Thank you! I'll go through the posts and make it easier per your suggestion.
also how do you guys like my new forum adventure super cool awesome adventure 2: the dungeon of doom (scaff 2 dungeon of doom)
It basically is SBaHJ, but you ripped off characters from Homestuck and... Mythbusters? Also TF2? (Sidenote: I have absolutely no problem with that since Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise is, to put simply, a grand ripoff of everything Portal- and Homestuck-related.) They seem to be "changed", but too less, yet are acceptable. 4/5
Now the plot. With a TF2-like plot I'd expect red and blue teams to kill off each other, yet this is an adventure and I don't know what the suggesters smoked. But they probably wanted to piss you off seeing at how of a bad quality ripoff is the first page. That would give -1/5 for the first page and 3/5 for the overall plot. Average: 1/5
Update speed. Four pages in nine days? 5/5
Total average: 3/5
You found a balance between shitty and cool. Congratulations.
(If anyone else is interested, since laserdogbad didn't post the link, it's here: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...ungeon-of-doom )
- - -
I know I asked for criticism earlier, but now that my adventure has a little bit more meat on its bones, I'd like someone to revisit it. If possible, I'd like a cut-to-the-chase overview that tackles
A: What I am doing wrong (description, dialogue, etc.)
B: How I could fix it
C: Your opinion of the plot (as much as you can give)
Please don't pull any punches.
Apparently this thread is here and it's been here for a while, so I guess I will ask politely for a review on my adventure: HiveBrawl: The Trollening.
I'd kindly request a critique on my newest adventure, Thrunge Plate. Just kinda over all critique of everything, I suppose.
I do believe that this one is much much better than my older three, in any and all ways, so I know improvement is happening, I just want to know if it's the right kinda improvement.
It looks like this thread is somewhat inactive, so it worries me a little bit. :c
Still, I'd like to have the adventure Aangie and I work on, Starfall, critiqued. The mirror is accessible via a link in my signature.
Things I'd like critiqued include: story pacing (though I haven't even gotten to the real, real story yet), characters, effort shown, and things like that.
An important note before you critique; Aangie and I have both drawn the art for updates, because she likes splitting the work with me, though she is often unable so I still do a majority of it.
Pages that she put together the images for: 2, 13 to 17, 30 to 34, 55 (the flash), 86-100, 133-140. I guess we'd like an honest opinion of what you think about this approach; we won't be hurt. Thanks! c:
Last edited by OfficerJordan; 02-21-2011 at 01:56 PM.
@ officer jordan
1.add more refrences to sweet bro and hella jeff
2. take the most rediculous requests seriously
3. copy and paste 90% of your images
4. use less correct spelling
edit: your adventure is cool enough
Thanks for your critique, Millionsandwiches! Feels good. : D
Oh woooooww, a review. Sorry. Just noticed. :X
Also, yeah, know Art's my weakest point. Scratch's shoulders were a particularly bad attempt to emulate his sprite's... angular look, I guess? At any rate, it failed pretty bad.
Thanks for your thoughts!
@ Millionsandwiches: I like it so far, especially the way you write. Maybe a bit bolder character individualization could be employed - text adventures sometimes require you to compensate a bit, and don't be afraid to throw some interesting curveballs from time to time.
DO YOUR WORST.
Shoop. I will like a review on my adventure.
I use MS paint to draw most panels which I animate in Gimp, for your information. I reason why I said that is because hopefully I can glean some tip and techniques for that medium. :>
If you want to somebody to review your adventure. You must review somebody else's.
If you just want to review an adventure then that's obviously fine as well.
Alfonzo the pet rock:
If you could review this and tell me what is wrong with it that would be nice.
Nobody seems to suggest :/
Last edited by oidip; 03-12-2011 at 04:55 PM.
When I have time I'll make sure to read through at least one of these adventures in order to provide some critique. In the meantime, I'd like some on my two (DEAD) adventures.
I plan to get back to both eventually, when I have time. Although I'm not sure that Do Not Play This Game is really worth a revive as it is.
OBEY on the other hand, I have big plans for.
Last edited by scintillatingMoniker; 03-18-2011 at 03:51 AM.