We met here in my apartment a little while ago. At that moment, I was busy hosting you from the future, who is you right now, but I did not mention this at the time. I would have introduced your past self to your future self and vice versa, but it is a well known fact that past and future selves tend not to get along. A good host would never tolerate the potential for discord among guests, and as hosts go, I am simply the best there is.

Please don't be alarmed. Past you was just leaving.

Where was I?