Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[DairunCates]

>LS: But when did you ever listen to your mother?

Are you kidding? You may disagree and rebel sometimes, but there is no one you respect more. Sure, you're terrified of the woman. The stories about her paint a pretty vivid picture. She's a monster. Still, the things she's done for her people and her strong unbreakable will. She's a legend. How could you possibly live up to that as her daughter? She is why you left home, after all.

Maybe that's truly what's so terrifying about this situation to you. Were you in her shoes right now, you might do the same thing.

Still, your mother wouldn't waste a potential resource in a situation like this and neither will you.

LS: KILL RIP TEAR- Wait, no don't. You can't. Remember what you said? The children? They won't be helped by slaughtering DSP. In fact, with one of said children between you two, it'd do the opposite of 'help.' This has to wait. You'll make her realize just what she's done eventually. For now, try to backpedal your rage. Inform DSP that you really, REALLY want to butcher her for what she's done, but you just can't at the moment. For now, try to give her a brief recap over what the situation is with the town, and WHY your mother finding it would be a bad thing for all involved.

DVS: Please, Sunset. I'm sure she didn't mean any harm. Don't hurt her.
LS: She's right. I'm being an idiot, Masa.
DSP: That's just like you. Running away from a fight and chickening out.
LS: There is a lot you don't understand about my escape two years ago, and maybe I couldn't explain it if I tried. There's a lot going on right now too, and you just got caught in the middle. I won't explain everything, but mother showing up here could risk the lives of everyone here. There are a lot of innocent people here that I feel compelled to protect, Masa. I'll fight for them, even if it means going against my mother.
DSP: ...And you want me to abandon my duty to my leader?
LS: I know. It's a lot to ask, but I can't do this without your help. I'll make it up to you. Please. I don't think I could handle going against my own mother and my best friend in the same week.
DSP: Give me one good reason why I should.
LS: I'm not sure I can.

>Laverne: Panic and knock out the girl Ninja-Girl says in responsible for children being in danger. That's sort of the worst thing ever.

TLL: There's a big one, right in front of you.
DSP: I FIGHT THINGS BIGGER THAN YOU FOR BREAKFAST!
LS: Please, Laverne. Just stay out of this. This is my fault.
TLL: BUT-
LS: Just let me handle it.
DVS: Please, Sensei. She's not our enemy.


DSP: Alright. I'll be the bigger man here.
TLL: YOU'RE A MAN!?
DSP: I'll at least give you a chance to give your side of things. I can't promise I'll stay though.
DVS: Thank you, Sensei.
LS: That's all I ask.
DSP: But first things first...


TLL: HEY! WHAT THE BARNACLES!


DVS: What are you doing, Sensei!?
DSP: You want to go against your mother? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOW ME YOU'VE IMPROVED SINCE WE LAST MET! SHOW ME THAT YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT HER! ONLY THEN WILL I HELP YOU!

[Pharmacy]

>LS: Attempt to wuss out. Fail miserably.

[One With Nothing]

LS: be utterly debilitated from that single blow.

TLL: Reaffirm gender suspicions.

[harmoniousExtremes]

LS: Kick her ass.

[Andorxor]

>Lift the big pirat behind you one handed

[Kocel232]

>LS: Headbutt tactic go!

>Onlookers: Start passing about popcorn.

[eerr]

psh now you've had it-

"Fuck's sake, lavern, knock out dsp for now, I've had enough of her shenanigans"

[Shailsnic]

Do it, you need the practice, just make sure you DON'T GO OVERBOARD.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Fight, but not here, there should be someplace nearby you can use.

[DS Piron]

> LS: Can you knock her out as easily as you had killed her?

...you know, back in your imagination

...Wait, She can't help when she's knocked out...

> LSo you have anything to take here out, that's out of her reach, but not enough to kill her?

[goggleman64]

I say propose a challenge. If you can manage to put Laverne's pirate hat on DSP, then that shows you've got what it takes.

> Alternate goal: Stealing DSP's shades.

> Alternate alternate goal: Dressing DSP up as Laverne.

[ShichiNoBushi]

Condition for fight: each must use the technique the other has taught them.

[DairunCates]

>LS: Attempt to wuss out.

