Dear NotASenator

[Dentrala]

Dear NaS, how do you manage to be so good looking all the time.


Also, can you give me superpowers please ok

[Inconspicularity]

How do I mine for fish?

(And how do I stop being such a useless pile of shite)

[kaoticAntagonist]

How do I become an active and friendly member of the community?

[Weeaboo]

do your shades descend?

[NotASenator]

NAS how is babby formed

By rejecting internet memes.

NAS how do i seduced trombonist

People who play trombone are obviously classy and intensely desirable. They can not be seduced, but with enough work and charm, you might prove yourself worthy of a throw-away tryst with one.

Ummm, I don't have a website, but I want to make my avatar randomly select one from a list of previously owned avatars... How do I do this?

I'm guessing you could probably write a javascript program to randomly select one image from a bunch of sources, host it on something like Dropbox, and link to that?
OH SNAP. QUESTION NINJAING


NaS: What is the reason for your username?

Among my friends, I talk about politics a lot. Or rather I used to. The internet often destroys my faith in the ability of people to engage in rational discourse.

The name was mostly just something I came up with that I felt would be original, but also act as a disclaimer that even though I talk about it too much, I'm not actually a politician.

NaS: What is the reason for your username?

Guess what he isn't?

NaS: Why aren't you a senator yet?

To be eligible to be a US Senator, you must be 30 years old. While I am currently 31, the Senators for Virginia were elected in 2006 and 2008, and serve six year terms, meaning that Senator Jim Webb will hold his seat until the 2012 election.

Long story short, I have been ineligible to become a senator. Blame the strict interpretation of the US Constitution.

NaS, what happens if I consume this thread without first consulting my doctor?

Possible side effects include:
Insomnia
Nausea
Weakness
Headache
Diarrhea
Loss of appetite
Drowsiness
Anxiety
Nervousness
Shakiness (tremor)
Dry mouth
Decreased sex drive
Yawning
Indigestion
Dizziness
Sweating
Impotence
Ejaculation problems
Flushing (redness of the skin, especially the face)
Abnormal dreams
Constipation
Gas
Vomiting
Fever or chills
Weight loss
Vision changes
Chest pain
High blood pressure (hypertension)
Increased appetite and weight gain
Taste changes
Erection last more than four hours

NaS how do I get you to answer my question?

Also, as a follow up to the job question where may I procure these "boobs"?

I have no clue. People are always offering me theirs.

NAS, how do I become a classy gentleman?

Treat yourself with respect and treat other people how you would want to be treated.

Treat your belongings with respect.

The rest is just clothes.

[piester]

Dear NotASenator,

OH DEAR GOD MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely, Piester

[Ford Johnes]

Dear NaS, I recently spilt cola all over the flag I put up on my bedroom wall and simply washing if won't make the stains come out. Do you know anything that will?

[NotASenator]

Dear NotASenator,

OH DEAR GOD MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely, Piester

Good [$TIME OF DAY$],

Due to the volume of advice sought at this time, response may be longer. Please wait 3-5 days for your advice.

[Glee Unit]

Dear NAS,

How am I supposed to keep track of who's who now that people's names can change, as well as their avatars?

[NotASenator]

Dear NAS,

How am I supposed to keep track of who's who now that people's names can change, as well as their avatars?

http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...-Change-Thread

Each name change thread will have a list of the changes in the OP.

I suppose next month I will also make a MASTER LIST to keep them all in one place.

[Nocturne]

Dear NaS:

I have a crush on my forum admin. Unfortunately, he's an anthropomorphic ferret.

what do i do (also how do i stop my girlfriend from finding out)

[Niall]

Dear NotASenator,
As a connoisseur of fashion, could you please tell me which of my accessories are outdated:
Ethernet Cable
Ukulele
Tourniquet
Crepe Suit
Fuzzy Dice
Christmas Beetle - In Amber
Christmas Beetle - Live
3D Glasses
Appendix In A Jar
5/4 Trench-coat
Fingerless Gloves
Gloveless Fingers
Pop-Up Handkerchief
Bi-Monocle
Retractable Transience
Bow Tie

[Isoraqathedh]

Dear NAS,

How am I supposed to keep track of who's who now that people's names can change, as well as their avatars?

http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...-Change-Thread

Each name change thread will have a list of the changes in the OP.

I suppose next month I will also make a MASTER LIST to keep them all in one place.

