the MAGE of ?????? in the Land of Graves and ??????. Your consorts would be Gastly and your denizen would be Spiritomb.
Assuming, of course, the pokemon theme thing is going on. If not, they'd probably be Suckerfish with your denizen being ??????

Your chumhandle is mutagenicAbstractus and your typically use no caps and minimal puncutation... oh, and you never fix typos o3o

**Arcc** · 07-17-2011, 01:40 AM

I have updated and tweaked the profile for archaicReplica on the previous thread, now including such fine niceties as an actual sprite.

**paradoxette** · 07-17-2011, 03:48 AM

>Be PD's self-insert.

jegus, no! just how much do i already have?! . A .'

>Why did you make that much then?

idefk! . u .''

>Well so what now?

okay okay fine stop getting off topic. .3.'

>Gee, if you stare any longer at anyone they'd turn to ashes from the inside.

what, it was a neutral expression i swear!! . m . ksdjfksdhf, fine...

>Who are you and where did that other person go?

it's me, silly! ;u;

Your name is [REDACTED] because you don't feel comfortable with having your real name posted in a forum like this, not even in anagram form. You are known as SHARON DRAKE in the internet, y'know, whenever one of those sites require your real name upon registration, that's what you enter. In online communities though, you go by many nicknames... and in this particular one, your nickname is paradoxette, often abbreviated PD.

Okay, if someone is being serious, your name is DENI PURPLE. That last name is so uncreative because it's your favorite color, and it's six letters long, shut up! Others might also refer to you as Dannie, you're okay with that. Only your family calls you by half your real name that you're okay with. Your little sister has pet names for you and they are extremely embarassing if anyone except her would ever know.

Names mean a lot to you. You differentiate between personalities, between fantasy and reality, with names. You associate a lot of things to names. Positive, negative, physical appearances, important happenings, you associate them with names. Even more extremely sometimes, the letters in the names.

Oh, you like letters. You can rearrange them and they become something completely different. You have a lot of fictional characters, and i mean ~~a lot~~, and their names are either anagrammed from something, or cobbled up from words you think suit them the most.

You are addicted to drawing and roleplaying. You started roleplaying five years ago, when you went through a storm, and you never stopped because it's the only thing keeping your mind in one piece (or several intact pieces and not more than that, heh). You have lots of internet friends who roleplay with you. You don't know how you end up with so many friends while all you do is rant left and right and add in dumb comments to the conversation, but it's what happened, and you like it that way.

Maybe it's because you're mature enough to admit your mistakes and put yourself before others, and how you express that you like them. The bible is right, "do upon others how you want them to act on you" or something like that. You live in asia, the bible that you read is written in your native language. Yeah, sure, you read it, and you hate all the shallow ignorant people who quote it. You ignore that kind of people, sometimes forgetting their existance entirely...

Enough, no one wants to read a boring essay on what you think. Oh geez, so many words, and no point at all! Okay, last thing about you, your mind processes thoughts in ways that often surprise you because you end up making contradictions without even knowing them. This is very prominent in your characters, seriously, you weren't even trying. Man you can write about all your characters, all day long, if you wanted to. You're just such a lazy procrastinator and you like to waste countless hours on games instead. Your grades suffer because of this, though you still manage to pass the classes, whew.

Oh, you also like drawing. Wait what, you haven't wrote about drawing like three paragraphs ago? Well damn. You started drawing ~8 years ago, in fourth grade. You still remember your first box robot, it was unimaginably awful there's no exact word you can think of to illustrate it... oh, yeah, there is. Conksuck.

You always get into fandoms and once you're in one you forget everything else and you multitask too much and you like listening to music especially heavy metal and singing along them all and IRC is very fun and you like MLP:FiM because it's well written and oh man you forgot what you were going to type because you got distracted by one of the various image editing softwares that you have installed on your PC. If your PC or tablet dies one day you are going to bawl and kill everyone but that's not today because today is...

MAGICAL! Heeheehee! The songs are good and your drawings look halfway decent and you just watched funny youtube videos haha oh

Hehehe. Oh, oh, oh duhh this is a profile hurry hurry your trolltag-- i mean chumhandle is purpleDictator and you type like lazy as heck with lots of emotes o u o!

yeah those are light teethbraces because it's your my fourth year wearing them and no i don't know how the sprites still manage to be creepy fhfkd if anyone fails self identity class it's me ok aaahh just click the submit reply butto

**CSDragon** · 07-17-2011, 01:23 PM

>Be the overconfident logician

Your name is...Really? Really? I thought we were more mature than that.

