Hivebent: The Radio Play

[nextian]

I'd love to do all of Homestuck. Right now I was just focusing on Hivebent because it's a manageable size, but it'd be soooo awesome if we did the whole thing. Radiation is the ultimate Dave, I don't know if he'd be interested? (Tenebrais did a fantastic British Dave. But he is definitely British Dave.)

[Random Encounter]

@nextian: Well, that's what background music and sound effects are for. I was just going to let Equius agree with the narration for once, but that was pretty good too. Anyways, here's what I have for the rest of the Equius part.

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EQUIUS: No, I need a drink. Now where did that craven excuse for a custodian go. It makes me furious when he goes missing like this. Probably off somewhere nursing his bruises. I swear, the old boy is made of glass. I am starting to get agitated.

Aurthour! Where are you???

Oh, there he is. He was just preparing an ice cold glass of nutritious LUSUS MILK for me, with a thick foamy head on it, just the way I like it.

Narrator: You cannot hope to beat Aurthour in a butler-off. He is simply the best there is.

You accept the frosty beverage and give the good fellow a grateful pat, as gently as possible.

SFX: patting/slapping sounds

SFX Voice : Bruise

NARRATOR: Seriously, he's like a soft summer peach.

SFX: Drinking sounds

EQUIUS: Lusus milk is the secret to being STRONG.

NARRATOR: Actually it isn't. You like to think that though. The truth is you're really strong because you're kind of a freak. You were chosen by one of the strongest lusus species on the planet. It was the only sort of custodian that could handle raising you.

SFX: Glass breaking

NARRATOR: Whoops there goes the glass, as usual.

SFX: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

NARRATOR: And as usual, it sends you into a rage. The spilled milk quickly evaporates.

EQUIUS: Got to do something to calm myself down. Let off some steam. I know, I'll Equiup a bow.

NARRATOR: You mean equip.

EQUIUS: No, I don't.

NARRATOR: A little archery practice ought to cool you off. But of course the piece of shit snaps like a twig the moment you pick it up.

Actually, the feel of the brittle wood giving way under the astonishing might of your mangrit is starting to calm you down already.

You equip it to your 1/2BOWKIND SPECIBUS, which is pretty much useless.

You also keep a plain old BOWKIND SPECIBUS in the event that you are able to fire an arrow some day. Because a boy can dream, right?

But for more practical purposes, you keep a FISTKIND card on hand. You stow them all in your STRIFE PORTFOLIO.

Remember the STRIFE PORTFOLIO? It still exists. It didn't stop existing or anything.

You proceed to have a conversation we read not all that long ago. It went mostly like this.

CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no

NARRATOR: But when all was said and done, you are quite sure you convinced your good friend to stay on the right team. Not the team full of degenerates with swill coursing through their veins. You're starting to get worked up again.

Routine helps calm you down. Maybe you will talk to another friend. You talk to him every day for some reason. Though it's not exactly right to call him a friend, since you despise him. Your relationship with the fellow is difficult to describe.

[Solaris]

Okay, I can see it. We can skip the be the last girl thing and go straight to What nextian posted after Vriska's scene.
I will finish Terezi's scene and then move on to another character.
Oh, and by the way...
DIBS ON GA!!!
Which means, if it is coolsies with you guys, I will finish Terezi's scene and at the end of this next part of the story, adapt Kanaya's

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NARRATOR:Yes, could take forever,

KANAYA:Hello there.

NARRATOR:Or maybe not.

sfx:typing

NARRATOR:Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

KANAYA:Oh, I don't actually hunt them, that would be far too dangerous. It would be as suicidal astrying to poach a MUCLEBEAST. I simply indulge in my fascination with the grim through literature.

NARRATOR:Really?

KANAYA:Just before the sun goes down and I join your flora in rest, I immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

NARRATOR:Wow, okay then.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.
Okay, i can't take it what is with all of the... atmosphere?

KANAYA:Pardon?

NARRATOR:All of the other places I have been to have been so gray.

KANAYA:Oh that. You see I am one of the few of my kind who's affection for the aesthetic strongly overpowers instinctive regard for the utilitarian. As such, I have developed a rare zeal for FASHION and DESIGN and LIVELY COLORFUL PATTERNS. My hive is decorated with FLORA and FABRIC, as delicately or aggressively as inspiration demands. I am a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever I care to be, and myunique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate my interests.

