Best Subconcious Quotes Ever: Not to be confused with the dream thread

[mechanicalFactory]

Will you go away and turn the lights back on if I give you 20$?

I turned the lights off because they drive the rent up by 100$.

No I'm not sure what kind of lights drive the rent up by that much.

[DecidedlyDevious]

Eldritch lights, obviously.

[doorKicker]

Dammit, Perry. You and your stupid chocolate chip waffle, I'm going to miss this concert.

^ is probably my best dream quote.

[evergreenWanderer]

No, no. You need to use the fish and calibrate it with the wimbly pudding in order to make it go.

I think the Doctor's love of fish sticks and pudding effected my dream. ._.

[midgetGoddess]

Attention fellow degenerates! Social conformity is killing our society.

I really have no comprehensible statement to make about this at this current point in time.

[PriffyViole]

Probably the most heartwarming dreamquote I've ever had:

Thank you for growing me to full size!!!

[Broguts]

So I had this dream where there were these talking ostriches that taught me how to ride a dragon

Ostrich: FLY THE UNICORN HOMER
Me:What? Thats not even m-
Dragon: HOLD ON TO MY BUFFALO SAUCE

[Varkarrus]

your name is homer?
or isn't it?

Me: You have 20 seconds before that stab wound causes your heart to stop. Now will you stop trying to kill me?

[Broguts]

your name is homer?
or isn't it?

Me: You have 20 seconds before that stab wound causes your heart to stop. Now will you stop trying to kill me?

No, thats why it's funny.

[digitalCalibrator]

Me: Good thing you didn't get lost, Terezi. I doubt the people in the cars behind you would have appreciated you having to stop at every intersection to lick the signs.

Why (or HOW) Terezi was driving a car...I don't even know.

[PriffyViole]

It took the audience 15 minutes to realise that new idol wasn't what she seemed...

Especially since said idol was a little girl and three dolls arranged in a purple mesh with a mask on it in a way that resembled a tank from L4D.

I'LL put you to bed, milady...

[Wat]

It's the one thing worse than the Ride of Death: The Ride of Life

I have no idea how she got into my dream

[kholhaus]

You're dreaming

This was when I was awake.

I was hallucinating terribly.

[Varkarrus]

Introducing the 10th class! The Kitten! One of it's unlockable weapons allows it to shove it's head up it's own butt, crushing it's skull within it's sphincter!

[Ten_Tacles]

Oh my god, this thread is awesome.
Why is there never talking in my dreams/why can't I remember them?

[PriffyViole]

In loving memory of Homsar

Some sbemail - A Decemberween Mackarel

The worst part is this may be true.

K4RK4T T4K3 OFF YOUR FL1GHT GOGGL3S

Karkat was flying a plane.

[KawaiiMelon]

Chris (a DC of mine at my house): I'm telling you, the Mississippi Ghosts are better than the Germany Monsterheads!
Me (suddenly wearing a jersey for the fake Mississippi Ghosts) Nuh-uh! The Monsterheads rule!

We were just standing around the house about to go to a wedding.

[PriffyViole]

Sorry, guys.

Apparently he quit the gang...?

[PriffyViole]

Squirrel Dave?

Sprite Thing: Hey. Hello! Did you lock this thing?
Me: Yes.
S.T.: Well then allow me to reiterate. AAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!
Me: Let me guess. A giant Homsar-esque beast is rampaging through the universe?
S.T.: Actually, I was just looking for some shirts, but...yeah.

[Alyss]

Me: MY GOD! YOUR AFRO SAVED YOU FROM THE EXPLOSION AND HUGE MASS OF METAL CRUSHING YOU! *swoon*

[Luchigo]

BUT WHAT IF YOUR BARBIE SUFFOCATES ME??

My water broke

this tornado is my husband

[lamseteid]

It's actually quite normal for centipedes to exit orifices in your body. When you scratch them a lot, though, they'll burrow in your brain to hide for awhile

needles to say, this was a fucking scary dream

[Metaphor4Capitalism]

I walk past friend is in dream is bleeding from an amputated arm stump
Me: HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM
Friend: What? Oh, yeah, just lost it to a shark. Gotta get to class, BYE!
She then runs to class, leaving a blood trail.

[Twigwise]

Mom drive faster the light's blue you can go now the tornado's gaining on us!

Oh, it's okay honey. He's just vacuuming.

BUT MOM THE CAR IS A DUST BUNNY

So unplug the storm, stupid!

I need to remember my other dreams. My dreams are the funniest things. This one was... meh.

[kholhaus]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH
AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

not much else to say on the matter.