Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[brainfree]

TLL > Track down LS already, retrieve your pirate "Booty"

[Kiroth6]

TLL: Try to track down LS but fail due to low precision score.

Fixed that for you. Unless you really want TLL to track down himself.

Thanks. His precision score might be low but I don't think its quite so low that he can't track down himself.

[DairunCates]

HOORAY FOR POINTLESSLY LONG COMEDY UPDATES!

>TLL: Try to track down LS but fail due to low precision score.

Hmm... Where could she be?

>LS: Ask around about that pirate bounty you were trying to track down.

Hmm... That may be a dead end now. After all, he probably knows you're looking for him now, and...

Wait... Is that Laverne?

>TLL: Quickly forget that you were going to find someone, and go drinking instead. That's what your boss meant, right?

Well, that didn't help you find her.

>TLL: Try to track down TLL but fail due to low precision score.

This is crazy. She's impossible to find.


She's not here.


Not here, either.


She must be using some kind of technique to hide.


Oh god... He can't possibly be THAT stupid... Can he?


Think. Where was the last place you saw her?


That doesn't seem to be the right Ninja Girl.


You don't want to have to give up, but she may just be too smart to track down.



No. You can't give up. She has to...

"I'm right here, Laverne."

>TLL: Track down LS already, retrieve your pirate "Booty"

HOORAY! You found her. You proceed to level up in stats that are irrelevant to this universe. You should consider asking Boss later about proper leveling up so you can use your newly found Character Points to gain some new techniques. You've seen enough hard combat today to earn some. But hey, you managed to find some buried treasure along your way too. That'll come in handy!


You should've just kept your trap shut.

[Fengar]

>TLL: Grab LS and rush off to the boss as fast as you can.

[Kiroth6]

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TLL: Try to track down LS but fail due to low precision score.

Fixed that for you. Unless you really want TLL to track down himself.

Thanks. His precision score might be low but I don't think its quite so low that he can't track down himself.

...Apparently I was hilariously wrong.

TLL: Realize you didn't hear what HM had to say before you ran off to find LS. Ask LS for further instruction.

LS: Decide on something else you'd rather be doing.

HM: Catch up with LS and TLL and lay down your spiel.

[HarMegidon]

Laverne: Defy the rules of the game and transmute the 200 treasure points into actual treasure.

[DairunCates]

...And Laverne continues to break the fourth wall.

>Laverne: Defy the rules of the game and transmute the 200 treasure points into actual treasure.

Even with your formidable strength and ignorance of the basic laws of the universe, you cannot convert your treasure points to actual treasure.


You'll just have to stick with this lame old mundane magic glowing goblet of mystifying ultimate power that you actually found while you were searching for the party. Man. You never find the good stuff. This stupid thing can't be worth more than a couple of shillings at best.

>TLL: Grab LS and rush off to the boss as fast as you can.

You explain to the Ninja Girl that the boss needs to see her as soon as possible, and that you both need to leave NOW!

"Laverne, wait. I think-"

"THERE'S NO TIME TO THINK! THIS IS URGENT!"


Oh bilge rats. You grabbed her arm... You're blushing... a lot. Curse your bashful nature. Time to make up something to cover.

"I'M NOT BLUSHING! I'M JUST DRUNK! REALLY DRUNK! STUPID DRUNK!"

Smooth. She'll never know.

LS: Decide on something else you'd rather be doing.

Plenty of things come to mind, but unfortunately, putting up with this idiot is part of your contract with "Harold". He's lucky he offered you so much.

"Laverne. I already found him."


"What? Where?"

>HM: Catch up with LS and TLL and lay down your spiel.

"He found me an hour ago. We've been discussing the terms of the job."

"She's agreed to help us. At least, while we're in town."


YES! YOU FOUND THEM ALL! THE NINJA GIRL AND THE BOSS ARE BOTH HERE! YOU'RE THE BEST TRACKER EVER! ON TOP OF THAT, SHE'S JOINING YOUR GROUP! BEST DAY EVER!

"I'm starting to regret taking this job, Harold."

"Me too."

