What are Your Favorite MSPA Quotes? (HONK)

[Tolma]

TG: if i see one more soft bulbous bottom being like
TG: kind of jutting out and impudent or whatever
TG: im gonna fly off the handle
TG: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit

[ThatOneGuyWithTheDog]

I was always somewhat partial to everything gamzee ever said.

[Tolma]

Do you have a line in particular that was memorable?

[Naesr Tazam]

Barring Problem Sleuth as a whole, the Homestuck Intermission has the best collection MSPA quotes to be had. My personal favorite:

"How many times does he have to tell you. He made this town."

[Moondelev]

I don't know why, but Rose's "Also, coarse is a good word." remains to be one of my favorite Homestuck quotes. It's just so hilarious given the situation, I suppose.

[Geekthras]

I am partial to the the ending of Act 5 Act 1

FAA: banished fr0m the universe we left behind
FAA: and yet in being denied the ultimate reward
FAA: we w0uld be barred fr0m entry
FAA: int0 the universe we created

[Tolma]

So guys, any suggestions for the best of wall yet?
Candidates?

[SenorEverClever]

"Everyone out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."

This is one of the greatest. I guess it's om nom nominated for the best of.

[Geekthras]

I nominate:
"MY GOD HE'S THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING.
Clearly dealing with a criminal mastermind here."

"Earth is literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter."

"Everyone out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."

TG: im going to infer that your species reproduces by having sex with a grub in a bucket or something
TG: am i close
GC: D4V3
GC: TH4T 1S 4BSOLUT3LY TH3 F1LTH13ST TH1NG 1 H4V3 3V3R H34RD 4NYON3 S4Y >:\

and maybe

TG: if i see one more soft bulbous bottom being like
TG: kind of jutting out and impudent or whatever
TG: im gonna fly off the handle
TG: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit

[nsinned]

"There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy" is always a good response when people get overwraught in the Chat thread.

Also "Stick that in your pipe and bleed to death slowly" is another favorite of mine.

Jack gets all the best lines. All of them.

[Gana0]

"Hate to cut and...

Wait, no. Not yet.

Wait for it...

Hate to... no.

Wait...

Hate to cut and DAMMIT. Not yet.

Hate to cut and run.

...

SHIT.

Hate to...

Hate to...

Hate to chop all of your heads off with this sword. Real sorry about that. My bad."

[KevKevOnFire]

So guys, any suggestions for the best of wall yet?
Candidates?

Maybe you could just put up ones that are repeated a bunch instead of doing nominations?

That seems to be more common from what I've read.

[inexpediency]

I was always somewhat partial to everything gamzee ever said.

I particularly like:

TC: sEe MaN, i Am StRaIgHt Up TeLlInG yOu.
TC: MiRaClEs.
TC: iT's LiKe, AlRiGhT, cOmPuTeRs, RiGhT?
TC: WhAt ThE fUcK?
TC: mIrAcLeS iS wHaT.

or

TC: No No BrO, i DoN't WaNnA kNoW, dOn'T eVeN tElL mE.
TC: kNoWiNg ShIt JuSt StEaLs Up AlL tHe FuCkIn MaGiC fRoM mY mIrAcLeS lIkE a MoThErFuCkIn ThIeF.

or

TC: iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of.

[Naesr Tazam]

Jack gets all the best lines. All of them.

Pretty much this. Put his lines up as candidates for Best Of and you've got most of the good ones already.

