I also echo Kyn's sentiments re-vocals. I would also like to say that it's really lacking in diction so I really wouldn't have understood the lyrics without them being there. But that's not a fault of just you. So many people do the same thing.
Before I found out about http://www.musictheory.net/ I literally only knew 3 chords (four if you count V7), although I was pretty much using ii chords even though I didn't formally know what they were. It wasn't until I bought "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Composing" that I "figured out" chord progressions, and that was only because I found the website's lesson on circle progression kind of hard to follow. If you listen to enough music the rules will sort of become ingrained in your subconscious, but having more formal knowledge is always a boon and, well, the tools are out there.
I'd say much the same for ANIMATION, but I like it even better. I like the slower pace and the intricate array of instruments. The pitch bends are a nice touch. It's very polished. Not much else to say on the matter. I think it has the right balance between doing the same thing and adding new segments and instruments to the mix.
Space-Time Continuous... Awesome remix. Love it. Explore is one of my favorite Homestuck songs, and in some ways I like this remix better. It's true to the original, but adds it's own flair and interpretation to the song. I'd say this is the best out of the three. I could listen to it all day.
And now I'm going to have it stuck in my head all day, too. Kudos.
Last edited by Rnd; 03-09-2012 at 05:45 PM.
woah, thanks for critiquing all of them! I'll see about changing what you suggested
no! I really like when people critique, i just forget to ask
Something I've been working on lately.
It was inspired by Black Rose, Green Sun, as if that wasn't painfully obvious from listening to it (it's not a remix, though).
There are a few things I'm worried about concerning this song. Mainly, I think it's too long, but I don't really know what would be best to cut out. Also, I think it gets a bit repetitive at parts, but I think removing the repetition might damage the song's flow. So I'm at kind of an impasse here. I'd like some outside opinions.
Thoughts/comments/critiques would be appreciated (especially that last one).
Music and things:
The opening is really divided, there's no sense of unity there. I find that it seems like a little... random and not really connected. The parts should really flow together, in a similar way towards a common goal. It gets a little better later.
Another big problem I have is with the sounds you're using. The violin really needs to be more legato, and reach the notes a little fast, rather than crescendo towards them. A lot of the other instruments are falling short. Primarily the crash, it's a little too much like a bad drum kit crash cymbal when you really want concert crash cymbals (and i'd also use the cymbals a little less).
Around 2:04~ the bell part is dissonant to the rest of the piece. Not sure if that was intentional because there never seems to be any resolution of it, it just continues to play dissonant melodies to the strings.
I think the main problem is thematically there's no real development. Perhaps try moving the melody through some more instruments, changing keys, changing style, something to break up the similarity of the piece. It's all quavers continuously moving to long notes, and then repeat, to me. Cut some of the parts where it sounds the same as earlier, would be what I would suggest. As there's no real flow at the moment that I feel, I don't think it'd be damaging it, and ultimately if the flow is into a section that sounds so very similar as earlier, it's more boring than well-flowing.
But those are my suggestions. It's not bad, but I feel that it really suffers from repetition and length, like you say, as well as some of that dissonance.
Also, here is a fantheme I am working on for someone.
I guess feedback on this track would be cool too! Thanks!
I'll try to get back into this whole section of the forum again and actually try to contribute something, don't you people worry!
i rather like it at around 1:58, but before that its a little broken up. I'd suggest some more sustain in one of the leads, i think veritas probably has a better idea what it needs though. i like the bells at 3:20 a lot, maybe fit more of that in there somewhere.
the cymbal crashes are kind of annoying to me. sustain might help that too. adding more percussion crashes during them might also benefit.
its also pretty long. hitting the 6 minute mark now with plenty to go. the whole thing could be formatted to 4 and 1/3 minutes pretty well.
about 3/4s in theres a cut off and a sine, id give the sine more time and bring the drums in a few seconds later. the last quarter's drums are also kind of messy. if you were using grossbeat for it id try different gross beat channels
Last edited by AlphaKnight; 03-12-2012 at 09:50 PM.
Yes, the dissonance was intentional, but I'm realizing more and more that I have no subtlety when it comes to dissonance, so I'll resolve it/change it/remove it depending on how it works out in the end once I reformat the song. I'll also mess with the sounds a bit more to make them less grating/annoying.
Thanks again, and sorry for subjecting you to my noobishness. Next draft will be at least marginally better, I promise.
Music and things:
...And the new version is marginally better.
But only marginally.
Barring making the strings perfectly legato (I fixed most of the song, but there are a few spots where no matter what I do it seems to crescendo too much), I think I fixed most of the problems with the original song. But it's far from perfect.
I've gotten to the point though where any improvements I try to make make it worse in some way, so I'm finishing up this version. I'm going to make another version at some point, and I have my own ideas about what needs fixing, but I'd like to hear other people's opinions about it too.
I would appreciate critique. I tried to fix the issues brought up, so let me know if I didn't do enough/went too far.
I'm terrible at expressing myself, so I guess what I'm trying to say is I think I've made this piece as good as I can possibly make it (without completely rewriting it again, and I intend to at some point). I don't have the composition or mixing skills to really make it shine like I want it to. I'd like some feedback on this so I can get closer to doing so in the future.
Last edited by Rnd; 03-17-2012 at 01:17 AM.
Music and things:
It's definitely improved. Still feels a little repetitive, but I like the some of the dissonance that's there.
It just seems to lack direction. There's no building to something, no ebb nor flow; pretty straight forward and consistent.
Maybe take out one repetitive section and replace it with a more dramatic section that contrasts.
That's just a suggestion, again, and there are many other ways you can play with the flow of the piece.
I made something inspired by Upwards Movement (Dave Owns), though I posted it in the wrong thread at first >_> <_<