Blast Out The Head-Canon Thread!?

[scintillatingMoniker]

Thanks to a fanfic I wrote once, my headcanon has decided that in his private time, Karkat is a crossdresser.

[HarMegidon]

Thanks to a fanfic I wrote once, my headcanon has decided that in his private time, Karkat is a crossdresser.

HEY, ASSHOLE. STOP WEARING CLOTHES FOR GIRLS.

[colwag]

The text that accompanies each picture is the focus character's personal narration at the time.

Because of this, Jade is seen as giving tons of cruel, direct, blunt insults when she finds it appropriate.

[scintillatingMoniker]

Thanks to a fanfic I wrote once, my headcanon has decided that in his private time, Karkat is a crossdresser.

HEY, ASSHOLE. STOP WEARING CLOTHES FOR GIRLS.

I may have to steal this completely awesome line if I continue said fanfic. x3

[Bellstrom]

Karkat had a brief crush on Jack Noir, thinking his hate towards him was developing a kismesis. Jack was confused, as Dersians don't have such a relationship, or at least one that is actually desirable. And of course, he and Terezi are always screaming.

okay that is now part of my headcanon too

[Greyscale]

Kanaya has eyebrows that are slightly thicker at the ends (facing the nose, not the temples).
Kind of like those 'comma' shaped eyebrows Japanese women used to have, except that's just how they grew naturally.
I blame this update really, but it's fine because it kind of makes sense somehow

[Arcana]

Trolls and humans really are speaking English. Though to trolls it's a second dominant language alongside their native language. Actually both languages may have evolved due to double-mobious reacharound/universe creation shenanigans, as well as Lord English himself manipulating both worlds to speak a language named after himself, hence why English is such a confusing language yet still being very dominant and wide spoken in the era that Sburb is "developed", because it's created by a demon. lol.

[icu2jimy]

I tend to not post in my own threads. I'll change this now.

I visualize all the trolls firmly by my personal size-chart:

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Nepeta -> Shortest
Sollux
Aradia
Tavros
Karkat/Terezi
Vriska
Equius/Kanaya
Feferi
Eridan
Gamzee -> Tallest
Proper would be about here.

I do this because the implications are very funny to me.
Like, the tallest girl goes after the shortest boy, and vice versa (Well, because I ship Gamzee and Nepeta, but...).
Because of this, Eridan seems even sadder.
Also, I use Karkat and Terezi for base heights when drawing.

[egregiousBass]

Trolls and humans really are speaking English. Though to trolls it's a second dominant language alongside their native language. Actually both languages may have evolved due to double-mobious reacharound/universe creation shenanigans, as well as Lord English himself manipulating both worlds to speak a language named after himself, hence why English is such a confusing language yet still being very dominant and wide spoken in the era that Sburb is "developed", because it's created by a demon. lol.

If English is confusing, then which language do you propose is not confusing? Maybe if it were Lord French, you'd have a point =P

I mean, there's a reason English is the second most spoken language in the real world.

[PaulPower]

If English is confusing, then which language do you propose is not confusing? Maybe if it were Lord French, you'd have a point =P

I mean, there's a reason English is the second most spoken language in the real world.

Yeah, it's because it was the primary language of the biggest superpowers of the 19th (Britain) and 20th (America) centuries.

English is a pretty crazy language. Just think about the number of different ways of pronouncing "ough" should give you an idea of how tricky it is for a non-native speaker to pick up. I like it, though: it's a mongrel, but mongrels are often healthier.

[egregiousBass]

English is also the leading language in science because of how good it is. You're citing a minor phonetic detail, but compare with German (the second most prominent language in science) and its overdose of phonemes, especially diphtongues.

Spanish on the other hand has very clear pronunciation and spelling, but involves weird tense shit.

[HarMegidon]

What about Esperanto? It can just be described as taking the good parts of languages and combining them together into one super-language. So it is basically Frankenstien.

[Xesh]

I'll throw my hat in...
All of MSPA is happening. All of every possible outcome has happened, but due to time constraints were only allowed to view one specific timeline. this entire thread has happened solely because the fan-base thought of it. All of MSPA's storyline is still user-driven and to that extent, the end-game has so many varying paths to choose from that it created the Rift. (Or to some extent, reality)

[egregiousBass]

What about Esperanto? It can just be described as taking the good parts of languages and combining them together into one super-language. So it is basically Frankenstien.