NARRATOR:The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since.

KANAYA: Correct. The ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of my dreams. One day I will visit this world while I awake. That day is today.

NARRATOR:Your trolltag is grimAuxiliatrix and you Tend To Enunciate Each Word You Speak Very Clearly And Carefully

What will you do?

[diacritical]

This looks like a lot of fun! I'd totally love to do a voive for this, although I'm not quite sure which. If you need any help, let me know!

[ZingDev]

we should probably start making audition list for the remaining characters :0

[Teleharmonic]

nextian, if you weren't already my hero, you would totally be my hero.

And, VeggieBLT, thanks for the vote of confidence, but... I've never voiced Dave? *confusion*

A thought: How shall we standardize our pronunciations? There are a lot of different takes on these wacky Alternian names...

[TheAngryBeard]

One Spades Slick inner monologue, coming up.

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sfx: moody jazz playing in background

SLICK: You find the kid you've been looking for. He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He should learn up front you're no stranger to sharp objects yourself.

sfx: scuffle, stabbing noise

SLICK: He still won't shut up. He doesn't seem to care about the wound. He's just going on and on about the freakish color of his blood. He doesn't want you to look at it. 'Just look away,' he says. You've got to admit. Now you're curious.

(pause)

SLICK: You don't see what the big deal is. Nothing special. This kid's out of his mind. But he's still blubbering on and on about it. It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up...

sfx: knife slicing carapace (whatever the hell that sounds like)

[Von Fawn]

@VeggieBLT: The voice of Rose for the rest of eternity? Wow, thanks! I'm glad you like it!

@Teleharmonic: I think he meant John, lol.

As for pronunciation, I could record myself saying all the names and post it here, and people can either say: "Yeah, that works," or "Von Fawn you're full of shit, this is how I've been saying it," and from there we figure out what works best? Then I can record the official pronunciation to serve as a guide.

(Also, regarding casting, can I submit myself for Snowman/BQ, if she ends up having any lines in this shindig? I do so love her.)

[Red Pen]

If there's a list of characters that still need voices, I'd audition. I'm not the greatest voice actor, but I have a pretty good mic and it would be fun to try.

[kmsumrall]

Man, voicing something would be cool. Maybe I'll do a doc scratch.

Edit: I'd love to do any character, tho

[fishsicles]

I can do almost any male character, on account of the fact that I have ALL OF THE VOICES. ALL OF THEM. Well, except for girls but that is because even my mutant voicebox has its limits. I have done female voices before, and it was compared to an orchestra of first-day violinists, bagpipes, and people scraping their nails on a chalkboard. I have nothing done up yet because I am presently on vacation and separated from most of my sweet gear back home in MN. I will post some general auditions for whoever I feel like doing roundabout Monday night.

I feel like if we can get Tynic to do spooky Aradia she should TOTALLY DO spooky Aradia. Except then this would have to be a musical.

Homestuck: The Musical is highly relevant to my interests. Well, the interests of two thirds of me at least. The crazy and for-the-lulz parts. The rational stoic part runs and hides when I log onto the fora so I suppose that means I am behind this idea 100%! I am also not able to sing at all, so I would actually be vestigial...

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Still only glancing through the thread, but it sounds like something is being brought together? I see something about auditions, etc...

[VeggieBLT]

nextian, if you weren't already my hero, you would totally be my hero.

And, VeggieBLT, thanks for the vote of confidence, but... I've never voiced Dave? *confusion*

A thought: How shall we standardize our pronunciations? There are a lot of different takes on these wacky Alternian names...

Goddammit, I mean John

[Random Encounter]

Here's Sollux's fakeout.

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SOLLUX: In fact, we are in such a hurry, you could almost say we need to get moving...

On the double.

NARRATOR: (pause and deadpan) Yeah.

There's this pretty cool dude, ok? Some people seem to think he's cool.

SOLLUX: Sometimes. I guess they're right. I mean, maybe. If they say so. Actually, you know what? They're right. This guy's dynamite lit in a box of hot shit. Screw the haters.

NARRATOR: Anyway, he's standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes, when they're not moping around or nursing migraines or whatever. A cool dude like this probably has a real cool name. Or at least a name that doesn't completely fucking suck. Like at least not the kind of name that belongs to someone you'd want to just perpetually wail on. Maybe just a name that makes you cringe a little, but you guess you can deal with it if you've got to. It's just a guy's name, it's not like it really matters.