#1:

I have actually already done such a thing. Sure, it's originally for the MSPAORSG, but it's easily extensible to the rest of the forum. Do you want me to do so?

-- #1 000 001

(Okay, I know I have #1 000 973, but come on that's the first one and I'm keeping it. Still can't get into it; becomes even harder now that the name's been mangled and I forgot whether or not I reset the password none, once or twice.)

[egregiousBass]

I have actually already done such a thing.

How, so Moldova is Varkarrus? That's very heinous and scornful.

[Niall]

I have actually already done such a thing.

How, so Moldova is Varkarrus? That's very heinous and scornful.

Oh yes. Deliciously so.

[xinder]

Dear NAS,

How do I stop the bleeding?

[NotASenator]

NAS how do i convince/force the object of my affections to love me forever

The two key words here are love and affection. To quote Tim Minchin:

"And if I may conjecture a further objection love is nothing to do with destined perfection,
The connection is strengthened,
the affection simply grows over time.

Like a flower
Or a mushroom
Or a guinea pig
Or a vine
Or a sponge

Or bigotry

... or a banana"

However, if you do not wish to waste the time, I suggest relying on Pavlovian conditioning, selective lobotomy and perhaps even try eliciting Stockholm syndrome. When you are released from prison, your target will be completely in love with you.

NaS, do you think the gentleman's mustache should make a comeback, or is it a trend rightfully lost to the mists of time?

If you are asking if you should grow a mustache, the answer is no. It was a style of the time, as was many variants of facial hair growth, many of which have gone by the wayside with the advent of cheap and effective shaving tools.

NaS, I have recently acquired an interest in gardening. What are your favorite kinds of flowers?

NAS, I am angry at board games!

These are not requests for advice. My advice is to ask for advice.

Dear Mr NotASenator
I have this horrible habit of killing every thread, topic, anything I touch. Is there a way to prevent this from happening?
That is, unless I happen to kill this thread in asking.

Never post just to post.

There seems to be a fear of uncomfortable silence on this board, as if a slowdown or dead period in the thread will cull it from existence. I don't know if this is a result of 4chan, where I believe older threads are deleted, or just a stream of information modern age culture where you just have to be pressing that button, if the technology is there, it must be used.

Either way, the difference between a forum and a chat room is that if you go away for a while and do something else, when you come back the thread will still be there. It's okay for it to go quiet from time to time, it might just mean that no one with anything particularly worthwhile to add is on at the time.

The point is, don't worry about it.

NotASenator, why should I descend down the Five Paths of the Eternal Pantaloon? And for that matter, does anyone still wear pantaloons? Does anyone still know what pantaloons are?

EDIT: Dear NaS, what should I do when somebody posts after me, giving entirely valid correction and making me look like an idiot?

Roll with it, take the advice, and edit your post to cover up any evidence.

And pantaloons are dumb.

Dear NotASenator,

How would one go about advising people that a thread is an advice thread, not an ask anything thread? Or if the latter is desired, how would you advise I be less passive aggressive over things I think I know more about than I do?

Insincerely,
kwinse

P.S.

In a situation like this, being passive-aggressive or sarcastic is definitely the best solution. I mean, it can't be topped. Definitely the way to go.

Dear NotASenator, how do you type with boxing gloves on?

I don't.

[Drillgorg]

Dear NotASenator,
My Cat keeps being a bad cat. She scratches furniture and knocks over potted plants. What should I do? (I have a spray bottle but by the time I retrieve it form the kitchen the cat has forgotten what she did wrong.)

[-Benedict]

Dear NotASenator,

I'm about to go to my first job interview, and I don't know how to handle it! It's just a counter position at the movie theater, but what sort of things do employers like to hear from people who have no prior job experience?

[Varkarrus]

I already know what NaS is going to say:
Wear a fancy suit.
:P

[unbridledExüberance]

I already know what NaS is going to say:
Wear a fancy suit.
:P

more specifically, this one

[Twigwise]

Dear NaS
I want to punch stupid people and my first hour World Literature Analysis classEVERYONE in the face.
What do I do?
I'm sure punching in faces will get me arrested.
~Teetles

[Weeaboo]

how can one actually not fail to read where threads are located?

[Blueberry]

i was skipped.

time skip?

Yours was not an advice question, so he did not answer it in the advice thread.

[Weeaboo]

i was skipped.

time skip?

Yours was not an advice question, so he did not answer it in the advice thread.

mm let me edit the previous post then, my apologies.