Omegle

**grammish** · 09-12-2009, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by Fyvush

Do you have any feelings about this matter, Internet? Do you think that this is the most reasonable way to satisfactorily resolve it? Or can you think of some superior course of action?

I feel that I represent the whole of the internet when I say to you the following:

Do a barrel roll!

**saltywaters** · 09-12-2009, 11:25 PM

Grammish, that was quite good.

**Leaf** · 09-12-2009, 11:52 PM

Fun.

**grammish** · 09-12-2009, 11:54 PM

These things just write themselves.

**saltywaters** · 09-13-2009, 12:02 AM

If I am remembering correctly, That was Venture Brothers. Am I right Leaf?

**Portals** · 09-13-2009, 12:38 AM

This one was really weird...

**Miraculous** · 09-13-2009, 02:59 AM

I'm a social person.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Here we go again.
Stranger: r u normal?
You: Well, that depends on your definition of normal.
You: If by normal, you mean I stalk people on the streets at night, slowly creepy up upon them with them even noticing and peek over their shoulder with a wicked grin upon my face, then yes, I have been arrested for being normal.
Stranger: i guess not
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I've even tried being up front.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
You: Let me see...
Stranger: how r u?
You: My name is not asl, my webcam is not open to your viewing pleasure, I do not want cybersex and I will not show you my tits.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I can see where this one's coming from, I'm scared of commitment as well.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: Hi
You: Hello. How do you feel about long term relationships?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

**Sruixan** · 09-13-2009, 03:11 AM

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Now, before we start, I must ask a question.
You: Are you here to have a serious disscussion, or to have a silly and hopefully funny exchange?
Stranger: wat
Stranger: i cant be serious
You: Good. I don't think I could act too seriously right now either.
You: So, erm, your call.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hello?
You: Sorry for the delay, I'm just tearing my hair out at having once again been asked "asl" in a worryingly immature manner that shows that not only are you unable to communicate properly with a human being, you're also one whose only thoughts pertain to finding hot young men/women on an internet chat site for strangers.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: sdiughiaeurkmnasdbf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*sigh*

**Marelo** · 09-13-2009, 03:13 AM

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: OH FUCK YOU GUYS I FOUND HIM
You: TAG AND BAG
You: TAG AND BAG
You: INITIATE CAPTURE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My team obviously acquired the target.

This one was kind of fun:

**michi** · 09-13-2009, 04:31 AM

I just had about an hour-long chat with some GENIUS 18-year-old also in Australia about taxes, land rights, costume design, economics... it was totally awesome. It was like we were already friends.

Edit: actually based on Marelo's time stamp it was more like 1.5 hours.

**Doomwaffle** · 09-13-2009, 08:46 AM

Stranger: Hello

You: WHEN I SAY WHAT YOU SAY WHAT
You: WHAT
Stranger: what
You: IN THE BUTT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

These things DO write themselves.

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 09:34 AM

In my second run, I ended up speaking gibberish.

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 09:40 AM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: heya,
Stranger: soooo....
Stranger: who's life?
You: My baby don't mess around because she loves me....
You: I forgot the rest of the song.
Stranger: ok champs.
You: About Life.... I think he's a Canadian actor.
Stranger: oh,
Stranger: i don't know
You: Yk.... Life Helmens?
Stranger: where r u fom?
You: American.
You: From the States.
Stranger: ok
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is getting awesome.

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 10:38 AM

Meanwhile my sister went on it for her first time and got a friend from China.
I barely got any conversation!
My Life Is Pathetic!

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 10:49 AM

Just proving again that I have no ability to have a normal conversation!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: hello
You: Note to self: do not start conversatuions with deep statements.
You: Hello!
You: This is a nice room you've got here.
You: So... white.
You: wait...
You: where are you from?
You: Now I'm just talking to myself.
You: Are you still there?
You: Hi.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Please help! I'm going insane!

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 11:05 AM

I just went broke and typed whatever.
YTMND seemed fun.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
You: Have you hear of Moskau?
Stranger: yes ofc ^^
Stranger: why asking ?
You: Let's dance on the tables untill that table breaks.
You: La la la la la la la.
Stranger: yeah
You: Ho ho ho ho ho
You: HEY!
You: Moskau!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

**ZeeDiKay** · 09-13-2009, 11:11 AM

I feel I wasted an opportunity here...

**saltywaters** · 09-13-2009, 11:13 AM

You: WELCOME, TO THE FUTURE!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm pretty sure that is one of my better ones.