>Try Again

That's more like it!

>Explain yourself

Your name is ISAAC SOLENUS.

You are an aspiring CODE MONKEY, who spends all of his time playing VIDEO GAMES, drawing and browsing the internet on your computer.

You are also a king of PROBLEM SOLVING and FAULTY LOGIC. Your mind works differently than most people's and you are able to find conclusions no-one else is capable of in the most round-about and confusing manner possible. But it comes at a price, when trying to explain it, it is often clear that it makes NO SENSE. But somehow it all works out in the end. Unless you're wrong.

Your chumhandle is celibateScrewball and you talk in a vay resembling either a Vampire, a German or a Sveed, you're not entirely sure vich. Vell, vatever, point is you don't use too many 'w's vere instead you could use 'v's.

Your Sylladex Modus is ArrayList. The ArrayList is the ultimate in terms of pure utilitarianism. Any object can be stored in any slot and can be recovered from any slot, however, the ArrayList does have it's downsides. The ArrayList stores by reference, not by data, meaning objects remain where they were when captched, and are exposed to the elements rather than being safe inside a card. However, they still appear like normal when taken out of the Sylladex. Additionally, because of this, a ArrayList Sylladex cannot be weaponized, because there is nothing to eject when an object is replaced.

Your Strife Specibus is set to Shieldkind. You can use an array of protective objects held along the arm. These offensive and defensive tools can be as simple as bucklers, or as advanced as a circular form of tonfa used as a boomerangs. Most shieldkind weapons are more standard pentagon shields with a sharpened bottom or a spike in the center.

Your title is the DUKE OF SENSE and you can MAKE SENSE OF and PREDICT paradox space, even later gaining powers over paradox space itself. Once you reach God-Tier, through sheer willpower you can command paradox space to bend to your will as long as it determines you have the abilities to stabilize the time loop.

**Katrika** · 07-17-2011, 03:38 PM

>Be the Mafioso's daughter

Your name is SERAFINA DENARO, but everyone had better call you FINA. You’re sure PAPA meant well when he named you, but Serafina is soooo old fashioned, and you’re TOO AWESOME to be old fashioned in any way. After all, your Papa is the richest person in Palermo, Sicily. Who knew the import export business was so lucrative?

You’ve got hobbies, of course. You love love love to SHOP! There’s nothing like stepping into an exclusive store and buying everything you want while the other shoppers look on in awe. You are truly the best! All that shopping is for a good cause. You could hardly go out PARTYING in old clothes, now could you? Everyone is looking to you, Fina Denaro, to set the trends, and you don’t dare disappoint! All the boys want to date you, and all the girls want to be you…at least, in your mind.

At your all-girls school, you always try out for the lead part in plays. You’re going to be an ACTRESS, or maybe a SINGER. Something with a lot of lights and adoring fans. That’s not to say you don’t love acting and singing itself. You do! You just can’t imagine being the supporting actress or the backup singer. Papa says you’re destined for great things, after all, and Papa is always right!

People think you’re a spoiled little rich girl who can’t defend herself, but that’s simply not true. Sure, you have bodygaurds, but you’re far too INDEPENDENT to rely on them all the time. Instead, you take TAE KWAN DO classes on the weekend, and you must say, you’re quite good! For some unfathomable reason, you’ve chosen to keep your strife specibus allocated to cashKind. Hey, just because you’re independent doesn’t mean you’re smart!

Your Papa always calls you his prettyPrincipessa and you type in a somewhat condenscending tone, darling.

**Captainman** · 07-17-2011, 08:28 PM

> Follow the trend, be the Self-Insert

B-But, uhh, wouldn't that be c-copying? ...wh-what if they get mad at me?

> FOLLOW THE TREND, BE THE SELF-INSERT

<: (

( awesome outfit made by poot she is pretty much the best )

Your name is CLAYTON FICKAS
...
Well, THOMAS CLAYTON FICKAS
But
You kind of hate your first name
Seeing as when you where younger you'd say Thomath, so you go by Clayton
And
Uh
...