[Bloddyredcommie]

LS: Teach Lavern the first rule of Ninja Stealth: Don't talk. Encourage him to practice it ALOT.

[Fengar]

LS: Teach Lavern the first rule of Ninja Stealth: Don't talk. Encourage him to practice it ALOT.

Tell him that you'll like him a lot if he learns to master it.

TLL: Group hug time!
HM: Explain what you're goal is.

[charcharmunro]

Whole world except Laverne: Facepalm.

[Kiroth6]

Whole world except Laverne: Facepalm.

*facepalms* seconded

[eerr]

We don't have enough people for that!

Author: Import people.

[DairunCates]

>Whole world except Laverne: Facepalm.

GLADLY

>HM: Explain what you're goal is.

You've explained this to Laverne a million times, but he always seems to forget. You suppose that's okay in this case. There's some new details to go over.

A couple of months back, you heard rumors that somewhere in this area lies The Secret to Two-Eyed Pete's Power. Seeing as Two-Eyed Pete is the Great Pirate Hero whose fighting style all modern techniques are based on, this is a pretty big deal, and a lot of people would pay good money for this information. More importantly, by finding it first, you can keep it out of the hands of people that would do some real damage to it.

You've done a bit of research, and it seems that there's been some weird goings on that could easily be connected with the elusive item or effect you're looking for. With any Luck, one of them will give you information leading towards the secret. Life's Sunset and Thud-Lander Laverne have been hired for the express purpose of bodyguards and helping you to blend into Pirate and Ninja towns without raising any suspicion.

Life's Sunset has been given the official title of Second-In-Command. She's going to help you with the tactical and more stealthy aspects of the missions. In the event of your disappearance, absence, or untimely death, Thud-Lander Laverne is to follow her orders until you can once again assume command of the team.

You'll need a few days to prepare. In the meantime, Life's Sunset and Thud-Lander Laverne are free to do some training, shopping for necessary items for survival, or whatever they need to do. For some odd reason, Thud-Lander Laverne calls this "spending character points"

You'll be heading off shortly to get some supplies and a new boat. You'll leave Thud-Lander Laverne and Life's Sunset to their own devices for the time being. If something urgent comes up, you'll send for them.


You decide to celebrate your newly-formed team with a big group hug. Everyone seems to appreciate it.

LS: Teach Laverne the first rule of Ninja Stealth: Don't talk. Encourage him to practice it ALOT. Tell him that you'll like him a lot if he learns to master it.

As your first order as his commanding officer, you command Laverne to start practicing his stealth and give him the extra added incentive of your friendship. He decides to practice it with all his heart and soul for the rest of the day.

What do you do next?

Alright. Just gonna give you guys a bit of free-range here. LS and TLL have earned quite a few Character Points from their last couple of encounters (HM did as well, but considering his already formidable skill level, he didn't earn a whole lot). This can be used to grab some new awesome weapons and gadgets, learn some new techniques, or even train up their attribute scores (ie. Body, Agility, Precision, Will). Some techniques and increasing an attribute score will spend all of these points. If they learn some lower level techniques, they can learn a couple to a few. Items vary wildly based on use.

For LS, since this is a Pirate town, Ninja training is going to be limited (but not impossible to find). TLL will have a lot more choices while in this town. Either one can also seek down Wanderers or teachers that can actually teach some techniques from the other side (but opposite side training takes a lot more effort). So yes. LS can learn some Pirate or Wanderer skills and TLL can learn some Ninja or Wanderer skills.

Anyway. Start putting up some suggestions for what they should do in their downtime.

Also, if you need a reminder of the factions and what they do. I can repost some quick summaries.

[eerr]

Stock up on poor quality booze.

[Xander]

TLL: Totally forget about stealth practice in a few minutes.

[Fengar]

>TLL: At the end of the day show LS how much you've learned about stealth by showing her you can disappear in front of her eyes. Shout "Look over there!" and jump off the dock while she's distracted.

[Entropy Rogue]

TLL: Totally forget about stealth practice instantly.