SOLLUX: Who cares? But he probably wouldn't just tell you what it was if you asked. He'd be way too moody for that. In fact, this guy probably thinks you've got some attitude and probably doesn't want a damn thing to do with you.

You could always try to guess his name. But instead of that, here's a better idea. Why don't you just fuck off and go to hell?

(long pause)

NARRATOR: Here, name this kooky broad instead.

Ok, what's her name?

SOLLUX: In background Hold on for two seconds.

NARRATOR: Wait...

SOLLUX: Look, I flipped my shit, and I didn't really mean to. I was acting like an immature grubsuck who get's his jollies from flinging his own sickly refuse on to other people's hive walls. I just kinda do that sometimes and it's something I just need to deal with. Look, can we just do this thing?

NARRATOR: You've got to be kidding me.

Looks like we're going back to the other guy again. Alright, hang on...

Also, what's everybody's opinion on music cues? I'd like to get Radiation's and Eidolon Orpheus' tracks as BGM, but I'm a little worried that they might be wary of us using them this close to their album releases.

EDIT: Also, about pronounciation, I know the majority pronounces Matesprit as Mate-sprit, but I'm pretty sure it's a portmanteau of Mate and Esprit so it should probably be more like Mate-esspree.

[Solaris]

I really think that using the Who's YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH would be funnier there.
Also, I think that having Nepeta say somthign about being left behind like that would be funny too.
Also, in the last part of the continuin Equius

NARRATOR:Routine helps calm you down. Maybe you will talk to another friend. You talk to him every day for some reason.
EQUIUS:It's not exactly right to call him a friend, since I despise him. My relationship with the fellow is difficult to describe.

Because there should be less narrator IMO.

[Random Encounter]

Hmm... we might be able to compromise on the YEAH part. Such as putting in the Who riff, but with the narrator mocking the YEAH in disgust instead. Because as much as the internet loves it's Horatio moments, it does tend to be overused.

I like the Equius suggestion, but we can't have too little Narrator either. He is the only sane man in the room, after all.

[Solaris]

Yes, but he is ALWAYS in the room, and he gets a lot more words when he has to explain all of the BS when there are no characters to do so.
(Like the series of updates that preceded our new intro, buuuuuut, I think I know how to fix that, I just can't now, because I have to go.)

[Frankie the Tomboy]

I feel bad for being so late tot he party! ):

My accent is a bit of a setback as it's quite unusual and low-pitched (Welsh accent) but I would like to be a part of this. However, if a weird accent would ruin it, I don't wanna be the downfall of us all! Maybe I could be a background... Something. :S Also I have a rocket going BOOM soundfile on my PC (I don't even know how) if anyone would like.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

I usually imagine myself as more of a Dave, but I thought I'd try out Equius. If uh, you guys are running with something here that is.



It's from this page: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004062

[TheAngryBeard]

Equius = Darth Vader? Awesome.

[Awkward Turtle]

I usually imagine myself as more of a Dave, but I thought I'd try out Equius. If uh, you guys are running with something here that is.



It's from this page: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004062

You kinda sound like Professor Snape.

Not necessarily a bad thing, but not really what I thought Equius would sound like...

[Solaris]

Okay, you know how because of the speedy nature of HiveBent, there are a lot of parts that are just long walls of text?
I know that we have an awesome Narrator and that this pretty much exists just because of him, but... doing all of this narration will have to be burden on him.
SO
My idea, for the parts where we get various LONG WALLS OF TEXT
Like the one on Troll/Lusus relationship, GUEST NARRATOR!
Basically someone outside of Hivebent narrates that one part along with their own parts.
So, yeah... just a thought.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Well, I imagine Equius as having a deep voice because he's so strong. I have kinda an unintentional british thing going on in there I think; I just meant to make him sound higher class. It's how I imagine Equius sounding.

[Teleharmonic]

I'm with the "doesn't sound like Equius, does sound like badassery" crowd.

For myself -- I'll be happy to voice Doc Scratch, naturally, if folks would like me to, but... I dunno, bit of actor-ego talking maybe, but it'd be nice to have something more to do, either behind or in front of the scenes. I've already tried out Tavros, Equius, and Karkat, but I think we're already very well set for those roles; and we seem to have turned up a crackerjack Narrator.

I wonder what cA will be like...

[Sigh]

If there's anything I could do, I'm willing to help.