Your name is CLAYTON FICKAS.

You are quite possibly the most boring NERD ever. Your INTERESTS are few and very, very ODD and NO ONE really talks about them with you unless you bring them up and you kind of feel bad about doing that. You don't really want to be a BOTHER. Or ANNOYING. You REALLY WORRY about what others think about you and you tend to avoid anyone who you think might possibly be the slightest bit IRKED at you. You try to AVOID people a lot.

Your INTERESTS include COMPUTER GAMES, COMIC BOOKS, CARD GAMES, and TRANSFORMING ROBOT TOYS. Your favorite type of GAMES are the ones without a POINT. You dig Minecraft and Terraria and, despite it having a point, you play Transformers: War For Cybertron. You are sink WAY TOO MUCH TIME into FLASH GAMES. Your COMIC BOOKS of choice are DEADPOOL and GREEN LANTERN, though you don't really like the GREEN LANTERNS all that much. You'd much rather be an ORANGE LANTERN and have even procured an ORANGE LANTERN RING for yourself. It doesn't work, sadly. You are into MAGIC THE GATHERING and POKEMON and YUGIOH and pretty much all GOOD CARD GAMES. You'd explain your decks but you doubt anyone wants to hear about your DESTINY HEROES or your EDH WUBRG SLIVER DECK. Your final interest is TRANSFORMERS. You pretty much LIVE, BREATH, and EAT Transformers except not really, that would be STUPID. You'd CHOKE... but you do LOVE them. You buy the COMICS. You watch the MOVIES and SHOWS. You get an UNHEALTHY amount of JOY when you spot a hidden reference... like in Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon when Laserbeak is hiding as a copier in Sam's job and the dude is pushing the buttons, complaining that the machine was Japanese or something but when he was pushing the buttons he pushed them in a way that the tune from the Generation 1 theme song was played and HOW COOL WAS THAT? ...uhh... like you said. REALLY INTO TRANSFORMERS. You even collect the toys. And display them. And TRY to make custom ones. TRY. You mostly FAIL and get HALF-ASSED IDEAS that you ABANDON and FEEL GUILTY ABOUT but you can ALWAYS BUY MORE to replace the ones you ruin.

You live in a DUPLEX, which is located in a TOWN of DECENT SIZE which is surrounded by CORNFIELDS and my GOD corn is the most boring thing out there. You don't drive in the country much because of it, and because there's nowhere to go in the COUNTRY. No CARD or TOY or COMIC shops or... you get the point. You don't really drive around town much, either. You're KIND OF A SHUT IN and VERY SHY IN REAL LIFE. Talking to people is HARD.

Your STRIFE SPECIBI are ringKind and toyKind. Both of them are PRETTY MUCH USELESS. But it lets you carry your TOYS without clogging up your deck.

Your FETCH MODUS is the TRANSFORM MODUS. It takes whatever ITEM you CAPTCHA and turns the card into somethine else. In order to get the item back you have to TRANSFORM it back into a CARD. It generally takes a little time at first but once you TRANSFORM something once you don't have to do it again.

If you were to play Sburb you would be the ???? of ???? in the Land of ???? and ????. You have no idea what your consorts be in normal Sburb, nor your denizen.

Your chumhandle is plasticAddict and ...you t-try to type in, umm... a timid w-way... especially when t-talking to people who you're a-afraid of... <: (

**Alyss** · 07-18-2011, 03:58 AM

>Be... That chick who isn't a self-insert.

Certainly, sir/madam. Although, I do have a name, which is not "that chick who isn't a self-insert", and it will be stated below. I prefer you call me as such.

Your name is MONA LEXINGTON, though, on rare occasions people call you RAMONA.

The first thing people seem to notice about you is your bright white hair, which used to be dark brown. The doctor said it was genetics (you've taken notice that your mother dyes her hair), and it was nothing to fret over. The children at school often tease you, making jokes like "Granny Mona", though, to be frank, you don't give a shit. The jokes are unoriginal, and it doesn't matter what a few kids you barely know say about you.