Stranger: cyber sex?
You: Only leads to Cyber Heartbreak
You: A vicious cycle of Cyber alcoholism and eventually Cyber suicide
You: Leaving three Cyber children to fend for themselves in the cold world of the internet
You: Cyberlearning from their Cyber Father, they too will continue the vicious cycle.
You: Eventually one of them will become a Cyber Christian, and attempt to pull his Cyber Siblings out of the abyss
You: *Cyber Abyss
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

**Leaf** · 09-13-2009, 11:40 AM

Fun!!

**Peterdivine** · 09-13-2009, 12:59 PM

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: heyy!
You: I MEAN HI
Stranger: okk
You: SHIT, I ALWAYS FUCK THAT UP
Stranger: hahah wow.
You: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Stranger: fuckkkkk
You: I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY HI, BUT EVERY TIME I SAY HELLO OR GREETINGS OR HOW ARE YOU?
Stranger: ????
Stranger: ohh.
You: I'M SO PATHETIC
Stranger: okk
You: OH GOD.
You: I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
Stranger: wow, you need some help bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
---------------------------------
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: TANK! Get me a road out of here!
Stranger: huh?
You: We don't have TIME for you to play stupid, Tank, the EXIT, where is it?!
Stranger: over here....
You: Goddamnit, Tank, that's a wall! You're the worst operator ever!
You: Oh, shit, it's Smith!
Stranger: im blind what do u expect
You: DRIVE, Trinity!
You: Wait, what? This is 700-588-8351, right?
Stranger: yes
You: ...This is Tank, the operator?
Stranger: yes
You: Shit....
You: Okay, "blind" operator, where is the exit!?
Stranger: go left, down the hall, turn right, left, left then right, then enter that room,
You: Smith is going to catch up with us any- ah DAMN.
You: Which building?!
Stranger: the big red one
You: THERE ALL MADE OF BRICKS! THERE ALL BIG RED ONES!
Stranger: the one next to RONA
You: THANK God!
Stranger: 121st floor,
Stranger: shit the elevators broken, get climbing
You: Okay, left, hall rght, left, left, ...left?
You: Oh SHI-
You have disconnected.
-----------------------------------
You: I tried making a paper machie volcano in elementary school.
Stranger: didn't work?
Stranger: the secret is in the underwiring
You: Wasted tons of mache. Did very little work.
Stranger: same with brassieres
You: But yeah, it worked.
Stranger: congrats dude
Stranger: it's the little things
You: The worst part is, I got, like, one chance with the damn thing, because since we were a class of, like, 26 or something, we had to rotate our turns on it.
You: And I know that was bullshit.
Stranger: so the last person had a gloopy slutty mess to deal with?
You: I got one chance on that thing, and the rest of the time I had to do classwork as that smartass bitch Eric worked on it, for like, 30 minutes each day.
Stranger: oh, i see what you mean.
You: I'm not going to forget that.
You: I don't know how he kept on getting his work done so fast.
Stranger: Eric = dead to me
You: I don't even think he did work.
Stranger: maybe he was banging the teacher
You: I think he slipped the teacher bribes or drugs or something.
You: That mobster fuckface.
Stranger: it's okay to cry
Stranger: it's not your fault.
Stranger: it's not your fault.
Stranger: [this is where you cry]
You: Y'know what? I'm going to build a better volcano.
Stranger: attaboy
Stranger: build mount st. fucking helens
You: I'll build Mt. Vesuvius.
Stranger: and set it off in an intersection where Eric drives to work.
Stranger: because you know what? Fuck him, that's what.
You: And the paper machie will be made with my blood. And the lava will be real, imported straight from hell.
You: And it'll be right next to Eric's house.
Stranger: I like the idea of using bonafide hell-lava.
You: Maybe I should use the blood of virgins instead.
Stranger: it's hell-magma until you actually get it out of the ground, ps.
You: Question: which do you think makes a more dramatic message, blood of virgins or your own blood?
Stranger: I'd say keep the virgins, keep your own blood, use the blood of old crusty diseased Greek men.
You: ...lepers?
Stranger: Even better.
----------------------------------
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: never
You: Mr. President!
You: Thank God I found you!
Stranger: What is it?
You: Look, we couldn't use the teleprompter again, so you're going to have to do your speech by memory this time, okay?
You: You're on in two!
Stranger: FFFUUUfine
Stranger: Ill do my best
You: Right, so when the discussion questions come up, what's the policy?
You: Oh, Christ, time's up...
Stranger: errr
You: You're on in five
You: four
You: three
You: two
You: one....
You: *cue*
Stranger: FUCK THIS SHIT
Stranger: IM OUT
Stranger: TELL BIDEN HES IN CHARGE
Stranger: *leaves
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
--------------------------------------
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
You: Exits are North, South, and West.
Stranger: how do you know what i had for dinner?
Stranger: go north
You: You go north.
You: You are now in a swamp. Fetid odors assault your nose.
You: Quicksand lies everywhere. You must wander carefully.
You: Exits are South, East, and West.
Stranger: oh shi-
Stranger: go east
You: You go east.
You: You are now on a mountain peak.
You: The air here is thin, and you rub your hands to fight the cold.
You: Exits are East and West.
Stranger: go west
You: You're back in the swamp.
You: Still smells bad.
You: South, East, and West.
Stranger: yeah i think i'll chill here for a while
Stranger: go home to bel air
You: As you absentmindedly ponder the surrounding area for a while, you realize you're being sucked into the sand!
You: Do you succeed?
Stranger: OH SHI- go go gadget extending arms
You: Your gambit to fight your way out makes things only worse! You find yourself sunk up to your head!
You: You reach out with your mechanical limbs to the nearest tree, but alas, it breaks under your crushing grasp!
Stranger: use snorkle
You: You attach the snorkle. You can now breathe, but not move.
You: Exits are ------------.
Stranger: aw man i'm fucked i should've chilled on the mountain
You: See, this is why you should've used /inv in the beginning.
Stranger: aw man i didn't know
Stranger: /cmds ?
Stranger: /list
You: Your available actions are:
You: GO-GO-GADGET LEGS
You: GO-GO-GADGET ARMS
You: GO-GO-GADGET GUN
You: GO-GO-GADGET SPYGLASS
You: Action?
Stranger: GO-GO-GADGET LEGS
You: You use your Ability Command: GO-GO-GADGET LEGS.
You: You shoot out of the sand easily, even leaving a big enough gap to get one of your feet out!
You: Exits are South, East, and West.
Stranger: oh fuck yeah i wasn't even gonna install those at first
Stranger: go south
You: You are back in the cave. The Grue is disgruntled at your sudden arrival with no forward notice, but will let it slip this time.
You: He invites you to his afternoon tea.
You: Exits are North, South, and West.
Stranger: get some drank, store dat shit its like 5+ hp rite, then go south
You: You accept the grue's offer to tea.
You: You chat politely, sipping the truely wonderous tea he has (+5 hp) until you say that you must leave, and he's been a delightful host.
You: You go south.
You: You are now in a meadow. A few flowers surround you, scattered in the grass, while a couple of bees pollinate them.
You: Exits are North, South, East, and West.
Stranger: look for some shrooms this adventure needs shrooms
You: You attempt to search for shrooms, but are unsuccessful in your venture. This area does not have the shade necessary for shrooms to grow.
Stranger: noooo
You: Exits are North, South, East, and West.
Stranger: i'm gonna stick with south lets go south
You: You are now in a deep forest.
You: The sun is only barely able to pierce the thick treebranches overhead.
Stranger: you describe each setting beautifully mr. computer
You: The terrain is rocky, and a tiny brook babbles through a tiny rivet.
You: Yeah, well, I try.
You: I MEAN-
Stranger: oh shi- wachu say
You: Exits are North, South, East, and West.
Stranger: thats what i thought
Stranger: i just installed a plugin for go go gadget wheels v2.1 ripped by LOL-hdtv.avi so i'm gonna use go go gadget wheels
Connection imploded.

