ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE? THIS IS A TRICK QUESTION. NOBODY IS MAN ENOUGH TO EVEN ATTEMPT IT. YOU WILL LIKELY END UP DEAD.
AS SOON AS YOU ACCEPT YOU WILL BE TAKEN AWAY TO ENTER THE FOREST. THE FOREST WILL BE FULL OF BEES. Fig 1. The enemy.
THERE WILL BE BEES EVERYWHERE. THEY WILL BE AROUND YOU, NEAR YOU, ON TOP OF YOU. THEY WILL STING YOU.
ONCE YOU ENTER IT WILL BE UP TO YOU TO FIND THE 3 STATIONS:
AND STATION D (you don't want to find station BEE)
AT EACH STATION THERE WILL BE BEES. THAT IS A GIVEN. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO MENTION THAT.
HOWEVER, THERE WILL ALSO BE HONEY. 2 FULL LITRES OF IT.
YOU MUST EAT THE HONEY.
KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE WILL LIKELY BE BEES IN THE HONEY
AND IF THEY HAVEN'T DROWNED.
ONCE YOU HAVE EATEN ALL OF THE HONEY, YOU MAY LEAVE. YOU WILL LIKELY SPEND SEVERAL DAYS IN THE WOODS FINDING THE STATIONS HOWEVER. AS YOU LEAVE, YOU WILL BE GIVEN A BEELOG. POST IT HERE. ANYTHING LESS THAN A B IS A FAIL
ALSO REMEMBER. IF YOU HAVE LESS THAN 100 STINGS. YOU WILL BE MARKED AS A CHEATER.
ALSO, THERE ARE 100 KILLER BEES IN THE WOODS. THIS IS TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER THAT THE NEXT STING MIGHT BE YOUR LAST.
IT IS NOT RECCOMMENDED YOU DO THIS CHALLENGE IF YOU ARE:
A) PREGNANT B) ALLERGIC TO BEES C) A PANSY D) SANE
Stung to death 2:1
Suffocation on a Bee 2:1
Overeating Honey 3:1
Stung by a killer bee 3:1
For future generations, here is the timeline. Thanks, Stij!
I'm disgusted at the insinuation that I am not man enough for something!
If a bee attempted to sting me, it would find itself unable to penetrate my awesome muscles. My testosterone would infect the bees and we would call a manly truce and sit around and not talk about our feelings and not cry.
Because we are MEN.
They told me it might be a good idea to start a log of my journey now. Something about probably not being able to feel my fingers by the time I got out of there. I mean, it has to be a joke, but why not start this stupid journal now and get it over with. Once I’m rolling in a lifetime supply of honey I won’t have time for things like writing.
To bee (see the pun? Haha, that’s pretty ‘punny’ if I do say so myself) honest, this whole venture strikes me as a little silly. After all, it’s not like they’d actually let me get hurt or anything. There will probably bee (see, I did it again! So clever!) cameras hidden all over the place so if anything happens they can call the EMS. Heh, strike that—the bees have probably all been de-stingered. I bet there’s not really anything dangerous out there at all. They’ll expect me to act like I’m in grave peril, though, of course. I’ll make sure to wave and flail about convincingly as soon as I catch sight of those black and yellow sky kittens.
“Oh no!” I’ll cry, a hand placed dramatically to my forehead, “ What waspish inhabitants will sally forth to meet me at this station? I have no hope of outmaneuvering the aerial army arrayed before me to reach their golden prize!” I will saunter up to the honey container and triumphantly drink it all in one swig (they said there would be two ‘litres’ at each station. I’m not sure what a ‘litre’ is, but it can’t be that big. Probably like a cup or something. Regardless, I was the soda-chugging champion at all the local sports team support parties, so I can’t imagine it being that difficult), winking roguishly as I bat away the bees’ feeble advances. This competition is as good as won.
Also, as a bonus, here is a list of my supplied provisions and supplies:
-One (1) small backpack
-One (1) gallon of sealed spring water. ‘Bee Springs’ Brand, ha ha.
-One (1) medium sized metal pot
-Three (3) honey flavored granola bars
-One (1) full-sized grocery store savings card. For 'sting-removal', perhaps? As if I’d need it!
-One (1) pocket knife
And here I go! Wish me luck, everyone! I won’t need it, but it might add to the realism of this ‘life-threatening’ endeavor. Ta! XOXOXO
I'm not sure what's going on in this thread, but it is wonderful.
Last edited by shatteredAcademic; 05-13-2011 at 01:44 AM.
But... killer bee stings aren't more toxic than normal bee stings, killer bees are just more aggressive. So unless there is a killer bee hive for you to stumble into, killer bees scattered throughout the forest aren't going to be much worse than normal bees.