You come from an extremely wealthy family, living in a rather nice mansion in an equally wealthy neighborhood. Your mother and father both have good paying jobs, and you go to a nice private school not too far from where you live. You have no brothers or sisters, but a few cousins. Your parents won't let you talk to them, so you secretly chat with them over a nice chat client called "Pesterchum". From what you've seen, they're the only truly interesting people you have ever met.

You are a very well-mannered and polite young lady, and you have always been called mature for your age, which is very true. You find it a little hard to relate to other teenagers, in fact, they annoy you. They always babble about how horrible they're life is because "Daddy didn't buy me this", or that their boyfriend had dumped them. It's all ridiculous, really. So, you choose to let adults be your social outlet, no matter how bland they may be. You have a pretty dry sense of humor, and the best joke you could ever muster would be cringe-worthy sarcasm, but you seem to like funny people for some reason. Maybe they could teach you how to be funny, or something.

You enjoy your life very much, but you only have one issue with it: it's too boring. Every house for a mile is huge, with the same white paint and bricks, and every girl likes the same boy band and every boy likes the same wrestler, or what ever it is they like. Your future seems paved out for you, with little say of your own, and you'll be stuck in another house that's also unnecessarily extravagant, with a bland and boring husband and some bland and boring kids. You just hope something wonderful and amazing would just... Pop in Kool-Aid Man style and rescue you from this fate.

You have, or rather had, an unholy amount of interests, from anime to writing, to drawing and researching Finnish mythology. You spend a lot of time looking for something that might interest you, only to find something and get tired of it later. There would be no point in listing them all off, so the writer of this profile will only give you a handful. Ancient warfare, reading, Egyptian mythology, European culture, and astronomy. There's a telescope pointing out of you window, and you like to look at the different stars and planets in the night sky, though you like looking at the full moon the most.

You have a relatively new, secret interest, one that unsettles you, to a degree; dreaming up ways for the world to end. You know, that's probably a sign of a future-murderer, but it's hard to stop. One day you may be doing something totally unrelated to it, but then all of a sudden think "Maybe a meteor shower will rain down...", and then a whole slew of other thoughts stem from it. It's kind of not-boring, so you like it.

You believe you have a healthy social life, though, like almost everything, once you find some friends, you suddenly can't bear to be with them. It's not like you repel them, you just... Lose interest. They suddenly become boring, and you stop speaking with them as much. You don't sever ties, or abandon them or anything, they just go down to "acquaintance".

Sometimes you wonder why you feel so... Disinterested in everything, but you eventually push the thought away, because you get bored with it.

Your chumHandle is dystopicEquinox, and you speak with perfect and precise grammar. You happen to find those "quirks" rather annoying.

edit: whoops i forgot to ask for those thingys called critiques

tl;dr:

**Thunder Reign** · 07-18-2011, 04:38 AM

Your name is MATT FRANCES.

Life has always been pretty rough and tumble for you, being reared by your ornery grandmother on a rural cow farm in the middle of nowhere. Having tussled with bulls and trained sheepdogs since you could walk, physical labor is practically nothing to you; however, emotional and touchy situations are your weakness, and you've never really known how to express those. Despite that, you still have a strong desire to socialize, and you took to the INTERNET in an attempt to branch out beyond the country folk who live close to you.

You've made a few friends, which is great, but your complete lack of anything resembling cultural knowledge means that you've made quite a few MORTIFYING BLUNDERS along the way- you don't know what's been your worst incident yet, but you think it might be a tie between asking whether "yellow fever" meant jaundice and admitting to unironically liking the "three golliwogs" book you had as a little child. For this reason you have become highly oversensitive to anything regarding culture or race, and often find yourself having to doublecheck if anything you've said is racist (much to the amusement of your peers).

Your interests include GOOD OLD FASHIONED HONEST FARMWORK, RETRO GAMES (not because you're ironic, you just hate games with plots beyond "aliens have kidnapped the President"), FARMING/GARDENING, OLD 80'S SCIFI MOVIES and, when you feel like it, PLAYING THE HARMONICA.

Your pesterchum handle is trueTrooper and you use a lotta true blu ozzie slang, mate!!! wait fuck dat wasnt racist was it

Name: Matt(heas) Frances.
PC Handle: trueTrooper
Nationality: Aussie (Caucasian)
Typing Quirk: speaks fairly loose, mate, with lotsa fair dinkum wordin' from da best country on earth!! aww fuck shit sozza was dat insensitive?
SBURB Title: Prince of Light
SBURB Land: Land of Glass and Waves
Guardian: Grandma (Nan)

Your name is JOSH HORTON.

