SNATCHER (SS Let's Play)

[Superfrequency]

Because it's the future, genious!

[Nopad]

Obviously, it is because things change color spontaneously in the future. Genious.

Because it's the future, genious!

Same brainwavelength.Or is that… brainfrequency????

[Wesley Foxx]

Because it's the future, genious!

[Superfrequency]

It's part of the forum's vocabulary, it is.

[Nopad]

But

[Fakeimposter]

Oh just got around reading the latest update.
Good stuff!

[Superfrequency]

Ok, it's been like six weeks. I don't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing in this game.

I'll figure it out.

[LeoModesto]

Woot

[Superfrequency]

Update later tonight. Because the game always shuts me out of doing things I know I need to and doesn't tell me why there may be a lot of dicking around until I figure out exactly what the game will let me do at this point.

[Dacen]

I am just revisiting this thread, and I wanted to thank you for posting this because I that Saxophone so much.

After a little bit of research I found the sheet music that someone photographed for this tune, so I'll see if I can work it up with a sax player friend of mine.

[Superfrequency]

Let's continue playing Snatcher. When we last left our hero protagonist that guy you gotta play as, he was busy being a shitty detective. Let's get back to that, shall we?

Ever wonder what J.U.N.K.E.R. stood for?



Oh really. Well how do you like this?



The PDD being the pretend display.

See game, I can make up stupid shit off the top of my head, too.



I think you mean the COUCH ARCHETYPIFIER.

It's like you're new to this or something.

There's still nothing to do at HQ, but the game has decided that I am worthy enough to advance in the story now by allowing me to do things that I could have done earlier but was not given the option to for NO REASON. And by things I mean get into Outer Heaven.

If you will recall, I need a mask from Plato's Cavern to get into the masquerade.



Where's my mask Jawa



Hand-made except for the fact that last time I asked you you told me they were precision-tooled with fucking lasers.

Does Rick Bakery have LASERS for hands? IS HE EDWARD FUCKING LASERHANDS?!




I think giant stone heads are way cooler than musty old dead guys, but I will let you decide. Post your pick.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

If I could have a custom title, it'd be Edward Fucking Laserhands

[LegoTechnic]

Go with mummy, because Gillian isn't cool enough for Easter Island, and he might as well get a start on treating his obvious head trauma by wrapping his head in gauze.

[Nopad]

Moai, because of

[Superfrequency]

What the fuck.

It's a dead heat! We need a tiebreaker.

[Miraculous]

Mummy. Because he might need those bandages.

[Norivia]

Fffffiiiiiiiiiine moai

[mr. please-please]

Gonna break this new tie with Moai

[Superfrequency]

Norivia's vote doesn't count because I made him do it and then was like ok don't actually do it and he did it anyway so now it is an actual tie.

[mr. please-please]

Aww man

Someone else be tiebreaker please.

[Floirt]

Alright let's do this

How about moai

[Superfrequency]

It's more or less even money, so I followed my heart




"It really accentuates your broad, flat forehead and gigantic nose"

"Oh, you're ... not wearing it yet"

Enough dicking around. Let's get into da cloughb.




"Oh, you ... haven't put it on yet"

I'm on the list. Check "Cardiff Giant".



I swear that is the one thing I will absolutely not do under any circumstances.



My toaster will require a booster seat.



And not as characters from popular copyrighted films and television series, as some villainous rogues would have you believe!



This statement will prove highly embarrassing in about thirty seconds.



The bartender.



I just thought I would share this particular tidbit since like all plot points the game repeats it ad nauseum until you want to kill yourself. VERY IMPORTANT, DON'T FORGET!!!

The writers are extremely proud of the story they have constructed, as moronic and nonsensical as it may be, and they will not let you forget anything they think you need to know for a second. Even and often if it results in forcing you to talk to people so they can tell you they don't know anything for x reason that you already know or you can't progress in the game.

Moving right along, who's in attendance tonight?



Ok, there's Sparkster representing Rocket Knight Adventures, Goemon from Ganbare Goemon, Mr. Ueda is from Lethal Enforcers, Cont-

WAIT A MINUTE

CONTRA?! Uh, their names aren't Contra, that's the name of the game! How do you fuck that up with your own game?! Utterly inexcusable.

Unfortunately, investigating these guys does absolutely nothing. So let's talk to the manager.



You know, that video game that doesn't exist?

It is actually a Frank Zappa song, but I don't know how it is possible to recognize a character from a song.

And no, it is not a song about a four-eyed man-brain. Or ... a man-brain with a quadruple bubble wand stuck to his ... um ... frontal lobes.

I should mention now that when you use the INVESTIGATE command on people, the game tends to interpret that as physically "investigating" them. And well ...



Yes, very much so!



Oh god.



This game is like Japan violating my brain through my eye sockets and laughing unapologetically.

Just ... just tell me what you know about Gibson, fiend!



ACK ACK ACK!

This game is so tediously designed. POSSESSIONS > SHOW > PHOTO.



Then why'd you ask for a photo?

Does anybody in this damn game know anything about anything? MASQUERADE. IDENTIFYING PEOPLE WEARING MASKS IS TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. DON'T FORGET!

Why don't you tell me about that dancer I don't care about but who is obviously plot important because the game won't shut up about her?




The stripping business, presumably. I may as well show you the rest of my inventory, you unhelpful clod. Starting with THIS



I'm here to break up your implausible buffalo ring, unimportant unnamed ancillary character!

Oh HO! What now, are you gonna kick me out?



GOD DAMNIT






God damnit.

One stupid mistake and the game denies me a whole area. Fuck you, Kojima.

Next time: We go somewhere else, because the game will not let me back in until I do, even though this is my only lead and there is nothing else to do.

I'm sorry if you find me actually making jokes more entertaining than just raging at the game, but it is seriously frustrating and idiotic in its design. It is unquestionably one of the most stupidly designed games I have ever played. If it wasn't for the somewhat improved controls on the Sega CD port it would not be worth bothering with at all.

Because my rage is causing me to lose focus, next update I will do a story and investigation recap so we're all on the same page.

[LegoTechnic]

Hey now, he warned you not to show your ID.

Just wander the city streets and maybe pester your ex-wife--it doesn't take long for them to forget about you and let you back in.

[Superfrequency]

My dang fail stamp looks dumb with this dark forum skin D|

I don't have anything better to do, so I guess I will play some more Snatcher.

EDIT: The music in Outer Heaven qualifies for some of the worst music in a video game ever. Despite the game's otherwise outstanding soundtrack, some FUCKNUGGET thought it would be a great idea to have some guy saying "what are you doing later?" on loop every six seconds.

[mr. please-please]

I checked out the music in Outer Heaven to see if it was actually THAT bad.

It kinda is.

[Superfrequency]

I checked out the music in Outer Heaven to see if it was actually THAT bad.

It kinda is.

It's not bad for like two minutes.

It becomes insufferable when you have been in the club for twenty minutes and you have to take a screencap of every line of dialog.

What's frustrating is the music itself is good, like all of the other music in the game, but they added chatter over it for the NTSC release.