That said, Dave's counter-trolling probably tops everything, and therefore I nominate this gem:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TG: so at what point in the future am i supposed to look forward to you whipping up this titanic hankerin for my knob
AT: uH,
TG: be honest with me
TG: cause im busy
TG: and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon
AT: sHOULD i BE PERTURBED BY THESE ALLUSIONS,
TG: no man
TG: look
TG: i just need to know when to be there
TG: when the stars come into alignment and your flux capacitor lets you finally sate your meteoric greed for crotch-dachshund
TG: i wouldnt want to miss it and cause a paradox or something
TG: itd suck if the universe blew up on account of you missing your window of opportunity to help yourself to a pubescent boy's naked spam porpoise
AT: uHHH,
AT: oK, THIS IS SORT OF STARTING TO UPSET ME,
TG: jesus you are such a shitty troll
AT: i GUESS i'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE,
AT: aND FIND ANOTHER POINT IN TIME TO BOTHER YOU,
AT: wHEN, i GUESS,
AT: yOU ARE MORE EMOTIONALLY SUSCEPTIBLE, aND DON'T HAVE ALL THESE BEES IN YOUR BONNET,
AT: aBOUT YOUR HUMAN SEXUALITY,
TG: oh no
TG: no dude
TG: you sassed me up
TG: we are in THE SHIT now
TG: together
TG: for the long haul
AT: i,
AT: wHAT,
TG: we're motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch
TG: you and me
TG: welcome to nam
TG: now grab my hand and shimmy your soggy ass off that muddy bank before charlie gets the fuckin drop
AT: uHHH, wHO,
AT: wHO'S CHARLIE,
TG: hes the guy whos gonna read our vows
TG: im feeling pretty friggin MATRIMONIAL all a sudden
TG: take a look down by your foot see that little bottle
TG: stomp on that shit like its on fire
TG: noisy ethnic dudes are flipping the fuck out and waving us around on chairs til someone gets hurt
TG: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train
TG: and my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling
AT: oH MY GOD,
TG: bro look in my eyes
TG: that twinkle
TG: that be DEVOTION you herniated pro wrestlers sweaty purple taint
TG: sparklin like a visit from your fairy fuckin godmother
TG: shit be PURE AND TRUE
TG: thats what you see
TG: a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together
TG: radially effevescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine
TG: turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong
TG: this is how we do this
TG: this shits more real than kraft mayo

-- adiosToreador [AT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --

[BlastYoBoots]

Wrap that in font=courier tags, Tazam, by the way. Helps the look.


Pretty much all-time favorite here:

TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me
TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop
TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine

[Tolma]

So guys, any suggestions for the best of wall yet?
Candidates?

Maybe you could just put up ones that are repeated a bunch instead of doing nominations?

That seems to be more common from what I've read.

Ok then, I'm gonna do what this guy said. How about a 3 post rule for now? Sound fair?

[superking]

Pretty much all-time favorite here:

TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me
TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop
TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine

This defiantly gets my vote for best quote.

Do command prompts count? If so "MPI: Succumb to unfathomable bratwurst" has always been a personal favorite of mine.

Also pretty much all the business cards from PS are great:

DISCONCERTED?

NEED A TALL BRAWNY FELLA
TO COME BY AND
INSPECT YOUR PICKLE?

PERHAPS I MAY BE THIS FELLA
1-800-OGLE-NOW

[ectoBiologist]

"Removing the lid signals the moment your life becomes a great whirling batshit pandemonium, somewhat resembling the chaos of an especially ethnic wedding. Somewhere, a soused uncle deliberately shatters china on the floor. Muddy livestock is decorated, and then lost track of. The question "Whose mule is this?" at times can be heard over the din. This is now your reality."

That's a pretty good one.

[scaramousche]

"Land sakes alive, we are cooking with petrol now!"

"Everyone out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."
(There is no possible amount of credit that would be too much for this one.)

[gingerale]

Every freaking line Bro delivered. So. Freaking. Awesome.


If you don't remember them then you're probably not cool enough to hear them.

Other than that.. Hmm.. I'll have to go through the archives a bit.

Ah, yes.. PCHOOOOOOOO!

[Volpicks]

TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me
TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop
TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine

Oh hell yes. One of the best quotes in all of Homestuck.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Supporting ass famine as the best line in MSPA History.

[BlastYoBoots]

The way Terezi tops off this one:

TG: truth be told everyone will be tripping when im done
TG: once i upset this biznasty with my swift cuts
TG: dudes will phalanx themselves agape like theyre offerin to store my shit in their mouths for the night
TG: rows of glasseyed human fly catchers beholding categorical fucking domination of the dance floor
TG: but they wont catch none cause the flys all mine
GC: YOU H4V3 4LL TH3 D3L1C1OUS FL13S

Just... beautiful.

[absoluteCertainty]

WELCOME TO THE PARTY MOTHER FUCKERS

and

[carcinoGeneticist]'s computer exploded.

... yup.

[Lalovskaia T'aragol]

MSPA: Quick, become more meta while AH is brooding.

also

AH: Recap, then?
Hmm.
Nah, I think we're good