**Jonny Boy** · 09-13-2009, 01:02 PM

Stranger: f m
You: Radio.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

**JohnLalondeStrider** · 09-13-2009, 03:56 PM

I certainly had a good conversation.

You: Hi
Stranger: hi there
You: Wanna mad lib?
Stranger: yes, as a matter of fact I do
You: Ok
Stranger: so...?
You: You are in your (place), when suddenly, a (adjective) (noun) comes crashing through the ceiling! "(exclaimation)!!!" You yell, and you throw a (noun) at it. The (adjective) (noun) dies and leaves behind a (noun).
You: so...?
Stranger: car, sweaty man. Holy shit! brick. the stinky man. his feces
You: You are in your car, when suddenly, a sweaty man comes crashing through the ceiling! "Holy shit!!!!" You yell, and you throw a brick at it. The stinky man dies and leaves behind his feces.
Stranger: lol
You: Your turn
Stranger: hey there's a site where there are a bunch of them
You: Yeah I know
You: or did I?
Stranger: -NSFW site-?
You: Unfamiliar with it.
Stranger: definatley
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wacky! 8

**Leaf** · 09-13-2009, 05:05 PM

The President conversation is one of the funniest I've seen. Evar.

**Anathema** · 09-13-2009, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by saltywaters

You: WELCOME, TO THE FUTURE!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm pretty sure that is one of my better ones.

You should have said "Welcome...TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!"

He would have stayed.

**saltywaters** · 09-13-2009, 08:53 PM

Argh. I'm getting all of my Pop-Culture references wrong today.

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