Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[eerr]

Use ninja speed to steal his lab coat and doctor thingy with blinding speed, thus forcing him to acknowledge YOU as the doctor by his own criteria. Check and mate.

Hell yea!

Or just rough him up for it.

[swampmist1142]

Use ninja speed to steal his lab coat and doctor thingy with blinding speed, thus forcing him to acknowledge YOU as the doctor by his own criteria. Check and mate.

I think this is the best coarse of action

[Balladeer]

Hell yea!

Or just rough him up for it.

I think this is the best coarse of action

Well I found it funny.

And because I now feel like I have to make a suggestion, >Slice one of his legs in two. Suggest he concentrates on fixing that first.

[OverkillinOliver]

LS: Either do the theft thing Planet of the Japes suggests, or prove your doctor-ness by stabbing the doctor and then healing the wound. Repeat the stabbings and healings until he understands.

Alternatively, LS and HM: Ignore the Pirate who's pretty obviously faking that he is a doctor. You have the precision scores to know.

LS and HM: Rig up a pulley system and use it to turn TLL over.

DSP: Your battle with the weasel king continues, moving into the nearby town and causing additional collateral damage!

[Fengar]

DSP: Your battle with the weasel king continues, moving into the nearby town and causing additional collateral damage!

Don't forget to do a lot of screaming too.

[DairunCates]

>Doctarr: Greg House is a real good Doctor and he has just one harmed leg.This Doctor has lost both legs,he must be the world bests doctor.

They're totally fooled. You might as well be the famous Carpentarr, Gregory "House" himself. You're so cool.

>LS and HM: Ignore the Pirate who's pretty obviously faking that he is a doctor. You have the precision scores to know.

No duh you don't trust him. He might as well look like this to both of your high precision scores.

>HM: Stop being a lazy jerk and help LS lift Laverne. Or a least convince passing drunkkard to do it.

Nah. You're having too much fun messing with her after the horrible verbal thrashing she just gave you. She can squirm a bit. Besides, you've seen Laverne take worse than this before. He'll be fine. She's probably just worried about the poor lug. He has a way of growing on even the most staunch cynic. Besides, you've emasculated yourself enough today. You don't want to get physically shown up by an 18 year-old girl too.

You continue arguing with the "Doctarr".

>LS: Pretty sure its worse for his wound if he's lying on it with it exposed to the dusty grog stained/bloodstained floor, moving a patient is pretty critical for treating them or they'll just get worse, this whole problem is silly!

YOU KNOW THIS IS SILLY! You already have him lifted halfway, you just need a little help. It's not that hard. If ANYONE would give you that extra lift you could do this. God. This has to be the stupidest, most ridiculous thing happening RIGHT now.

>WK + DSP:

You were wrong to underestimate this opponent. It's been a tough fight, and he's been a worthy adversary. He's managed to wear even your hearty form down, and you've outlasted Drunkarrds before. You'll have to do something crazy if you want to come out of this alive.

NO! YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE! YOU HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE WITH HER! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SUMMON ALL YOUR STRENGTH INTO ONE LAST ATTACK!

>LS: Use ninja speed to steal his lab coat and doctor thingy with blinding speed, thus forcing him to acknowledge YOU as the doctor by his own criteria. Check and mate.

As has been shown before, you're not the fastest Ninja around. However, you happen to have your actual Dr. Inja robes on you. You see, this seamstress friend of yours taught you this cool stealth trick where you can sew a second kimono onto the inside of your robes, keep a slit inside, and flip it inside out for quick stealth tricks. All of your spare kimonos do this actually...

...But now's not the time to explain all this. You tell the "Doctarr" that you need his help with "Doctarr Things".


"Could you NOT jab a hook in his face please?"
"Sorry."


WHOO! That silly girl is completely convinced you're a Doctarr. She even let you help her with Doctarr things.


You bet she has NO idea you're really working for the Gamblers to capture her and the Wanderer.


Everyone always talks about how incompetent you are, but not anymore...


That's right! You're the man with all the plans from this day on.


Everyone always forgets about you and calls you a nameless henchman, but not anymore!


Yes. Everyone will remember you now, or your name's not...


Wait... Where did they go?


Oh Bilge Rats...

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Super Special Awesome "Bonus" Panel. Didn't want to redraw it as I already was way past the part where I rendered this one before I realized my mistake, but I thought it was nifty enough to not leave out entirely.

[Fengar]

>Doctarr: Join up with JA to plan your revenge.
Everyone: Board the ship and set sail.