TLL: THAT'S IT!
DVS: I think he's serious.
DSP: BRING IT! MAYBE HE'LL GIVE A BIGGER FIGHT THAN SUNSET!
TLL: DON'T YOU MOCK HER!
LS: No, Laverne. We're done. If she doesn't want to listen, she can just continue being stubborn.
TLL: But...
LS: She's stronger than she looks. That punch took a lot out of me, and we'd just cause collateral damage to the town if we fought here.
DSP: IT FIGURES YOU'D RUN AWAY!


>LS: Fail Miserably.

LS: What did you just say?
DSP: OF COURSE YOU'D RUN! IT'S ALL YOU EVER DO! YOU'RE AN EXPERT AT IT BY NOW!
LS: That's not what happened... I... Things were getting difficult.
DSP: WHAT'S THE MATTER, PRINCESS!? COULDN'T TAKE A LIFE OF COMFORT AND HAVING EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATE!? YOU MAKE ME SICK!
DVS: Maybe you shouldn't push her...
DSP: WHAT'S SHE GOING TO DO!? FLEE ME TO DEATH!? MAYBE SHE'LL JUST HAVE A GOOD OLD CRY AND MAKE ME FEEL BAD! OH NO!



LS: Masa, I'm trying to be reasonable here. I suggest you not push me.
DSP: ... OR YOU'LL WHAT!?
LS: I am going to lose my temper, and I'm going to punch you.
DSP: OH NO! HARUKO IS ANGRY AND SHE'S GOING TO PUNCH ME! I'M SOOOOOO SCA-

>LS: Kick her ass.



DSP: WHAT THE HELL!?
LS: I warned you. I literally told you this EXACT thing would happen. What did you think was going to be different? Did you think it wouldn't hurt? I may not be very strong, but I'm still a Hitinja, you idiot. Now, get up.


DSP: THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT!
LS: You mean like surprise decking me in the face?
DSP: THAT WAS A TEST TO SEE IF YOU COULD DODGE!
LS: ...And I was testing the properties of gravity. Guess what? Still works.
DSP: YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER! WELL, HOW ABOUT I-
LS: I wouldn't do whatever you're thinking of doing.
DSP: WHY NOT!?
LS: Because unlike you, I don't care about your little one on one duel, and there's a very angry, very big pirate behind you that is ready to attack on my command.

>DSP: Lift the big pirate behind you one-handed.

DSP: What? This jerk that was handing out popcorn?
Still Not Pete: Look. I think you have me mistaken for my brother.
LS: No. The BIG one.

>TLL: Reaffirm gender suspicions.

LS: Isn't that right, Laverne?
TLL: Don't think I'm afraid to punch a man. I'll do it.
DSP: How did you get back there?
TLL: The audience tends to forget the location of people and objects when not focused on by the camera due to their willing suspension of disbelief and the disorientation visual narrative tends to bring to one's object permanence. Common trick really.
DSP: WHAT!?
TLL: You're not very attentive. I snuck behind you while you were yelling.
Still Not Pete: Please let me down.

>LS: Propose a challenge.

DSP: So what? You're going to just team up on me like cowards? BRING IT!
LS: No. I was hoping we could solve this a little less barbarically.
DSP: HOW!?
LS: I dunno. How about I like try to force you to wear Laverne's hat.
DSP: OH COME ON! YOU'RE A HITINJA! DID YOU THINK I'D FALL FOR THAT!?
LS: A girl can hope.

>LS: Fight, but not here, there should be someplace nearby you can use.

LS: Look. I know you're going to bug me until I just straight out fight you, but I don't want to do any damage to the town. Is there maybe another place less crowded we can do this?
DSP: I know a place just outside of town. Should be perfect for a cinematic final showdown between you and me.
LS: Well, that sounds better, but I'm currently not allowed outside of town, because of being, you know, a ninja government official and all that.
DSP: Why would that be important?
LS: Because this town is full of a certain type of people...
DSP: I'm not following.
LS: No... Of course, you wouldn't. Look. I have to get permission to leave town, but it just so happens that I was planning on talking with the elder later anyway. If you can just wait a few hours, I think I can get his permission to at least leave with an escort. Just like show Desi where it is, and I'll ask her to show me there when we're ready, okay?
DSP: Fine... But you better not run from this, and no extra helpers. Just you and me.
LS: Yes, yes. I know. Just like every fifth day when we were kids.
DSP: EXACTLY! ALRIGHT! I'LL SHOW MY STUDENT THE WAY!
DVS: Right behind you, Sensei.



