Interest Check: Secret Phallus

[Betelgeuse]

omg omg omg

Camera battery is charging

OMG

[Betelgeuse]

Alright so.

Oh yay

My turkey gift arrived today! AND IT WAS MICHAEL FIRMAN, THAT SNEAKY BASTARD.

Check this shit out. Look at what a sweet haul I got:



Do you see all that great art and Professor Layton and crazy Canadian candy and doggie poop bags and maybe Grim Fandango? The Yorkie bar is a little misogynistic but I think I will reserve judgment and try it anyway.





LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING AWESOME PAINTINGS AND THE LITTLE BO FIGURINE. Michael how did you know I like my dog so much?? You have seriously made my week with this package. All that art is going up on the bookshelf in my art working area.

However. You did lie to me about who you got as your turkey, and I don't think I can be friends with someone who is so dishonest. But thanks a billion times for the package anyway

[Proxzee?]

Wow! You def got the deluxe gift Betel!
edit: Just saw the Bebarce's turkey. INVOLVED.

[bombardier]

Ha ha! I actually had CheerfulBear!

That's a wicked sweet package, too! Good timing!

[Andrew]

Michael Firman you gorgeous cocksucker. Send me awesome things.

[Betelgeuse]

Ha ha! I actually had CheerfulBear!

That's a wicked sweet package, too! Good timing!

I can't stand the amount of deception surrounding my gifts!!! AAAHHHH!!!


Actually I can because they are fucking awesome and I have been so excited all day because of them.

[Andrew]

Betel is not only capable of merely receiving awesome gifts, she is an expert at delivering them as well.

Check out this outrageously magnificent shit!



This didn't have anything to do with turkeys or any sort of plump holiday fowl. This was delivered in the great spirit of giving first authored on this planet 2000 years ago by Jesus Christ.

Thanks Betelgeuse!!!

[Betelgeuse]

Yeah sure no problem!

[Jan]

The polystyrene Moe is cool! You could have made 100 of them and used them as styrofoam flakes to protect the other gifts. I dunno, maybe you can get prisoners to produce them on the cheap? They have lots of time to do crafts, as evidenced by prison movies.

[EarthwormAdam]

Haha those are all awesome, and would surely cheer up the tiniest of tims.

My gift package is ready to be sent, I've just been too busy to send it in all the holiday hubub. Next couple days though, cross my heart and eat poop pie.

[Reibear]

Those are all certainly outrageously magnificent shits, and I am in awe.

[CopyCat]

Wow

I'll get back to this thread next year for awesome inspiration.

[Benjamin]

I wish I had a camera so I could show off my awesome present which I received forever ago.

[Byrobot]

Is it too late to sign up for the secret turkey exchange?

[Flit]

Is it too late to sign up for the secret turkey exchange?

No, actually you're the first one.

[Byrobot]

Cool. Is it okay if I just get a present and not send one?

Thanks.

[Marty McFly]

Betel, is it true that there's no Coffee Crisp in the States? I hope you enjoyed those, Michael is so cool!

[Flit]

No coffee crisp, not even in neighborly alaska.

Last year nic sent me a comic print, and this year my mom surprised me for christmas:



But is it art??

[Betelgeuse]

There is really no Coffee Crisp here, and it is a shame because it is really delicious. Michael, send me a big box of them please.

[Bobthebobguy]

Coffee Crisp?

[tynic]

HOLY SHIT



WHAT THEY HEY?



FUCKING AWESOME!



Additional pictures supplied by the good grace of Mr Hussie:

So I open a mysterious package and find


OMG! I LOVE WIZARDS!
But what's this?





It seems this book has been in some way defaced! I am appalled ...



and yet increasingly intrigued ...





ok I admit it you're winning me over this book is getting pretty good



and a little arousing (note extra-sensual wizard pubes below!)



Ooh, vouchers!


More beast on auto action. What kind of sicko would find this amusing!?!?!!!!



Muppet pornography, on the other hand, is always welcome.



Chuckling lightly, and a little curious (and turned on??!? no, just curious) I turn the page to find HOLY FUCK CHARLES DUTTON!



BEST BOOK EVER!


CHARLES DUTTON!




SERIOUSLY, CHARLES FUCKING DUTTON!





GODDAMN CHARLES STINKING DUTTON, THAT'S WHO!



But who the heck could this gift possibly be from? The mind boggles! What kind of twisted idiot savant could possibly think up something this outrageous?



No, pretty sure it wasn't him. THIS WILL HAVE TO REMAIN A MYSTERY!

[tynic]

PS In case it wasn't obvious, this pic on the right





is of course by one Mr Darren M A Calvert. What role did he play in the purchase, abuse and subsequent deliverance of this yuletide package?PROBABLY A PRETTY FUCKING HUGE ONE MAYBE! NOT MUCH!

[Andrew]

Oh jesus what an outrageous piece of filth.

I printed the DMAC drawing out because it was quite festive and I needed something to write a letter on.

PS - you forgot to include p01!

[DMAC]

I would like to officially disassociate myself from that particular copy of Wizardology.

[tynic]

OHYEAH




THAT TOO.




The letter actually confused me horribly because it was also signed by DMAC. Basically you're a liar and a forger.