[Kiroth6]

DSP: Your battle with the weasel king continues, moving into the nearby town and causing additional collateral damage!

Don't forget to do a lot of screaming too.

DSP: Loud as Hades Lightning attack

Spades & Gun Gambler: Send a report to your boss

HM, TLL & LS: Scene change to the next phase of the adventure.

[DairunCates]

Not an update. So, keep suggesting, but I needed a quick 10 minute break from preparing my lesson plan for tomorrow and decided to scribble a 6 Year-old LS real quick. Some of the proportions are a smidgen off since I'm not used to drawing small kids yet, but I thought it was cute enough to share.

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DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW! Lookit the little ninja princess. They grow up into horrible killing machines so fast.

Maybe I'll add the pirates she just beat up in the background later. I suppose I could do a 6 year-old Laverne, but I get the feeling he'd look like a really weird adult pirate since he'd have to be like 5 feet tall.

[Entropy Rogue]

LS- keep the Dr. Inja kimono on because it looks better

TLL- GET THAT SHIRT MENDED THIS INSTANT!

HM- "Let's get on with this, shall we?" but say it in a smarmier way.

[One With Nothing]

JA: Give the bunny assassins their nums. Look upon them with adoration, reminiscing about the death of your parents that one fateful night.

Weasel King: Put your blue teeth back on and call in the Weasel Ninja Strike Force. You'll need their help if you want to come out on top. I mean, she started at LIGHT PURPLISH!

Doctarr: They didn't believe your true medical prowess. Beat down a bar patron and then heal him to full with your red-hot poker and gruff singing voice to reaffirm yourself of your own abilities.

Bar Owner: Your employer's marks are getting away. Infinite Sword Jobs!

TLL: Look upon LS with adoration, reminiscing about the death of your parents that one fateful night.

HM: Remember that your parents are safe and sound in a Craftsman retirement home. Make a mental note to check up on them soon and bring a gift.

LS: Be dumbfounded at how hard TLL will be thinking.

[DairunCates]

Curse you, commands that make me want to make references! Curse you to heck! Alright. Just a quicky, then ACTUALLY back to REAL work.

>LS: keep the Dr. Inja kimono on because it looks better

This surely isn't a thinly veiled attempt on your part to slowly become a female version of your favorite Hitinja of all time.

[OverkillinOliver]

Bilge Rats: Be insulted that the peg-legged pirate used you as part of an expletive. Request Juan Allosaurus's assistance in bringing justice upon the "doctarr".

[Andorxor]

DSP: Its time to use it.You swear you will never use, because you could die from shame when she finds out you used it,but you must survive.

[Entropy Rogue]

Heh the reference actually never crossed my mind. Besides, he's a SAMURAI, which is essentially the OPPOSITE of a ninja.

[DairunCates]

>TLL: GET THAT SHIRT MENDED THIS INSTANT!

You fix your shirt out of pure force of will. DEVLISH DUBLOONS, YOU'RE AWESOME!

>TLL: Look upon LS with adoration, reminiscing about the death of your parents that one fateful night.
>HM: Remember that your parents are safe and sound in a Craftsman retirement home. Make a mental note to check up on them soon and bring a gift.
>LS: Be dumbfounded at how hard TLL will be thinking.

Actually, your mom is just fine. You visited her a couple of weeks ago. She made some REALLY good cookies too.

Of course, your parents are still alive. Your dad is half the reason you got so high in ranking in the Gamblers in the first place. They could never hope to take him out without your help. Actually, most people have living parents nowadays unless they're right in the middle of the great Pirate/Ninja warzones. There hasn't been a mass orphaning for a while now. You guess all the Parent-Killing Bandits are either dead or hiding.

WHAT THE FUJIYAMA!? WHAT ARE THESE AKUMAS DOING STANDING AROUND AND REMINISCING ABOUT FAMILY FOR!? YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO!

Besides, you REALLY don't want to think about your OWN family right now.

>JA: Give the bunny assassins their nums. Look upon them with adoration, reminiscing about the death of your parents that one fateful night.

The bunnies madly nom their nums.

You don't remember your parents. The animals of the forest have always been your only family. That's why you swear to protect the animals of the world with your very life from those that would harm them.

>Bilge Rats: Be insulted that the peg-legged pirate used you as part of an expletive. Request Juan Allosaurus's assistance in bringing justice upon the "doctarr".

Everyone needs a protector. Even the lowly Bilge Rat.

>Doctarr: They didn't believe your true medical prowess. Beat down a bar patron and then heal him to full with your red-hot poker and gruff singing voice to reaffirm yourself of your own abilities.