What? Hey, get that camera away from you! You can't be too safe, after all. What you're up to is top secret. What are you up to? You just said, it's top secret!!... okay, fine, maybe you can know. Come into the basement and maybe you can have a peek. It's confidential computer stuff, alright? Super fancy, you probably wouldn't understand it.

After all, things like that are your FORTE. What you might lack in strength (and you're not very strong, barely able to lift the monitor of your superpowered desktop rig) you make up for in technological know-how, making coding and digital security measures your bitch in the blink of an eye. It's almost embarrassing how good you are at that shit, really; you don't know why other people have such a hard time with computers, when they're so easy.

How do you spend your time? Inside, mostly. You're not a big fan of going out, to the sun or the cold or the horrible... horribleness of the real world. You have an impressive network of online contacts, ranging from your acquaintances in the hacking-for-fun-and-profit circuit to simple buddies on the Pesterchum client. You, of course, have made your own custom skin for it.

Er, you... don't really go out much, but you manage to make enough money from freelance coding/hacking commissions to rent out the BASEMENT of a house full of layabout bachelor friends from high school. As such, your only "guardian" per se is your pet ferret, who is an ENORMOUS FATTY and wouldn't be able to protect you against shit.

Your pesterchum handle is rewindRectify and you >10 TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS YOU ARE A VERY IMPORTANT CODER;

Name: Josh(ua) Horton.
PC Handle: rewindRectify
Nationality: American (African-American)
Typing Quirk: >10 MIMICS CODING WITH TEXT;
SBURB Title: Thief of Breath
SBURB Land: Land of Frost and Wheat
Guardian: Erm... a ferret? (Bob)

**rockingCavalier** · 07-18-2011, 07:25 PM

==> Be the self insert

Ugh, fine, whatever.

You are now DAVE PETERS. Your interests include HEAVY METAL, GIANT ROBOTS, THE GRIMDARK ARTS, and HEROIC MYTHS. Other people might say that your interests include BITCHING and STARTING TROUBLE, but those people need to be exterminated.

You are about as WARM and PLEASANT as an EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL HORROR FROM BEYOND SPACE AND TIME. Quite frankly you have an UTTERLY MISERABLE ATTITUDE that turns off a lot of people. You also have a striking suspicion that your FEW FRIENDS only care about you out of concern for your SANITY, which you consider to be IN A QUESTIONABLE STATE. You also have a HAIR-TRIGGER TEMPER that gets you into TROUBLE a lot.

You RENT A ROOM in a MAJOR URBAN AREA which you wish would BE DEPOPULATED. Your apartment is decorated with POSTERS OF METAL BANDS, GUNPLA, BLATANTLY PIRATED CDS, and GRIMDARK ART. Your LANDLADY is an annoying drunk who DESPERATELY WANTS TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS, even though you consider her to be a DISGUSTING SLOB. She has a DOG, which you REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT. Well, actually you have A TREMENDOUS MONOLOGUE you could give about that damn dog, but it's PRETTY LONG and NOT THAT INTERESTING.

In reality your life IS NOT AS SHITTY AS YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE. You have a GENIUS-LEVEL IQ and can be QUITE CHARMING when you are not in one of your depressingly common fits of ANGER or SELF-LOATHING. Your parents love you VERY MUCH, and continue to help PAY FOR YOUR RENT AND COLLEGE. Your FRIENDS actually think that you are a DECENT HUMAN BEING and NOT CRAZY AT ALL.

Your chumhandle is ragingRocker and your typing style is pretty erratic, going from well-groomed and verbose when you are calm, to frantic and sloppy and rambling and really really long winded when you aren't. You use the SHUFFLE MODUS where you can only retrieve the item from the top card, but the order changes randomly whenever you add something new. Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is BATKIND because hitting shit with your aluminum bat is INCREDIBLY CATHARTIC.

In sBURB you would be the PRIEST of RAGE in the LAND OF CONCRETE AND MAGMA (LOCAM). Your consorts would be FLIES and your denizen would be CERBERUS.

Critiques welcome!

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