Not a super-language as much as a language meant to be accessible to as many people as possible. But this is beside the point; there is no reason why Esperanto would be the language that is spoken in Homestuck, the same way I think English supposedly being confusing is not enough ground to assume it has to do with stupid reacharound shit.

[Arcana]

What about Esperanto? It can just be described as taking the good parts of languages and combining them together into one super-language. So it is basically Frankenstien.

Not a super-language as much as a language meant to be accessible to as many people as possible. But this is beside the point; there is no reason why Esperanto would be the language that is spoken in Homestuck, the same way I think English supposedly being confusing is not enough ground to assume it has to do with stupid reacharound shit.

Why are you taking this so seriously? I'm just basing it on the common joke and complaint about the English language due to it's aphoneticness, lack of consistency, and what this shirt says.

Also in my head canon, Doc Scratch is short, like about 4-5 ft tall.

[Crumplehat]

The salamanders are the most important characters in Homestuck, with their subtle quests for self-identity - but that's not really head-canon, is it? EVERYONE THAT READS INTO THE SUBTEXT OF HOMESTUCK KNOWS THIS TO BE TRUE.

In any event, I needlessly detailed this in another thread over here.

[Tesseract]

Most of the trolls (especially Terezi) have voices that sound real in my head but are completely impossible to translate into actual sound

[Descriptor]

Most of the trolls (especially Terezi) have voices that sound real in my head but are completely impossible to translate into actual sound

This, pretty much.
Although, really, in thinking about it, I'm pretty sure most of them are just variations of my own voice, sorta...
Or maybe I'm just bad at mentally projecting what's in my mind into an understandable state, thus the reason I'm bad at art...
Who knows...

[PaulPower]

I have a habit of thinking that all the Kids have British accents, despite their locations - typically Esturine for John, Home Counties for Rose, Yorkshire for Dave and Lancashire for Jade.

I was also kinda disappointed by the Rose "purple eyes" panel, given my headcanon eye colours are John = Blue, Rose = Grey, Dave = Green and Jade = Brown (for the elemental associations with Air, Water, Fire and Earth respectively). But then, purple eyes are only "mmmmmmmaybe literal?" so I might be okay .

[lakobie]

I wrote a huge one of these ages ago ELEVEN CHAT THREADS AGO that my good friend hatefriend Solaris used as the opening to a MSPA chat thread that made me very happy