You're quickly kicked out for your attempts to prove your awesome medical prowess. Now where are you going to find someone to show off to?


Hmm... That's weird. You swear you've seen this guy around the Mistress' office before. What's he doing here and why's he randomly bleeding?

>DSP: Its time to use it.You swear you will never use, because you could die from shame when she finds out you used it,but you must survive.

YOU... YOU JUST CAN'T... SHE'D NEVER LET YOU LIVE IT DOWN IF SHE SAW AND YOU KNOW SHE'S IN TOWN. NO. YOU'D RATHER DIE. THAT TECHNIQUE IS JUST SO SNEAKY AND UNDERHANDED AND DOESN'T FIT WITH YOUR SHONINJA HONOR. THE ONLY OPTION IS TO GO DOWN LIKE A MAN. BUT NOT JUST A MAN. A WO-MAN!

>DSP: Loud as Hades Lightning attack

YOU CHARGE UP THE LOUD AS HADES LIGHTNING ATTACK (or LAHLA for short). THIS IS YOUR SECOND MOST POWERFUL TECHNIQUE. IT CHANNELS PURE LIGHTNING ENERGY INTO YOUR HAND. IT'LL TAKE A SECOND TO CHARGE UP, BUT IT'S GOING TO CAUSE SOME REAL PAIN AND COLLATERAL DAMAGE WHEN IT HITS.

>Weasel King: Put your blue teeth back on and call in the Weasel Ninja Strike Force. You'll need their help if you want to come out on top. I mean, she started at LIGHT PURPLISH!

You would if you could, but the terms of the summoning pact insist on a one on one fight. Honestly, you don't know why this young lady ever asks you to fight WITH her since that's the POINT of summoning rituals. Oh well. She seems to want a fight so you'll have to give it your all in one last attack. This usually ends with some kind of cool special effect.

>HM: "Let's get on with this, shall we?" but say it in a smarmier way.

"Well, that was all pretty easy. Who wants to go fight a demon of legend?"

What do you do?

[eerr]

Celebration! katanas upraised!

[Fengar]

>Weasel King: Eye laser beams!
JA: Train the bilge rats to be ninja bilge rats,
TLL: Get lost on the way to the ship.
HM: Surreptitiously pocket a nearby piece of wood that may or may not be the Enigmatic Trickster.

[HarMegidon]

The Last Parent-Killing Bandit: Go orphan-making.

[Chookster]

awww i wanted the fake doctarr to join up with Juan.

>Victory dance!

[Bloddyredcommie]

Head to your new ship and make sail!

[DairunCates]

>Weasel King: Eye laser beams!

One last crack of lightning strikes dramatically before the insane girl in front of you charges with her attack; her eyes glowing like a demon. It all comes down to this.

"THIS ENDS NOW! LOUD AS HADES LIGHTNING ASSASSINATION TECHNIQUE!"

>JA: Train the bilge rats to be ninja bilge rats.

Being born on the rough streets and the bottoms of boats, they adjust quickly to becoming blood-thirsty assassins. Thankful for your expert training, they decide to join you as permanent allies. Your army grows ever stronger.

>The Last Parent-Killing Bandit: Go orphan-making.

You just don't have it in you anymore. Even if you did have the desire to go orphan-making again, it'd be impossible to form a band again. After the thrashing your band got so many years ago by YOU KNOW WHO, NO ONE will come back for fear of being beaten again. You're not sure you could spare a second eye either. The days of the classic evil rogues just seems to be over. You think it might be time to turn over a new leaf.


You lie on the ground. Your arms and legs are bruised and beaten to complete disuse. It was a good try...


...BUT NO WEASEL KING OR EVEN WEASEL EMPEROR WILL STOP YOU FROM YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL, AND ONLY ONE PERSON IS ALLOWED TO DEFEAT YOU!

>Victory dance!

You and Laverne get a good laugh over Harold's last line. Something overcomes all of you and you feel that you should just take the time to start breaking out into a joyous dance party. This might strike some people as strange seeing as your fight has been over for at least a few minutes, but none of you care. This is your moment.

"Heh. But seriously. Are you guys okay with fighting a demon? Because if not, I'll just find another job."


"Did I say something wrong?"

What do you do?

[Xander]

Demons usually protect all sorts of valuable loots. Though... They are pretty powerful.

[Andorxor]

I have no problems with the demon part,it is the legendary thats worry me.

[Eldrake]

>What sort of Demon are we talking about? Imp-level pathetic, or Demon Lord-level overpowered?