Fix'd

[Neopie]

HM: Teach Both "Jack Of All Planes" and "Burn Baby Burn"

[Bloddyredcommie]

LS: Use the time to study Pirate behaviors so you can better disguise yourself as one. Also, since you're about to take a sea voyage, better acquire some appropriate gear, a Landlubbers Lifesaver (Helps you float) will be good if you fall off the ship again. Also, a grappling hook (You can throw it). Maybe a Harrpoon Gun in case you need to fight at a range.
LSS: Celebrate with some other Pirates! Wake up the next morning having learned the Drunkaaarrrd Techniques "Roll Out the Barrel", "Three Sheets to the Wind" and "Punch Drunk".
HM: It might be a good idea to learn the Craftsman technique "Taskmaster".

Now, obviously Darian can do whatever she wants with these techniques (if she wants to use them at all) , but here are my ideas for them.

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Roll Out the Barrel: The Drunkarrd grabs anything roughly circular (Barrels, tables, cannonballs, people) and rolls it at a foe like a bowling ball.
Three Sheets to the Wind: The Drunkarrd unleashes a massive belch which generates a powerful gust of wind, deflecting some ranged attacks, blowing down foes who can't hold their ground, ect.
Punch Drunk: A hefty punch, anybody hit by it becomes as inebriated as the Drunkarrd that hit them. Weaker Drukarrds can't use this technique as effectively (The target only gets, say, half as drunk)

Taskmaster: A Crafstman can impart basic skills onto untrained people (Like LS and TLL). While the Taskmaster supervises them, they gain the skills of very low level Craftsmen of the same type. Good if you need alot of simple tasks done quickly.

[Kiroth6]

LS: You're a ninja. Learn to dodge. Having Laverne save you all the time is embarrassing.

TLL: Develop some sort of area shockwave to add to your "Thud"

Now, obviously Darian can do whatever she wants with these techniques (if she wants to use them at all) , but here are my ideas for them.

>Dairun: Quit using avatars for girls!

[OverkillinOliver]

LS: Realize that learning to dodge is a waste of time as long as you remember Lord of Parries. Especially with your agility score. Investing in an item that'll give you Projectile Shots or Reach may be a better idea, because you shouldn't have to get close to Laverne when you feel the need to stab him.

Dairun: Confirm gender!

TLL: Gain Drunkaard skills. As many high-level ones as possible. You have someone to impress with your drunken stupidity!

HM: Acquire a really good helmet of some kind. With recent events being what they are, any more head trauma's probably something you should eagerly avoid. Maybe make it an item of Protection: Bludgeoning?

[Entropy Rogue]

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These shenanigans need fanart.

[Kiroth6]

TLL: Blunder obliviously into the Glee Club. Commence dance fight.

[brainfree]

TLL > Seriously train in keeping silent
LS > Contentiously teach him ninja skills that make him less annoying to you.
TLL > Become the first true full time Pirate Ninja. Be the most awesome person in existence.

[Planet of the Japes]

Dairun: Confirm gender!

Dairun is a guy, assuming this is the same DairunCates of Youtube fame. I highly recommend you check out his youtube channel: I originally found it because of 'worst line in an anime' videos like this one: Second Worst Line in an Anime.

LS: Try to find someone who can teach you 1,000 tiny needles, to give yourself a nice area attack. Maybe a wandering ninja tailor, one who might seek to escape his past life in a pirate town? Also, buy thousands of needles and sequester them in hammerspace.

TLL: Don't waste your life getting drunk! You've got a rare gift of grace and charisma: you ought to learn from the Charreographers. Briefly consider learning 'Footloose and Fancy Free', then realize that it's not really intended for a pirate of your stature. Learn 'Morse Diplomacy' instead because holy crap there's SO much comedy potential H.M. won't always be around to do the talking.

HM: Going with your gut, purchase a 'specific protection' item: A ring of protection vs. dinosaurs, giving 5 damage resistance vs. attacks with the 'dinosaur' element. Also, learn 'Chamomile and Honey', which, in combination with LS's ninja stealth, will increase her hijinx capacity by at least 40%.