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A guy wakes up in his bedroom and has no recollection of who he is but his name is Zoosmell. But then it isn't, and his name is suddenly John which is cool I guess. So then he starts talking to his friend Dave who is awesome and is inserted in every scene ever (just sorta standing in the background like a ninja) BECAUSE HE IS COOL. John is a total movie geek but I guess the movies he watches either aren't that bad or so bad they're good so I guess he just loves the blockbusters that get around 3/10 from the critics like the Naked Gun series which were all awful but worth a mention because I'm pretty sure they all fit on the Hometrapped timeline anyway.
Then John says stuff to TheRapist who sounds like a PRETTY COOL GIRL but she talks in pink so SHES NOT THAT COOL. Pink is the colour of fairy shit which is the least cool thing ever, which is what background ninja Dave said at the time. So John retrieves his arms (!!!!!!!!!!) from this chest along with some other crap that doesn't matter, and goes downstairs. He puts the crap on his face and puts the arms on his new doll which his dad got him for his thirteenth birthday (its basically a life size puppet) with some cake glue which is a waste of perfectly good lie glue and arms if you ask me. He finds his dad's boring random crap and applies it to his face using this weird as fuck inventory system that, even though its apparently been around for quite a while, he doesn't get. Then he shows us he's actually pretty good at piano but instead of taking a good guitar solo and doing on the piano to prove his worth he goes and has a fight with his dad just to get some computer games. He ends up absconding like the wuss he is and loads the game up.
Then some meteor comes and crushes his house but its okay the magic witch saved him on time but guess what THE ONE WHO WIELDS WANDS WISNT WTHE WITCH, no thats GG who gets so excited about stuff and is so girly you're willing to get back to pink text girl to save your soul. So anyway, John gets stuck on a mountain and there're demons to fight so he's basically died and gone to hell but TT is still connected with him but then she isn't. We find out that TT's name is ROSE and her mother is a TOTAL ALKIE so I suppose her name comes from Rose' wine and not her text colour or any deeper meaning. Then Rose magically gets an internet for reaching the highest point of her house, which is the equivalent of 10G and shes all like LOOK MA IM ON TOP OF THE WORLD AGAIN AGAIN just like in Just Cause 2. Some stuff happens, she pretends to be Wario, and then she ends up in her dead cat's grave which is actually an underground tunnel to this place filled with little boxes of energy, so she steals one like the ASBO seeking teen she is. Then she makes a cat and gets the fuck outta there, back to her own house just in time for a super ninja to disappearify her to hell with John, but instead of on a cliff she's in the middle of the ocean which is worse in a way I guess.
Then we find Dave, who is awesome, beating some crows shitless. He lays down some ill beats and shows that puppets are funny in an ironic way but that's because he is awesome and his life is totally a reference to Master of Puppets which is a badass song. He has a fight with his bro and wins, and totally owns his sick puppet bro then gets all the girls (all of them) so he can help Rose get into hell with John, just to make her happy because he's cool like that. But then it turns out there's a meteor headed straight for his house, so he commands his bro to cut the meteor in half (which his bro totally does). Then Dave and Rose meet in real life and all sorts of shippy shenanigans goes on in this time frame before rose ascends to hell once more.
INTERMISSHUN
Some bitch owns all the guys, all of them.
INTERMISSHUN FIN
Sharks and time travel
INTERMISSUN END
Then we meet Jade who, even though Dave's Bro saved him, wants to put Dave through hell so she does it quickly and poof Dave is in hell, but he's in the real hell with lava and stuff because he's keeping it real for us here. Turns out Jade's a girly kind-of-badass with guns and stuff and a dog which is actually the devil himself that adopted her when her dead gandpa turned taxidermised. So when she's not giving two shits about John's vendetta to put her through hell and complete the hell-bent loop of doom, four future guys are wandering around being crazy.
Wayward Vagabond thinks he's a mayor, Parcel Mistress (whose other name I forget) has a mail fetish, Aimless Renegade likes shooting things and Windswept Questant hands out rings and swords and crowns like there's no tomorrow.
Back to the future - a bit animation occurs, where everyone owns and Jade sleeps, then Jade dies in her sleep which is a bit of a buzzkill but oh well. Then you realise real Jade just fell from a tower and you're like OHSHIT!
But then we meet the trolls who are basically
Karrat - Anger management issues
Trzi - Blind
Gamez - High
Tar - Fairy boy
Risca - bitch
Aradigorn - Dead
Equidick - Born freakishly strong but didnt cut it as Supertroll
Thollucth - Bipolar (LAZAR FACE)
Kenya - The only normal one, ends up in tears because she is normal and everyone else is crazy
Catwoman - thinks she is a cat
Fishwoman - thinks she is a fish
Wizardman - thinks he is a wizard BUT KNOWS MAGIC AINT REAL.
And then everyone meets up and enjoys a nice cup of tea and a synchronised chorus of BLUH.
TEH EDN

.....

TEH EDN?

I'm going to rewrite a bigger, better one of these now. Also, Awkward Turtle did it right

Write some books and publish them
You are amazing

[spookysage]

I was also kinda disappointed by the Rose "purple eyes" panel, given my headcanon eye colours are John = Blue, Rose = Grey, Dave = Green and Jade = Brown (for the elemental associations with Air, Water, Fire and Earth respectively). But then, purple eyes are only "mmmmmmmaybe literal?" so I might be okay .

Green Flame, you say? /comicnerd

I think brown for John and Jade, grey for Rose... and I've never even thought about Dave's eyes, embarrassingly enough.

[BobisOnlyBob]

Most of the trolls (especially Terezi) have voices that sound real in my head but are completely impossible to translate into actual sound

My headcanon has them with various accents tied to their typing styles (Karkat shouts, Eridan wavers, Thollux Liithps and Thtammerth, etc.), but renders them all with a bizarre, clicky-scratchy tone to it. Not quite like, say, Saturday Morning TV Villain screechy, but like something metallic or chitinous is part of their vocal chords.

[ArmsAreLoud]

In my head canon Vriska is the tallest troll.

I think it may be because in Make Her Pay she looks really tall in Hero Mode.

[lakobie]

In my head canon Rose has the same voice as mandy from Grim adventures, but a teensy bit happier sounding

[spookysage]

In my head canon Rose has the same voice as mandy from Grim adventures, but a teensy bit happier sounding

Grey DeLisle? Take your pick!