Blast Out The Head-Canon Thread!?

[runicArtist]

If SBURB happend to be a RPG or something like that, Godtier!John,Godtier!Jade,Sollux,and Robot!/Godtier!Aradia would be mages;(Godtier!)Dave,Tavros,Karkat and Dirk would be knights;Nepeta would be a assasin/rouge;Eqius and Jane would be archers;Jake,Eridan,and Roxy are marksmen(Guns and stuff); Kanya,Feferi,Godtier!Jane and Rose would be healers; Tereziand Godtier!Rose would be scouts or something(Sensing danger and hidden items); John, Gamzee and Vriska dont have specific classes, so they can be a mix of diffrent classes;Sober!Gamzee,Godtier!Eridan are beserkers/something like that.

[myu2k2]

The Noble kid's Lands are
LOCAH - Land of Crypts and Helium - Jane
LOPAN - Land of Principalities and Neon (Principalities are a kind of Angel. Possibly Powers and Neon. Regardless, it's Angel Los Vegas) - Jake
LOTAK - Land of Tombs and Krypton - Dirk/Roxy
LOMAX - Land of Mausoleums and Xenon - Dirk/Roxy

I would assume LOMAX is Jake's land because "Lomax" is the last name of the dead guy from Weekend at Burnie's.

[Jolts]

Dave has the same voice as Hussie, only younger, since he's pretty much the original author proxy.

[fireicedog]

Nepeta's voice is #3 from codename kids next door.

[FowlJ]

Okay, so, first, a pretty common one - since the clones created through ectobiology are way too big and mobile to be newborns, ectobiology creates clones at ~1 year old physically. So, while all the characters have only been alive for 13 (now 16) years, physically they are actually 14(17).

Next, on trolls, because why not.

Trolls are not born with coloured blood (or at least, not their adult blood colour). Their blood is coloured by chemicals that give each part of the hemospectrum its own distinct qualities. At the beginning of their lives, troll grubs are pale, with fairly soft skin and no horns. For about six months they live like that, feeding off plants and fungi in the caverns, their horns beginning to develop towards the later months. What happens to them during these first six months determines how they develop during the next three months. The bigger and stronger ones tend to grow into high bloods, but diet and other factors make a significant contribution. At nine months, the grub has developed tougher skin and stronger legs, and has sharp horns and possibly sharp teeth. For another three months the grubs live as omnivores, still eating plants if they're available, but also hunting small animals and even weaker grubs. Once they've had enough food and they are ready, they build a cocoon and grow inside for give or take another year, putting them at about one sweep old when they come out. The trolls are now fully developed, and are selected by a lusus. Only a little less than half of the grubs make it to that point, and only about a third of the initial population will make it to adulthood.
(I probably left out a whole bunch of stuff... It sounded more coherent in my head)

[PanchromaticRhythm]

Anyone know where the FtM!Dave head-canon came from?

[FowlJ]

Anyone know where the FtM!Dave head-canon came from?

I'm pretty sure people have done this with all the characters. The internet does that shit. It's possible there's an actual explanation, but I somehow doubt it.

[PanchromaticRhythm]

I noticed it's mostly Dave though, and I personally really like it, but I only base my headcanon's out of evidence. and there really isn't any evidence of it.

[ArmsAreLoud]

I am pretty sure that there is zero evidence for it ever.

[The Idea Master]

My headcannon is that, whatever troll Jewgeism is, the Dolorosa was troll Jewgish before she became a follower of the sufferer.

Also, in my headcannon trolls reproduced via mother grub and were raised by lusus pre-scratch as well as post-scratch.

Emerald bloods are the troll Jewgs, they worship the mothergrub.

[colwag]

I noticed it's mostly Dave though, and I personally really like it, but I only base my headcanon's out of evidence. and there really isn't any evidence of it.

Might be that Dave has more self confidence issues, or something?

Also, these sorts of things snowball. It's the real reason for stuff like Tavros likes chicken nuggets, Feferi's tubby and Vriska is a twig, and other pointless headcanons. Other people do them, some people like them and adopt them.

[PanchromaticRhythm]

blargh. I think I'll keep it as a crack head canon. With Hussie's girlfriend being genderqueer and his strong support of LGBT, I can totally see Dave being Trans. plus it gives a strong trans role model character in the series. :P

Troll Biology Headcanon inside the Spoilers. it's pretty lengthy too.

