Kookin' With Kika - Episode 2: Now Hiring!

[charcharmunro]

>Offer the most valuable thing you know. DELICIOUSNESS.

[Neofafnir]

>Pay him in not eating his shop.
or be not evil
>Pay in food!!

[ponytailArtist]

>Pay with knives.

[kd7sov]

>Clearly, one of your less-used HATS is the best possible payment.

[Bradley]

Kika: Nod solemnly and begin stripping.

Shopkeeper: Stop her and explain that's not what you meant.

Also, that you're not into alien chicks.

[Schazer]

Offer him a share of whatever delicious contraband you find on the planet. Obviously, save the best for yourself.

[Yamtaggler]

>Make up an invisible currency native to your homeworld and become infuriated when he will not accept it.

[goggleman64]

> Kika: Haggle. If he's unreasonable, implement HAGGLETECH: MAYBE I'LL TAKE MY MONEY ELSEWHERE.

[Mazinja]

>Offer the most valuable thing you know. DELICIOUSNESS.

You inform him that you are a chef and are prepared to render any services related to that if the money is not enough.



He chuckles (well, it sounds like clicks) and tells you that while it would be nice, that's not what he desires.

He wants…

>Clearly, one of your less-used HATS is the best possible payment.

… an OFFICIAL AZMSA HAT.

That… that *fiend*

[ponytailArtist]

>Desperately attempt to negotiate an alternative. If there's one thing you prize more than your chef status, it's your fashionable wear!

[Leylite]

Well, unfortunately your composure has been obviously broken, so haggling can no longer continue. It's best if you admit that this fiend has successfully found your price. A hat is a small price to pay in the long run if you can obtain further hats.

==

Kika: Accept a trade of an official azmsa hat for functioning forbidden interzonal travel equipment.

Kika: Bluff that since he has officially named a price the two of you can agree upon, he is formally obligated to be the first of the two of you to simultaneously show each other their goods; that is, he must show you the equipment at the same time you show him the hat, rather than the other way around.

[Yamtaggler]

Give him a hat from an amazingly obscure ensemble, like mourning-the-loss-of-your-small-grey-dog-with-a-name-that-starts-with-the-letter-"P" dress.

[Quirk]

Give him your ugly backup hat instead. Some guy gave it to you a while back in exchange for some random scrap metal you had lying around.

[Iyestorm]

>Well, after you conclude your not-shady-business with him, won't your not-shady-business be concluded? You'll have enough time to get a new not-shady-business hat.

[Bradley]

Leave. You will make it to the planet on pluck and cunning. By God you will walk if you have to.

Or just give him a high quality counterfeit.

[Mazinja]

Well, unfortunately your composure has been obviously broken, so haggling can no longer continue. It's best if you admit that this fiend has successfully found your price. A hat is a small price to pay in the long run if you can obtain further hats.

Small? SMALL? There is no such thing! An Azmsa hat is supremely important! Its an identity! Its telling other people who you are and what you are doing? Do you know who doesn't wear a hat in your planet? LIARS.

It's not small, it's not small at all! it's so very very important and you are totally freaking out!

>Well, after you conclude your not-shady-business with him, won't your not-shady-business be concluded? You'll have enough time to get a new not-shady-business hat.

You… you can't. You just can't. A new hat is not the same. Its never the same. This hat has been with yours for a long time now. How could you let it go?!

Give him a hat from an amazingly obscure ensemble, like mourning-the-loss-of-your-small-grey-dog-with-a-name-that-starts-with-the-letter-"P" dress.

AND WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE TO MOURN THE LOSS OF YOUR SMALL GREY DOG WITH A NAME THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER P?! HUH?! HUUUUH?!?!?!



… Ugh… but… no… no, its probably the best solution… a hat you rarely use in exchange for the ability to get to the planet of your dreams… ugh…

Kika: Accept a trade of an official azmsa hat for functioning forbidden interzonal travel equipment.

Kika: Bluff that since he has officially named a price the two of you can agree upon, he is formally obligated to be the first of the two of you to simultaneously show each other their goods; that is, he must show you the equipment at the same time you show him the hat, rather than the other way around.

Yes, if he is going to RIP A PIECE OF YOUR SOUL out he might as well show you that has has the goods first! And you tell him as much.

He says this is acceptable.



He gives you DIRECTIONS to a particular dock. The ENGINEER there can and will outfit your ship with the necessary equipment. You will give the HAT to him.

You… you suppose you should get going.

[ponytailArtist]

>Give him the obscure hat. Proceed to the dock and prepare to meet an engineer who happens to be a mantis.

[The One Guy]

> Go and meet this Engineer Extraordinaire!

[ArsenicNog]

>Attempt to sneak away without paying.

[Not The Author]

No, no, we're giving the hat to the engineer, not this guy.

> Yeah, better get going to see that engin... Oh! If the planet's restricted you might ask Eyepatch what the inhabitants look like. Blending in's important, ya know.

[Neofafnir]

> Go and meet this Engineer Extraordinaire!

>Wonder how many cricket people are on this space station

[Bradley]

Kika: Put on your "I'm about to lose one of my hats" hat.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Hat: Go through a strange and complicated process that makes it temporally guaranteed that Kika will need you in the future when she doesn't have you.

[Not The Author]

Kika: Put on your "I'm about to lose one of my hats" hat.

Hang on a sec

Can't you give the engineer this hat, and hope he makes the mistake of putting it on?

[BigBurkhart]

Kika: Put on your "I'm about to lose one of my hats" hat.

Hang on a sec

Can't you give the engineer this hat, and hope he makes the mistake of putting it on?

It's a hat, not a mind control device.