TLL: That was awkward.
LS: That... actually went a lot better than expected. A lot of my arguments with her end much more violently than that.
TLL: You threatened to kill her...
LS: Yeeeeeeeah. Like I said. Better... So... uh... Change of subject. Anything you wanted to do before we meet with the Elder?
TLL: You still scare me, ninja girl.

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HAPPY 100,000 VIEWS EVERYBODY!

[Razorhead]

>LS: Nope. Straight to the Elder.

[Andorxor]

>LS:Kiss her

[Shailsnic]

>Get the Tengu hanging from the roof down.

[Bloddyredcommie]

>Count the Petes.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

>LS:Kiss her

... her?

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> LS: I'm not sure who, but kiss some chick. Probably on accident.

[goldedge2]

... her?

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> LS: I'm not sure who, but kiss some chick. Probably on accident.

> but make the paragon symbol flash!

[Kocel232]

LS: Find someone who can help you with the absolute clusterfuck this situation has become.

[DairunCates]

>LS: Get the Tengu hanging from the roof down.

LS: Just a bit higher, Laverne.
TLL: Like this?
LS: Yeah. I think I can get her from here. I swear, Masa may be an old friend, but I don't know how she can yell about justice when she's flinging poor innocent young girls onto roofs. And of all the girls, it's that poor sweet girl we met earlier.
TLL: Really? How can you tell?
LS: I could see through the illusion earlier. One of the benefits of training in illusions is seeing through them. Apparently, she's quite the accomplished little Feykinja for a girl her age though. Seriously, though. Masa... I've always had to clean up her messes like this.
TLL: Uh, Ninja girl. My arms are getting sore. Can we save this for later?
LS: Suck it up, you Bishoujo!


???: Huh? What happened?
LS: You just got in a little fight. Don't worry. I've fixed you up. Nothing more than a few bruises.
???: Did someone take my mask?
LS: I'm holding onto it for you. It's not a good idea to rest with that on. Could sleep on it wrong or bruise yourself. Just get some rest, and I'll find someone that can help you with a warm bed. You took quite the hit.
???: But... my mask. I'm a fearsome tengu. That girl that attacked me. Revenge. I need to find her, and show her that I'm the best, and-

>LS: Kiss Her.



LS: I know. But you need your rest first. You're a growing young girl. Now, do you know someone that could help you?
???: Maple.
LS: I'll go ask him if he can get you a bed.


LS: Maple said she's taken naps over here before. He even has a special blanket for her and everything. So, we should be good.
TLL: Uhh... Ninja girl?
LS: Yes?
TLL: Is something wrong? You seem off.
LS: How so?
TLL: Well, I don't know how to put this, but you're being REALLY nice.
LS: Oh come on, Laverne. Even I have my nice side. Besides, I told you. She reminds me of myself at that age.
TLL: Oh, uh... Okay.
LS: Alright. Well, should we go see the elder now?

>LS: Find someone who can help you with the absolute clusterfuck this situation has become.

TLL: Actually, I wanted to go see your sister first. I kinda promised her I'd talk with her later.
LS: Oh. Uh sure. Did you want me to come along?
TLL: Nah. You don't have to. I'll meet you at the elder's later.
LS: Laverne. You don't even know where it is.
TLL: I'll ask for directions.
LS: Please, Laverne. I trust your sense of direction almost as far as I can throw you...

[Beatrice_the_Golden]

[I]
LS: Yeah. I think I can get her from her. I swear, Masa may be an old friend, but I don't know how she can yell about justice when she's flinging poor innocent young girls onto roofs. And of all the girls, it's that poor sweet girl we met earlier.

Its okay, I think someone just subscribes to the Ushiromiya brand of parenting.


TLL: Test the limits of her trust! Have LS throw you.

[Pharmacy]

>LS: Wonder if you are becoming your mother.

[98714123340]

Laverne: Buy something needlessly expensive.

[Andorxor]

TLL:Wonder if you become LSs mother