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Here's one of my Headcanons: Trolls have tentabulges. the crotch is a collection of tentacles surrounding a hole similar to a vagina (this is the nook). the tentacles often tuck into the nook. inside the Nook is the Seed flap, which acts as sheath for an oviposter (the Bone bulge) which extends when a Troll is ready to provide genetic material (cum). Trolls have voluntary control over the extension of this, however the Imperial Drones release pheremones that cause it to extend involuntarily. instead of an ovary, or testicles, Trolls have a set of 2 organs: an organ that mixes materials to create either BlackRom or RedRom Ejaculate; and a 2 chamber repository connected to the bonebulge, each chamber dedicated to one or the other.

trolls have sex via stimulation of erogenous zones at the base of the horns, along the tentacles, outside of the nook and inside the nook, providing multiple ways of orgasm. often the dominant partner will wrap the tentacles into a Penis like shape and use it to penetrate the Nook. Trolls typically have multiple orgasm in one session, each orgasm providing genetic material which fills the repository. When the repository is full a Troll cannot produce anymore ejaculate of that form until it is flushed by extending the oviposter. A full repository often hurts in a way similar to animal heat. this Heat is also felt at regular intervals, near the time the Imperial Drones come to gather ejaculate.

and yeah, thats my way over thinking of troll biology, and thats not even all of it.

[Mpete]

karkat is rather hard to anger, but once he is angry, he is ANGRY, snipy and cranky for weeks at a time. "i only throw a tantrum twice a year, each lasting 6 months"
john often throws Caution to the wind breeze
Trollian-pesterchum have a built in Skype like thing

[wrinklefudger]

Emerald bloods are the troll Jewgs, they worship the mothergrub.

that sounds more like they're catholig.

edit: not the place for that question

[luminousKeytender]

Kanaya is an expert dancer.

[wrinklefudger]

Kanaya is an expert dancer.

she dances anything with a spanish sounding name

[luminousKeytender]

Verily; I could imagine her waltzing to these:

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[wrinklefudger]

Verily; I could imagine her waltzing to these:

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I mean spanish sounding as in Flamenco, Lambada, Guacamole

[avolitionalArtisan]

I am pretty sure that there is zero evidence for it ever.

There's also zero evidence against it. It's not like every detail of a trans person's life had a trans sauce over it! You wouldn't really notice unless explicitly mentioned.
I think it's unlikely that Dave was actually imagined to be FtM; but I support this headcanon, if only because there are not enough trans characters in popular culture that are not just there as incredibly offensive jokes.

Kanaya is an expert dancer.

Yes.

[aPawnAscending]

This is a really weird and really minor bit. For context I used to have a white german shepherd named Zelda who would always pee a little when she got excited. I at least think this is what this stems from. I really can't unsee this no matter how much I try because it's frankly just so fucking stupid it's unbelievable. Too stupid even for a gif.
Well, it's somehow stuck in my head that whenever Feferi get's really excit--------ed!!!! she, uh.....pees a little. Just a little. Not enough for anybody to really notice.

WTF WHY IS THAT STUCK IN MY HEAD!?

[The Idea Master]

that sounds more like they're catholig.

edit: not the place for that question

Perhaps but Catholigism is a form of Christiagity so it can't proceed it, any way your wright this isn't the place for this conversation.

[captal]

i have chosen professor grizwald as my headcannon as narrarator for the first act. all the CAPITAL LETTERS are drawn out.

[wrinklefudger]

This is a really weird and really minor bit. For context I used to have a white german shepherd named Zelda who would always pee a little when she got excited. I at least think this is what this stems from. I really can't unsee this no matter how much I try because it's frankly just so fucking stupid it's unbelievable. Too stupid even for a gif.
Well, it's somehow stuck in my head that whenever Feferi get's really excit--------ed!!!! she, uh.....pees a little. Just a little. Not enough for anybody to really notice.

WTF WHY IS THAT STUCK IN MY HEAD!?

This fits into my head canon that sea dwellers who never leave the ocean are not entirely toilet trained by the standards of land dwellers (i.e. peeing yourself in public is not a faux pas unless you are on a date, in a formal situation, or in a cramped room, while flatulence on the other hand is humiliating and downright disgusting) due to the fact that they live in liquid and not gas. As a result, feferi would pee her pants frequently in the earlier half of the game out of habit, though it would happen less frequently over time. Eridan didn't have this problem since he lived on the surface.

my fetishes have really warped my head canons

[aPawnAscending]

This fits into my head canon that sea dwellers who never leave the ocean are not entirely toilet trained by the standards of land dwellers (i.e. peeing yourself in public is not a faux pas unless you are on a date, in a formal situation, or in a cramped room, while flatulence on the other hand is humiliating and downright disgusting) due to the fact that they live in liquid and not gas. As a result, feferi would pee her pants frequently in the earlier half of the game out of habit, though it would happen less frequently over time. Eridan didn't have this problem since he lived on the surface.

my fetishes have really warped my head canons

That made a HUGE amount of sense actually. TOO much sense. Yeah, thanks for pretty much legitimizing my ridiculous peecanon. Exactly what I needed.
Also, coupled with your avatar, your post is the best.

[luminousKeytender]

My only regret about reading the above exchange of peecanons is that I am not bothered by it at all.

What has the internet warped me into?